Chapter 1

Feliciano hummed quietly to himself, beaming as he set his selection of books on the wooden checkout counter at the bookstore. They were a bit heavy for the slim male, but after training so long, the wiry man had built some definition in the muscles on his small frame.

The clerk gave him a startled gaze, adjusting her red-rimmed, rectangular glasses as if to make sure she was really looking at such a grandiose, towering stack of assorted German cookbooks. "… Are you sure you want all of these, sir?" The ginger flashed a grin and let out a small giggle. "Sì! I was going to need them at one point or another- They're for something reaaally special!"

A week later, he was daintily setting several of the books, now highlighted and marked with sticky notes, as well as numerous bags of hand-selected groceries on the marble counter of the kitchen in Ludwig's house. It was really more like their house now. After sleeping over so many times and leaving so many of his things scattered around the quaint place, it wasn't necessary for him to go home anymore. The Italian had everything in order for his big surprise: a high class, surprise dinner for the German he loved and adored so much. Feliciano sighed contently, getting to work right away, exhilaration running through his body. He was there alone, making especially sure to encourage Gilbert via forwarding emails "from Francis and Antonio," beckoning him anywhere but here to screw up his thoroughly prepared gift for the other male.

The Italian was aware that Ludwig was out as well, starting yesterday, as he had been several other times that month, drinking at the bar. The paperwork and diplomatic affairs lately had taken a toll on him mentally, and he drank his sorrows away often. Thankfully, he had prepared for the horrifying thought of the other coming back drunk by asking (very frantically numerous times, might I add) Roderich to watch over the male until he was sober again, and then bring him back the next day. The Austrian reluctantly agreed. Feli's mind began drifting back to older times, when the Holy Roman Empire had confessed his love to him, back when he was just a little micro-nation. It was an order never to mention the old existence of Holy Rome to Germany, it would infuriate his boss and create more issues than it would solve problems that he never fully understood, but that didn't mean he couldn't daydream and relive those blissful, carefree moments of their childhood. There was a push broom in the German's closet that Ludwig swore he never bought, and Feli's cheeks turned a bright shade of red as he thought of its presence.

"I promise, I'll never stop loving you, amore," He whispered softly aloud, blinking back a few tears as he preheated the oven and glanced at the first of the instructions for the main course…

*~• A few hours later... •~*

Ludwig leaned his head against the window of the cab, his brows furrowed into a furious glare. All he wished was to have solitude and the permission to do something against the rules, just once in his life. In that moment, Roderich, of all people, showed up, screwing up everything. By that point, the well-built man had drunken himself to unconsciousness, suffering from a mild case of alcohol poisoning. It wouldn't kill him, because he wasn't human, so he was apathetic to the thought, still too drunk out of his mind to see reason.

First it was just pity drinking spurred by his political issues, then it had been a contest between him and some of the more… enthusiastic beer drinking men. From there it became a dare to himself, to see how long it took before he could get beer to turn out the lights.

Appalled, Roderich took him back to his house and cleaned him up, but the aftermath when the blonde woke, drunk and hung over at once, was a revived spirit from the World Wars, his personality bending to a crueler side of him that was initially thought to be no longer existent. The brunet, aware of the reasons why Ludwig could get unstable, did everything he could to prevent any more harm, but to no avail. After a verbal skirmish, leaving both hotheads so very offended, Ludwig left the house with a slam of the door, hailing a cab to go home and sleep the rest of the beer off; what a wonderful way to celebrate his birthday.

Ludwig stuffed a crumpled wad of bills in the driver's face, scoffing at him as he tried to count it. "Trust me, arschloch, it's more than enough," He spat, his darkened blue hues direct and hostile before he turned to saunter into the house, stumbling several times along the way. Huffing angrily, he cursed several more times as he fumbled with the doorknob, opening it and slamming it as well.

Confused, as well as dazed, he saw that the lights were left on, and what should have been an enticing odor filled the air. He put his coat away before venturing into the kitchen to investigate, leading to him discovering the scene in the dining room, stupefied by what laid on the table before him.

Feliciano woke to the sound of the door, glee filling him. He slipped on a robe and slippers, dashing down the stairs, finding his dear ally gazing, almost mystified by the surprise. It was awfully late to be eating, but he had fallen asleep after getting everything ready, and Ludwig hadn't arrived any sooner. Better now than never!

"Happy birthday Luddy!" He called out, tilting his head in a cutesy manner. On the table lay Gaisburger Marsch, a famous German stew made of meat, potatoes and several kinds of vegetables. Along with it was a side of German prepared pasta, sauerkraut, and a German chocolate cake, all of the food completely homemade. Even the noodles had been made from scratch.

"Do you like it?" An anticipating, amber eyed Italian awaited the reaction from the other, who blinked, trying to say something without coming off too rude. Even in this state, he wasn't a complete jerk.

"It''s… very nice," He started, groaning as his stomach churned from the strong smell of food. "It's just… 'M not very hungry right now…" A small pout came over the stubborn ginger, his auburn curl coiled around tighter than usual.

"But Luddy, you've been gone for two whole days!" He whined. "Don't you want to at least try it? It's your birthday! I even put up a banner in the living room and everything, it will be ruined if you don't try it!" Feli tugged at the taller male's arm, continuing to explain himself.

Ludwig pulled away, his reaction a bit sharper than he thought it would be. "Scheisse," He muttered, not wanting to hurt the Italian man. "I said nein! My stomach, I'm going to be sick if I stay in here…" Groaning again, the German retreated to the living room, curling up on the couch.

A pang hit Feli in the gut, who followed after with concern written all over his features.

"Ludwig," He said in a more serious tone, "… Are you drunk?" The signs were all there, but before the slender male had been too groggy to notice. Ludwig growled, shaking his head, which only made his ally more insistent on checking, crawling onto the couch with him and grabbing his arm again.

"Feli, stop it!" He snapped in a sharp tone. "I'm not drunk! Just leave me the hell alone!" Tears pricked his eyes.

"B-but Ludwig… I wanted your birthday to be special… I don't want you to be all alone anymore! You don't have to torture yourself, please, listen to me!"

"You don't know what you're saying. I don't want to listen to you, and I'm not hungry," The blonde retorted, crossing his arms firmly over his chest. The Italian let out a shaky breath, deciding that maybe he should have told the whole story to begin with.

"Alright, I'll tell you the truth. This was all to-a impress you. I finally did it right for once! I-a didn't mess it up, Luddy. I wanted it to be perfect, just for you because… I love you! I want you! I… I've known ever-a since the first day we met!" He cried out, passion filling his words. "We were always supposed to be together, I just know-"

Laughter filled the air, cutting off his speech. He gazed up from where he was staring at the ground, confused and taken aback by the way that he was chuckling. There was something terrifying and chilling about his voice, something that had never been a part of Holy Rome's. He shivered, trembling nervously as it continued on for a good couple of seconds.

"You aren't perfect, Feli. How long did it take you to make all of this? I haven't even tasted the food, but I doubt there's anything wrong with it, because it's one of the few things you're good at," He slurred on, shaking his head at all the drama. He was so exhausted, all he wanted was to fall asleep, not continue this miserable conversation. His ears were ringing and his mind was numb.

"That's not true! I…" He heard himself sniffling, Feli wiping his eyes quickly before the tears could spill down his cheeks.

"If you had used your head, we could have won the wars. I could have reigned over, taught that piece of scheisse Francis a lesson he would never forget. You were the weak link. Mussolini was a dummkopf!" His voice continued to rise. "You were mass producing white flags, and I paid the punishment! Reparations, all I got! You can't fight and you can't stick up for yourself, I constantly save your ass before the others can fuck you to death! Are you saying I should fall in love with any of that?" Ludwig hiccupped, his face flushed as he slumped against the couch, mumbling more curses, a smirk on his face.

By now Feliciano was sobbing, his sobs so frequent they didn't make any noise anymore. He turned away, letting out a pained whimper, his forearm covering his eyes as tears pattered onto the wooden planks of the floor, his head sore from the pressure throbbing inside of it. It was all true. He never carried his weight, never.

"I- I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" He sobbed, turning to flee. Flight was his first instinct, and all he wanted right now was to leave so that way nobody could hear his cries. The door slammed again before a wail escaped the shaking man, sprawling against the fence of their backyard for a moment as more pain racked his being. After calming down a bit, tears flooding down his face, he nimbly climbed the fence, panting as he dashed down the alley, running anywhere but back to Ludwig. He should have known that the German would never, ever settle for someone like him. Germany wasn't Holy Rome. Not now, not ever.

[[~To be continued...~]]

((Hey everyone, it's Fusion K! Please let me know what you thought of Chapter 1! Chapter 2 will be out in a few days, when we find out what will happen to our two darling nations, Ludwig, and Feliciano. Was the end suspenseful enough for ya? I'm super excited to be writing, this is my very first fanfiction. Enjoy and thank you for reading the first chapter!))