I heard this song and just immediately thought of Stedan, as I do with so many songs nowadays. The song is Still Got Tonight – Matthew Morrison, beautiful lyrics and melodies.
If you're not home, I'll sit here on your doorstep
Button up my coat and wait
Brendan waited in the blistering cold and torrential rain. He watched the droplets hit the hard concrete that covered the ground he stood on. He felt it hit him and slide down his body, decreasing his body temperature with every drop. Late November always felt like this to him. Back home he used to enjoy running through the heavy rain, losing himself completely in the down pour. He couldn't forget himself now though.
He really didn't know why he was waiting here when he could be in a warm flat with his feet up devouring some host of culinary mishaps. All he knew was that four people lived in the council flat he was standing outside of, and three of them were in Manchester tonight, meaning one had to be heading here any moment.
We'll go upstairs close the curtains and we're all set
to pick up where we left again
Suddenly Brendan saw a figure approaching, he knew who it was almost immediately. Although it was dark and hard to see through the rain, the high visibility patches on the young boy's jacket shone through the night, signalling the arrival of Stephen. He seemed to not have noticed Brendan; if he had he would have probably run a mile in the opposite direction. This time when young Stephen did notice his boss, standing outside his door in the dead of night, opted for another of his scared animal tactics, and stopped stock still staring at Brendan with a fear that thrilled the Irishman, knowing he had caused that fear by his own hand.
Brendan smiled, a smile he knew would get his young employee every time, and this time was no different. Slowly but surely Stephen walked over the Brendan and smiled back. The rain was relentless, But Brendan didn't care at this moment, it was the middle of the night and no one was around, a sudden heat over took him as he leaned in and placed his lips on his boy, his Stephen. Stephen searched the older man's eyes for admission, an indication that he wouldn't get a smack if he returned the gesture. The small smile which was mostly visible in Brendan's eye's told Stephen all he needed to know. The kiss was fast and passionate, leaving both men breathless.
"Well are you going to invite me in?" Brendan breathed moving a rain soaked strand of hair out of Stephen's face.
Soon enough they were tumbling back in to Stephen's bed as they had done time and time before.
There's question marks hanging over us
But we won't give the time of day, oh
'Cause all we got is these few stolen seconds
And we can't let them go to waste
There were so many questions buzzing round in his head about what he was doing, who he was and where did he go from here, but he had to block those questions out because it was going to complicate things and stir anger within which he did not want to draw on at this precise moment, he wanted to enjoy what was going on, not analyse everything. He preferred to stay numb to everything outside of the four blank walls that surrounded him. He didn't have long with Stephen and he wanted to take in all of him, all of this moment, these precious moments he had with him before everything crashed back down to reality and he had to leave and return to an empty bed. He wouldn't let anything go to waste, every second counted and he had to make it something special. The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
The feelings Brendan felt when he made love to Stephen were explosive. The mixture of want and lust that built up throughout the days and nights he spent away from the boy was enough to drive him stir crazy. So when the sex actually came it was more intense then ever before. He made sure he got as much pleasure out of it as he could, to tide him until the next time. He also wanted to cause as much pleasure as he could, in these moments he wanted to keep Stephen as happy as he could.
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
Afterward Brendan lay there, Stephen tucked up right beside him, sound asleep. This was always the way and Brendan didn't mind, he liked the quiet moments of Stephen's company, as he normally talked too much, asked too many questions. Truth was Brendan hated being alone at night, not that he was scared or lonely or anything, he just liked the feeling of another warm body next to him and Stephen's was the best body to have beside him he found. His thin body, now slick with sweat, moved only slightly with the breaths of sleep and fitted perfectly next to Brendan. His head lay on Brendan's shoulder, Stephen being more daring when he was asleep traipsed an arm over Brendan's chest, he didn't mind though. The older man chuckled softly at this thought and tightened his grip around the young boy closing his eyes, not brave enough to look at the clock, in case there wasn't much time left.
If he could he would suspend time so he could a few more moments of this quiet bliss, but he knew that was impossible. Not too long in to the future, Brendan would have to leave and go back to being the boss, restricted to stealing glances of Stephen, while he pottered around doing his barman duties. He would be donned to another boring day in the office and another cold night alone wishing it was the night before again.
Stephen stirred "Brendan?"
"Hmm," Brendan mumbled in response
As Stephen rattled off another series of questions about nothing Brendan smiled as he tried to conjure up an acceptable response, that maybe would quieten Stephen down
It was no good dreading the following day and night cause it would put a downer on the moments they creating now. Brendan just had to smile at the fact; they still had that night.