A/N; i honestly have no idea where this came from. i really wish, back in S6, the WtD writers had actually shown how Boyd/Grace recovered from that stupid argument. all comments/criticisms are really appreciated!! x
*
one of those fucking awful black days
where nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger;
an outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour
these are the days when i hate the world (be safe – the cribs)
*
He sits, formidable as ever, in his office, staring resolutely at the wall. You sigh (although you didn't really expect any different), shoulder your bag and leave the bullpen. Stella's confused tones and Spence's snappy answers float down the corridor after you, but you keep walking.
You don't cry. At least, not until you're away from the station. You promised yourself a long time ago that you'd never cry at work; you didn't cry when Harry told you he was married. You're not a woman who exposes her weakness; you keep your career and your personal life well away from one another. As far as you're concerned, the two should never intertwine.
Except with Boyd.
He gets under your skin, and it pleases you to see you have the same effect on him. You used to talk, share your problems – now you snipe, both of you rising to the other one's bait. It's not just affecting your jobs; Spence, Stella and Eve are tired of it. You can see it in their faces, quiet disappointment that hurts more than the eventual angry outbursts. Spence once told you that he respected you more than anyone, and now you're wondering if you've lost that respect.
The truth is, you love Boyd, although God knows you'd never admit it. You worked out a long time ago that you're not Boyd's type. He likes the Sarah's of the world; young, confident, witty. It's a fact that depresses you, but you know that a relationship would never work. He's too angry, so quick to blame those around him; you're tired of constantly defending yourself, having your opinions overlooked because Boyd's explanation is 'simpler to understand'.
The phone's ringing. It's Stella, but it's too much effort to answer. It's too tiring to fake niceties, to pretend that you're fine. because you're anything but.
*
When you wake up the next day, there's a blissful minute where everything is perfect. Then you remember; the words come flooding back (you're repressed, depressed and in denial!) and all you want is to go back to sleep and pretend that nothing ever happened.
But you're not going to, because you're better than that. There's a time for self-pity, and there's a time to get off your backside and do something about it. You're going to be the bigger person in this disagreement; if you have to take the first step and swallow some of your pride, then so be it.
You smile slightly when you see how many messages you've got on your answer phone. You continually tell yourself that Boyd needs you, that the team need you, and finally you understand just how much you need them. They're one big dysfunctional family; all so different but drawn together by this desire to do good. It's such a childish notion - fighting the baddies, saving the day, but it's your job. And you adore it. And there's no way you're going to let one stupid argument stop you doing what you love.
You take a deep breath and pick up the phone.