A/N: Hey peoples! So this one shot is Prompt from Luna M. Moon through Fanfiction. Something that's not as naughty as it looks.

R&R?

Ivan was a simple man. Some theorised that his constant smiled was to stop people realising he was secretly plotting their deaths. Though to Ivan the smile was more to trick himself into thinking he was happy. Somewhere deep down he believed that if he smiled like he was happy then eventually he'd be happy.

Though Ivan told himself his childhood dream would never come true he wanted to believe. Of course the childhood dream of living somewhere sunny with his family and a small pet hamster had changed. His family replaced with flowers and the occasional visit, the hamster replaced by a small China man and his big home turning into a small cottage. That would be the life: just him, his flower and Yao.

Ivan had been in love with Yao since what felt like the dawn of time but thanks to a lack of social skills and size he tend to scare Yao more than romance him. They were close, very close, but Ivan just couldn't seem to get from friend to lover. He's been trying to flirt more recently.

Of course the Russian never dreamt Yao would be his from the smaller man's sheer pride and prude like nature. It didn't bother Ivan though, these same qualities he had fallen in love with, kept every other nation away from Yao.

So if Ivan couldn't have Yao ever, no one could. Somewhere deep down he might also believe that if he stays by Yao's side long enough then the Chinaman might get horny and jump him. It was a fading belief though.

"Ivan!" The Russian came back to reality when someone was yelling his name. There was the sound of clicking finger then he saw the face in front of him.

Ivan's smile dropped for a second as he looked at Francis confused.

"You faded off my friend and Arthur asked you a question," Francis explained. Ivan looked from Francis to Arthur who looked frustrated beyond all belief.

"That's probably why I faded off," Ivan mused his smile returning. He really didn't like Arthur, maybe because Yao didn't like Arthur. Who knew?

"Why you little-!" Arthur jumped foreword but Francis held him back.

"Are you stupid? Do you know who you're about to jump?" Francis hissed at the Englishman. Arthur pushed himself back glared at the smiling Russian.

"Ugh, sit down frog face," Arthur snapped taking a deep breath. He rubbed his eyes trying to get rid of the stress. "Now that you're listening Ivan- Hey!"

Ivan looked up from his phone innocently: "Did you say something?"

"Yes, I was asking-" Arthur took a deep breath closing his eyes. "With your history what do you think would come of-" Arthur opened his eyes to see the seat empty and Francis was snickering.

"Oh, Arthur, he must really hate you," Francis laughed.

"Where the bloody hell did he go?" Arthur asked. Ludwig sat back in his chair where he had stayed silent the whole meeting and sighed. He still had no idea how any of these nations could work together.

"He left when you closed your eyes," Ludwig stated. "You probably shouldn't have annoyed him."

"I was just asking a question!" Arthur defended himself.

"You told him he gained weight when we walked in, he hates you," Francis mused. "It's just more passive now. Also he's texted me and asked me where your favourite tea cup was. He's probably smashed it."

"Great," Arthur slumped into his seat. "I believe it's your turn Ludwig."

"Yes, thank you," Ludwig stood ready to give his 2 hour presentation Ivan had wanted to avoid anyway.

Ivan turned down the hall keeping an ear out for any angry Englishmen behind him. He was planning on putting something in Arthur's tea leaves just because he hated the smell of that tea.

He also wasn't too fond of the weight comments. They were uncalled for and Arthur was sleeping with the fat slob Alfred so he shouldn't judge.

Ivan smiled to hide his true goal of probably making Arthur spend all of tomorrow in the bathroom as he passed a group of nations.

"I don't know man, I think Lovino would kick your ass," Gilbert shrugged. Ivan guessed he was glad that Gilbert didn't glare at him every time they passed in the hall anymore. Now it was just snide remarks and a lack of speaking. Not that Ivan minded.

"Si, it will work, Lovino will fall into my arms!" Antonio declared. "Ivan, you need to support me. I am going to propose to Lovino on a Jumbo Tron at the world cup!"

"Fucking hell, are you still breathing?" Gilbert grumbled.

"And in existence, unlike some," Ivan replied making Gilbert go silent. "Antonio, I am not one for romance but that is a horrible idea."

"It's romantic," Antonio pointed out.

"Da, but embarrassing. I would do something private for Lovino," Ivan pushed past them heading towards the kitchen.

"The demon has a point dude. Lovino hates it when you embarrass him."

"He is not romantic like me," Antonio sighed. "You watch, I will sweep him off his feet! Let's ask Feliciano, he will know!"

Ivan sighed: why did he even ask then? Antonio was a nice man, he was a bit cracked like the Russian but more romantic in a way. Obviously that's what Ivan needed since Antonio got to snuggle up to the man of his dreams and Ivan slept alone… every night. Sometimes it hurt less when he slept with a heat pack.

The Russian walked into the kitchen pulling the laxatives out of his pocket. These were meant for Alfred but close enough, right?

Ivan pulled down Arthur's favourite tea cup and began to line the cup with the drug. Next were the tea leaves. He only used a small amount then noticed Alfred's jam donuts. He smiled noticing the icing looked just like his crushed up laxatives. He began to sprinkle it all on then turned to leave when he heard a noise.

They were definitely sex noises, lots of them. Two men by the sounds of it.

The Russian suddenly became awkward.

"Yao!" A scream. It was Alfred. More screaming and groan. Ivan froze moving closer to the pantry.

"This isn't fair," Alfred complained.

"You lost," Yao replied panting, "deal with it."

"I didn't even want to do this," Alfred complained.

"Yes you did, you told me you did now hurry up," Yao replied. Ivan flung the cupboard door open to see it was empty. He could still hear noises through the wall though. They must be in the next room.

"Ah, Yao," Alfred groaned. More screaming. Ivan went pale, his whole body shut down in an instance.

Ivan's body was at a standstill but his mind was imagining Alfred with his hand all over Yao. He knew Alfred and Yao had a lot of meetings due to Alfred's imaginable debt but he didn't think they were that close.

Why would Yao let Alfred touch his body with those greasy, slimy hands and not Ivan? Ivan was an amazing lover yet he chose the less experienced Alfred to sleep with.

All those years by Yao's side- and he chose Alfred!

Ivan felt betrayed and shocked. He still couldn't believe it.

"I give up, go ask Ivan to play with you," Alfred huffed.

"Get your ass back here and finish," Yao snapped. "Besides Ivan isn't here, you are."

What? Had Ivan missed his chance with Yao because he was stuck in a meeting? The unfairness of the whole situation was evident.

No, Ivan needed to find out now why Yao had chosen the Macca's weirdo over him. Ivan spends close to 3 hours a day training and taking care of himself while Alfred ate deep fried heart attacks.

Ivan stormed out of the kitchen pushing past Feliciano.

"Ve, sorry," Feliciano stumbled to one side looking confused to where Ivan's smile had gone.

"I'm done," Alfred huffed.

"I'm not," Yao replied. "Come on, don't give up."

Ivan pushed through the door ready to see the two tangled on the couch or the floor naked. One inside the other, with sweat covering their bodies. Instead he was greeting with two sweaty, clothed nations with remotes in their hands.

Wii remotes. Ivan looked confused. Perhaps even a bit happy.

"Ivan? I thought you were in a meeting," Yao smiled at him softly.

"I- um-" Ivan looked at the TV to see they were playing Tennis on the Wii and Yao was obviously winning.

"Look, Ivan's here, play against him," Alfred fell onto the couch with a deep breath.

"I didn't want to play anyway, you were too easy to beat," Yao threw the remote at him making the American groan.

"I thought- um…" Ivan looked down at his hand confused.

"Do you still want to go out for lunch Ivan?" Yao took a deep breath.

Ivan looked at him confused: "D-da."

"Good, just let me get changed then, aru. Alfred and I have been playing for over two hours," Yao laughed walking past him.

"You okay dude? You look paler than normal," Alfred sat up wiping his sweat drenched hair from his face.

"Um…" Ivan thought for a minute. "I just… I have to go…"

Ivan turned following that flash of black hair around the corner. He got to Yao's room just as the door was closing and pushed through shocking the Chinaman.

"Ivan! I need to get changed," Yao snapped.

"We are both men Yao," Ivan shrugged closing the door and sitting on the bed. He slowly pulled off his coat sitting it to one side. Was it just him or is it a thousand degrees in this room?

Yao sighed pulling some clothes out his bag: "Just don't look, okay?"

Ivan fell back onto the bed staring at the roof: "How is this?"

"Better," Yao sat his clothes down pulling his top up. "Were you okay back there? You seemed a bit shocked."

"I-" Ivan began to laugh. "It is funny." Ivan moved his head slight and suddenly he could see Yao pulling off his pants and cute ass with a panda tattoo.

"Do share," Yao replied pulling up his pants. Ivan loved that Yao refused to wear underwear.

"I was in the kitchen and from in there it sort of sounded like you and Alfred were intimate," Ivan laughed. Yao paused halfway through pulling his top off.

"Really? I hope no one else could hear us," Yao through for a minute dropping his shirt and putting on a new one.

"I am not sure, that's just what it sounded like to me," Ivan shrugged looking back at the roof as Yao turned.

"And you came running in to what? Protect my honour?" Yao laughed falling onto the bed next to him.

"It sounded like you had lost it already Yao, trust me," Ivan replied looking at him. "I ran in there to see if it was true… and beat the shit out of Alfred."

Yao laughed: "What about me?"

"I wouldn't be angry, just disappointed," Ivan nodded. Yao laughed again shaking his head.

"I'm glad you came to investigate, aru, can't have you thinking I'm sleeping around with Alfred. That would ruin my life, wouldn't it?"

Ivan chuckled: "I guess it ruined Arthur's. His partner standards are low though."

Yao cracked up holding his stomach: "No, not like me at all."

"Da, your standards are about my height though," Ivan grinned.

"Are they now?"

"Da, perfect height for me. Making me perfect by the way," Ivan raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"So you're my perfect man then?" Yao raised an eyebrow.

"Da, now you will say it," Ivan smiled.

"Nah," Yao shrugged.

"You leave me no choice then," Ivan sat up. "I will tickle it out of you."

Kaoru was a simple man. He showed no emotion because it was so much funnier watching everyone else overreact. Especially Yao. It was funny watching him get mad and kick something.

Talking of his glorious big brother the man had promised his cash and forget to give it to him this morning. Kaoru sighed dragging himself to Yao's room. That's when he heard it.

"Ah! Ivan!" Yao laughed.

"Come here," Ivan replied. There was a scream and a moan then more laughing.

"Ivan!" Yao squealed.

"What the-" Kaoru looked at the door. What was happening? He lived with the belief that no one would ever touch his brother's body and Ivan was touching his brother!

"I know you think it's romantic but it won't work man," Gilbert was still reasoning with Antonio about his proposal method.

"I agree," Francis nodded.

"Ivan!" Yao let out a squeak.

"Whoa, what's happening in here?" Gilbert stopped.

"I think my brother and Ivan are having very loud sex," Kaoru stated.

"My turn," Yao laughed.

"No!" Ivan replied and groaned.

"What the-" Gilbert looked at the door just as shocked as Kaoru.

"Stop them," Kaoru begged.

"Let me handle this," Francis tested the door to see it was unlocked. "Mistake number one. In we go."

"I don't want to see this!" Kaoru covered his eyes as Francis flung the door open.

"What are you two doing?" Francis smiled at them. Yao looked up shocked from where he sat on Ivan's chest. Ivan moved his head slightly to see the four nations.

"Hello!" Ivan waved. Yao looked at them all in distress then saw his brother's disgusted face.

"This isn't what it looks like," Yao smiled nervously.

A/N: That's all Folks! Hope you all enjoyed, especially Luna.

So please review then check out Luna M. Moon on Fanfiction!

Thanks,

SeeleFairyWitch.