Author's note: As aleways the BBC and Elizabeth George own Tommy and Barbara. This is just a little piece of nonsense written to amuse me on a wet and cold Sunday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't care Lord bleeding Asherton! You are nothing but an insufferable, arrogant ponce from a high falutin public school for snobs, who thinks just because he has royal blood he is in charge of the world!" Barbara flung her shoulder bag down on her desk so hard her desk lamp jumped.

"Firstly Havers I do not have royal blood, well it is distant at least, and secondly I fail to see why such a simple request has created World War Three!" Detective Inspector Lynley yelled back as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. It was hardly his fault that he was also the 8th Earl of Asherton.

"No, you wouldn't, because you are not like us. It was far from a simple request. Just think about it seriously for one minute and you'll see all the reasons why it was the most hare-brained suggestion you have ever come up with Sir. Your head is so far up your tail that your feet are barely visible! You have no idea do you just how ridiculous you are being?"

"Don't be crude Havers. And I don't think it is ridiculous at all. I thought you were over your class warfare days but it seems you are still the same anti-social shrew I met ten years ago!"

It was close to midnight and Winston was the only person still in the office. He stared at them as they traded insults, looking from one to the other. "I take it the drive back from Kent did not go well?" he ventured.

His voice startled them and they both said, "what are you doing here?" They looked accusingly at each other realizing they had echoed each other's thoughts.

"Paperwork."

There was an awkward silence until Barbara finally said, "Sorry Winston, it was fine until Greenwich and then his Lordship here had to stop at the Observatory."

Nkata was confused and sarcastically said, "yes well that would do it. Fancy stopping there."

"Shut up Winston," they said in unison, both turning to glare at him and then at each other.

Tommy Lynley turned on his heel and stormed into his office slamming the door behind him. Barbara launched after him and Winston trailed behind her. "Oh no you don't. You are not going to try to take the high moral ground Sir and sulk in your office." She too slammed his door hard and the sound reverberated off the shaking glass of the partition.

Winston had followed hoping it would calm them down but now he was trapped with them and tried to slink out. In harmony Lynley and Havers yelled, "stay where you are Winston!" He grimaced and turned to face them wondering if this was the way the horses in the OK Corral had felt caught between the McLaureys and the Earps. They were both red faced and flustered and looked accusingly at each other. They had no idea how much alike they were when they were angry.

Barbara fired first, "don't you think making me stand with one foot either side of the meridian was a bit over the top?"

"No! It was designed to say that just as we straddled the East and West hemispheres so too could we bridge our differences to create a cohesive whole. How wrong I was!"

"How wrong indeed!"

"Yes, I was being sincere and logical. Despite your current performance it is still an excellent idea and something I want very much." Tommy was no longer shouting but his anger filled the room. "It seems however that honesty and romance are not traits you look for in men."

"Honesty is fine but soppy adolescent ideas of happy-ever-after rubbish certainly do nothing for me. We are not Cathy and Heathcliff!" Barbara's voice had returned to its normal range but sounded ragged from the prolonged yelling.

"No, we are not because we are not consumed by a passion that threatens to destroy us. This is not some gothic tragedy Barbara, this is real."

"From here it seems to be doing a pretty good job of destroying us."

"At least now you are conceding it exists. I should be grateful; that at least it is a step forward."

Winston presumed they had been at each other's throats since Greenwich. He had had enough of listening to them argue and snapped, "what the bloody hell are you two on about?"

Tommy waved his arms to indicate Barbara should answer. "He asked me to marry him!"

Nkata grinned. "About time Sir. Congratulations!"

"Shut up Winston!" The answer came in stereo and Winston knew he could not win tonight no matter what he said.

"How can you ask someone to marry you when you have never even kissed them?" Her question was hypothetical but very much focused on Tommy. Winston was shocked; he had assumed for months that they were sleeping together. Their relationship had changed but it seemed Barbara had been oblivious. No wonder she is upset.

Lynley moved quickly across the room and caught Barbara off guard. He pulled her to him and pressed his mouth on hers. It was not the loving and tender kiss he had planned to give her at Greenwich. This one was lustful and demanding. He had expected her to back away objecting but after initially pausing she responded with equal urgency and vigour. His arm tightened around her back as he ran the other through her soft and silky hair. It was odd; he had imagined her hair would be thicker and coarser. Barbara pulled him closer and now dropped her hands from his waist onto his rump and was gently massaging it to the rhythm of low groans which he suddenly recognised were coming from his own throat. They broke their kiss, panting, but held each other tight. They looked around and saw Winston staring open-mouthed at them. "Get out Winston!" Again they spoke as one before resuming their kiss. Winston escaped and smiled all the way to his car.

This time their kiss was gentle and loving but equally passionate. "See, getting married would mean we could do this forever," Tommy whispered breathlessly.

"We don't have to be married to do this," Barbara said while Tommy was nuzzling her neck, "it just wouldn't work Sir. I can never be Lady Asherton."

Tommy demurred, "you can and it will suit you. You would be a breath of fresh air and I'll be there with you every step of the way." He was tracing his kisses from her shoulder up under her ear and Barbara's will to resist him was being undermined by a physical yearning that was tormenting her with each of Tommy's caresses.

"I never thought I would say this but maybe I could just be your lover?"

"I don't want you as my lover," Tommy murmured in her ear, "well I do, but as my wife."

Barbara sighed sadly and rested her head on his chest. "One day you will find someone worthy of you and then I will have to give you up. That's too painful to contemplate which is why it is better not to even start anything."

Tommy unconsciously brushed some hair from her face and in doing so ran his hand softly across it. "I don't want to find someone else. You and I might be an odd couple but it works for us. We will argue until the day we die but we will never find partners who are as loyal to each other or as passionate about each other as we are."

"How do you know we are passionate after just one kiss? That might fade as the novelty wears off." Barbara was fighting her urge to give in to him.

"It won't, trust me. Our passion comes from a much deeper emotional and spiritual connection that we've had for years. The physical side is just an expression of that." Tommy's desire for her was becoming overwhelming and as he kissed her neck again he struggled to behave as a gentleman was expected to do in the circumstances. "We both want this…you know we do."

"We might not even be..." Her objections were smothered by his kiss which was bold and electrifying. Barbara had wanted him so badly for so long that her body was betraying her mind and was acting with an instinct and purpose of its own. She tore at his shirt trying to free it and sensed him answer by hungrily undoing the buttons on her blouse. The feel of his skin beneath her fingers awakened sensations of tingling anticipation that she never thought she would feel again. He had skilfully undone her bra and as his hands closed around her breasts she realised he had backed her up against his desk. There was something raw and animalistic in their desire for each other and it excited her.

Suddenly Tommy stopped and pulled the edges of her blouse together and then hugged to him. Barbara was devastated and angry. "It seems passion died very quickly for you," she snarled trying to push him away.

"On the contrary Barbara but I don't want the memories of our first union to be of a torrid five minutes of hot sex on my desk worried that someone from uniform might come upstairs and catch us. I want the time and space to make love to each other slowly, again and again."

His words and the raspy edge to his usually rounded baritone sounds were seductive and inflamed rather than doused the fire raging inside Barbara. "Sir, you've woken something in me that has been sleeping for years and now wants to be fed." Her voice was deliberately velvety and she started to grind her pelvis rhythmically against Tommy whose moans told her she was winning the argument. "I understand what you mean about making love but regardless of location this is going to be fast and hard and exhilerating because we have been waiting so long. Just because we want each other so badly doesn't make it any less affectionate and it doesn't mean every time is going to be the same."

"Barbara don't," he begged as she started to undo his trousers, "you have no idea how much I...oh God...oh that is divine."

"Hmm Sir! I know what feels divine!"

"Tommy, please call me Tommy Barbara!"

Within seconds they managed to tear off the rest of their clothes which lay scattered across the room along with the papers that had been covering his desk. Their kisses were fevered as their hands explored each other's bodies. Both consciously tried to make it last as long as they could but Tommy eventually lifted her onto the desk giving him access to the area he most desired. He stood at the end of desk admiring her curves and the softness of her body then traced kisses across her scars and down her abdomen.

"Hmmm...oh Sir...oh yes, that is so good..."

Tommy stopped. "No more until you call me by name Barbara," he said teasingly.

"Only when the time is right."

Tommy understood her meaning but also learned that Barbara was intending to be a matching force for him in bed as she was at work. They were going to be so good together but he was going to make her surrender first and his hands and tongue moved with increased purpose.

"Ooh...oh yes...oh like that...oh faster...yes...OH GOD...OH TOMMY, TOMMY."

A broad smile lit up his face and he climbed onto the desk over her supporting himself on his wrists and knees as he bent down and kissed her. "Oh Barbara you were right. This is so much more than sex."

He felt her hand on him guiding him down and he slowly lowered himself. "Are you sure?"

"Never more sure of anything...Tommy," she said accepting him.

"Oh that is beautiful, you have no idea how glorious you feel." Tommy was in heaven. It was sensual and erotic but above all he could sense how vehemently Barbara loved him.

"Oh Tommy, that is magnificent...ooh, oh...mmmm," she purred as he filled her body and her heart. He was worshipping her and she had never felt so needed and adored.

"I do hope Winston went home." Tommy was trying not to focus too much on their movements. Each time her muscles gripped him in response to his gentle thrusts he slipped closer towards the edge. He did not want this to end even though he very much wanted to experience the joy he knew was rapidly approaching.

She laughed softly at the thought of poor Winston but as the general pleasure she felt started to concentrate and intensify she focused solely on Tommy encouraging him to move faster and deeper. She waited until she felt him begin to quiver then freed her mind and allowed her body to take over.

Tommy sensed the change in Barbara's expression and as he looked deeply into her eyes he saw an intimacy and desire that he had never seen in any other woman's eyes. That, and her groans were too much for him and the burning that began in his toes and fingers crescendoed rapidly through his body.

"I love you," they cried in unison at the height of their passion. Smiling they looked at each other then kissed.

Minutes later they lay still joined and kissing when Tommy asked her again, "marry me Barbara."

She took a deep breath and sighed, "I think we might regret this but yes, I will."

Tommy smiled the special smile he kept only for her then kissed her with a tenderness that made Barbara melt. They started to slowly increase the rhythm of their movements as he whispered, "we are never going to regret this!"