Mei peered at the bush.
And then peered again.
And then for a third time.
"…Tousan?"
Naruto squeaked, and made violent shushing notions towards her.
She raised an eyebrow and said, very calmly and with an air of superiority that could have made either Kou-niisan or Inoko-neesan very, very proud.
"You can't hide in a bush if you are wearing bright orange."
Then, thoughtfully,
"Hikari tried that the other day. Admittedly, it was when Hina-kaasan was looking for her after she put paint-bombs in Kou's bathroom and helped Akari make a trap with chewing gum so when he came out he got it all stuck in his hair. But I still say it was fair because he told me that the monsters had moved from the futon closet to under my bed. We told her that she would be better running like me or getting Iruka like Akari, but then we got caught anyway 'cause Iruka knows when Akari's being a buttface, and Ino-kaasan runs really, really fast."
Naruto patiently waited till she was done, then stuffed her under the arm that wasn't already holding Teru and ran for it. Along the way, he picked up the other triplets and Shou because they had that freaky I-know-where-you-are-ALWAYS thing and Shou was a stalker (Hinata said it was probably the Byakugan manifesting itself, but Naruto was pretty sure it was just a cool-yet-creepy triplets thing and that Shou was a stalker), Kou because he was coming home from the academy, caught sight of them and presumed they were going on an adventure, Inoko because if Kou was going somewhere, then she had to be there to lead (the squabble was quashed by Kura saying that did they notice tousan looked funny, and then there was a whole other more interesting conversation topic.) Kura because he was with Inoko, and then Taka was at Iruka's anyway when they got there.
"Iruka-senseeeeeiiii!"
Iruka, as a teacher, had a score of students that still called him Iruka-sensei, even if they weren't in his class anymore. However, he only knew one student that did it in that particular tone, that particular volume, and was accompanied by a pack of almost-entirely dark-haired kids. He absent-mindedly swiped an aspirin, dry-swallowed it, and with Taka still balanced on his hip (he had picked that trick up very early), opened the door.
"Naruto I agreed to watch Taka. I didn't –" And then he stopped, took in Naruto's expression, connected it with the date, and wordlessly stepped aside. The kids flooded into his house and then into the back yard, with various shouts of glee or little smirks. He plopped Taka onto the grass too, and went to make tea. Naruto amused his son by using his wind-based chakra to ruffle his hair, and vaguely watched the rest of the kids out of the corner of his eye. Beh, Inoko was a decent medic, she'd fix anything they managed to do scrape or bump-wise, and nobody other than Kou and Kura could use chakra yet except her, and they'd all been banned from experimenting with it after a particularly violent explosion that had wrecked Mother's medicinal herb garden. Naruto had vehemently denied all knowledge, and then been told on by Inoko. Hence the swift kidnapping (was it kidnapping if it was your own child?) this time.
When Iruka returned with the tea for himself and a pop for Naruto (every time he got fed tea, he pulled a face at 'icky leaf juice', and if he did it in front of the kids, some of them would no doubt copy.)
Naruto pulled a face. "Sugar-free, Iruka-sensei? Really?"
Iruka gave him a look.
The I-am-your-teacher-look.
Naruto looked suitably admonished. Sometimes, Iruka was very, very sure that despite being a father and a pack-leader and all the other wonderful things he was, he still didn't eat properly. This suspicion was confirmed whenever he went round for dinner and caught the blond trying to slyly destroy his vegetables when nobody was looking.
Iruka tapped the top of his mug thoughtfully, casting a worried glance to Naruto.
"Well, what's the tally this time?"
"Sasuke-bastard is going to need another mission the amount of chocolate they've been eating, I've fixed three walls, the hospital's put Sakura on leave, Ino has caught three criminals and they surrendered BEFORE they got to Ibiki, Hinata has bashed out three political issues because the council were too scared to say no, and Saki is wearing the OTHER boots."
Iruka winced.
Naruto groaned as he drunk his pop.
"I swear. If I knew that if women live together their periods coincide, I would have made everyone get separate houses."
Iruka stifled a snort.