Anywhere

Faster.

Edmund rubbed the horse's neck, egging Phillip to go faster. He had to get away from it all…he couldn't face any of it anymore. Make the pain go away, he silently begged Aslan.

His black curls swept back as Phillip galloped into the darkness of the woods. Voices rang out behind him, but soon faded as the woods became denser and denser. Farther and farther they went, not stopping to glance behind. After a couple of miles, Edmund finally craned his neck around to see. No one was there. He patted the horse's sweating flank and sighed.

"That's good, Phillip."

Phillip snorted in agreement, slowing to a walk. "What is bothering you, King Edmund, sir?"

The boy stared into the darkness. How could he explain the feeling? It was like pain, loneliness, heartbreak, and so many more emotions in one…

"I don't know, Phillip…I don't know. That's why I came out here, so I could think."

"Well, you had best hurry thinking so that all of Cair Paravel doesn't have to come and find you," Phillip grumbled. Once Edmund dismounted, the horse wandered off several yards to munch on the lush grass.

Edmund's brown eyes closed. It probably wasn't a good idea to leave in the middle of the night, but he never had any time to himself in the daytime. Occasionally, he could sneak off to the library or the stables when everyone was busy kissing up to his brother, High King Peter, but there was always someone to find him and bring him back to his royal duties.

He knew that all of Narnia, his family, and Aslan had forgiven him already, but it still didn't feel right. The feeling of not belonging had stuck with him for the past 3 years, ever since the coronation ceremony. He could pretend nothing was bothering him, but Edmund knew that inside, he was never at peace with himself.

Groaning, he leaned against the oak tree. Everyone knew that he had betrayed Narnia, but yet they had forgiven him. But he hadn't forgiven himself. What can you do to right a wrong?

Every day he had to see the sympathetic eyes of Susan and Peter. They knew that even if he was King Edmund the Just, there was something bothering him about being King. Edmund felt like he was alone, because of that. Lucy would stare at him with pleading eyes, begging him to go and play with him. Telling her that he didn't feel like it made him feel wretched inside, watching her dejected figure leave. No one knew what was bothering him.

He didn't know how to fix it.

Edmund let his head drop into his hands with a defeated sigh. Sometimes he wondered if he really belonged here, after the mess he had caused. He would do anything to be in Narnia, for Narnia. He wanted to stay in Narnia.

Yet, he wanted to be anywhere but Narnia.

Anywhere but here.

Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia, or any of the characters. I only wish. :P

First fanfic ever! Please review: comments, suggestions, flames – everything is appreciated. I may continue it into a real fanfic, but we'll see how it goes. (;