Ok so this is going to be multi-chapter. Not sure where its going but i intend on have violent scenes and reid struggling with drugs, whether i let him get addicted, is a whole different question!

Please please PLEASE review! :) Need to know whether its worth carrying on and if people are interested to see where im heading with it, if i have any spelling mistakes please tell me but i did spell check it.

Disclaimer: i dont own criminal minds or spencer reid! or any of the team or their jet :')

Reid awoke with a yelp that seemed to echo through his compact bedroom, the moonlight shined on his face as he realized it wasn't real. the nightmare had been horrific this time, and he knew it meant a hard case was coming up, it was almost as if his mind could sense the start of a bad case before it had even came, he always got the recurring nightmare of, well.. all his nightmares. In one part of the dream he was in Georgia tied to a chair and having his feet beaten, it would change and he would be trying to apply pressure to Nathans wrists, again it would change and change until every case that has hurt him has played and then he would awake just as the diladuid was being injected.

He got up out of his bed which was now damp from sweat and made his way to the bathroom, standing in front of the basin he splashed cold water over his face until finally he felt better but yet he was still exhausted, you never really got enough sleep working at the BAU. As he got back into his bed he wondered what the case would be like and how horrific it would be, the only good thing was that even if it was bad, he had his team to rely on.

When Reid next awoke the sun was shining through his window, and his alarm was going off next to his bed, groaning he turned over to click snooze when he realized it was 11am. Shit! He slammed his hand down onto the alarm before running into the bathroom to shower and get changed, it took him 15 minutes, new record he thought in his hast. He ran down his apartment block stairs and climbed into his car, preying that the traffic would be light.

As he flew up the stairs and stepped into the elevator he was greeted by unsmiling faces, that was something else you saw a lot at the FBI headquarters, nobody seemed to be happy being here, yet none of them chose to leave.
As he exited the elevator he ran into Hotch, who stared at him unhappily.
'Reid where the hell have you been?'
'I'm really sorry Hotch i slept through my alarm, did i miss anything?'
'Yes. You did. Go grab your go-bag, wheels up in 10, we'll brief you on the plane.'

It was a chilly Saturday morning as they boarded the jet, the team looked especially unhappy today, this must be the bad case, Reid thought glumly to himself before boarding and finding his usual seat.

'Ok, JJ would you like to brief Reid on our current case?' Hotch said, JJ's face looked a little uneasy before nodding and turning her body towards Reids, He noticed that the team all turned their heads a little to watch, which was peculiar because they'd already been briefed, a sense of nerves erupted in the pit of Reids stomach as he realized he would not like this case.
'Five women in the past 5 months in Chicago. have been kidnapped at the beginning of each month, they have been kept till the end of the month when they were dumped in an alley. The women were tortured, raped, abused, and..' JJ paused and fiddled with her fingers before continuing. 'drugged with diladuid' Reids mind ached at the thought, jealously and longing filled his mind and he composed himself quickly, now was not a good time to lose composure in front of profilers. 'cause of death?' he asked, keeping his voice stern and brisk. 'Stress to body.' JJ answered quietly. 'They were injected with diladuid twice a day everyday for the whole month, and 3 days before the end of the month they were forced to quit cold turkey, their body couldn't handle it and the organs shut down as the body couldn't cope from the withdrawal. The morgue said it must have been a painful experience and their last few days were agonizing.' Reid could sympathise with how the women felt in a way, when he had been recovering from his own demons and addiction with diladuid, it had been an agonizing few days, and many time he wished death would simply take him and he wouldn't have to fight the urges that would crawl through his body and into every single nerve, it was painful and you felt pitiful. He realized he had been staring off and the teams worried glances began profiling him, he quickly focused.'Why have we only been called in now?' Reid asked, trying to avoid the gazes on him.
'The officers thought they were just drug addicts who didn't get their fix fast enough, they failed to notice the signs of torture, apparently.' Typical, thought Reid. Why do people label drug addicts with such harshness, how can they not realize what its actually like to be addicted?

The jet fell silent, and it made Reid feel uncomfortable, so he took an easy option and fell asleep, but even in his dreams he was taunted by the drug.

'Reid, wake up, we're landing.' Morgans voice said audibly, Reid stirred and blinked a few times, gathering himself before sitting upright and smiling at Morgan before remembering the case, his stomach fell and he got up.

As they entered the police station they got to work quickly, and by the end of the day they had a working profile of the person responsible.

Hotch cleared his throat before letting his gaze wander over the officers infront of him. 'The unsub we're looking for is a male, in his 30's, well built and unemployed, we believe he is probably a drug addict himself, and the drug he is addicted too is most likely diladuid or narcotics in general, he is killing these women because he is ashamed of his own addiction and is unwilling to face it.' Hotch stepped back and let morgan continue.

'He is making these women addicted to it as well so when he tortures them he feels as if he is hurting the very thing his addicted too, and by making them quit cold turkey he is trying to regain control over his addiction, but as the women die by the end of the month he realizes he has failed, and repeats the process. He will not stop this ritual until he is caught.' Morgan stepped back, and Prentiss stood forward.

'It is likely that the man is now withdrawn and irritable, he has probably pushed everybody away from him because of his addiction and someone will remember him, whether it be a friend or his dealer, he is only truely happy when he is high.' She nodded and half smiled at the officers and let Reid finish up.

Reid stepped forward and uncomfortably looked around before letting his mind wander into the realms of statistics and facts and began. 'It is highly possible he suffered a traumatic event which led him too taking narcotics as a way of escaping, 20% of people who go through a traumatic, life-altering event turn to drugs and it will not be easy to catch him, he will argue and be twitchy, He believes nobody understands him and nobody wants to help him except for the narcotics.' Reid nodded and looked at Hotch, who was eyeing him up and obviously profiling his mental state, luckily years of poker games had given him an effective poker face, which he quickly put on, and hotchs gaze fell off him, and Hotch ended the conference.
'Thats all we have right now, we suggest interviewing dealers on the streets and looking for people with minor offences involving drug possession or minor assault, thank you.' Hotch nodded at the officers, who quickly dispersed.

The team retreated back into the conference room in the station as the officers dispersed, Reid stared at the ground and thought about what he had said, and inevitably his mind wandered to Hankel and..
'You ok Reid?' Morgan asked, staring at his teammate with a worried look plastered on his face.
'Yeh, im fine, just worried about the mans newest victim.' Reid replied, trying to act as casual as possible.
Morgan stared at him for a moment, before accepting this and grabbing his bag.

As Reid entered the hotel room after finishing the first day he felt exhausted, even more so then he thought was possible. The thought of diladuid coursed through his mind, sending himself into a turmoil. He sat on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands and tried to breath in and out at a regular pace, eventually, he dosed off into a restless sleep and immediately he was dreaming.
'tell me it doesn't help?' and as Reid tried to reply he realized his mouth had been sewn shut, and he panicked and squirmed and tried to push away the needle but it did no good because Tobias lined up the needle with Reids bulging blue vein and pushed the needle in, the sting felt uncomfortable but at the same time relieving on Reids arm, and as he pushed down and released the liquid into Reids body, Reid felt a sense of relief. It does help, he thought. It helps more than they could ever know.
He awoke with a start, his heart pounding audibly in his chest, he itched his arm incessantly and as he sat up, the cravings hit him like a bulldozer, they were as bad as before, the nausea, the cramps.. it was endless, and he lay back down, curled into the fetal position and tried to forget about his dream but the images floated in his mind, of a needle that held the answers and the end, but yet he craved it so badly, this case was awakening it, but he knew if Hotch knew he would be sent home from the case, and that thought scared him more. Eventually, he drifted back to sleep.

He awoke to someone slamming on his hotel door, groaning he got up and answered it.
'Reid. Really? Have you only just woke up? Get changed, we've got a case.' Morgan was looking down the hallways as he spoke, but as he turned to look at Reid, concern replaced his annoyance. 'Reid.. are you ok?' he asked hesitantly, he knew the case would be hard on Reid but he didn't expect him to look so.. dead. Reids eyes were drained of any brightness he had the day before, his hair was stuck to his face and beads of sweat dripped down his forehead, he looked pale and forlorn and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked sick.
'I'm fine Morgan, who are you? my mother?' Reid snapped back, he was surprised by his own response, he hadn't even meant to say it but his mouth had spoke without his brain catching up with it, he immediately regretted what he said but made no effort to apologize, what was the point?
'Sorry man, you just.. never mind. Ill meet you downstairs in 10 minutes, ok?' Morgan gave him the once over one more time before walking down the hallway, leaving Reid in the doorway of his hotel room.

As the team arrived at the station, yawning, they were aware of the chief standing, looking worried and agitated. 'What took you all so long?' He questioned, fidgeting on the spot and fiddling with a white package in his hand.
Choosing to ignore the outburst, Hotch glanced at the package and a bad feeling overcame him. 'What's in the package?' Hotch questioned the man, giving him a stern look that meant he was now occupied with the case and only the case.
'You tell me, it was addressed to Dr. Spencer Reid' he nodded towards Reid, who stood at the back trying to ignore the waves of sickness that kept overcoming him, it was like he was enduring withdrawals all over again, and was only vaguely aware of his name being said, he didn't really care.
The chief walked over to Reid and gave him the package before walking into the station and getting back to work, holding the white package in his hands, Reid felt uneasy as if it was a trap of some sort, but what did he have to loose after the night he had gone through? He looked up at his team members before opening the white package and pulling out the letter inside.

The team watched as Reids eyes scanned the paper for a fraction of a second and his face paled even more, as if it was possible, and he looked at the bottom of the package before dropping it all together and backing away, as if some sort of snake was inside. Hotch stepped forward, giving Reid a questionable glance and picked up the letter and read it aloud.

'I figured you might want to share some diladuid with me, doctor Reid?' and then he noticed a vial of clear liquid roll out of the package on the floor, as he glanced back up at Reid, Reid ran from the room and into the cold air outside.