I'm bored and got this idea for a one shot so I'm going to write it.
I don't own Ouran. I wish I owned the twins.
Kaoru's POV
I always wondered what would happen if I told him. All throughout my life I had told Hikaru that I loved him. But that was in a different way than it is now. My feelings changed, and I thought it would soon become the death of me. I never knew why, but it was the one question I asked myself every morning and saw him sleeping beside me.
There were some times where I just wished the feeling would go away. That everything would go back to normal. That the things I was feeling was just a phase. Nothing harmless. But I never knew that this thing called love could hurt so much. I was not as strong as Hikaru saw me, he didn't know that it was just a mask to cover up everything that I was forever hiding.
But then there were some times where I forgot what others would say about us. I would forget that the rest of the world existed, and there was only me and Hikaru left. No one to tell us it's wrong and disgusting. More importantly, there would be no one to try to tear us apart. I would have rather never told him that I loved him in a different way than him being taken away from me forever.
"What if I told you?" I mumbled to myself while staring at the board in front of the class.
"Hey," Hikaru kicked my leg lightly, getting my attention. I snapped out of what was once a heavy daydream.
"Hmm," I answered, not wanting to get caught talking in the middle of class like we always do.
"Are you ok?" Hikaru whispered, tilting his head a little.
"Yeah, why?" I was thankful we were in the back of the classroom.
"What'd you say to yourself?" Hikaru asked, mentioning earlier. It struck me that I had been thinking out loud.
"I said that out loud?" I asked myself, not really meaning to, but meaning to. I wasn't right still, there was something weird going around inside of me.
"Yeah, what was it?" Hikaru leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.
"Tell you later," I told him, turning back to the rest of the class. I knew that next time I fell into a strange daydream, to make sure I didn't say anything out loud.
"Ok," Hikaru said slowly, as if almost hurt. We were in class, and I didn't want to confess to him now. I didn't even know if I would ever confess my love for him. I looked over at him, seeing he was facing the front of the class, but didn't seem like he was paying attention. He had a glassy look in his eyes, like he was in a deep daydream. But there was something else about his eyes that couldn't be described in any word but strange.
A few hours later, I was lying on the couch inside the Host Club and for the first time today, I was left alone to think. I always wondered what it would feel like to be buried alive, and now I knew. All these feelings hovering above and inside me, feelings that I was afraid to feel and didn't want to. But somehow, it felt okay, even though I knew it wasn't. I was afraid that these emotions and urges I had were going to make me weak, helpless, maybe even a coward.
But I adored him. I loved him. Everything about him was perfect, even though we were twins there was so much that we had that was different. Hikaru was always the one that was there to protect me and try his best to make sure he keeps me safe. What I was afraid of if that there were some things that he couldn't protect me from.
"Kaoru?" Hikaru sat on the floor in front of me, looking at me face to face. I turned on my side to face him and smiled. I let him rest his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "You okay?" Hikaru asked obviously concerned.
"I'm fine," I assured him. I placed my hand over his, making him smile slightly. "No, really I am," I said just in case he asked again because I knew he would.
"Ready?" Hikaru asked, starting to get up. I nodded, even though I really wasn't.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I sighed, sitting up and letting Hikaru sit besides me. For once I was unsure of what to do. I had to touch him though, but I knew that would make me hurt even more. The sooner the Host Club was over, the sooner I could go home.
"Hikaru, you know I don't like it when you tell that story," I looked away shyly from him in our act mode. The girls were all dreamy eyed and doing what girls do.
"I'm sorry Kaoru, you were just so vulnerable," Hikaru wrapped me in his arms, almost kissing me. I did feel vulnerable. I hoped that this would be over soon. I saw that the girls were close to fainting, like usual.
"But...uh," I stuttered, that not being part of the script. I panicked, not knowing what to say or do.
"You're so adorable, you can't even speak," Hikaru cupped my cheek in his hand. I looked down blushing, but actually blushing. I was glad that he was able to save me from complete embarrassment.
"Oh Hikaru," I sighed uncomfortable with the position I was in, finally making the guests start screaming. After a few minutes, all the guests had left and I was gathering my books together so I could leave. I gasped, feeling Hikaru wrap his arms around my waist from behind me.
"What happened to you today? You forgot the script," Hikaru asked, resting his head on my shoulder. I liked the position we were in. If only it could stay like that.
"I'm sorry, I just forgot," I looked down at the floor, not wanting the conversation to continue.
"It's okay, I saved you, don't worry about it," Hikaru let go of me, taking his bag and grabbed my hand, leading me out.
Hikaru held my hand the whole way home, which was not unusual. I opened the door to our bedroom and let Hikaru in, dropping my bag on the floor with Hikaru doing the same. I took my shoes and blazer off and crawled into bed. It was the only thing I wanted to do all day, and it felt good to finally do nothing.
"Kaoru?" Hikaru did the same and crawled into bed with me, catching me in a tight embrace. I snuggled into his chest, hoping he wouldn't say a word and just hold me. "What's wrong Kaoru?" Hikaru cupped my face like he did in the club, making me look at him.
"Nothing, just tired," I whispered, opening and closing my eyes slowly until my eyes stayed shut. Hikaru continued to caress my cheek lovingly, in a way he usually wouldn't.
"Sleep, baby brother," Hikaru whispered lightly and kissed my forehead. I felt him let go of me and leave the room, hearing the door closing the door behind him.
"Hikaru," I whimpered, turning to face the wall. I felt my eyes water until tears started falling down my face. My heart hurt. Hikaru has always shown that he loved me, but I loved him even more than what he thought. I hugged Hikaru's pillow, breathing in his scent. I let quiet little sobs escape from my lips, hoping he wouldn't walk in on me crying. After a little while of crying I stopped, continuing to breath in his scent, which was starting to make me calm again. His scent was comforting, it felt like he was here with me even though he wasn't. Soon after, I started to fall asleep, and let myself fall into the deep sleep.
"Hikaru! Hikaru!" I screamed for my brother, but there was no reply. I couldn't have lost him, but he wasn't here. I wouldn't believe what others had told me. Hikaru wasn't gone, he just couldn't be. He wouldn't leave me like that. He promised! He promised me ever since we were little that we would never be apart. That he would never leave me. But he was gone, he wasn't by my side. He wasn't there with me. Tears poured from my eyes that I couldn't control.
"He's dead, he's gone, face it bitch he's never coming back for you," the voices in my head were pounding and overwhelming me. That is until I completely died on the inside. I laid down on the ground, my last breath leaving my lips.
"Kaoru, please, please wake up!" I woke up to Hikaru trying to shake me awake, tears in his eyes. I tried to sit up, but I felt like I was frozen, I couldn't move.
"Hikaru," I started to cry again, this time of relief. It was only a dream, he never left me. He was here alive and beside me.
"Oh my god," Hikaru gathered me up and held me tightly. I grabbed onto his shirt, afraid to let go. I could hear him quietly crying as I was doing the same.
"What did I do?" I asked quietly, afraid of hearing my own voice. What did I do to make Hikaru so worked up that he started to cry? Hikaru never cried.
"You were screaming...you scared me so much," Hikaru took my face in his hands and wiped my tears away, his own tears staining his cheeks and his eyes were completely red.
"I'm sorry," I felt like I was choking and there was nothing I could do about it. Hikaru grabbed me and held me even tighter.
"No...no, it's not your fault, don't do that to yourself," Hikaru told me, running his fingers through my hair.
"Yes, it is," I argued quietly. It was my fault though. I had to tell him, or I would have those dreams for as long as I lived.
"No, it's not...is there a reason this happened?" Hikaru looked into my eyes. His eyes clearly telling me that he was scared and hurt.
"Umm...yeah," I nodded, staring at the wall since I was scared to look him in the eyes.
"What's wrong Kaoru?" Hikaru whispered to me, trying his best to sound loving and not scared, but he failed by a lot.
"I...I...I can't," I looked down at my hands again, tears staring to form in my eyes again.
"Yes, you can," Hikaru took my hands in his, trying to convince me to make the confession that would change my life forever.
"No," I sobbed.
"Please...I love you Kaoru, please," Hikaru begged me, his words making my heart ache for him.
"I love you," I looked up at him. He looked confused at first, but I thought he had an idea of what I was trying to say. "I love you more than I should, a romantic way Hikaru," I pried my hands away from his, ready for his reaction.
"I love you too...romantically I mean," Hikaru reached for my hands again, but I moved away from him.
"What?" I whimpered, not believing what I was hearing.
"Kaoru...please, let me," Hikaru reached for my hands once more, but this time I let him take my hands. I felt his hands shaking, but he pulled me to him. I curled up into his chest and continued to cry.
"You love me?" I asked, my voice coming out shaky.
"I love you to death," Hikaru told me, all his love pouring out into his voice.
"I love you," I sighed, my tears stopped flowing.
"Shhh," Hikaru pushed me down so I was lying on the bed again, tucking me and himself in. "I'm gonna tell you a story okay?" Hikaru locked his fingers with mine. I nodded. "Once upon a time, there were two little boys who stayed together no matter what," Hikaru started.
"Us?" I asked, my eyes widening.
"Yes, us. Now they grew up together, but when they turned into teenagers something about them changed. A few years later, they started to have feelings for each other, and now they confessed their love, knowing that no one would separate them. Ever," Hikaru leaned in connecting our lips for the first time.
His lips were soft, and he was gentle, as if he was afraid that he would hurt me. I linked my arms around his neck, pulling him on top of me. Hikaru took my face in his hands, bringing my lips even closer to his. Our lips moved perfectly, his lips caressing mine. My heart skipped a beat every time his lips came into contact with mine. I felt Hikaru brush his tongue between my lips begging for entrance. I slowly opened my mouth and let his tongue lock with mine. My heart was racing, yet I felt relaxed at the same time. I felt Hikaru lightly suck and bite at my bottom lip before letting go and looking me in the eyes.
"Please let me love you," Hikaru begged with hope in his voice.
"As long as you let me love you too," I smiled. Hikaru and I moved into a more comfortable position so I was cuddled up in his arms and we were in a peaceful state.
As long as he let me love him, I would let him love me. Who would care who loves who besides us? We didn't care what society had to say. All that mattered was that we were happy with each other and in each other's arms. I had a feeling that our fairytale was only the beginning of something special.