Mental
Actually, I think Sir Caradoc is quite fit.
What?! He's an ass!
I'm speaking from a purely physical sense, Merlin.
Surely the fact that the man's a prat has some influence on your creepy attraction to him.
No, Merlin. I'm human, and thus have the ability to separate personality from looks when I'm bored and wish to ogle handsome men.
He kicked one of the puppies this morning, Morgana. Kicked it just because it happened to be scampering in the wrong direction.
Will you stop it? I don't care. I want nothing to do with him relationship-wise, I wish just to trace his jawline with my eyes.
That's just...
Gwen, will you please back me up here?
Gwen was blushing furiously between the two of them. Ever since Morgana and Merlin discovered each other's gifts, they had been having the oddest thought-conversations in public. She loved them both very much, would gladly lay her life down for either of them, but it was moments like these that she wished she wasn't so dear to both of them that they chose to bring her into their little magic loop.
She'd embarrassed. That means she agrees with me. Morgana smiled demurely. To all the other guests in the ball room, it looked like she was just greeting someone across the hall. But Gwen knew she was just being smug.
I don't think so. Gwen, blink once if you're on Morgana's side. Twice if you're with me on this. Merlin glanced at her, grinning as well.
Gwen pressed her mouth into a thin line and refused to do either. Instead, she stared stonily ahead, trying her best to discourage her friends' behavior. They were at a royal ball. Morgana should have been chatting with guests with her following silently. Merlin was supposed to be filling Arthur's near-empty goblet. Instead, the three of them stood together, suspiciously silent and shooting each other cryptic looks.
I wish that Gwen could do magic as well. I always have trouble reading her expressions, Morgana teased. Gwen scowled and she bit back a chuckle. See what I mean?
Oh, leave her alone. Merlin patted Gwen's shoulder affectionately. I think its sweet that she wears her heart on her sleeve.
If only the two of them could read Gwen's mind right then. They would certainly not think her sweet. Merlin and Morgana knew perfectly well that they could block her out of their mental conversations. They were blocking out everyone else in the ballroom, after all. If Gwen was so easy to read, surely they could tell that she'd had enough of their chatter. It was a shame that she didn't have the gift and couldn't scold either of them. She could hardly say anything out loud either, since it was vastly inappropriate for a handmaiden to scold her mistress. Especially in public.
It was probably okay to tell off Merlin, though.
"Will you stop?" Gwen hissed at Merlin, though she made it clear with a quick, angry look to Morgana that she was speaking to both of them. "You are both being very rude. This is a ball."
Morgana snicked softly. I promise we'll stop, Gwen, if you only just answer the question. Do you find Sir Caradoc physically attractive?
Though take into account that he's a huge git, Merlin reminded her.
Gwen sighed and glanced over at Sir Caradoc. If it would make them be quiet and do their jobs...
She blinked once.
Hah! Merlin exulted, his expression triumphant. A servant walking past jumped at his sudden, random enthusiasm and walked away even faster.
What do you mean 'hah'? One blink means she agrees with me! Morgana thought, glaring at Merlin. A nearby nobleman who looked like he'd been working up the courage to engage the lone Lady Morgana in conversation quickly changed directions. Gwen rolled her eyes, but figured it was for the best. If the man wasn't brave enough to approach a woman unless she was alone, save for her two lowly servants who barely counted as actual people to the nobles, the man was certainly not fit to speak with her mistress.
No it doesn't! Merlin argued. The two of them were completely unaware of how bizarre they were being.
"Morgana? Are you all right?" Arthur had sauntered over unnoticed by the unnervingly quiet trio. "Why do you look so angry?"
Morgana didn't even pay attention. I won!
No, I did!
Gwen cringed, starting to get a headache. Sometimes when their conversations went on too long, her head started throb a bit. She suspected it had to do with her lack of magic, that perhaps her brain was unsuited for prolonged exposure to idiocy via telepathic communication.
"Morgana? Merlin?" Arthur asked. "Gwen, what's the matter with you, now?"
"Nothing, sire," Gwen whimpered.
Sir Caradoc is an ape!
It's called rugged good looks, Merlin, and Gwen agreed with me!
She did not!
Arthur was scowling now. "What on earth - ?"
"I THINK HE'S HANDSOME, ALL RIGHT!" Gwen exploded finally, unable to take it anymore.
Morgana, Merlin, and Arthur fell silent and stared at her. As did everyone else in the ballroom as her voice echoed off the grand walls of the castle.
Gwen didn't even have a chance to enjoy the blessed silence in her head as she felt her ears heat up fiercely.
"Erm..." Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, all right, I just came to collect my manservant. You...have a good day."
He shoved his empty goblet at Merlin and left them quickly so as not to be associated with the three apparently crazy people.
Merlin and Morgana looked at her.
Wow, Gwen, I didn't know you felt so strongly.
Gwen, Sir Caradoc would be lucky to have a lovely, intelligent girl like you -
"Argh!" Gwen threw up her hands in defeat. She grabbed the goblet from Merlin and stalked off to find Arthur. Nice, blissfully ignorant, non-magical Arthur. If Merlin and Morgana wanted to mind-chat all night, they could go right ahead. She was going to do her duty. Or, rather, Merlin's duty. All the same, she was starting to realize why Uther hated sorcery so much.
Merlin and Morgana watched her go.
What's the matter with her?
I don't know, but okay Merlin, your turn. What do you think of Lady Jacquelyn?
Oh, she's lovely. No question.
But she's got that thing under her nose.
It's only on one side. If you're standing on the opposite angle...
That's nonsense.
What? Well come on, let's go find Gwen and see what she thinks!