A/N:
In my quest to find a new fic to read, I came across a LOT of ridiculousness. Horrible spelling, despicable grammar, atrocious punctuation and coma-inducing storylines.
I'm forever traumatized :'-(
This is just my making fun of the stupid shit people come up with. Complete crackfic fuckery. Will this continue into a full story? Who the hell knows. Maybe if enough interest is shown :-)
I don't own Twilight. If I did, I'd be in the middle of an Edward and Jasper sandwich. Yum!
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13 Year Old Writer's POV:
Bella Swan was 16 year's old and she was bad. She lives with her mom renee and she was always smoking and sneaking out. she like to drunk a lot. she is a out of control teenager. One day bella snuck out to a party and she loved stripping and when she got to the party she started stripping, because she like to do that and it was real fun.
"yeah baby shake that ass in my face because I love it when you do that!" mike Newton said to Bella as she shaked her ass for the crowd,
"Bella Swan, your so sexy, damn girl woooo!" Tyler crowley said to bella because he liked it when she went stripping at the cool kid partys.
Bella was done strip because she wants to drink and so she said "fuck this I wanna get my drink on!"
And so she walks to the bar to get a drink and she drinks a lot and gets drunk and wild.
She was having a three some with Jacob black and embry. It was so hot. Bella swan was so wet and so tight and jacob black smacked her ass and bella swan moaned because she likes it rough.
Bella was sucking on Embrys cock and she was deepthroating his cock and his cock was hitting the back of her throat and he cum in her mouth and she swollows because its hot. And jake was doing her doggy style with his big huge cock. He stretched her pussy because his cock was huge and bella was moaning and screaming because it felt so fucking good too her.
"ISABELLA WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
Bella swan truned her head and saw renee her mom standing in the door way.
"mom! What the hell are your doin here. How you know I was here. What do you care anyways!" bella yelled because shes an out of control teenager.
"I have had enough Isabella marie swan! I am sending you to live with you're dad in forks washington, Charlie Swan. You are to out of control and I can not be stressed all of the time like this. You need to leave my house because I am tried of this!" renee yelled.
"fine ill leave I don't care I hate you, I can't wait too leave because I hate you and yours a bad mother and I just want to drink and fuck. What is the big damn deal its not like im a crackhead. Its my life and none of you're business what I do when I want to do it!" bella yelled at her mom renee.
Bella swan ran home and cried because she was so mad renee is such a stupid hating bitch. The nex day Rennee had bella's stuff packing in boxes and she sent bella on a plain to forks washington.
"Bella I love you your my baby and you will thank me one day for this you will see."
"whatevs mom. I hate you and hate Phil dwyer and lame florida and I will hate forks to. I will never forgive you for taking away my life from me when I just want to have fun and smoke and drink and have sex!" Bella screamed and tears were falling down her face because she was so mad.
They called her plain number and bella got on the plain to forks washington leaving her old life behind her.
Random Reader POV:
WTF?! O_O
EPOV Written By 13 Year Old:
I am a vampire and I live on Forks Washington dc. A lot of girl's want to fuck me but I don't want too fuck them. I have a secret that would rock this town to the core. Me and jasper and carlisle have sex because we are all bisexual. Noone nows our secret and noone can ever know it. Poor esme I feel badly for her but fucking jasper and Carlisle cullen is great. Sometimes we have sex with rose and Alice to and its so fucking hot.
Anyways, today a new girl is coming to here and everybody is talking about her. Maybe if shes hot she can join us for a big hot orgy.
Edward what are you thinking said alice to edwards head because he heard peoples thinking.
Edward I know that your going to like the new girl and you will have a lot of sex with her. Can I join you Alice said to my head again.
Then I saw her her name was Bella Swan I heard her name in other peoples head. and she was so fucking hot with her pouty lips and very long eyelashes and she has on fuck me heels.
I think I love her. my dick is really hard right as I see her. Holy fuck.
I told you Alice said to inside my head,
Beta POV:
*head exploding*
13 Year Old's A/N:
So theres my first chapter! There is a lot more lemony goodness to come if you review for me! Click that button and let me know how you like it :-)