"Hello, and welcome to Firestar's Friendly Talk Show!" Firestar announced cheerfully.
Tigerstar strutted across the stage holding a toy dinosaur taken from Brokenstar and smacked Firestar upside the head with it. "Shut your tiny innocent mouth now. This is my show."
Firestar rubbed his head with his paws. "Hey, that was MEAN!" he whimpered. "You know, back when I was a kittypet, they never beat me with…"
"SHUT. YOUR. FREAKING. MOUTH. BEFORE. I. KILL. YOU." Brokenstar screamed across the stage from where he was sulking under a black blanket.
"What's the magic word~?" Firestar mewed back sweetly.
Brokenstar held up his paw and slid out his claws. Firestar recoiled.
"Um… never mind."
"How did I land a talk show with both of you idiots?" Tigerstar shook his head. "Where's my tutu?"
"Um, you mean MY tutu. Mommy gave it to me." Brokenstar whimpered and cradled his tutu.
"Gimme my goddamn tutu Brokenstar!" Tigerstar screeched.
"SHUT UP. IZ MINE IT WILL ALWAYS BE MINE AND IF YOU TAKE IT FROM ME I WILL TEAR YOUR TOUNGE OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM AND CHOKE YOU WITH IT."
Brokenstar inhaled and exhaled dramatically.
"O-k-a-y. Calm your shit."
"Language, children, language!" Firestar meowed sternly.
"Shut your motherfucking large goddamn mouth right FUCKING NOW." Tigerstar screeched.
Firestar recoiled once more.
Tansy rolled her eyes. "Firestar, stop being a wimp. Tigerstar, stop being an asshole. Brokenstar, get out of your fucking hole of darkness and get up or I will THROW THAT TUTU INTO THE FIRE."
"See what you did, you changed Tansy." Firestar glared at the two evil toms that were now wrestling, smacking each other with toy dinosaurs.