A/N: I don't own Spring Awakening
I couldn't bare it, watching my little boy, crying, pleading for it to stop. I couldn't do it "Stop it." I yelled.
"Stop? What was that, you get out, go to the kitchen where you belong woman."
"Yet another thing you have to learn boy."
The little blonde boy stood trembling tears pouring done his face as he watched his mother exited the room, his last hope gone.
"Daddy...please"
"Stop your whining" Herr Rilow screamed hitting his son on the back of his head.
Hanschen let out a high wail as his fathers hand came into contact with his head. The person who was supposed to love and protect him was causing him such pain, such agony. He assured himself he would never let anyone have control over him like his father did. Ever. He would be in control, and never show anyone the tears, so no one would hurt him. He would be safe. He ran up to his room and let the tears poor down; the only place they were aloud to grace was the pillow. No where else. Not at school, not at church, not in living room, kitchen or any where other then the pillow. Where no one could see. Not a single soul.
It stayed that way for a long time. He was in control, until something inside him started.... stirring, a want, a need, a yearning. And for what? A tiny, innocent boy. The Robel boy....Ernst. Hanschen didn't know why, but he knew he wanted him. But he also knew he had to keep the same rules as he had always had. He wouldn't let him in; he wouldn't let him know he cared. He wouldn't give him that power; he needed the power for himself.
And everything was fine, everyone was still locked out, even his lover, no one knew him and he liked it that way. Until one day things at home got really bad and he couldn't hold it together he couldn't hold it in. Everything all at once, the emotions all came pouring out. His pillow was to far away and his father's hand was too close. So he ran, he let his feet take him where they may. They took him down the winding dirt path all the way to the vine yard. All the way to Ernst, sitting ever so innocently under their tree.
Ernst immediately jumped to his feet, hearing his cries. He engulfed him in a hug, one that felt like it was never going to end. And they sank to the ground. Tears and words just leaving Hanschen, he was giving all his power away in one breath....it was gone...just like that. Through the muffled sobs, came an I love you, delivered right into Ernst blazer.
"You love me Hanschen?" He asked...pulling away from his lover to look into his tearful eyes.
"Yes....Ernst...of course I do! Like I have never loved another....you know me better then I know myself. Ernst, I love you." He said right into his eyes...looking down into his soul.
Ernst's heart flutter and pounded in his chest. The feeling he was experiencing was like no other. The two boys lay entangled in each other until the sun rose the next morning. Neither of them wanting to move in fear of what would come when they arrived home. Never wanting to loss the amazing mixed emotions they were feeling at that moment. But slowly they rose from the ground, embarrassed one last time and parted with a mere few words I love you.
A/N: I don't know how I feel about this story, but I might continue on with it if people are interested in reading it. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!
-Ali