Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the rights to him or involving him, no copyright infringement is intended.
Harry Potter sat on the delapidated floor of Sirius Black's old house with his best friend Hermione Granger, flipping channels on an old television set she had convinced him to buy from a store on the muggle side of The Leaky Cauldron.
"There's nothing on!" Harry muttered vehemently and kept flipping, pressing the up button with more and more force each time.
"Wait!" Hermione yelled suddenly, snatching the remote out of Harry's clutches and flipping back a few channels. "'Whose line is it anyway?' Is on!"
"What?" Harry asked, still surprised that Hermione had snatched.
"'Whose line is it anyway?'" Drew Carey announced, as if on cue. "The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, yes the points are just like the Canadian government, it just doesn't matter."
Hermione giggled.
"It's an improv show." She explained.
"Ah!" Harry replied and leaned back against the footboard of his bed, which both of them were sitting by. On the floor, to better view the small television.
About twenty minutes later a skit came on called 'If you know what I mean' that Hermione seemed to have particular affection for, by the end of it she was practically rolling on the floor laughing.
"We've got to try that sometime." She announced between fits.
"Try what?"
"That game!" She said, she sounded oddly like she was tempted to put the word "silly" at the end of that sentence.
"Why not now?" Harry asked.
"Okay," Hermione said, "But it is kind of perverted..."
"Don't tell me you're afraid of a little perversion?" Harry asked in the most innocent tone one can say 'perversion' in.
"Of course I'm not, now what's the setting? And the time?" Hermione asked.
"How about after a Quidditch game, and by the stands?" Harry asked.
"Sure, why not? You go first."
"Okay." Harry stood up and looked around for a moment before walking across the room, stooping down and picking up his broomstick.
Hermione raised an eyebrow but said nothing, just stood up and looked at him. Harry stood his broomstick with the tail down and leaned on the handle.
"So, you like my broomstick, eh Hermione? If you know what I mean" Harry asked, expecting Hermione to blush.
She didn't.
"Well it seems a bit short to fly very far, if you know what I mean." Hermione said, in a very serious tone.
Harry tried to hide his surprise.
"It's not really the size that matters, it's how you handle it, if you know what I mean." Harry replied.
Harry could've sworn that he saw Hermione colour slightly.
"And how do you handle it, if you know what I mean?" Hermione asked.
"Well I don't think you could handle it, if you know what I mean." Harry replied with a smirk.
"Well, I think you handle it enough on your own, if you know what I mean." Hermione replied.
It was Harry's turn to redden.
"I'd like to know how you know what a well-handled broomstick looked like, if you know what I mean." Harry replied, trying to recover.
"And I'd like to know where you got the idea that I thought you handled it well since I just said that handled it enough, if you know what I mean." Hermione replied.
"I'm more worried about what you were doing watching me handle my broomstick" He paused for effect, "Often, if you know what I mean."
"You've got certain skills, if you know what I mean." Hermione.said, and it sounded like she was avoiding the question.
"I do practice, if you know what I mean." Harry replied.
"Perhaps you could teach me to fly, if you know what I mean." Hermione said slyly.
Harry stared at her a moment, he honestly couldn't tell if she was being serious.
"Well, first once the broomstick is up at the right level you mount it, if you know what I mean." Harry said. "Then you fly, if you know what I mean."
"Do you always get a rush or is it just the first time you fly, if you know what I mean?" Hermione asked.
"If it's the right broomstick then you always get that rush, if you know what I mean." Harry replied.
"But how do you find the right broomstick, if you know what I mean?" Hermione asked, innocently enough.
"Well I suppose you have to try a few first, maybe have a test drive if you know what I mean." Harry said with a grin.
Harry and Hermione grinned at each other for a minute, both trying to come up with something smart-ass to say.
"What're you two up to?" Came the rather unwelcome interrupting voice of Ron.
Harry wondered whether or not he should continue with the game.
"Just shooting the breeze, if you know what I mean." He said, deciding against saying 'Just planning a game of Quidditch if you know what I mean.'
Ron eyed Harry for a moment.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Watcha talkin about?"
"Quidditch." Harry said, before muttering, "if you know what I mean."
"What?"
Hermione grinned.
"Harry, how many test drives have you been on, if you know what I mean?" Hermione said, interrupting Ron.
"None yet, I think I'll know the best broom when I see it. If you know what I mean." Harry replied, happy that the game had started up.
"But you already have a broom, Harry." Ron said, confused.
"We're looking for a broom for me, if you know what I mean." Hermione said knowingly.
"Why do you guys keep saying 'if you know what I mean'?" Ron asked curiously.
Harry pointed to the television, where another episode of 'Whose Line' was starting.
"Oh... I think I'll go then." He said, then stood up and walked out.
"How about you take a test drive on my broomstick if you know what I mean?" Harry asked, picking up right where they left off.
"How do I know yours is the right broomstick, if you know what I mean?" Hermione asked, without a hint of a blush.
"That's what test drives are for, if you know what I mean." Harry explained.
"Well, how about I test drive your broomstick, just to find out. If you know what I mean."
Harry grinned.
"What were you doing in there?" Ginny asked curiously as Hermione and Harry walked out of the room together.
"A bit of the old in and out..." Hermione said.
Harry looked at her.
"If you know what I mean."