"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

~ Mark Twain ~

White hot pain and then nothing, no pain, no air, no sound an unnatural hush in the middle of battle, caused by the dealing of a death blow. Blood was seeping from the large wound on my shoulder. I could feel the blood, no my blood, running down my chest and then falling to the ground, my heart clenched painfully, there was not much time left. Beside me the mike was screaming, incoherent and persistent in its panic.

"WHAT the hell just happened?" A voice questioned, booming in the disquieting silence, I stumbled closer. The movement left a trail of bright red blood, fresh and wet. Yet my befuddled mind simply could not seem to work up the sense to feel or care.

"The engine's cut out" I gasped, the pain finally flooding me, "and the starter was blown away in the beginning of the battle." I explained brokenly, breathing coming in short raged pants. Eyes fogged by the memory of the lasers connecting with the starter, sparks flying in every direction and hot, burning fire erupting all around.

"Damn it, without the engines we are sitting ducks. You have to fix this!" I nodded, turned and staggered to the closest control board. The screen showed the damage I already knew, the engines were stalled and they could not restart themselves with the starter blown into bits. Near it was a manuel starter box, a fail safe so to speak, the first of its kind and dearly needed in this situation. Two cables extended from it. I glance around the cluttered, burned, scarred engine room, desperately searching for something, anything that held an electric pulse great enough to trigger the chemical reaction needed. The bright red AED caught my eye. I darted over to it and snatched it from the wall. I sprinted back to the starter box, desperation and pain intermingling.

Quickly, opening the box, I ripped the AED open. I groaned in disappointment, the AED was already put together instead of simple wires, at the ends there were pads a type of reducer that make it impossible to use, unless I cut them. Inspiration hit, if I could locate a wires cutter then I could meld the wires together, scanning the immediate vicinity, turned up nothing useful. There wasn't a wire cutter to be seen. In desperation I attempted to tear the wire with my teeth. No good, I dropped the pads and then spat. My mind was not moving like it should be, it felt clogged like a pipe, maybe it was the impact, the adrenaline crash or the blood loss that was still on going, or possibly the combination of the three, nonetheless thinking was like moving through waist deep snow, slow and tiring.

"Why aren't the engine's going?" The mike asked rudely. I could hear people screaming in the background, the bridge was obviously in a panic. I can not say that I blame them either. Without the engine to power the shields we were target practice. Not to mention that the guns and most of the life support system's were run via the engines, and without those going the inevitable was edging ever closer.

"I told you the starter is gone. I'm trying!" I responded, trembling voice exposing my own panic. I tossed the AED away and glared at the engine, frustrated tears threatening to fall.

"Damn you!" I screamed. There was nothing else, batteries held too small of a charge and even those were missing. A phaser might work if I took it apart but that would take to much time, not to mention that I didn't have a phaser. I screamed in despair and frustration, there was nothing else.

"Shit, Cayden you need to get the engines started or we are all going to die!" It was Kirk's voice, normally laced with bubbling laughter was now overflowing with barely contained alarm.

"Kirk, I'm at the end of my rope. I've done all I can," I cried, tears escaping, gradually sliding down my face. Good people were dying because I could not fix this.

"Cayden, don't you dare give up. You can fix this, you can do this," his voice was filling with more and more panic. My vision began to swim as I listened to him rant about my past accomplishments. It didn't matter, I could not start the engine by shear will alone. I stopped and spun to look at the start box. It read; 5,000 volt's needed to start. An idea sprung upon me, punching a button on the speaker madly with my thumb.

"Spock! the human body has an electrical field within it, how many volt's does it contain?" I nearly screamed, the panic was obvious now, there was no point in try to hide it, this was my last ditch effort.

"The human body produces nearly 5,000 volt's." He responded in a forced voice.

"Send Scottie down here, he is going to be needed." I explained as I turned to the box and pulled out the wires.

"Cayden don't you dare!" Kirk screamed, I could almost imagine him, all anger, panic and recklessness. Sure we had, had a rough start, but he was my friend, if I did not do this he would die, everyone would die.

"I've tried all that I can!" I yelled back. The tears began to fall quicker and quicker, their pace steadily increasing as my emotions collided. As the tear fell to the ground it mingled with the blood that had pooled there, the pain was but a distant buzzing in my ears. I could hear Kirk screaming still but it was like I was underwater. His voice was lost to the echoing numbness that was filling my ears. I twisted the cord up my left arm before placing the pad over my left shoulder right above my heart, above the still weeping wound. I repeated the action on my back, stiff, mechanically, mindlessly. On the dashboard the red, start button was the only one I saw.

"Cayden it will kill you!" Bones screamed, desperation clear in his voice. Startled, I blinked rapidly, there was no way I could let him talk me out of this, yet my heart was screaming at me not to go through with this, not to leave. However, duty, and responsibility won out over my emotions and I hoped that one day he would understand. There were 800 lives hanging in the balance, eight hundred people with families, children, brothers and sister all waiting for them to return. If my sacrifice would save them, then I would gladly give up my life. Still, the tears were flowing freely, emotions running deep.

"Goodbye," I whispered, knowing that what ever future I could have had was no longer an option, there would be no second chances. The machine would forcefully suck the electricity from my and I would cease to be. I would never see earth again, never speak to my parents, never roll in the grass, never see the sun or bask in its rays. I would die here today. Die because a stray bullet managed to hit a small machine that pumped 5,000 volts of electricity into the engine to start the chemical reaction needed for the engines to run, a device that was only necessary once in a while.

Damn fate and all of its ironies. A small sob broke from my lips before I could silence it. Sighing heavily, my heart pounded rapidly as I reached forward. Distantly I heard them screaming again, their voices blending together into one. Ignoring them, I pushed the button. A split second before electricity would rip through my body, I realized, I really did not want to die. I desperately wished to take it all back. The abrupt pain in my torso made caused a scream. Then the world around me fell away.

This is my first Star Trek Fanfic. So please Tell me whether is good, bad or ugly :)

Also, the human body can actually hold more voltage than that but on average, or from what I found 5,000 was about average ;)

ANYWAYS REVIEW!!!! It feeds the plot bunnies!