So.
This is kind of a prologue, set before the story really starts, taking place in a moment that weren't as awful and tough as the many, many years to follow.
This is my very first fanfic, ever, and I am very nervous to post this. Because I've always told myself never to try it out, because I hate it when people fuck up characterization, and I would hate to do that myself. xD
But fuck it. I couldn't get this idea out of my head, and I better just actually write something for once, instead of just walk around with it in my head until it dies out. But this just wouldn't…
I completely own the OC in the follow-up chapter. She's from my own novel-in progress, and the whole idea with this story grew from me throwing her into the TLOU-universe for fun. So if I see any of you stealing her, I will find you and show you just how dangerous a writer can be, with all that bloody research. I'll go Ellie-on-David crazy on ya.
Anyway! Read, have fun, and enjoy this very short, happy moment. There's not a lot of those in the future. :3
(It should also be said that I'm Danish, so English is not my first language. Incorrect grammar, and probably not the highest quality English literature ahead).
March, 2001
When Joel, a couple of days after the birth of his daughter, sat down in a hard, hospital chair looking at his baby girl inside the incubator, he realized that for the rest of his life, it would be his responsibility that this little thing would have it good in this world; that Sarah would be safe and secure and loved, until she herself would sit in a chair like this.
He had his gloved hands through the holes in the machine, and gently nuzzled his baby girls little feet, her small toes looking like mini sausages. The girl's mother, and now Joel's former girlfriend (not legally ex-wife yet), left as soon as she could stand after the delivery. So Joel was soul alone with Sarah in the dimmed hospital room with pale, white walls and a grey linoleum floor. Ashley and he had talked shortly about what would happen after the whole pregnancy, those long, agonizing months, were finally over. As soon as Ashley got knocked up by him as the result of way too much beer at a way too wild party, Joel bought a ring, Ashely said yes and they got married in the most unromantic way possible: in the matter of convenience, with a clearly visible baby bum in a tight wedding dress, and with a priest that didn't try to hide his disbelief when they gave their vows. That they were just hitting 16 didn't help the image at all.
But the priest was right in his assumptions, of course. Though Joel would try to keep things stitched together after Sarah was out of that damn box, he wasn't stupid. He didn't believe in happy marriages, and he didn't believe in a happy future between Ashley and him. Letters exchanging child support with their names on 'em, that would most likely be it. The only love Joel believed in right now, was the support from Tommy, whose flowers stood in a little vase beside the hospital bed, and the one he had for his baby girl, which little body wiggled under his big, rough hands, even for a 16 year old. His whole being melted by just looking at her small, puffy eyes opening and closing, her little hand closing firmly around his little finger in a tight death grip.
And right there, Joel had it all figured out.
He was gonna find a place to live for them, finish high school and get a job. Pay the bills, buy food and furniture and toys, and he was gonna do the damn best he could for giving Sarah a good life. Even if he was alone, even if everyone left him (as they were already starting to do), he would give all he had.
Joel was never the type to sit down and question the meaning of life or his existence, why the world was round and if there existed a God or not. For many years he'd just accepted that life is hard, and threw all sorts of shit under your shoe when you thought you were walking on a clean road. But right now, in the most silent room, with only the machine summing and their breathing filling the empty air, Joel thought most about his life than he'd ever did in all such classes in school, or when his folks sat down with him, to discuss the matter of college (which were not gonna happen now, he could tell 'em). And it wasn't the darkest life he saw ahead. Hard, yes, tough, yes, and low on money for probably the rest of his life, with debt and the mortgage kicking him from behind. But it wouldn't matter, Joel decided, sighing tiredly under the dim light, as long as it was worth it for Sarah.
Joel stretched his shoulders, felt his eyes heavy and itchy from the lack of sleep. He quietly said "goodnight, baby girl," to the little, sleeping form of his daughter, before he went to make his way back home, before returning in the early morning.
Maybe it would be alright in the end, after all. Nothing told him that it wouldn't.