Naruto no Go
In which math class kills my brain and makes me think of stupid crossovers.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hikaru no Go.
Move One: Uzumaki Naruto and the damn box
D-Class missions could be fun sometimes.
Sometimes they could be hell on earth.
But most of the time, they were just plain annoying.
"No, Naruto-kun! That goes into the closet upstairs!"
Naruto grunted as he waddled around to face the client. "Fujiwara-san, you just said that ya wanted this to go in the hallway closet!" he whined as the heavy box began to weigh on his arms.
The effeminate man chuckled, tapping the ninja's head with his fan. "I changed my mind. Now, get that box up there or I won't give you all your money!"
Naruto grumbled and muttered as he slowly trailed up the stairs, cursing the black-haired man to wherever was considered hell for people like him. He gave a final huff as he dropped the heavy box on the ground in front of what he assumed to be the closet.
'Here goes nothing,' Naruto thought as he swung open the door. He looked up and noticed a wooden box teetering over the edge, almost as though it was going… to…
…fall?
And wham! The poor blond couldn't escape it. But thanks to all of his years spent with Jiraiya, he had a pretty high resistance to pain in general.
"…Urg…" he groaned as he rubbed the top of his head. Turning towards the box, he glared heatedly and plopped down in front of it, crossing his legs.
"Ya really got a number on me, ya know," Naruto slurred. "Hell, I think ya might've hit me a bit too hard, since I'm talking to a box and all." He rubbed his head again and snorted as he heard the steady tap of feet coming up the stairs.
Fujiwara-san poked his head through the hallway. "Are you okay, Naruto-kun?" he asked, his high voice sounding more amused than truly concerned. Naruto made a rumbling sound from the bottom of his throat in response. Fujiwara-san giggled and walked over to the ninja that was currently having a staring contest with the wooden box.
He smiled as he sat down on the other side of the board, his legs folded elegantly underneath him. "Do you play?" he asked, tapping the fan on his forearm.
Naruto didn't know what he meant by "play". Did he play in boxes? Occasionally; it was a pretty random and fun thing when he was bored. Did he play on boxes? Not really, but it seemed pretty interesting. Did he play with boxes? Well, yes, but that was another story.
"Sometimes, yeah," Naruto finally answered. Fujiwara-san grinned mischievously and flicked his wrist to open the fan.
"Well then, you may keep it," he said. Naruto blinked.
"Huh?" he answered intelligently. Fujiwara-san laughed lightly from the other side of the fan that covered his face. Snapping the fan closed, Fujiwara-san leaned closer to the ninja on the other side.
"Oh ho! I see it all over your face! You just wanted to beg me for such an artifact!" the nobleman purred, giggling. Naruto cocked a blond eyebrow.
'Dude, it's a frickin' box!' he thought, but settled on looking at the client like an idiot. Fujiwara-san smirked and ran his long, pale fingers over the top of the wooden box. A sad gleam came into his eyes as he retracted his hand.
"It's very special to me. But please, promise me you'll take care of it." Fujiwara-san said softly.
Naruto squinted at the box, hoping to see what was so special about it. "Uh, okay?"
Fujiwara-san smiled brightly. "Great! Now that we've established that much, you should get back to work before you're fired and get no money!"
The blond ninja stared at the effeminate man in horror. He goes through an entire awkward conversation about boxes and taking good care of them, only to be threatened and in jeopardy of losing his job?
He groaned in pain.
----+----
"Thank you for all of your help, Naruto-kun! Have fun with the board!" Fujiwara-san exclaimed happily as Naruto stood in front of him, holding the box underneath his arm. Naruto blushed bashfully as the nobleman leaned up to pat him on the head. It wasn't his fault that Fujiwara-san was so short.
"Er, yeah, thanks for the thing," Naruto replied, scratching behind his head. What board? All he got all a box, which he didn't even want! Fujiwara-san shook his head and smiled at the teenager.
"It's the least I can do for you, after overworking you so much!" Naruto smiled grimly. 'Overworking is the mild way of putting it,' he thought.
"Well, I've gotta go. Uh, bye Fujiwara-san!" Naruto said quickly as he began to walk towards the Fire Country border. Fujiwara-san smiled and bowed politely as Naruto made his departure.
"And please, call me Sai, Naruto-kun!"
Naruto turned to look at him oddly, but he was already gone.
"Well damn," he muttered in amazement. Shrugging, he turned back around and continued his journey back home. The sun was setting as he arrived in Konoha, the box still tightly clenched underneath his arms. Naruto couldn't believe he was taking the box seriously. He sighed and continued his pace home, bumping into a friend on the road.
"Oh, Naruto," Shikamaru muttered. The blond ninja nodded his head in greeting. Shikamaru's eyes wandered to the box in his arms.
"Huh. I didn't even know you played," he said, yawning at the end of the sentence.
Naruto raised an eyebrow in question. "Why is everyone asking me that today?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "You just don't look like the type."
So Naruto really didn't look like the type to play in boxes? Was he too tall, too mature-looking, too sexy? Yeah, that had to be it.
"I didn't know you found me sexy," he said aloud. Shikamaru blinked.
"I didn't either. Well, it's been a while since anyone's been interested in the game, so I'll play with you if you want," he replied, and continued walking on his way. Naruto made a face. Play with him? In the box?
"Eww," he shuddered. He couldn't have been that sexy. Or could he? It was rather possible.
And so, Naruto's trek home had ended as he unlocked the front door of his apartment and kicked off his sandals. Setting the box on the single table in the living room/dining room, the teenager shrugged off his jacket in the middle of his walk to the kitchen for his dinner. He leaned down and opened a cabinet so he could get a pot and filled it up with water.
"T-minus three minutes…" he thought aloud. The water just began to heat up idly. Naruto sighed and turned his blue eyes to the box on his table.
'What the hell could be in that box?' he thought, biting his lip in caution. Walking slowly to the box, he felt apprehensive once he stood in front of it. Sitting down in front of the damn thing, Naruto decided that the box hit him too hard on the head, for him to be acting so afraid of it.
"Now, how the hell do I open this damn thing?" the blond wondered out loud. He looked around the box and flipped it over, finding a golden snap between the two wooden sides. Flipping the snap, Naruto pushed the top of the box up.
In-between the box was a flat board of wood, with lines crisscrossing all over it. On the side was a space with two ceramic bowls sitting there innocently. Naruto furrowed his eyebrows as he looked closely at the wooden board. There were stains all over it.
"Hey, is that…?"
It looked like blood. Naruto leaned closer and sniffed carefully at the board. It smelled like blood. The teenager contemplated whether or not he should taste the board for his theory.
"Guy,"
Tasting it wouldn't be that bad. Well, it DID come from Fujiwara-san's house, so that doesn't help him.
"Hey, guy,"
Of course, tasting it would also mean that he might be forced to taste the awkward wood polish along with the blood. Wood polish isn't too fun to taste.
"Guy!"
"What?!" Naruto snapped, turning around at a breakneck speed to whatever annoying voice was calling him out. He came face to face with a young man, close enough to smack his face into the others.
Except for the part where he was transparent, there forth making the ninja lose his balance and hit the ground with an audible thud. His head couldn't take the abuse, and he remembered before blacking out the blond bangs of the boy sitting on top of the box.
----+----
"Urgh…" Naruto groaned as he opened his eyes to the offending sunlight. His head was throbbing in pain as he tried to get up. Did he get, like, super-drunk or something?
"Awake, are you?" Naruto snapped his head towards the voice, but immediately regretted it as his head screamed in pain. He gripped at his head and opened one eye at the intruder.
A teenager in rather odd clothing sat on top of the box, slouched over. He waved happily. "Hey there!" he greeted. Naruto glared.
"What the hell are you doing in my house?" he growled. The teenager chuckled.
"Heel Fido, I'm not intruding if that's what's going through that blond head of yours," he replied, crossing his legs on top of the box. Naruto opened both eyes and blinked a few times before focusing on the blond-banged teen on top of his table.
Naruto felt his eyebrows draw closer to each other. "Why can I see my couch through your body?" he asked. The teenager grinned and folded his arms behind his head.
"Ha, can't you tell? I'm the ghost of this board!" he exclaimed. Naruto nodded in understanding.
"I see," he said. "But seriously, who the hell are you?" The teenager sighed in exasperation.
"Not too bright, despite your clothes, are ya?" the teenager muttered. Naruto scowled.
"Can you really talk?" he retorted, pointing at the bright yellow shirt the other wore with a big red 5 in the middle.
The teenager shrugged. "It's not nearly as bad as you,"
Naruto snarled. "You don't wanna go there with me,"
The blond-banged boy grinned. "Oh, I went there, believe it."
The ninja growled and pulled a kunai from the pouch on his thigh, flicking his wrist expertly and sending the kunai straight through the boy. The teenager looked behind him and whistled at the knife that was stuck straight through the wall directly behind him.
"Nice aim," he commented. Naruto felt his mouth open, then close, the open again, but no words were forming.
The boy smirked. "You can't help but believe me now, can you?"
Naruto's voice finally came back to him. "What kind of bullshittin' jutsu was that?! Holy fuck, what village are you from?!" he exclaimed, rushing up to the teenager in amazement.
The boy blinked. "Village? What're you talking about? I'm from Tokyo, and what the hell is a jutsu?" he replied.
Naruto scoffed. "You've gotta be kidding me! You must be a shinobi, since you're masking your chakra at an advanced pace and you used that jutsu on me!"
The teenager glared. "I told you, I'm DEAD! I'm not a shinobi, I don't know any jutsu, and what the hell is chakra?!"
Naruto looked carefully at him, scratching his whiskers idly. Then, he shot his hand through the boy, and brought it back. He did that several times before fulfilling his curiosity.
"So you really are dead, huh?" Naruto asked as he poked at the empty space that was the teenager's belly. The boy glared before scoffing in annoyance.
"I told you that much, idiot," he muttered. Naruto made a thoughtful noise and then stood up, grabbing the wooden box and slamming it closed.
The teenager blinked. "What are you doing?"
Naruto grinned. "Giving you back to Fujiwara-san, of course! Can't have you haunting me for the rest of my days, can I?" The blond-banged boy nodded furiously.
"Yes you can!" he exclaimed. Naruto chuckled and put on his jacket. He tucked the box underneath his arm and shot off through his window.
As he hopped across the roofs, he saw the ghost trailing after him, hovering in the air. Naruto felt himself freak out. He really was a ghost!
"C'mon guy, let's work this out! I don't wanna be trapped in that board again!" the ghost whined as soon as he reached Naruto's side.
The blond ninja snorted. "Well then, you should've thought twice before trying to haunt my box!"
The teenager ghost glared. "Your box? It was my board first!"
"Well, now it's mine, so go haunt something else!"
"I can't!"
"Why not?!"
"Because that's MY board! I can only haunt that!"
"Go find some loophole then!"
"I can only pass on if you help me!"
"I AM helping you! I'm giving you back to Fujiwara-san!"
They bickered and argued like such until Naruto came to a stop in front of Fujiwara no Sai's large house. Coming to the door, the blond ninja slammed his closed fist into the door. After hearing no answer the first few minutes, he banged on the door again. The teenager ghost rolled his eyes and pointed at an envelope on the ground. Naruto glared at the dead boy and picked up the envelope, tearing it open in his hands.
"'Dearest Naruto-kun,'" he read out loud. "'If you are reading this letter, then you've probably found Hikaru. I even suppose that you came here to return the Go board, correct? Unfortunately, I can't let you do that. You promised me you'd take good care of him, so I expect for you to uphold that promise. Hikaru will teach you everything you need to know, so don't fail him, okay? Your loving Go master, Fujiwara no Sai.'"
Naruto blinked several times as he tried to process what the hell just happened. He turned to the ghost.
"So… your name's Hikaru, is it?"
EndMove1
Writing this is super fun. Naruto/Hikaru interactions are fun to think of by themselves.