Justify
a Caryl Drabble
Every time it got worse. Every time he came out of the woods empty-handed, head hung, quiver still full, was even more heart-wrenching than the last. Watching her eyes fill with tears did something to him, something that he could scarcely explain. Christ, if Merle could see him now . . . falling for a woman like Carol.
A broken woman, one who was treated like vermin by her late husband, and now one who had almost certainly lost her daughter. He refused to give up, though. They had to find Sophia – they would. A confused, scared little girl like her couldn't have gone far. Daryl hoped she was hiding up in a tree or in an abandoned campsite like the ones they'd already found. He wasn't sure if Carol would be able to handle any of the other possibilities. A woman who'd been through as much as she had didn't deserve anything like this. He would just have to make sure she didn't have to go through it. He would find Sophia, and he would bring her back to her mother.
As Daryl, Rick, Shane, and Glenn emerged from the forest after another unsuccessful day of searching, Daryl looked up and saw Carol. Her eyes were filled with tears and her entire body shook. She was a sight for sore eyes, and Daryl didn't think he could bear seeing her like that much longer. Despite the setting sun, he made a split-second decision. He jogged up the hill on the side of the highway and came to stand right in front of Carol, who looked up at him with an unnameable expression.
Daryl took her chin in his hand, and she flinched slightly. He couldn't blame her, really, but that small reaction made him boil with anger toward Ed. "Carol," he breathed, "I'm going back out there and I ain't coming back until I find Sophia. You hear me?"
Carol's hands shook as she suddenly wrapped her arms around Daryl's broad body. "Thank you," she cried against his chest, almost silently.
She let him go just as quickly as she had embraced him, and he turned around and headed full-bore back into the forest, ignoring Rick's calls. He heard footsteps behind him and for a while he paid them no attention. When darkness began to settle over the forest, he finally turned, expecting it to be a walker. When he saw who had followed him into the trees, he had to work to keep his jaw from falling to the ground.
"Carol," he said gently, "go back to the group."
She shook her head. "I want to be there when you find her." Her voice was soft, quiet, delicate.
"Damn it, Carol! You can't be out here! Just go!" he shouted, louder than intended. He saw her expression fall, saw the face she always took on when Ed was yelling at her. "Damn it," Daryl muttered to himself as he closed the distance between himself and Carol.
"I will never hurt you," he swore, looking Carol in the eyes. She nodded.
"I know you won't. You care. If you didn't, you wouldn't be out here after dark, looking for my Sophia."
Daryl felt he had to justify his motives to himself. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that he cared deeply for Carol. That wasn't him. Daryl Dixon didn't care about others. Daryl Dixon only cared about himself. How was it, then, that this one woman was changing it all?