MEMENTO MORI

Als een kind blijf ik altijd op u kwaad

Maar als de man die ik nu ben blijf ik altijd u soldaat, mama

Translation: As a child I will always stay mad at you

But as the man that I am now, I will always be your soldier, mama

Zwangere Guy (1988-...)- Gorik Pt 1

A cold gush of air flew over the dark woods of Anima, trees waving restlessly while clouds covered the dark moon hanging over the nightly forest. Rats and other vermin crawled around on the dark floor below the curtain of dark leaves, leaving a deep abyss at the ground. Rain poured down on the forest, filling the air with the stench of wet rotting wood and fur. The woods seemed to weep, and it was not alone.

Hidden between the large trunks and dark bushes was the illustrious camp of the Branwen tribe. The gates were closed, guarded by two tribesmen, desperately clutching their thin overcoats to their bodies in a useless attempt to keep them from flying away and to shield themselves from the merciless rain. It was of little use though, and they felt the same cold that seemed to crawl throughout the whole area.

One of the guards could almost feel her own cold tears on her cheeks, before wiping them away. In a tribe where things like compassion were seen as a weakness she needed to hide her true feelings. Others weren't so strong though, and many hid in their tents so they wouldn't be seen in the open, their emotions for all to view.

It was a hard and tough philosophy, but it had always helped with the one thing that the tribe put before all else, and that was survival. It was a system wherein only the best strived and the others failed or died. It left only the strongest and most capable alive, and as such they could keep their tribe afloat.

"Survival of the fittest."

It had been a moto they had all lived by, but none as stoically and stonily as Raven Branwen. She had embodied everything the tribe stood for. From day one she had embraced her role as a tribesmen and she had excelled at it. She had betrayed, hurt and destroyed countless people, all in the Branwen way. Summer, Taiyang and Qrow had all been on the long list of victims, although they brought most of it on themselves. Taiyang had never really fitted her. As a strong but sensitive soul, he had refused to do what was necessary to win and he didn't have what it took to raise a child of hers. To raise it like it was supposed to. Like a Branwen.

Summer had always been much the same, and it hadn't surprised Raven in the slightest when she had received intel that Ruby Rose had turned out to be nothing but a weak midget in a story ten times to big for her. A child that wanted to play with the mature toys. It had been a disaster from the beginning to the end, and she still remembered the small smile that had graced her features when she had received news of Beacon's demise.

It had been one big "I told you so" moment and her mind couldn't help but enjoy the thought of weak little Ruby Rose crying for her weak daddy and Ozpin standing helplessly on the side, seeing his foolish ideals burn before his eyes. It was a petty thought, but that didn't mean that it wasn't worth savouring. Not the least bit when she thought about the only person that had ever managed to hurt her, instead of the other way around.

Qrow

She had always known that he was the weaker of the two. He struggled with basically everything, and even if he blamed it on his "refusal of authority" , she could see through those lies. Deep inside, he was just a small child that had never really grown up, being born in a tribe that pretty much stole his childhood from him. Although she had seen it coming, it had still stung when he decided to leave so many years ago. It had been the one thing she had hoped would never happen, but the Gods had never dealt her any favours in life, so why start now? It had been a knife in her back, but she recovered as she always did. Or as she used to at least, because these last days something had been very wrong.

It had been a couple of days after the attack on Haven academy. The tribe had given a feast to celebrate Vernals passing, and after that everything went back to normal. The tribe plundered, the people screamed and Raven decided to yet again run away from the haunting voice of Yang ringing in her mind. Previously, it had been her daughters cries as her mother ran away from her husband's house, and now, so many years later, cries had made room for words. Hurtful, disgusting, cruel words.

Raven had never really been a person to become sick. Her best guess had been that thanks to her always living in the wild, she had managed to become immune to most sicknesses plaguing Remnant. Apparently, her assumption had been wrong and her luck had run out. Her tribal doctors assumed it had something to do with the maiden powers, but they couldn't help her further. Refusing to take any help from outsiders, she came to be in her present predicament.

Many guards surrounded the central tent of the Branwen tribe, as if to secure their leader from any other harm. Inside were only two people. A doctor of the tribe and Raven herself.

"I am going to be honest with you, my dear leader. It seems like your end is near." Said the doctor, her face grim. Raven only nodded. Her once stoic face had become bleak and empty, bags forming under her sunken eyes. Her hair, once fierce and wild, now laid spread over the bed, thin and weak. Her armour laid next to her bed, no one daring to remove it. Even now, she still ruled the tribe, although it wouldn't be for long. The mighty had fallen, and she had fallen hard.

"What do I tell the tribe?"

Raven lifted her eyes a little, trying to look at the healer that stood next to her bed. It pained her to realise how much effort that simple move took.

"Nothing. Not now at least."

"But….What about."

"Not a single word. Understood?"

The healer nodded hastily, fear clearly on her face. Raven couldn't help but grin a little. Even now, she could still hold on to her power. Even now, she managed to survive. But did she really? Within a couple of days it could be over anyway. What was the point in keeping control if she had no way of securing her tribe?

Raven sighed, closing her eyes. Why did this all of this have to be so needlessly difficult? She had battled, fought and survived her whole life only to die from some stupid disease. She had always known better than others. Her life had always taken the right path. She didn't stray from her path like her brother, didn't fail like Taiyang and didn't die so pathetically like Summer. Only one of their team had managed to evade every trap on the dangerous road of life, and she had been that person.

"It is not difficult to evade traps when you run away from them."

Raven groaned. There was that voice again. That accusing, manipulative voice. The thing that had been haunting her dreams ever since Yang had looked her in the eyes and told her what she thought of her. In a moment of emotional weakness, Yang had managed to get her message through Raven's shield and now the leader of the Branwen tribe had to suffer for it.

"It is nothing." She had told herself. "That naïve brat thinks she knows how the game works. I say, let her have it. I have helped her enough as is. No need to save those who do not deserve it."

Raven coughed. With a small remnant of her old reflexes, she managed to bring her hands to her mouth, only to see blood on them when she opened her eyes to inspect them. She sighed. Was she really thinking that about her daughter? Her own flesh and blood?

"Of course. She is no better than me. Why should she get a soft treatment? If life had thought me anything, it is that it always takes and never gives."

Closing her eyes again, Raven managed to drift in and out of sleep for some time. The healer had decided to leave the tent, seeing as her mistress needed some rest. After some hours, her eyes opened again. A burning headache had destroyed every chance of getting a good nap, and as such, she decided to entertain herself by looking around the tent. A small smile appeared on her face when she saw the many trophies on the walls. Spoils of battles and wars, from her very first one at age seven, until her very last one from barely a month ago. Between the old relics were also pictures, although lesser in number. One of her and her brother, both barely ten years old. Raven was posing as if she was a knight, a small sword in her hand, it's point firmly in the ground, her face holding a wide smile. A child that loved to play with the mature toys.

Qrow on the other hand looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. A fake smile couldn't hide the frustration in his eyes, and the knife in his hand looked like he barely held on to it. He didn't care about it. The contrast was only made more apparent with the picture hanging next to it. A frown came to Ravens face when she recognised the image of team STRQ. Although her brother's face was stoic, she could see that he….belonged. For some reason he seemed to thrive in that idealistic team, instead of the values he had been raised with, but there was nothing Raven could do anymore. She didn't bother to look at the others. They were failures, and as such did not deserve her attention.

But what about Yang?

Raven's smile faded as fast as it had come. Throughout the years she had tried to cut all ties with her previous associates. Their weaknesses could only do her more harm than good, and as such she tried to make all memory of them disappear. This had proven to be more difficult than she initially thought. Summer's death had saddened her, regardless of her previous stance on her and she still used her bird-form to spy on Taiyang for the first years after Summer's passing. But if it was for Taiyang that she came, it was for Yang that she stayed. She had initially expected her to be beyond disappointing. A child created by a proud warrior, only to wither away in the care of a weakling. To her surprise though, she saw a strong, fierce and stubborn young lady that resembled her in more ways than she dared to admit.

Her child. Her own flesh and blood. The daughter she had never wanted. To her utter disgust, she eventually developed an almost sickly need to watch over Yang. It went against everything she stood for, but something inside her couldn't bare the thought that something would happen to her little girl. Call it a weakness, but her heart craved those moments where she could look at her girl and just enjoy her. Enjoy how she moved, how she fought, how she spoke. A small feeling of euphoria overcame her when she noticed Yang developing her own stubbornness and Taiyangs ridiculous humour. It were small things, but they meant the world to her. This had lasted, until the fight on the train. Raven had known about Neopolitan for some years. Her spies had named her a couple of times before when she wanted her yearly update on what Salem's forces were doing. She hadn't paid to much attention to the name back then, mistaking her for a common thug. To her horror, Neo had proven to be an extremely skilled warrior and Yang was on the brink of dying when she became unconscious. In that split second, Raven had made a decision that changed everything.

She had saved her daughter.

And thereby broken all the rules she had once made for herself and the tribe.

Since that day, she had promised herself that she would never again make that mistake. Her daughter was weak for not being able to fight off such a common enemy. The event had ripped Raven from her motherly dream with a force she could barely handle. How foolish had she been to loose herself in those sentimental thoughts for all those years?

Her values, everything she stood for had been put on the side-line, and for what? A weak brat that couldn't defeat a disgusting criminal? A young and impulsive teenager that couldn't take care of herself on the same age that Raven had already become the leader of her tribe? A daughter that wasn't even worthy of being called hers if she wasn't able to do the one thing a Branwen would always do. Survive. It was pathetic.

"Still pretending like you are all high and mighty, aren't you?"

Raven almost chocked on her breath when she heard that voice. Her eyes shot open as if she had been revitalised by a burning fire, and her head turned, scanning the whole room for the person to which this impossible voice belonged to. Until….

"Yang?"

Raven almost fell out of her bed when she saw the dark outline of her daughter, barely visible thanks to the small lights in her tent. Still, this was unmistakenly her daughter. The fierce blond hair, lilac eyes, strong build and voice that just screamed attitude. It could only be one, and that was her daughter. Her ultimate disappointment.

"What's the matter? Did you not expect me?"

Raven didn't answer, her eyes still widened in shock. One of her hands trembled, searching for her sword, but to her horror it seemed to have disappeared.

"What's the matter, mama? Don't tell me the strong and fierce Raven Branwen, leader of the Branwen tribe, is afraid of a simple brad? A weakling? An ultimate disappointment?" A small chuckle followed Yang her words, although there wasn't a trace of amusement to find in it.

"What do you want?" Raven spat at her, her voice sharp and clearly on edge. She wasn't going to back down in a moment like this. She wasn't going to show weakness in front of her own daughter. Yang didn't seem to respond to her hostile tone, instead choosing to look like she was thinking about a good answer, before casually shrugging.

"Years ago, I would have been able to answer that question in a heartbeat, but I find it rather hard now. It is difficult to ask for a mother when the only participant for the role is someone like you."

"And what is that supposed to mean? I gave you life. I birthed you. I am the reason that you exist. You should thank your mother, instead of complaining like the spoiled child you are." Raven hissed through her teeth, rage taking over. This girl had a lot of nerve. Yang responded by giving a short laugh, before answering.

"Don't worry, I thanked my mother enough. I thanked her for everything she gave me. I have to agree with you on that. Maybe, I should have thanked her more. I should have thanked her for giving me the best sister in the world, for the countless hugs she gave me, the endless love she gave, the delicious cookies she made. I should have thanked her for all of that. Sadly, life never truly turns out like we want it to."

Raven's eyes widened when she realised what Yang was saying. Summer Rose. The imposter. Raven knew she shouldn't have been offended by this. It was to be expected from such an ungrateful daughter that she wouldn't appreciate all she had done for her. Of course Yang would choose the side of affection over the one that literally gave her life. It was what she had come to expect and accept. So why did it hurt so much? Why did she even care. In an uncontrolled reflex, she turned her face away slightly in a useless attempt to hide the small hints on her otherwise plain face of her distress. Yang still noticed though, shooting a mockingly surprised look at her biological mother.

"No way. Don't tell me that you actually….care? I would have found it endearing, if it wasn't so hypocritical." She said, followed by a amused snicker. Raven her hands began to tremble.

"How dare you." She whispered. Yang shot a questioning look at her mother.

"What do you mean? "

"How dare you." Raven exploded, her voice booming through the tent. "I gave you everything. I gave you a family. I left you with a caring father and a good place to grow up. I watched over you day and night. You were the centre of my world. I even sacrificed my own principals for you. Don't you realise how much I betrayed and how much I gave up just to see you? To watch you grow, to hear your voice, to see your smile. I left for whole days at a time just so I could visit you and see you, leaving my tribe and myself in danger. All for an unappreciative little girl that couldn't see that the only thing I ever wanted for her was to survive."

Yang seemed to be taken aback by Ravens sudden explosion, and her eyes slightly lowered, as if thinking about the words of her mother. She still followed it up with the same mocking laugh that Raven had become used to over the last few minutes.

"You had me almost fooled there, Raven. For just a second I almost believed you really cared about me. But even if you were looking out for me, you still never helped. You never stretched your hand out to me. You never spoke to me. All you ever did was watch. You could have prevented so much. You could have saved me so much pain."

"That was to make you stronge-"

"Don't even try to finish that sentence. Do it, and I smack the living daylight out of you." Yang hissed, her gauntlets making a click noise. Raven swallowed. She was at her daughters mercy. Eventually, Yang sighed, looking her mother straight in the eyes.

"You know what? Fuck off. I don't need you. I had the best father ever growing up, an awesome sister and an even better mom than I could ever wish for. I made friends and I succeeded at so much that you have never even compared too. I have been through the worst things and still came out on top. I never ran away, and I still came out on top. I am everything you aren't, and I still come out on top. You disgust me, Raven Branwen and I hope you will never make the mistake of calling yourself my mother again. Goodbye, and farewell. I hope you are proud though. I survived."

Without giving her mother more than a single look, Yang turned around, pushing herself through the entrance of the tent without looking back.

"I saved you on the train. Doesn't that vouch for me?" Raven wheezed. Her daughter only snorted at this.

"You should have let me die. That way you wouldn't have broken your oh so important code. But consistency never was your strongest suit, was it?"

Yang walked further away from her.

"No." Raven whispered. Yang was leaving her. Her daughter, the light in her life, the one thing she had lied to herself about the most in her pathetic life was leaving her.

"No, Yang please. Come back." She asked, her voice getting shaky from emotion. In an act of desperation, she stretched her arm, as if to grab her daughter so she would never leave again.

"You disgust me, Raven Branwen." Was all Yang said, before finally stepping out of the entrance, leaving nothing but dead air and the sound of pouring rain.

"Yang. I am sorry." Raven screamed, but no response came. It had happened. The last person that had once trusted her, the last person that still unconditionally tried to love her, was gone. Tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"Yang, please come back." She sobbed, her chest shaking heavily, panic overtaking her. How had she managed to fuck this up so badly? She had always known she was wrong. She had known her flaws. She had learned to live with them, but now, with death looking over her shoulder and her daughter declaring her unworthy of the role of mother, she finally saw all the things she had missed. All the ways she could have changed herself and others.

She could have meant so much. There was still so much to say. If only she had told Taiyang how much she had loved him, Summer how much she had cherished her friendship and Qrow how much she admired his independence and how he managed to do the one thing she had never could. Counting herself totally away for other's benefits.

"Yang" she finally screamed, covering her eyes with her hands. Alerted by the sudden noise, guards began to pour into the tent, only to see their leader coughing up blood, her hands covering her red, tear-filled eyes. A last cough was all it took, before her chest convulsed violently, followed by it stopping altogether. The stress had been too much. With one final cough, Raven Branwen wheezed out her final breath, her wet eyes staring into nothingness.

Later, tribesmen would tell stories of how her last word before dying was "Yang". No one knew why she said it though, or what made her flip out like that. The guards had never left their post, so no one had entered the tent. The only one who ever gave some kind of explanation was the healer, her final cryptic conclusion still haunting the tribe to this day.

"After a life or running away, it seems like her past finally caught up with her."

...

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