As I touch my stomach I become overwhelmed with joy and pain knowing I'm growing a tiny person in my stomach in one of the most dangerous places in the world... the Dauntless compound, Petta and I have been working with the newbies, well actually only me, Petta has been working with computers in the computer rooms, he's always so busy I feel as if he hardly comprehends that we're having a baby. I love him but work is getting the best of him. We barely moved here around three months ago and I'm already used to it I love it here but it's no place to have a baby, I've been wearing a bullet proof vest to feel more safe about the entire situation Petta said it was a good idea and so now I'm stuck wearing it every day... no one knows I'm pregnant and I don't plan on telling anyone. Eric is always trying to intimidate me with everything he has but there's no such thing as intimidating a girl who won the hunger games several times.I miss my mother, I miss Prim and I wish they could be here to watch how this baby is growing, Petta's mom wasn't quite happy to hear the news about having a grandchild and told me I should abort, obviously I didn't choose that route and here we are seven months later. Petta has been working so often I hardly ever see him and I feel as if this new beginning for us means nothing to him, I wish he could see and feel this growing baby of ours and how amazing it is to be creating a new life inside of me. Work has been hard with the initates who are just a pain in my butt, but I'm getting over it, I'll soon need to stop working so I don't hurt myself with a full grown baby inside of me. I love it here there's so much danger in simple everyday life, I can't help myself but feel right at home. I told Petta how much I wish I could have a baby shower but he already told me about how dangerous it was and he was right, what was I thinking? Once this baby is born I want to settle down somewhere safe for him or her to grow up, (yes I know I don't know the gender of my baby yet and I really want to but I just don't feel like I can fit that into my calendar until my maternity leave)... Petta wants a girl and I decided I wanted a boy. Petta and I have very busy schedules, our schedules are so busy that we hardly see each other anymore and I just want him to stay home for one day with me and our baby but sadly wishes don't always come true and that's something I've learned a very, very long time ago. Time comes and goes very fast just as if I'm still in the Hunger Games arena except for the fact that everyone doesn't try and kill each other obviously. I'm having a doctors appointment soon to check the growth and health of the baby hopefully everything is just fine and maybe I'll find out the gender too. I don't know if I want to have the baby at home or in the hospital yet but I think I'm beginning to lean toward a decision. I love Petta, I love him so much and I don't want him to miss out on all of this important stuff that's happening, maybe being a father feels scary to him but we're in the dauntless compound now there is no such thing as fear and if there is you get rid of it and suck it up. I remember the look on his face when I told him he was a dad he looked as if it were Christmas morning and he looked so excited but the best part about it was when he whispered/yelled I'm going to be a dad! That was when I knew this baby was going to change both of our lives in a way neither one of us could even ever imagine.