Authors' Note: Hello, this is a parody of what would happen if Apollo and Rachel crashed the sun chariot into Rachel's house, told from the point of view from a squirrel. Not just any squirrel, a very a special squirrel. mwahahah.

It was a fabulous day. I was just minding my own business, eating a nut in front of these rich bastards' house when BAM! It happened. I dropped my nut.

As if that wasn't bad enough, these idiots, decided to randomly crash this awesome car into the rich people's house. At first I thought the sky was falling. This big fiery thing was charging towards the house, from the freaking sky, and it was on fire. I obviously thought it was the sun, but I was wrong. As it started to get closer, I saw it was actually a car with two screaming teenagers in it.

A car, falling from the sky.

Fuck logic.

So anyway, two teenagers in a car, a boy and a girl. The girl had this huge red frizzy hair and was screaming hanging onto the sides of the car for dear life, in her school uniform. The boy was behind the wheel, and was hot, for a human. He had blond hair, and rayban sunglasses propped up on his head, which stayed perfectly still despite the fact the he was plummeting towards the ground at 100,000,000 kilometres per hour. His pretty face was ruined by the fact that his teeth were gritted together and he was trying to pull the car up with the wheel. Not working.

How the hell did your car end up in the sky anyway, kid?

Well, because of gravity, the car eventually crashed into the house in a big fiery explosion, blowing it to bits. For some reason I, the awesome little squirrel, survived the huge explosion. Logic must be feeling a little lazy today.

The two kids somehow also survived the crash. They flung right out of the car and almost landed on me. Oh, of course, use the squirrel to break your fall.

The Red Headed girl got up and ran up to the now burning house and yelled; 'MY HOUSE!'

Meanwhile, Blondie ran to the destroyed pieces of what used to be his car, yelling; 'MY CAR! MY BEAUTIFUL SEXY CAR!'

'Oh no, dad's gonna kill me! How am going to even explain this..?' the Red Head put her face in her hands.

'Blame it on global warming.' Blondie waltzed up to Red Head and put his arm around her, 'Isn't that what all you mortals use to explain things?'

'Oh right,' Red Head took her face out of her hands and pushed Blondie's arm away, 'So I go up to dad and say; "Guess what? Global warm caused our house to blow into flames!" Yeah right! You're an idiot, Apollo!' She yelled the last part out so loud, I was sure the sound was bigger than the explosion.

Ouch.

'Well, soo-rry, just trying to help,' Blondie shrugged, and Red Head pulled a sour face at him, it was obvious she was upset about setting her house on fire.

Wait, that was her house? If her parents were rich enough to live (or used to live) in that house, couldn't they afford to do something about her hair? People.

'Apollo, this is serious! Where am I going to live?' Red Head snapped at him.

Blondie's face softened up a little, 'There's always Camp Half-Blood, Rachel.' He said softly.

What the hell was Camp Half-Blood, and what was the idiot smoking when he named it?

'I know,' she nodded, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. Baby. 'But what about my parents, I mean, I don't care about them, but we can't just leave them. And we can't take them to Camp either.'

'Last time I checked, your parents were millionaires, I'm pretty sure they can afford to stay somewhere.' Blondie shrugged. Damn straight.

Red Head looked offended, 'Yeah, I knew that! But how will we explain it?'

'Whoa, we?' Now Blondie looked taken back and offended, 'they're you're parents, not mine!'

'Well, it was your chariot that crashed into my house!'

'Oh shit!' Blondie seemed to remember his car, or chariot. Whatever. 'How am I gonna explain that to Zeus?'

'That's not the main point here! My house is more is important than your stupid Chariot! If you could only have let me catch a cab home then none of this would've happened!' Whoa, Red Head was getting pretty serious.

'Well, excuse me for wanting to be nice and drive you home from school.' Blondie said sarcastically, 'So sorry Rachel.'

'Ugh, shut up! It's your fault we got into this mess and you can't even accept , and you're a god-'

Cue thunder and lightning.

And did she say god?

The two looked up in alarm. Red Head looked worryingly at Blondie. 'Do you think that was Lord Zeus?' She asked, fear in her voice.

'No, it was probably Aphrodite,' Blondie rolled his eyes, which were an awesome shade of blue, 'No duh it was Zeus. What's wrong with him today? Didn't have enough sugar in his morning coffee..?'

Now it was Red Head's turn to roll her eyes, 'Or maybe, just maybe, he's mad at you for crashing into a mortal's house and setting it on fire?'

Blondie thought for a second. 'Nah.'

This kid/god was an idiot.

It all happened quickly. Lightning flashed again.

As for what happened next, I can't explain it. Red Head screamed and grasped Blondie. The ground started rumbling, and I ran and clutched Red Head's butt for balance.

'Apollo!' she screamed, 'The gods are summoning us! Now is not the time to touch my ass!' That was actually me touching it, and hanging on.

'I'm not touching your ass!' Blondie said back to her, smiling, 'But I could if you wanted me too.'

Wow. The world is possibly ending and you recite the world's cheesiest line ever. Real smooth, slick.

Then it was all blurry lights, and stretching and throwing up in mid-air.

Well, after what happened after, lightning and cashing cars into houses seemed normal.

As a little squirrel, I never guessed that I would ever get to go to a meeting in Olympus. Guess I was wrong.

How many of you get to check that off your bucket list?

Reviews are appreciated.