More than Grades

After Ron was poisoned, Hermione visits him alone. But what she tells him shocks them both.

Hermione sat on the edge of an occupied hospital bed in the Hogwarts infirmary. She'd been here for 15 minutes already, but she hadn't moved since she'd arrived. Like a statue, she seemed frozen in time. Only the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed ruined this comparison. Her eyes were transfixed on the red haired young man laying there. Ronald Weasley, her best friend, had been poisoned. Harry - her other best friend had saved him with his quick thinking, but just the thought of almost having lost Ron caused a single tear to roll down her cheek now.

Not like this, she thought. She'd barely spoken to Ron in weeks. Ron had been seeing Lavender Brown(her breathing became more rapid now, and her cheeks slightly red with rage as she thought of her) and Hermione had been avoiding him for some time. The times she hadn't been able to avoid him had usually ended in the two of them arguing, and Ron usually exclaiming something about her being mental, or to the effect that girls were crazy.

She couldn't really blame Ron for dating Lavender. It's not like she herself had done anything to let Ron know how she felt. True, they'd been close friends, and sometimes she thought she could sense something more between them, but apparently it was all one sided. She struggled with this now. Sometimes Ron would do or say something to her, and she would be left wondering just how he felt about her exactly. Sometimes while she was helping him do his homework their hands would accidentally touch. She rather enjoyed the accidental touches, but Ron usually had a look of absolute terror on his face when it happened. At first she thought he was merely shy - and the awkward silence that followed seemed to back that up. But now, she wasn't so sure - she was second guessing herself, and her previous conclusions.

She thought back now to their early relationship. When they'd first met, things had not gone so well. Ron thought she was a know-it-all, and she thought him rather crude. He never studied, and he always goofed off playing Wizard Chess, or talking about Quidditch. It was like he always found a way to do, or talk about anything that wasn't related to learning. It drove her mad. How could he not care about his marks? How could he not spend hours perfecting his essays? It was all very annoying to her.

Then, there was the eating. She couldn't fathom how Ron did not weigh 600 lbs by now. It seemed every time she saw him, he had a piece of food entering his mouth. He ate, and he ate, and he ate. Portion sizes were just a suggestion, apparently.

And now, there was Lavender. They'd been dating for a month or so now (41 days! Not that she'd been counting!) and every time she saw him kissing her, her blood would boil. It drove her mad, mad, mad! To see his lips on hers...it was worse than any unforgiveable curse. But why? this boy, this young man infuriated her so much! He never said the right thing, never did the right thing, was always stuffing his face, or doing something to annoy her! Lavender was just the icing on the cake. It was just another thing, in a long list of things that Ronald Weasley had done to infuriate her.

Hermione shook her head slowly. She was lying to herself, she knew it. Try as she would, she couldn't deny it. Another tear rolled down her cheek, following the first.

She looked at Ron's face now. Her heart was breaking. If Ron had died, he'd never have even known! She studied his face intently now. His face looked ashen, and his lips were dry. She remembered how Ron laughed. He had such an easy smile, and such a hearty laugh. He had a way of making a joke out of most things, and a sure sign Ron was around, was the sound of laughter. Her chest shuddered now as she wondered what she would have done if she'd never heard that easygoing laugh again. She'd give anything to hear it now. Anything! Just laugh for me Ron, she pleaded silently.

Her gaze travelled to his hair now. The famous Weasley fiery red hair. It always seemed to be a bit unruly. Ron was always running his hands through his hair, as if trying to put it back in place, but it never worked. Usually, he just mussed it up even more. Hermione's lips cracked the smallest of smiles as she thought about this. It was just like Ron to try to smooth something out, and leave it even worse than he'd started.

She looked at his still hands now, and then back to his hair. She leaned forward, and she gently pulled a stray lock of his hair from his forehead. She ran her fingers through his hair, sorting out the unruly bits. It only took a few seconds. There...everything in place. She smiled as she looked at him. Her eyes misted over now, and she gave out a long slow breath. It was becoming harder now. She wouldn't be able to contain herself much longer, she realized. This emotional tide couldn't be held back. She knew it. It was only a matter of time before she broke.

She took several struggling breaths now, trying to calm herself. It wasn't working as well as she'd hoped. But it had helped a bit. She looked at Ron's closed eyelids. Under those lids were the warmest eyes she'd ever seen. Always full of laughter, warmth, mirth, they were so inviting. And when she used to look at him, his eyes seemed to sparkle just for her. Had she imagined all that?

Ron's cheeks were so chalky now. Gone was the ruddy complexion of his skin - replaced with a pale lifeless colour. She remembered the times they had accidentally touched hands while reaching for the same quill, while revising their homework. Those very pale cheeks now, would be bursting with crimson then. It seemed every time she was around, Ron's cheeks were flushed. She reached out now, and she ran the underside of her index finger over Ron's cheek.

She moved her finger up and down slowly. It was as if she was afraid to break him. Each caress was barely a whisper of a touch across his skin. Like the gentlest of breezes, she let her finger gently explore his cool cheeks. Hermione was sure if Ron were conscious his cheeks would be blazing red now. Just blush for me Ron. One more time. Please...just let me see your cheeks turn pink. But it was no use...no matter how much she silently pleaded, Ron's body just would not respond to her unspoken wishes.

She took his hand in hers now. She sandwiched his fingers between her own - intelocking them until they became as one. Hermione sobbed lightly now as she looked at her hand locked with his. When had it happened? When had this infuriating, annoying boy turned into something else? She wasn't sure. She couldn't explain it. It was just one of those things that had happened. She didn't care why, she just knew how she felt.

She continued holding his hand. There was so much she had to tell him. There was so much he had to know. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. She was on the verge of breaking down. It took all her effort to stem the flow, and calm herself down enough to speak.

"Ron..." she whispered. "There's something...I...I...have to...tell you..." she said through sobs. "I know you can't hear me, but I'm going to tell you anyway. You have to know." she finished, the last part being in a bit more control.

"I know you hate me. I know I've treated you lousy the past month or so. (41 days! Not that she had been counting!) Ok fine. I know I've been treating you lousy the past 41 days. And yes, I've been counting Ron. It's just..." tears began falling like rain now as she spoke.

She had to hurry. There wasn't much time left. Soon she wouldn't be able to talk, and she had to finish before she lost all her control.

"You belong with me Ron. You want to know why I've been so absolutely horrid to you? It's because I can't stand to see you with Lavender. I can't stand to see you kissing her. Those lips...your lips...should be on my lips. I want you to kiss me. I've wanted you to kiss me for so long. And yes, I know we're totally opposite, and we always argue, but I don't care. You mean more to me than anyone. And I know you don't feel the same way, but I can't help who I have feelings for. And I have feelings for you!" she blurted out without taking a single breath.

She inhaled deeply now, steadying herself for the last part. She'd never spoken it aloud before, but she reminded herself again - Ron needed to know. She looked at him again, and he appeared blurry through her tear filled vision. She squeezed his hand lightly now.

"It's more than just feelings Ron. You're the best thing in my life. I care more about you than anything. More than books, more than grades, more than anything or anyone. You're the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep." She was struggling to get the words out now. Each breath was coming more ragged than the last. I can't do this, she thought. Yes, you can.

"Do you know how much you mean to me Ron? Do you know how many nights I've stayed up with my mind racing with thoughts of you? Thinking about your smile, and your laugh, and your hair, and your lips? You're more than the sum of your parts. Each part of you combines to make something greater than anything I'd ever thought possible. It's all you. It's always been you. I just never told you." Hermione's pulse was racing. Everything was gushing from her mouth with such haste. It's like she couldn't get her feelings out fast enough.

"You never knew how much just a simple smile from you could light up my day. All this time, and I've never told you. It's my fault. I should have said something. I should have done something. I was a fool." she admitted.

She took a deep breath now. She'd said most of what she had wanted to. Now there was just one thing left to say.

I want you to know..." she trailed off now. She took another deep breath. She was going to say it. Those words she'd been thinking for so long were about to be released. Once she said them, she'd never be able to take them back. She didn't know if that thought made her feel happy or terrified. It didn't matter. Just say it, Hermione, she prodded herself. And she did.

"I love you Ronald Weasley. I'm so in love with you... I need you to know that. I need you to know how I feel." she said in little more than a whisper. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off of her to hear those words aloud. She smiled after she said them. She could feel her heart soaring now. It didn't matter now that Ron was unconscious, and couldn't hear her. What mattered, is that she had said it. She expressed how she felt, and it felt so wondrous to admit it.

"I'm so in love with you Ronald Weasley." she repeated once more, and then began to laugh. She loved Ronald Weasley! It was so absurd to her logical mind. They weren't anything alike! But for once in her life, she didn't care about logic, or analysis. She was Hermione, and he was Ron, and she wanted to be with him, and that is all that mattered to her right now. Her laughs soon turned back into sobs however, as she remembered just how close she had come to losing him.

She buried her head in his chest now, sobbing quietly. Slowly, she calmed down. Her sobs finally faded away. She lay there now, feeling the light up and down movement of Ron's chest. Her cheek was against his chest, and she could hear his heart beating. She focused on it now. She could hear each beat, and it's steady rhythm soothed her. It sounded so strong, belying his current condition. She lay there, head on Ron's chest lulled by that constant beat until sleep overtook her...

A/N: My second Ron/Hermione. Hope you liked it. This story will definitely be continued.