short, i know. couldn't come up with much.

to col, aka, rainingtearsofchocolate. for. . . well, everything.

i. the beginning of us:

i wonder, do you ever look up to the night sky anymore, and admire the stars like we did ages ago? (and I wonder if you ever think of us if you do.)

and we were laying down in the park, feeling the grass prick our bare feet, watching the magical night sky above us filled with those lights. (and oh, how bright they were.)

"they're beautiful," i said, breathless by the wonder.

"they are," he agreed, and reached to clasp my hand in his. "but not as beautiful as you."

and I bit my lip shyly. "y-you really mean it?" i asked, hoping, and wishing so fervently, that he did.

"yes, i do."

and i blushed, letting my hair slip out from under my ears and cover my face.

he pushed it back almost immediately. "be with me?"

and it was sudden, so surprising, i could hardly believe it. but i did, because i wanted to. (and i'd steal all the stars in the sky for him.)

"okay," i breathed, tightening my hold on his hand. "okay."

and he smiled a smile that lit the night up better than any of the stars in the sky could.

"okay."

ii. the problems we helped each other through:

i wonder who you have to help you through those hard times, because i don't have anyone anymore. (and i wonder if you ever wish for me again.)

my head rested on my knees, and i wrapped my arms around them, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks and willing for this to be a nightmare.

but it wasn't. and i'd seen it coming all along to know it wasn't. but my mind just wasn't willing to accept that.

i stared up at the sky, at the sun shining brightly. it shouldn't have been, i thought. everyone should've been mourning, even the sun. everyone. everything.

i knew it wasn't what grace would've wanted, but she had left. now it was just me and dan. and he'd locked himself in his room already.

footsteps sounded from the left of me, and i dismissed them, assuming they were of a stranger just passing by.

but they weren't. someone seated himself next to me, someone very familiar.

"ian," i said, my voice cracking as i broke down again.

"amy." he placed an arm around my shoulder, stroking my hair. "are you going to be alright?"

i didn't answer.

it was a comfortable, serene silence that filled the time it took for the sun to set, and the pretty colours to fill the sky. i smiled ironically at how i was watching a sunset on the day of a death, but it came out more like a grimace.

"hey," he whispered, squeezing my hand reassuringly. "are you going to be okay?"

i thought about it for a moment. was i going to be okay? my role model, my grandmother, the person who'd inspired me and just been there every time wasn't going to be there for me again. ever.

"i- yeah. i will be." i responded, smiling weakly.

i would be.

iii. the love we had, fading:

i wonder how we went from us to you and me, because i remember fantasying about the ring on finger you'd have proposed with. (and i wonder if you ever did the same.)

chocolates.

he gave me chocolates.

there was nothing wrong with chocolates, not at all, but… i'd always thought chocolate was such an easy way out with presents. you could give it to anyone, really.

plastering a smile on my face, I hugged him awkwardly, kissing him on the cheek. "thanks!" i exclaimed, inwardly cringing at how fake my voice sounded. for a while, we just stood there, and i bit my lip, hating how we were so distant nowadays.

i'd hoped that maybe we could've grown old together, but it seemed as if we hardly knew each other now. our schedules were both packed and we never made time for each other.

"okay, well… i'm going to work," he announced.

"work?" i asked. "but… it's my birthday."

"amy, you know the company needs me," he reminded me.

"i…yeah. sorry, i'm just being selfish. bye." i said lamely. i almost hugged him goodbye, but he left too quickly for me to do so.

staring at the chocolates, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

he'd given me my least favourite type.

iv. the light burns out:

i wonder if you'd be willing to give us another try, but something tells me you wouldn't. (but i would, and i wonder what you'd say if you knew that.)

"it just doesn't seem the same, you know?" he asked me, loosening his hold on my hand.

i let it fall. (like my heart.)

"i know," i said. and the problem was that i did know. i'd known for the last few months, but hadn't done anything because honestly, i'd been hoping for some miracle to happen. something that would keep us together… something that could make everything back to what it was.

but i knew now, that it was impossible.

sighing, i thought of the memories we'd made, from the start to… well, i guess this was the finish.

i blinked, realizing that tears were falling from my eyes.

"bye." i whispered, offering him a tentative smile.

he returned it. "bye."

and just like that, the light of my world, which had already been fading, was gone.