DISCLAIMER: All things Potter belong to JKR.

A/N: I don't know why I thought a cut-down version of this would be better to post. "Stop and Stare" completely lost the tone of this one, and I couldn't use the original title I'd planned for it or even the same song...

I love this version. Hope you love it, too. Enjoy.

"Can't you help me as I'm starting to burn?
Too many doses,
And I'm starting to get an attraction." - Avenged Sevenfold, "Bat Country"

-- Starting To Get An Attraction --

He'd cornered her, alone, after the meeting.

"Why did you come here tonight, Bella?"

"Why wouldn't I have come, my lord?" she asked guardedly.

He frowned. "You are married now. I wouldn't punish you for staying home to bear and raise pureblood children."

"I don't think there are going to be any children," she said quietly, looking away from him. Her voice was tinged with bitterness as she continued. "We moved out of my apartment into the new house he bought... I have my own bedroom." She shot Voldemort a hate-filled glare, then looked away again as she railed, "This is your fault. You ruined it. You ruined everything when you raped me."

She gasped as he pushed her against the wall, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him.

His eyes burned into hers as he spoke in a deadly hiss.

"I did NOT force myself on you. YOU never once resisted my advances or asked me to stop."

What was he saying? Of course she hadn't resisted, he was the Dark Lord! She had assumed that if she'd fought back, he would have forced her anyway...

"That first time, I told you I was a virgin," she argued.

"And if you wanted to stay that way, you should have stated it clearly," he snapped.

And she remembered that first time he'd come on to her. He'd made his intentions perfectly clear, and in a panic she had blurted out, "Wait, my lord, I'm a virgin!" To which he'd responded, "I'll be gentle." She hadn't protested further or physically resisted, and he'd been true to his word.

Bellatrix was stunned by the revelation that most of this was her fault, that if she had only fought back maybe none of this would have ever...

Just the thought of it made her eyes fill with tears.

Voldemort saw her expression change and lowered his hands.

"If I'd asked you to stop... would you really have...?" she asked, voice shaking.

"Yes," he said firmly. "I am not an animal, Bella." He sighed. "And I did not ruin your relationship. Think carefully. When did Rodolphus stop paying attention to you?"

"After you... the second time, at my sister's wedding-"

"No!" he roared, slamming his hand against the wall.

She flinched.

"Think, Bella! It wasn't you, it was never you! He stopped paying attention to you whenever your sister was around because he is - and always has been - in love with Narcissa. When you stopped wearing perfume and jewelry and pretty clothes, he didn't notice the difference because he didn't see you when he looked at you." Voldemort realized - with a pang of guilt - that she'd slowly stopped doing those things after their first sexual encounter, the event that her then-too-innocent mind had perceived as rape, and she'd done it to stop him from being attracted to her. Despite this realization, he continued to rant without pause. "He never saw you for yourself - he only saw what he wanted to see, only acknowledged the parts of you that were like her. He did not look at you for so much as a single second during your sister's wedding. He didn't even notice when you disappeared for half an hour during the reception. And when Lucius showed around pictures from the wedding, Rodolphus was surprised to see you there beside him in so many of them."

At Narcissa's wedding reception, the Dark Lord had caught Bellatrix alone away from the other guests and had ravished her in the garden maze at the back of the Malfoy family's property. She'd protested that time too, and he'd been careful not to muss her hair or smear her lipstick or wrinkle her dress (a filmy little thing that clung deliciously to her every curve) - exactly the things she'd asked of him when she had tried to get him to stop. She had also pleaded for him not to leave any love bites in highly visible places - which he had also taken care not to do, in accordance with her wishes. Now that she though about it, she realized that he was actually a quite considerate lover and she wondered why she hadn't ever asked him flat-out to just stop. Maybe she was actually attracted to him, on some level...?

Unlike her sister who still seemed sweet and innocent even though she was now a married woman with a child, Bellatrix had shed all vestiges of innocence and sweetness, maturing into a dark and sensual creature. And the darker and more sensual she'd become, the less time Rodolphus had spent around her...

It all made sense now. Except one thing.

"If you knew all of that all this time... if you wanted me for yourself... why did you let me marry him?" she asked, helpless tears spilling down her cheeks.

He sighed heavily. "Because I wanted you to have a respectable pureblood marriage with the man you'd had your heart set on since childhood."

She laughed bitterly. "Funny, that's what I thought I wanted, too." Suddenly she smiled through her tears. A dark, alluring, sarcastic smile. "Want to come over tonight?"

-end-

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