A/N Hey! New one shot! I know eeeep so this idea had been in my head for so long there is one, one shot where is Rory telling Lorelai why she went back to Yale which I read whilst writing this one looking for inspiration, but I picture it a little more dramatic. So this is set when Logan gets back from Costa Rica but this time he doesn't get into an accident.
I always felt when I watched that it would have been different if Logan hadn't gotten hurt, that Rory would have still been angry with him, not saying she didn't love him, but I think the main reason she completely forgave him was because he got hurt. So any way here it is!
Disclaimer: I know nothing; I just like to play around with the characters for my own enjoyment!
UPDATE: LOOK AT AUTHORS NOTE BELOW
Rory sat tensely on the couch in her grandmother's sitting room looking down intently into her glass. Logan, her boyfriend, sat next to her, his eyes fixed on a point on the carpet, hands tense clasped in his lap. Rory tapped her glass anxiously, sending constant looks over at the door, praying her mom would get there as fast as possible. Emily had invitedLoganalong that evening for Friday night dinner; he had got home from his life and death brigade stunt two days ago and things were still tense between the couple.
"Rory, Logan, How lovely you could make it on such short notice. It's a shame your grandfather is away on business," Emily walked in the room a smile across her face oblivious to the awkwardness between the two. She opened her mouth to say more but the front doorbell rang before she could; Rory sighed, inwardly relived, saved by the bell. Rory sprang up and made for the door, Emily frowned and spoke up before she could get any further. "Rory, what are you doing? Let Nancy get it. It's what she's paid for after all," Emily sighed, throwing her hands up in the air as the bell rang again. "Well, it's what she's supposed to be being paid for yet she never seems to be doing her job, goodness knows she could never do that, that would be too much like hard work," she snapped sarcastically.
"Honestly grandma just let me get the door, its fine really." Rory insisted as the bell rang a third time and her mother called out; "Honey I'm home!" from behind the door, when no one answered. "Grandma –"
"No, Rory, we will wait until her highness decides to answer the door and do her job." Emily cut in sitting down on the couch opposite Logan. "Come and sit down." Rory complied, unwillingly walking back over to the couch as slowly as possible. When she did the awkwardness in the room increased tenfold, her mother's rendition of all by myself, being sung loudly and obnoxiously outside the door didn't help matters. Every time her Lorelai sung out of tune or raised her volume Emily flinched. "For heaven's sake!" Emily huffed angrily after about five minutes; she strode over to the door, Lorelai still singing loudly, really getting into the song, the door swung open to reveal a grinning Lorelai.
"Mom? Wow, I was starting to wonder what would get here first, you or hypothermia," Lorelai teased, grinning as her mother narrowed her eyes.
"I am in no mood for your jokes Lorelai." Emily sent Lorelai a stern look then walked back into the living room.
"Sorry mom," Lorelai muttered as she followed behind her mother into the living room, frowning when she looked at the couple of the sofa. As soon as she looked at Rory's face she knew something was wrong. Lorelai frowned at her daughter, but Rory merely looked at her as if to say we'll talk later. Lorelai cast a quick glance over at Logan narrowing her eyes before looking away.
"Hey mom," Rory muttered.
"Lorelai."Logan nodded awkwardly in greeting, scratching the back of his neck.
"Hi." There was a long pause "So..." Lorelai said drawing out the O; she took a seat next to her mother, everyone tense, folding her hands in her lap. "You'll never guess what Kirk did this morning?" She grinned looking at the three who were still sat silently, attempting to break the tension. "I was sat in Luke's, feeling lonely since a certain daughter of mine decided living with mommy for the rest of her life wasn't a good idea and Luke refused to take a break, he said something about owning the place and responsibilities." She waved her hand in the air as she got into her story, looking between the couple, Rory who was leaning forward listening intently and Logan who was still sat fascinated by the carpet pattern. "Anyway, as I was doing this I saw Kirk, holding two leashes in his hands –"
Cutting off her mom Rory frowned "I didn't know Kirk had dogs."
"He doesn't." Lorelai grinned. "He had two cats on the leashes-"
"Cats?"
"Oh yeah, on later investigation, he told me that after a lot of thought he realised that since he had a girlfriend it was only fair for cat Kirk to have a lady friend too, so naturally he went to the pet store and bought cat Lulu, he then went on to explain that he was taking the pair out on their "first date", but that isn't even the best part," she took a pause for emphasis looking around the group. "The best part is I found all of this out after Luke had kicked Kirk out of the diner when he brought them both in and asked Luke if he could get them their own table," Lorelai laughed, finally taking a breath.
"Kirk is one interesting individual," Rory laughed softly shaking her head, tension melted from her shoulders.
"Very true." Lorelai nodded in agreement.
"I worry about that town of yours sometimes," Emily sighed shaking her head at her daughter.
"Well, there's never a dull moment in stars hollow." Lorelai grinned. The room quickly fell silent again, tension re building, Emily kept huffing looking down repeatedly at the gold watch fastened on her wrist.
"Dinner should have been ready fifteen minutes ago!" Emily fumed, they all sat in silence for another excruciating five more minutes, until a heavy smell wafted in from the kitchen, Emily raised her nose to the air eyes bulging as the burning smell got worse. "Oh dear god!"
"She must have wanted to cook the food really well" Lorelai teased getting immense pleasure from her mother's flustered state.
"Oh be quiet Lorelai! Nancy? Nancy! What in god's name are you doing?" Emily shouted striding into the kitchen, Lorelai's eyebrows shot up awkward laughter bubbled past her lips, as the three left in the living room listened to the muffled arguing going on in the kitchen.
"So, Logan." Lorelai begrudgingly turned to the man who had been sat silent the majority of the night trying to keep the conversation flowing whilst the dictator did her work in the kitchen. "How was Costa Rica?"Logan tore his gaze away from the floor, looking like he was having withdrawals from the floor pattern.
"I...Ah... it was a lot of fun...it was great,"Logan answered uncomfortably, side of his mouth twitching up into an awkward smile.
"It was stupid," Rory muttered quietly under her breath,Logan shook his head and rolled his jaw, chuckling darkly.
"Nothing went wrong, I told you it wouldn't, it doesn't matter because this isn't what you have a problem with," Logan scoffed angrily, itching to down a glass, or two, of Richard's scotch.
"Oh really, then what is my problem, Logan?" Rory looked up sharply.
"You still haven't forgiven me for what happened when we were separated, you hadn't before I'd left and you haven't now." He challenged shaking his head. "I thought maybe once I'd got back you'd have cooled off, we could have put this behind us, but I guess not." Rory's eyes flashed with anger, both oblivious to Lorelai's awkwardness. Lorelai pondered joining her mother in the kitchen, quickly realising that this would most definitely be the better option.
"We weren't separated Logan that's the point, and that stunt you did, you could have been killed, something could have gone wrong and you could've gotten seriously hurt!" Rory fumed, throwing her arms up.
"Just stop it, Rory; we both know that you couldn't give a damn about the jump or anything that happened in Costa Rica!" Logan ran a hand through his hair throwing his hand forward in frustration. "You haven't been the same for weeks, ever since the night we broke up, when that Jed or Jack or whatever visited you here."
"It was Jess" Rory said adding extra emphasis on Jess's name, she knew he was right; it was true she hadn't been the same. What Jess had said to her that day was true, she'd changed become someone she wasn't. She'd become a part of a world she was never meant to be a part of, she wasn't the type of girl for luncheons or event planning, yet she did it. She had started to become her grandma's perfect daughter, her second chance, everything her mother never was nor could be and deep down inside she knew she had become someone that wasn't truly her. She was a part of her mom's world, her best friend's world, the world that was close to her heart. A world Logan could never truly understand as much as he tried.
"Jess. Jess, Rory?" Lorelai's eyes darted to her daughter, confusion filling her as soon as she heard his name. Hatred boiled up inside of her at the thought of that man, boy coming back into her daughter's life.
"Ah, yeah, you know how I saw him at the open day at the publishing company he works at, when I met April? Well it –"
"You saw him again?" Logan fumed from his seat eyes darting between Rory and Lorelai, who looked just as confused as he was.
"Yes, whilst you were in Costa Rica, a couple of days ago." She thought back to that night, how they had kissed, how it had made her remember how she had felt when they were together. The expression on his face when he told her that she could tell Logan that something had happened between them if it made her feel better. She looked over defiantly at Logan, who shook his head as his lip curve up into an angry smirk. "But, mom, I saw Jess before that, he was there the night me and Logan separated," Rory shook her head.
"Kid, you and Logan – it wasn't because of Jess was it?" Lorelai looked at her daughter concerned, she thought her daughter had moved on from him she thought he wasn't even a part of her life anymore, or at least she had hoped. Evidently not.
"No." Rory shook her head vehemently. "Not exactly."
"Not exactly, not exactly, what does that mean not exactly?" Lorelai said flinging out her arms.
"What it means is yes."Logan hissed, rubbing a hand across his mouth, Rory spun on him.
"No Logan, no what it mean is you where an ass to me and to him, you have no idea what his visit meant to me, how much it had meant that he had written a book, an actual book, a book this all his own! You have no idea how much I owe him Logan!" Rory fumed her eyes brimming with angry tears.
"I had come back early to see you! I had wanted to spend time with you, just the two of us, alone, not with him!" Logan shouted his voice getting louder. Lorelai sat there stunned, she knew, she knew just by looking at Rory what was going on. She saw it when Rory was with dean, she could see the exact same thing now. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't he just stay out of Rory's life? She knew there was nothing she could do about it, not now.
"What do you owe him anyway? What could be so important that you owe him so much for?" Logan shouted, Rory looked down at her hands her fist clenching in her lap.
"Rory, honey, I, I don't understand, I thought you were over Jess, after everything he did to you, what could you possibly owe to him." Lorelai frowned throwing out her arms looking at her daughter, willing her to make her understand.
"If it wasn't for Jess!" she shouted, then took a breath "If it wasn't for Jess, I wouldn't have gone back to Yale." The entire house fell silent.
"What did you say?" Lorelai gasped, eyes wide her voice hoarse.
"If it wasn't for Jess, I wouldn't have gone back to Yale, I wouldn't have made up with you, I wouldn't have realised what an idiot I was being. Nothing." She shook her head tears streaming down her face.
"How did he manage to do that?" Lorelai frowned, swallowing a lump in her throat. "When I couldn't."
"I don't know." Rory shook her head her voice thick, shaking. "But he did, he did and ill be forever grateful, then, then we kissed the second time I saw him, but I told him we couldn't be together because I was still with you, because I loved you, regardless of what you'd done." She took another breath the other two in the room stunned to silence as the words fell from Rory's mouth. "And you know what he said, he said that if it made me feel better I could tell you something had happened between us, it didn't though. He didn't deserve the way I had treated him, I was so confused because I love him too." She paused and gasped softly. "I love him, I love him, I love him." She kept repeating the words in her mouth over and over again testing them on her tongue.
Logan sat there stunned, not able to say a word, how could some guy, a guy he's only met once, have managed to make Rory act this way. He'd never seen her like this before. Part of him wanted to hold her and comfort her and thought he probably deserved this whether he thought they had been separated or not. The other part was furious, was seeing red, the jealousy bubbling over, wanting to find Jess and punch him so hard he wouldn't be able to see straight. So he did nothing, he just sat there, fists clenched in his hap, his knuckles turning white from the exertion.
Rory just sat there shocked, more shocked than she probably should have been at this revelation. She loved Jess, she loved him. She quickly broke out of her stupor and turned to Logan, she was so confused, she loved Jess, but she loved Logan too, she didn't know whether her anger was guiding her but she knew what she wanted at that moment, who she wanted. She had to find out whether there was something there, whether he was the somebody she was looking for. "Logan - I..."
"I know. You don't have to say it." Logan shook his head, he knew her well enough by know to know what she wanted just by looking at her face. "I'm gonna leave. I'll have Colin and Finn move your stuff out of the apartment and bring it to stars hollow, all your stuff will be there by tomorrow," he muttered turning away.
"Logan–"
"Ace, please, don't," he mumbled facing away from her "I Loved, love, you. You know, your probably the first girl, apart from Honour, that I've ever really loved." He turned his head briefly to look at her. "I hope you're happy." The words weren't malicious or sarcastic, but sincere sending another wave of tears to Rory's eyes.
"Logan," Rory whispered, she knew he was hurting; she so didn't want to hurt him, but having to dwell on what had happened a few nights ago would have been so much worse, for both of them.
"Bye, Rory." Rory eyes followed his retreating back as he walked away, the door shut with a sift thud, both women in the room watching the door as Logan's car roared to life and rolled across the gravel outside pulling down the drive and down the road, the listened until the soft purr of the engine faded to silence.
"Rory, honey" Lorelai pleaded with her daughter standing up and taking and step towards her. "Don't –"
"I have to, I have to go," Rory breathed looking up at her mom.
"Rory – What he did to you, I don't trust him." Lorelai shook her head at her daughter, she had always had a bad feeling about that kid and last time her feeling was right. She didn't want to be right again.
"Well I do, he's changed, mom," Rory said, standing up and grabbing her purse, Lorelai looked her in the eyes.
"You really believe that?"
"No." she looked at Lorelai who frowned. "I know it."
"I mean, kudos to the kid for managing to make you go back to Yale; better men than him have tried. But –" She paused. "It doesn't excuse or erase what he did, he left, he left you Rory!" Lorelai shouted. "You're letting him mess up another one of your relationships, I'm really not crazy about Logan but I'd take him over Jess."
"What about you and dad?" Rory looked her mother straight in the eyes.
"What about us?"
"Dad always left you, left us, yet you always went back to him!" Rory shouted at her mom, she knew she was hitting below the belt, but it was true.
"Hey that's not fair!" Lorelai protested looking over at her daughter shocked at what she had just said. "I'm not even with your Dad now, so the point is completely invalid."
"It doesn't matter; you always went back to him, even though he left, even though he hurt you, why?" Rory looked at her mom knowing the answer already as Lorelai turned away. "Because you loved him. And I love Jess, I love him, I have to know if there's something left there, I can't go on wondering, me and Logan are already having problems, with this on top I would probably end up doing a Sylvia Plath and sticking my head in an oven."
"Look at how going back to your father turned out for me!" Lorelai shouted throwing up her hands stepping in front of her daughter. "He hurt me Rory, it didn't turn out right, but now, with Luke, I've found it, Luke's my one and I want you to find that, I just don't think Jess is that for you, he's like your bad boy stage, a stage that should be long gone by now."
"I think he might be though, I think Jess might be my one, but we've just never been in the same place in life, the first time we were together we were both young and Jess had growing to do, and he did. In my heart I know that I was right not to say yes to Jess when he asked me to run away with him." Rory looked at her mother who was still trying to process this as her daughter continued to ramble. "If I had he would never have found truncheon and published a book, but when he came to see me the last time, it was me who had growing to do and you know that's true mom, I was in the DAR, God! I was in the DAR with grandma, what had I been thinking!" Rory threw up her arms.
"I don't know, you must have lost your mind!" Lorelai agreed then looked at her daughter, she smiled, at that moment she could see a replica of her looking back at her, the passion, the stubbornness, Rory had it all, just like she did. She laughed and took a step forward wrapping her in a hug. "Go, go to him Rory."
"What."
"Go. Your right Chris wasn't and isn't my one, but he isn't Jess, and you aren't me so maybe, maybe Jess is your one, but you have to find that out and I can't stop you." Lorelai breathed; shaking her she forced a smile.
"I love you mom." Rory squeezed her mom tight before leaning back out of the embrace to give her a wide smile.
"Love you too kid." She gave Rory a smile even though it was hard she knew she had to let her go, it went against all her instincts to let Rory go to that punk, but if he made her happy and he was what she wanted, well Rory wasn't seventeen anymore so as much as she disliked him she just had to grin and bear it. Hopefully this new Jess was better than the old one and she could possibly, maybe, come to like him, the kid did manage to make Rory go back to Yale after all. "Go, haven't you got a punk to go after?"
Rory laughed. "That I do. Tell grandma bye for me!" She quickly planted a kiss on her moms cheek the rushed out of the door.
Lorelai sighed and touched her cheek; she turned as her mom strode out of the kitchen Anna scuttling past her head bowed as she walked out the front door clutching her belongings.
"Good riddance." Emily muttered, then frowned, turning to her daughter. "Where have Rory and Logan gone?"
"They broke up, mom and Rory had something she needed to do." Lorelai shrugged.
"What, no that's impossible." Emily shook her head looking at her daughter. "Where are they really?"
"Oh you mean that Rory and Logan! Well, they joined the circus to pursue their passion of being a trapeze double act!" she said rolling her eyes.
"Lorelai, be serious," Emily berated.
"I was! But you didn't believe me." Lorelai sighed, looking at her mother, what did she expect really?
"Honestly Lorelai!"
The two carried on bickering at the house as Rory's car began to push the speed limit on the highway, her windscreen wipers rhythmically beating away the heavy rain that was falling thick and hair was plastered to her face, for a second she was glad she hadn't worn any make up today otherwise she'd have looked like a drowned panda, she had been out in the rain for a minute at most yet she was soaked. Normally this would have irritated her to no end, but, now, today it was the last thing on her mind.
She took her turn off the highway and push down a little harder on the accelerator, the speed creeping up as she zoomed towards Stars Hollow. She licked her lips keeping her eyes fixed on the road, the sped past the welcome to Stars Hollow sign and swung around screeching to a halt at the front of Luke's. She flew out of the car slamming the door behind her and flew through the door to the diner. She came to a stop at the counter, in front of a bewildered looking Luke. Shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor as she leant on the counter top trying to catch her breath.
"Rory?" Luke asked placing the coffee pot down, blinking alarmed at the girls dishevelled state, water soaked clothes. "What's happening? Is something wrong? Did everything go okay at your grandparent's house? Is Lorelai okay? You're soaking" He took a breath. "Rory?"
"I need Jess's number," She breathed looking at him, his eyes bugged as he scratched his head.
"You need Jess's what? Why? Rory, what's going on?"
She tapped on the counter. "His number, I need it, please." She looked at his with her best puppy dog eyes; he tugged at the back of his cap.
"Okay, fine," he sighed grabbing a pen and scribbling down a number on a piece of paper, "Here. What is this all about?" Rory took the paper of the counter and gave Luke a wide smile pushing the wets strands of hair out of her face.
"No time, thanks Luke," She rushed out of the diner as quickly as she came in, she darted into her car not bothering to shield herself from the tipping rain, all she wanted was to call him then to get to him, just to see him, she didn't really know. As she sat in her car and grabbed her phone her hands started to shake. What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he really hates me now for the way I'd treated him?
She took a breath and dialed the number into the phone; her finger hovered over the call button, taking a deep breath she pushed the button and put the phone to her ear her breathing shaking. The dial tone sending nerves through her with each ring. Static filled the phone than a familiar voice spoke up.
"Hello?"
"Jess?" She breathed; she could hear loud chatter and laughter in the background.
"Hello, who is this?"
"I, um, I, its –" He cut her off comprehension dawning in his voice, he sounded partly happy, partly confused and the other part frustrated.
"Rory?"
"Yeah. I just, I mean we, we broke up and, and I needed to speak to you."
"You broke up with him."
"Yes."
"Why?" he asked, Rory frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, a couple of days ago you said you couldn't be with me because you loved him."
"I know."
"So? What changed?" Rory thought about it and she wasn't sure but she knew she loved Jess and seeing him once he'd got back just made her more certain of who she wanted.
"I'm not sure, I guess I just realised that, well, that I love you, not him I guess." She shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see there was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Jess?"
"You mean it?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, completely, I love you, it's you I want, notLogan, that much I'm sure of."
"Okay," he swallowed. "Where are you?"
"Right now, sat outside Luke's in stars hollow."
"How fast do you think it would take you to get to Washington Square Park?" he asked, she thought about it for a moment.
"One hour and a half."
"Okay," he breathed, she smiled.
"Okay."
"And Rory?"
"Yes?"
"I love you too."
It turned out the Jess was in New York for the rest of the week still promoting his book, selling it into stores and what not. He was staying in a small hotel with some friends close by to where she had visited him there the last time on her mom's graduation. She sped down the highway flexing her fingers on the steering wheel a smile breaking across her face as she laughed, he loved her. She was soaking wet and had a half a hour left of journey to do, but she didn't care. For a moment her thoughts flitted to her mother and grandmother back in Hartford. She wondered what her grandmother would think, she laughed at her possible reactions to all this. Wow, she really was turning into her mother.
She flipped on the radio and grinned bobbing her head along to the clash, she smiled thinking back to the night when she tutored Jess and he got her to guess which clash song the lyrics he'd written down belonged to - Guns of Brixton. She supposed it was there song in a way, it was better than "Candyman" which was her and Deans "song", she didn't think her and Logan had ever had a song. She wasn't a particularly sentimental person, but it was the one thing she always loved having a song that was special to a couple, and frankly guns of Brixton was an awesome song.
She couldn't take the grin off her face as she pulled off the highway no matter how hard she tried; the rain was still pounding hard on the windscreen, running off in streams. After another fifteen minutes she swung around and park against the sidewalk adjacent to the park. She got out of the car eyes darting round, the rain pouring down on her small frame; she smiled as she set eyes on dark form lent against a bench a couple of feet away.
"Jess!" The form turned and began to stride towards her; she ran and met him halfway. "Hi!" she shouted over the rain, he stopped in front of her a smile on his face his hair plastered to his head eyes drifting across her face.
"Hi," The two stood for an immeasurable moment as the rain crashed down on then their chests rising and falling, the electricity between then was palpable. Then before either of them knew it they were wrapped up in a kiss. Rory brought her hands up to knot in Jess's hair, while Jess's rested on her hips squeezing her tight. The rain water mingled in between their lips letting them slide across each other with ease. Rory laughed, Jess pulled back resting his forehead against hers.
"What?"
"I'm feeling very Holly Golightly at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's," She laughed, relishing in the feeling of the rain as it fell and his arms wrapped around her waist.
"Oh Yeah?" he chuckled, placing another soft kiss on her lips.
"Yeah, minus the whole cat thing."
"You." Kiss "Rory Gilmore." Kiss "Are an enigma you know that?"
"I could say the same thing about you," she breathed as their lips brushed again; he smiled a wide genuine smile that had always been reserved for Rory's eyes only, he looked into her eyes.
"I love you," he whispered as her pressed a kiss to the hollow below her ear.
"I love you too." Finally, she thought, finally.
A/N So? Whadda ya think? I know it's a bit cliché but hey we all need a bit of cheese every now and again and anyone who hasn't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's should do so now, go, do it!
UPDATE: Okay so I waited for quite a while to Beta this but I've been really busy and had a lot of computer problems, I got a review on this pointing a few things out and the punctuation was a big thing, going back and editing is not something I'm great at admittedly. I'm just gonna respond to that review here as it was anonymous, I know that Jess would have been bitter and if this had been chaptered I would have built on it and used that and not gotten them together straight away, but as it was only supposed to be a fluffy little one shot, I didn't bother going into it too much, which sounds kinda lazy I know, but you do make a good point though.
Yes, Logan is possessive, but he also just gave up when Rory said no to being married when she didn't want all in he walked away. he also just assumed they had broken up after one argument at the start of the season, so while his reaction isn't completely accurate its not implausible either, he is a little OCC though I will admit. Lorelai did dislike Jess and at the wedding, I went back and looked, she didn't push her to him not really, I think it was more the hope her and Logan split up not her and Jess together. I suppose the way I saw it she disliked Jess more and Lorelai never specified which one she disliked the most, that I can remember anyway.
Lastly, long response I know, if you do read this, which I hope you do, then thanks for reviewing and I'm really grateful for the constructive criticism, you don't get a lot of it on fan fiction so thanks, I appreciate it!
Okay so now I've done that thank you SO much to all of you who have reviewed so far it means so much that you have, I'm kind of slap dash when it comes to replying to one shot reviews and I'm sorry about that but I've read them all and they all made me smile, so thank you so much.
Anyway!
Lovage to all
Monstergirl