Mary Morstan… Mary Watson to be fair. I both love and hate having her in my life. Why, do you ask? I have my reasons. And those reasons I will never be able to tell anyone. Not even John. Especially John.

I remember seeing her for the first time. At the time I didn't really bother with her. My main concern was John. To finally show him I was still alive and what his response would be. I think it was wrong of me to think that he would welcome me back with a hug and a pat on the back right away though. I guess I was a bit too optimistic.

"Oh no! You're ..."

"Oh yes."

"Oh, my God."

" Not quite."

" You died. You jumped off a roof."

" No."

" You're dead!"

"No. I'm quite sure. I checked. Excuse me."

"Oh my God, oh my God. Do you have any idea what you've done to him?"

The first thing I remember absently thinking about her was that she was blonde. John usually dated brunettes. She was attractive though. Blue eyes, delicate features, appealing voice… And apparently worried about John, which I was glad for. That meant that she cared for him.

After the near-strangulation we were asked to leave the restaurant. I was a bit surprised that John took her with us when we went to the diner and asked me to explain everything. I figured that they were in a pretty serious relationship then.

"Oh, he would have needed a confidant ..."

"Mm-hm."

Okay it seemed that she was warming up to me. I was a bit surprised that she understood and tried to help me. I was grateful for that. John wasn't exactly making this any easier. Although I don't think she really appreciated me pointing out the fact that she didn't like his moustache either. One broken nose later and John was still cross with me.

"I don't understand. I said I'm sorry. Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

"Gosh. You don't know anything about human nature, do you?"

"Mmm, nature? No. Human? ... No."

"I'll talk him round."

"You will?"

"Oh yeah."

That took me slightly off guard. I wasn't expecting it and that intrigued me. Not many people can do that. I think my attraction started there even though I hadn't realized it at the time. I thought that I just wanted to like her because of John. Although I have to admit I didn't really try to do that in the past.

"only child linguist Clever part time nurse Shortsighted Guardian Bakes Own Bread Disillusioned Cat Lover Romantic Appendix Scar Lib Dem Secret Tattoo Size 12 Liar"

In hindsight I should've paid more attention to my deductions. And I'm not just referring to the fact that she put a bullet in me. But like I said, my attraction made me blind to these things. It made me blind to a lot of things.

The next night, as I was getting ready to eat my fish 'n chips, my mind went to Mary and what had happened the previous evening. Surely she would be able to make John see reason? She seemed confident enough. I just wanted things to be like they used to. Suddenly I heard a commotion downstairs.

"Mary? What's wrong?"

"Someone sent me this. At first I thought it was just a Bible thing, you know, spam, but it's not. It's a skip-code."

I looked at her closely. A skip-code? She really was clever I had to give her that. Once again I wasn't focusing on how she knew that. I was too busy being stumped over the fact that she just did. I tried focusing on what she was trying to tell me.

Save souls now!

John or James Watson?

"First word, then every third. Save ... John ... Watson."

Saint JamesThe Less

"Now!"

"Where are we going?"

I don't think I've felt this scared in a while. Afraid that I wasn't going to figure it out or that we weren't going to make it in time. I had spent three years away from John and I wasn't ready yet to lose him again so soon. Having said that, I was very much aware of Mary's arms around me and her body pressed against my back. It was distracting to say the least. It's not something you need when driving a motorcycle for the first time. But yet again, I dismissed it. It was only later that it started to make sense to me.

Finally it seemed that things were working out. John had finally forgiven me after a slight… persuasion from my side. And it seemed that Mary was here to stay. Which I didn't have a problem with at all.

"You will be there, Sherlock?"

"Weddings – not really my thing" I said, winking to let her know I was joking. It was true, but of course I wasn't about to miss it. The fact that Mary and I got along so well was something I was very grateful for. There aren't many people with whom I can manage that.

I wish things could've stayed that way. I wish that my feelings for her hadn't grown with time. How do you fall out of love with your best friend's wife?