I used to live for moments like these. The moments when Tobias would hold my hand in both of his, when he would caress my cheek, when he would kiss me oh so softly on the lips.
How fitting it is for these to be the last things I will ever experience.
I lay on the floor with my back propped up against a cold, hard wall. My gun, discarded, is off to the side, and Tobias's is not far behind. My hands are covered in blood, my shirt is covered in blood, everything is covered in blood there's so much of it. The wound in my chest makes it impossible for me to move, but even if I could, why would I? Everything I care about is right here in front of me, holding my hand.
My thoughts wander back to the first time I met him, on Choosing Day in the Dauntless compound after I jumped off the roof. At that time, he was just Four. Just my instructor. Now, he's so much more than that.
I think back to everything we've done together, everything we've been through. The time we climbed the Ferris wheel together, where I learned about his fear of heights and he saved me from falling to my death. When we kissed for the first time, deep in the Pit. When he first said he loved me, that night on the train, the night of the attack simulation. How I felt when I lied to him and went with Marcus. When I betrayed him.
When he forgave me.
And now, as he sits with me while the life fades out of me.
I can hear him saying my name, pleading with me to not die, not to leave him here, alone. I smile at him, and it's a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. His face is the only thing I see, and I am grateful that he is here now. My chest feels like it is on fire, but his presence makes the pain less noticeable.
Once, when my parents had died, after I killed Will, I craved death. I thought it was the only escape, that the only way I could make things right was to die. But after I was nearly executed at the Erudite headquarters, I realized I was wrong. I didn't want to die. I still had Tobias, and he needed me. I know he still needs me now, as he crouches next to me, clutching my hands. I don't want to leave him so soon, but I know I must. And I am not afraid of death, not now, as it takes me.
"Tobias," I manage to croak out, squeezing his hands. The bullet in my chest makes it hard to breathe, hard to speak, but I do it anyway.
I see something flash through his eyes as I say his name, but I can't place it. Love? Fear? Grief? I don't know now, and I will never find out.
"Tris, please, hold on, we can get help, please don't die, I need you, you can't leave me," His words come out frantic as his eyes search my face. He holds my right hand tightly in both his own, begging me to hold on to what little life I have left.
Slowly, I shake my head, and give him another small smile. "It's too late for me, Tobias."
"No, no, don't say that, please don't say that," I can see tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. I hate watching Tobias cry. It makes me feel weak.
"I'm not afraid, Tobias," I say quietly, my eyes never leaving his. "I'm glad I got to share my last moments with you. You made my life worth living. You showed me that it wasn't worthless."
Slowly, I unwrap my hand from his grasp. It hurts too much to move my left side, where the bullet when in, so I simply wrap a single arm around his neck with one hand and pull his lips towards mine. I kiss him tenderly, putting all the love I feel towards him into it, trying to make him understand. I need him to understand. After a few seconds, I pull back, and allow my hand to trail slowly along the side of his face before resting it once again on the floor at my side.
"I love you." I whisper, and it's the truest thing I have ever said.
And with that, I am gone.
I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm trying to write 750 words a day, and this is what I came up with today. I thought it was okay, so I thought I would share it with you! It was really fun to write, I simply love Tobias and Tris.
