Author's Note: Don't take this to seriously. Enjoy
Slayers Pageant
"This is just wrong," Lina says with seething anger. "Why do I have to do this!"
It is a chilly winter night and all is not well in the modest sized town of Evelin. For as soon as Lina showed her face everything just went wrong. Every Slayer member, still alive, is present, from Amelia and Zelgadis, to Filia and Pokota.
"Don't you remember Lina," Gourry says raising a knowing finger. "You mistook those towns' people for bandits and sent them to the local hospital."
"And it's up to us to continue their noble deed in their stead," Amelia finishes with exaggerated gusto. The fighting princess squeals with delight "Ohhh, I always wanted to play a part in a Holiday pageant, but I'm a princess first."
In order to make a long story short, it will simply be stated that Lina and the rest of her companions are now forced to play the parts of a 'Christmas' pageant in Evelin, since Lina blew up the original cast members. Now Lina would never agree to perform such a tradition if not for the fact that a certain Mazoku Lord is currently out searching for them. Hiding in this modest town and taking part in a holy activity is the easiest way to disappear.
That and the town wouldn't let them leave without Seyruun hearing about it.
"I just don't see why we all have to stay here as well," Zelgadis grunts from behind them.
"What are you talking about Mister Zelgadis," Amelia asks in surprise. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Playing the part of one of the wisest men alive!"
"How can you call him wise, he nearly destroyed the world twice! The last person I would ever wish to play is the part of the great RED priest Rezo!" Zelgadis nearly screams.
"Was he really that bad?" Sylphiel asks from her corner beside Gourry.
"Yes he was," Zelgadis scoffs. "I guess you weren't there, but copi Rezo looks like a saint in comparison."
"Don't toss the word saint around so easily," Filia reminds him while she bounces baby Val on her knee.
"I still say that Rezo was a great man," Pokota says from atop Gourry's head.
Zelgadis sends a deadly glare at the stuffed teen who gladly returns the gesture. The two cursed men may never see eye to eye on this issue.
"…but Mister Zelgadis you look nearly like him," Amelia counters meekly.
Lina cannot help but laugh, "Ha, yeah, it's such a perfect fit from matching his purple hair to his cold . . ."
"If you wish to live through this you won't finish that sentence," Zelgadis cuts in.
"Gee, Zel, and I thought I was upset, lighten up, at least you get to play the part of a guy . . . I have to play the part of a . . . boy . . ." Lina clutches her hands at her side.
Zelgadis doesn't bother hiding his smirk as Amelia simply pushes her two index fingers together nervously.
"What part am I playing again?" Gourry asks.
Everyone groans, even Sylphiel looks slightly dismayed.
"You're playing the part of the virgin's protector! That's one of the most important roles!" Amelia says with a fist of pride. "You are playing the part of the man who protected the virgin mother and her child from any evil that might threaten them."
Lina and Zelgadis briefly glance at one another before giving Amelia a questioning look. "Really, I thought he was just the guy betrothed to her?" Lina says.
"Wha-What, NO!" Amelia cries, even Sylphiel puts her hands to her mouth in alarm as Filia shakes her head in disgust, but she isn't surprised. "When was the last time you went to a shrine for the holidays?!" Amelia asks.
Silence.
"I think it was right before I left my family," Lina says. "So. . . I was eight I guess."
"I was fourteen, Rezo actually took part in quite a few pageants" Zelgadis recalls with disinterest and a slight hint of something like fear.
"We just had a pageant last year, so I think I'm good," Pokota says with a shrug.
"I can't remember," Gourry unabashedly admits and his quiet bride to be almost faints.
"Lina and Gourry, you should be ashamed. And Mister Zelgadis, if you took part in pageants then you of all people should know the story." Amelia lets out a heavy sigh. "Here you are playing parts in a pageant and you probably don't even know who you are."
"Hey, I knew Rezo plenty well," Zelgadis says angrily.
"It can't be that hard to play these parts, we just have to stand out there as the priest reads the story to the congregation right." Lina leans back lacing her arms behind her head.
"Well, yes, but you also have lines to say at certain times too!" Amelia says.
"We do!" Gourry panics. "I don't think I can do this, I've never been good at remembering things."
"Don't worry mister Gourry, I'll just whisper your lines to you," Sylphiel smiles.
"Really, that's great, thanks Sylphiel." Gourry lets out a sigh of relief.
"Hey! How about me, who will whisper lines in my ear," Lina shouts in envy.
"As I recall the drummer boy doesn't have any spoken lines," Filia recalls, but then her face turns slightly mischievous. "But you do need to play the drum."
"What?"
Xellos enters the room at this opportune moment and smiles at his companions. "They are ready to get your costumes fitted and help you with your lines," Xellos says to them.
"NAMAGOMI!" Filia cries in horror. Carefully Filia hands baby Val to Sylphiel as the dragon priestess takes out a mace and marches towards the monster. "What is monster filth doing here in this holy place?!"
Val giggles and bounces in Sylphiel's arms; he's use to seeing this display and loves it every time.
"Well of course I'm here, I am a priest after all," Xellos replies as if the answer is really that simple.
"But what does the monster race have to do with such a holy celebration!"
"How rude, WE had a key role to play as well, a very important part I plan on reenacting tonight," Xellos says happily
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Filia is about to let lose her wrath until the head priest of Evelin walks into the room. Now it is Filia who looks like a devil while everyone else appears to be an angel.
At this point the men and women are separated and begin their preparations for the evening's pageant.
Filia is still beside herself with anger, but she cannot do anything about it now. What's worse is that Xellos made a fool of her in front of the head priest. In an attempt to calm the dragon priestess, Sylphiel asks Filia a question.
"You'll be playing the part of one of the messengers, that part requires a lot of singing," Sylphiel says.
Her question does the trick. "Yes, but they're all old carols which I know by heart," Filia says. "The part of the virgin is quite an honor too."
"I don't see why I couldn't play that part . . ." Lina mopes as a priestess ties back her wild hair into a tight braid. It looks as if the priestess is attempting to tame a wild beast, but this priestess is no push over.
"I like my part; I get to be a shepherdess! Can you believe it," Amelia's dreams are obviously coming true given the stars that seem to be dancing in her eyes.
"Um, do you have any lines?" Lina asks as she gives her small drum a gentle rat-a-tat-tat.
"Just one," Amelia says happily.
"Sylphiel and Gourry will have the most lines," Filia says. "I do hope Gourry will be okay . . ."
"He'll be fine," Sylphiel says with blind pride.
A light snicker can be heard from Lina, "just pray that the narrator cuts out most of his lines or reads them for him, because I seriously doubt Gourry will be fine."
Sylphiel pouts and then stands, "Just you watch Lina, Gourry will do it perfectly." With that said the young woman quickly walks out of the room with a priestess or two putting the finishing touches on her outfit.
"Wow, Miss Lina I think you might have hurt her feelings," Amelia says with concern.
Lina shrugs but receives a quick slap on the shoulder from the priestess doing her hair. The slightest movement from Lina can undo the priestess hard work. "Whatever, if she's playing the main part it's her problem anyway."
"Honestly, such children, you should just be grateful that you have a better role than Pokota. . ." Filia says as she fixes Val's little halo.
"Why what part is he playing?"
"A sheep," Filia says.
With a burst of laughter that would kill a normal person Lina erupts with happy mischief. "I've got to find that fur ball, he's never going to hear the end of it from me." If not for the woman doing Lina's hair, she would have raced out of the room right then and there, but Lina is forced to wait until the priestess is done. As soon as Lina's hair is up and done, she races from the room shouting Pokota's name and a few unsightly sayings meant for the recipients pain and suffering. Amelia races after her trying to calm the unquenchable storm.
With a sigh Filia stays put with Val giggling on her knee. "Children!" Val says pointing after them.
"Yes, yes they are," Filia agrees with head held high.
Not soon after a scream can be heard from Zelgadis.
"Oh, hey Zel, didn't realize you had some many stones on your back," Lina can be heard saying with a nervous chuckle.
"Bomb de wind!" Zelgadis says sending Amelia and Lina soaring back down the hall.
Next thing Lina knows, she back in her chair having her hair done again by an extremely aggravated priestess. The priestess isn't foregoes being kind to Lina's hair and quickly yanks and pulls the red flame without mercy.
Pokota is the one who has the last laugh as he watches the priestess let out her anger on Lina's hair.
"Sure I was always an animal, but at least I'm not a grown woman playing the part of little boy," Pokota says. Before Lina can let out her anger on Pokota, the priestess grabs him by his large ears and chucks him out of the room.
The priestess shows no remorse.
Epilogue
And so the Slayers are ready for their Christmas debut. Sylphiel as the virgin mother, Gourry as the protector, Filia, Val and Xellos as the messengers, Lina as the drummer boy, Amelia as one of the shepherds, and Zelgadis playing the part of the great wise priest who traveled far to see the prophesized god in human flesh.
To all of the priests and priestess surprise the pageant went on without too much trouble. They still adlibbed and added portions to the story that may or may not have happened. In fact some of the verses Filia knew from the songs were different from the way the humans knew them and Xellos didn't help much with this. The monster priest even added a verse with a message many would ponder for years after. Zelgadis played his part perfectly, almost too perfectly since people were convinced that he actually was Rezo. Amelia was the happiest of the shepherds and her one line came across as a justice speech somehow. Yes, for all of the Slayers conflict and stubbornness the companions were still able to pull it together just long enough to make a difference for the town of Evelin and anyone else who happened to see it that night.
Afterward the Slayers temporarily forgot their troubles with the Mazoku Lord and had a good time. Enjoying the time they had together in their own way. Lina proceeded to hackle and toy with Pokota about being a sheep, Gourry forgot all the lines he had learned only hours before (much to Sylphiel's remorse), Zelgadis seemed in a daze of sorrow and Amelia did her best to unsuccessfully once again improve the mood of her good friend. Xellos and Filia, well, they had a good time fighting, Val giggling the entire time.
Above it all L-sama smiled. What was the Winter season without a chaotic Christmas pageant. After all, that's how she remembered it.
The End
Author's Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Please read this in good humor this is meant for laughs and giggles. If it is offensive . . . well I should be the first person it offends so I apologize if it's too much. I just couldn't help picturing Lina as "The Little Drummer Boy" so I wrote this to appease my curiosity. Thanks for reading, I hope someone enjoys this.