1. Prologue - Fate
"Pancreatic Cancer, Mr. Watson. Final stage. You know, what it means." He didn't listen anymore. There was a murmur in his ear that did not disappear so easily and with every word of the Doctor it became louder and louder. He expected it himself but he had repressed it successfully. Until the symptoms became this hard that Mrs. Hudson sent him to a Doctor. Well, honestly, he has been forced by her. Sherlock and John agreed with eachother that it was just a gastrointestinal infection. Fear or naivity? He didn't really know.
Probably both. He was not hearing much of what the Doc was talking about. "Gemcitabin, chemotherapy is a possibilty." All this words went through his ears like a huge storm went across the fields. Actually John was planing to do so many things, he wanted to do so many things. He had finally found to himself, to his life and to his love. His life has been so hard before.
War was not so hard to him as it should have been. But Sherlock was. With his crazy, self-confident character he was taking everything away from John. He showed him a world, far away from his loneliness and far away from war and the mission to kill. Sherlocks loneliness was also very impressive and the way which John had to take to get to him and to create togetherness. And now it all seemed to fade away? "How much time do I have?" His voice was silent and free from any emotions because he didn't know which emotion might have been the best for this situation.
Anger? Sadness? Self-pity? Nothing seemed right. "Mr. Watson," the Doctor started but John intterrupted him hardly: "I want to know, how long! How long will I live?" "Six Month, maybe a year. But I don't think very long. I wish, I could tell you something else but this cancer..., it is unpredictable. Especially in your stage," he murmured. Slowly Johns poise came back and he stood up, went to the door, didn't let the Doc hold him back.
Only outside he began to breathe again and then..., then there was an emotion again. There were more than thousand feelings that brought him to his keens and made him almost break down. Sometimes.., fate can be an asshole.