Author's Notes: When I saw Merlin about to use magic in front of Gwen at the end of 4.08, I was so excited that she maybe about to find out his secret, and I was really disappointed when it didn't happen, so here is my own ending to the episode. Sadly I don't own 'Merlin'.
4.08 Lamia – Alternative ending
The Lamia advanced on Merlin and Gwen. The piercing sounds emanating from the creature were like nothing Merlin had ever heard, a terrible shriek like a bird of prey, but also had a snake-like quality. Gwen had wounded the creature, but it wasn't enough. They were going to be killed.
Merlin's heart hammered frantically against his ribs as he looked transfixed into the Lamia's eyes. He could feel his friend's fear as much as he could feel his own. His only thought was for Gwen. She had risked her life to protect him. He couldn't let her die.
Raising his hand and letting the familiar warm sensation his magic created flow through him, he incanted a spell.
"Forbærne!Ácwele!"
A fireball ignited on Merlin's palm. He let it swell to the size of a small bolder and then launched it at the beast. It struck it squarely in the chest. The Lamia let out an ear-splitting cry of pain. Then, the most extraordinary thing began to happen. Starting from the place the fireball had made contact with the monster, the Lamia began to dissolve. The effect spread slowly outwards, until the whole of its body appeared to have been consumed by flame, and all was quiet.
Merlin froze; the full significance of what he had just done hitting him like a mallet. Turning over onto his knees he looked at Gwen. The expression on her face left him cold. There was shock and disbelief in her brown eyes. They could have gazed at each other for five seconds or a lifetime, he didn't know, but everything had changed. He tried to convey his remorse with his eyes, as words wouldn't come. What could he say to make this okay?
The silence was broken as voices and running footsteps came into earshot.
"It sounded close. Round here!"
It was Arthur. He came into view, sword in hand, poised to fight, two knights following closely. His face lit up at the sight of them. "Thank god!" He hurried over to them and grabbed Gwen by the hand, Merlin already getting to his feet.
"Arthur!" Gwen gasped. They embraced. Arthur then turned to Merlin and patted him on the shoulder. "It's almost good to see you Merlin." He grinned.
"Likewise." Merlin smiled back.
"Are you alright? What happened?" Arthur asked.
Merlin met Gwen's gaze again. All the while she had been watching him, and he could almost hear the conflicting thoughts in her mind. What was he going to do? He knew that Arthur couldn't know about him yet, but if Gwen chose not to reveal his secret, he couldn't let her risk the dangers that would mean for her. No. It was his burden to bear. He had no choice but to tell the truth, whatever Arthur may do to him.
"The creature that's been attacking the villagers attacked us." Merlin said hesitantly. "And…"
"And Merlin ran it through with the sword." Gwen interrupted. "It just…exploded." Merlin jerked his head in surprise as he turned to look at Gwen. She was looking calmly at him.
"You?" Merlin snapped out of his reverie when he realised that Arthur was also staring at him. "You killed it?"
"He saved my life." Although Arthur couldn't see this, Gwen directed her words at Merlin. Her eyes were warm, and she smiled softly. Merlin realised that in that moment, without words, she had accepted who he was. Never had a single look said so much, and even if she had said the words, it couldn't have meant more.
"Ha!" Arthur crowed. He moved next to Merlin and clapped him on the back. "Maybe you're not as useless as you look!"
"That's quite a compliment coming from you." Merlin observed.
"Yeah, well don't get used to it." Arthur teased, giving him a shove.
The King then put his arm around Gwen's shoulders and led her away, leaving Merlin standing alone, watching his friends disappear from sight.
Gaius looked around at his patients. He was satisfied that the King's Knight's were making a full recovery. They had been brought to him just in time. If they had returned to the village just a few minutes later, they may not have made it.
"How're they doing?" Arthur walked into the room.
"I've given them the same compound that cured the villagers Sire." Gaius informed him. "They're fortunate that you got to them when you did."
"Thank you Gaius." Arthur placed a hand on his old friend's shoulder and smiled gratefully. He then turned and exited the cottage.
Merlin was crouched in the grass outside, packing things into his bag ready for the trip back to Camelot. Arthur walked over to him.
"You're full of surprises Merlin." Arthur said, as though carrying on a conversation they had already started. Merlin looked up at him.
"That's me." Merlin agreed. "One big mystery."
"We'd probably all be dead if it wasn't for you." Arthur told him. "We're all grateful."
"I wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for Gwen." Merlin said quickly. "It almost killed me, but she wounded it. She saved me."
"You both fought with honour." Arthur assured him.
"Another compliment?" Merlin exclaimed in mock surprise. "I'd almost believe you're becoming soft."
Arthur pulled an amused face and punched Merlin on the arm before walking away with a grin.
Gwen opened her front door to reveal Merlin standing there, an air of uneasiness about him.
"Merlin." She said surprised.
"Hi." He greeted her hesitantly. "I was wondering if we could talk."
"Of course."
She opened the door wider and Merlin walked inside, his stomach twisting with nerves.
What was he going to say to her? He wanted to ask her how she was feeling about what she had learned. He wanted to apologise for hiding it from her. He wanted to ask her forgiveness. Nevertheless, he couldn't bring himself to speak. No words seemed enough.
Things would be so different between them now. In this moment, before either of them had spoken, Merlin didn't know what their relationship was anymore. Gwen would no longer be seeing the Merlin she knew. They were strangers.
"Gwen, I…" he hesitated. "…I wanted to say thank you; for not saying anything to Arthur."
"I owe you my life Merlin." She pointed out.
"If Arthur finds out about me, and that you knew, it's going to destroy your relationship." Merlin countered.
Gwen faltered. She knew that she was selfish to dwell on thoughts about how this would affect her, but it had been playing on her mind too. This was going to be a huge weight to carry on her shoulders. It would cause Arthur so much pain to learn that the two most important people in his life had betrayed him. She didn't want to hurt him. Was she even sure that by keeping Merlin's secret she wasn't putting the whole of Camelot in danger? She had seen how magic could corrupt the most noble of people. However her heart was telling her that she could trust Merlin. She couldn't explain it to herself. It was something deep inside her.
Merlin had noticed her hesitate. "I'm so sorry Gwen." He told her sadly. "I wanted to tell you both who I was, but…"
"I know." Gwen cut him short. "I know why you couldn't."
There was another silence. Merlin stood there, frustration growing inside him. He wasn't putting himself across properly, not doing enough. How could he have so much he needed to let her know and have no way of doing it?
"Now Arthur's King, maybe things will be different." Gwen broke into his thoughts. "He's not like his father."
"Arthur saw his father killed by magic." Merlin reminded her. "He'll never accept magic, and after everything he's been through at it's hand I don't blame him."
"You of all people could change his mind." Gwen said gently. "You mean a great deal to him."
"Well, let's hope you're right." Merlin smiled, trying to express an optimism that he didn't feel. "He'll know someday, but he can't yet." He added. "He may not know it, but he needs me. There are forces out to take the Kingdom for themselves, and I'm the only one who can help him."
Gwen was struck with a sudden realisation. "All the times dark magic has attacked Camelot," she murmured, "you're the one that stopped it."
"Helped stop it." Merlin corrected her.
Gwen shook her head in astonishment. "Arthur needs to know." She said with conviction.
"He can't."
Gwen gazed at him sadly. "I won't tell him," she promised. "but you need to have faith. When the time comes…" she paused, "I think he'll surprise you."
Merlin smiled. It was a small, yet genuine smile, which was full of warmth. "Thank you," he said simply, "for just….everything." Gwen nodded and returned the smile.
"I'd better go." Merlin said after a moment. "Arthur probably needs something polished." He grinned. As he made for the door, Gwen stopped him. "Merlin." He turned. "I know that nobody else will say it, so I will." She told him. "Thank you."
Merlin couldn't manage words, so he simply gave an awkward wave of acknowledgment and a smile, then turned away to hide the tears of happiness in his eyes.