Light Yagami.
Who was this man? What exactly did he mean to her?
To the outside world, he was a genius. Hardworking, perceptive, popular, and talented with a strong sense of justice.
But only she knew the true Light and he was nothing like the man she had fallen in love with. He had become cold, ruthless, idealistic, a sociopath, and a murderer. Light had become Kira.
At first, she had supported him and his ideas. Who wouldn't want the scum of the Earth to die instead of wasting taxpayer money by rotting away in prison? She wasn't surprised that Kira had such a large fanbase, even becoming a religion in some ways. Fitting since Light wanted to become the God of the New World.
When she first met Light, she was being bullied and picked on because she was African-American and since Japan was a homogenous society, she stuck out like a sore thumb. She was a gaijin. An outsider. But Light stood up for her and gave her life new meaning. She started to open up to others and show her true colors. She made new friends, most of whom were gaijin just like her. She finally felt like she belonged.
She was 13 when she first met Light. Throughout those 4 years, Light was her best friend, her confidante, her partner, her everything. He knew all of her deepest, darkest secrets. Even the one that she had never told a single person ever. Her mother's older brother had raped her when she was 10 and it was the worst day of her life. Her uncle had threatened to kill her and held a knife to her throat to show that he meant business. She never told a single soul. Except Light.
He was very supportive of her and was strangely adamant about knowing the man's name. When she asked why, Light responded with a question. Could he trust her?
Of course he could. After all, Light was the first real friend she ever had and she did just tell him her most darkest secret.
Little did she know, that question would open Pandora's box and things between her and Light would never be the same again. The next day, Light had revealed that he was responsible for the string of criminal murders. He was Kira.
He had asked her to become the Goddess of his New World and she readily accepted. That was also the first time they ever made love and it was amazing. Light was hers and she was his. Things were finally perfect. Or so she thought.
As Light began his descent downwards into Hell, she began to notice things about him that were becoming deal breakers for her. He was becoming more manipulative, less caring, more obsessed. He was not the Light she once knew.
That was when he came along. L. The detective that was determined to hunt Kira down. The detective that was investigating Light. The detective that she had fallen for.
Yes she had begun to fall for L. Whether it was simply out of convenience or out of actual care for him, she didn't know. But what she did know was that L was giving her things that Light could not. Sure L had his own share of issues and maybe he was a monster but he wasn't Kira. L had listened to her, made her smile, and gave her reassurance. She couldn't do these things with Light. Not anymore. He was becoming a condescending prick and an asshole to put it bluntly. He was also becoming rather manipulative which she absolutely didn't tolerate. That woman Misa was the final straw for her.
She had nothing against Misa however. In fact, she liked how Misa had a hold on Light by having a Death Note of her own and her Shinigami Rem threatening to kill him if anything happened to Misa. From that point on, the woman knew what she had to do. Light had to be stopped. He was not worthy of becoming a God. He was a little boy playing a man's game. He had to die.
Unbeknownst to Light, she had found a Death Note of her own but unlike him, she rarely used it. She had only written down one name: her uncle's. After she had told Light about her molestation, he had given her the courage that she needed to tell her parents who had long gotten divorced. Her father had gotten custody of her and moved to Japan which is how she wound up there in the beginning. The reactions she received were just as expected. Her father was supportive of her and also very enraged that her mother accused her of lying and stood by her uncle. It was then that she knew who was going to be the first person to die by her hands.
After she had denounced her mother and told her how she truly felt, she went back into her bedroom and cracked open her Death Note for the first time. An indescribable feeling came over her as she wrote her uncle's name down. But he wasn't gonna die of a simple heart attack. No that would be way too painless for him. What was his cause of death? Beaten and sodomized with various objects. It was such a painful death for him and it made her feel…free. Was this how Light felt when he began using the Death Note?
After killing her uncle, the woman contemplated writing down her mother's name as well but decided against it. That infernal bitch would get her karma soon enough. The pain of losing her beloved brother was far worse than death and the woman would forever relish in her suffering.
She couldn't help but snicker as she thought about just how much she had gotten away with under Light's nose. While she definitely didn't underestimate Light's intelligence, she was a pretty damn good actor. As she was pretending to be his Goddess of the New World, she was secretly seeing L and fucking him behind Light's back. While she knew everything about Light's strategy, he didn't know anything about hers. As long as she kept her mouth shut about him being Kira, all was well with Light. That was his biggest downfall. His overconfidence. He didn't even know she owned a Death Note and it was all because her uncle's cause of death wasn't a heart attack like all of the other criminals and as a result, Kira wasn't considered to be a suspect. Hell her uncle wasn't even a criminal. Instead he was an upstanding member of society and her mother's side of the family treated his disgusting ass like a king. But only she knew his true nature and that was why he had to die like he did.
The woman's affair with L was kept top-secret for obvious reasons. If Light found out about them, her death would be imminent. Whenever Light and L were around each other (which was constantly), she only focused on Light and didn't speak to L unless she was being spoken to. Misa was the perfect decoy to keep Light occupied and prevent L from suspecting anything was going on between the woman and Light. According to him, they were just childhood friends.
The only alone time the woman ever got with L was at night when Light was asleep or out with Misa. Since L rarely slept, that gave her ample time to spend with him whether it was in bed or out of it. Of course L tried to get information about Light out of her but sadly she couldn't budge. Just like Light was feigning his innocence, she had to vouch for him and everytime she did so, she fought back the urge to vomit. L was being lead to his death and he didn't even know it. Or did he? L was far smarter than that and he was no fool. Did he truly care about her or was he just playing along, hoping she would slip up? Either way, the woman truly treasured her time with L and would never forget it. It was one of the happiest times of her life.
Having to watch L die in Light's arms was incredibly difficult for her and it took everything she had to not break down in tears and kill Light right then and there. The despicable bastard. Now he had all the power in the world to prevent being caught. He was getting far too cocky for his own good. The fucking fool.
2 months after L's death, the woman discovered that she was pregnant. The baby was L's. It had to be. She hadn't been intimate with Light in quite some time and whenever they did have sex, condoms were used. She didn't use protection with L. But Light was still in the dark about the affair so he didn't know those little details.
When the woman told Light that she was pregnant, she was surprised to see him happy. While he didn't plan on becoming a father especially now, he definitely didn't oppose the idea and for a moment, she could actually see Light returning to the man that she had fallen in love with. Throughout the pregnancy, the woman actually received support from Light both physically and mentally which reminded her of the old days before he became Kira. But she couldn't let her guard down now. The Light that she once knew was gone, never to return. This was simply a façade that Light was showing to please her. She was his goddess after all.
The woman pulled out her Death Note for the first time in years and gently rubbed her large belly. It was time for her to finally make her move. She hated having to do this. But she had to. For the sake of the world. For L. For their baby.
"Light! Would you come here for a second dear?" Since the baby was due any day now, Light was on high alert around her and even the smallest wince would have him asking a flurry of questions. It was almost cute.
Light arrived in the bedroom in record time and had a look of worry on his face. "Calm down. The baby's fine. Sit down Light." Light sat down with his back to hers. "What is it? You're usually not this quiet." "The baby isn't yours." "What?" There it is. Kira. But she wasn't gonna let his venom penetrate her.
"You're not deaf Light. The baby isn't yours. It's actually L's. I had an affair with him the whole time. Right under your nose. For a man of high intelligence, you sure can be pretty fucking stupid." "You're the stupid one if you think that you're actually going to live after telling me all of this." "Bitch please. Your idle threats are getting old. If you're gonna kill me, do it. I dare you. You keep talking so much shit Light. How about backing it up for a change?"
The woman could feel Light tense up and shake. He was livid. She knew how much he hated being challenged and criticized. Her ears could hear the scribbling of her name on the piece of the Death Note that Light had hidden in his watch. Little did he know, the joke would be on him. 40 seconds had passed and she was still breathing. "What the hell?!" "Did you really think that I would be stupid enough to give you my real name you dumbass? I've been using a fake alias all this time. Ever since we met. Courtesy of my father. Fuck you Light. Royally fuck you. You're not a God. You're not even a man! You're just a spoiled little child whose ideals are completely out of touch with reality. You're a sociopath. You don't give a fuck about making the world a better place. You only care about your own ego. You're a murderer. And that's why I have to do this."
The woman turned around and revealed her Death Note. His name was in it. The shock and panic that was in his eyes was completely priceless. She let out an evil laugh that made Light's seem innocent by comparison. "Why? Why did you do this? After everything I've done for you? To make this world a better place?"
"Spare me the guilt trip Light. You don't care about me or anyone else for that matter. You're a sociopath remember? You haven't done shit for me but neglect me and make me cry. L was a much better lover than you. Both in bed and out of it. You can't make the world a better place by trying to make it into something that's impossible to achieve."
As Light began to clutch his chest and take his last breaths, the woman decided to do one more thing in an attempt to mock him. She kissed Light and it was short and sweet. Looking deep into his eyes, she muttered these last two words to him: "Goodbye Light." The life in his eyes faded away and Light fell forward onto her lap. He was dead. Kira was dead. It was all over. His reign of terror was all over.
As the woman stroked Light's hair, she was surprised to feel tears on her face. But why was she crying? Was she weeping for Light or was she weeping for all of the innocent people that he had killed? Was she weeping for L?
It didn't matter. She couldn't afford to cry now. Light's death was going to happen regardless and all she had to focus on now was her baby. L's baby. The baby that he would not be around to see. As for the Death Note? She'll keep it….for now. But unlike Light, she will only use it under extreme circumstances. With great power comes great responsibility and Light apparently didn't get the memo.
Will the world fall apart without Kira? Maybe. But it'll be a much better place without Kira. The world doesn't need a dictator. The world doesn't need anything. There are two things in this world that are impossible to create: perfection and an utopia. Light wanted to create both of those things and as one would expect, he failed and it was at the hands of the woman who was to become his goddess. A very ironic way to die is it not?
Light Yagami.
That name brought many feelings to her. Love. Nostalgia. Happiness. Trust. Hatred. Anger. Betrayal. He was her first love but he wasn't her last. Will she find love again? Maybe she will. Maybe she won't. But one thing that she will always remember is her first love with Kira.