Chapter 1- The Next Revolution
Disclaimer- I do not own Total Drama or Chris McLean or Chef Hatchet or any animal or type of specimen used in this story. The only factors that belong to me are my 24 OC's and the challenges thought out by me. The theme of a war season was suggested to me by my good friend JustinDelisle25 as the start of this new Total Drama universe belonging to GoldEmblem. And please, no stealing my characters. It took me a while to think of them all...
Note: (VERY IMPORTANT! READ THIS!) Welcome to an alternate universe where Total Drama Island never happened. This is a new kind of Total Drama. Total Drama in another universe and this is the first season. You see, this universe is what I call Viewer's Choice, meaning every season I do is a theme you guys suggest. It can be any theme, from alphabeticalized characters to a high school season. Anything as long as it pertains to the Total Drama laws of physics, meaning no fantasy creatures as contestants, because I'm terrible at them. Also, I will not accept a World Tour season as it tends to ruin the other plans I may have for seasons like a London, England season or a China season.
Such themes I can accept are something like Space-Theme, Murder Mystery Theme, or Around the Canadian Provinces themes, etcetera etcetera. It's all up to you :)
This is a rebooted version of the story. And since the original only had one chapter, not much has changed besides the fact that I'm combining the two parts.
Total Drama Boom Boom Revolution is war-themed, as mentioned in the disclaimer if you bothered to read it. And because it is war-themed:
Viewers beware. This season may most likely include remarks deemed too offensive, possible inaccurate history lessons, and all in all, this season might be pretty dark because it's not gonna be child-friendly like Total Drama Supreme.
With that said...sit tight and enjoy!
Day 1- Fresh Meat, Ready To Be Tortured and Humiliated!
Standing amidst a large gated area full of warehouses and grassy floors, a man in his 30s or 20s stood tall and proud, flashing his cheesy trademark grin as he began to start a new era.
"Good morning international television world!" the man exclaimed. "Tis I! Your one and only host, Chris McLean, ready to hit you hard with the first season of the most trending show yet, Total Drama!"
Chris McLean grinned as he checked his watch.
"So here's the deal, right now, 24 colorful yet really strange contestants will be arriving here, an abandoned government area that was originally used for some military stuff back in the day," Chris noted, shrugging. "Not that I care since I flunked history, but what you should care is that our first season will be based on war! That's right! Our 24 contestants will be competing in war-related challenges with hopes and dreams that only one can have: the hope and dream of winning one million dollars!"
So which fresh meat will drop out first?
What war will they cause amongst themselves?
And how long will it take for one of them to kill each other...because seriously dudes and dudettes, we picked some very vicious competitors...
Find out, right now, on...
TOTAL
DRAMA
BOOM BOOM REVOLUTION!
(intro cue)
Chris was back. And right now, he was waiting by the entrance. A little gated area that was covered with sharp thorny vines. He hummed as he checked his watch over and over again.
A bus arrived with the first contestant inside. Chris checked his watch again.
"Huh not bad," Chris noted. "Thought the bus would be a little later."
The first contestant was a medium-sized girl who wore a blue furry coat and a black sailor hat. She had a blonde braided sidecomb hairstyle and wore blue jeans and black boots.
"Carly!" Chris introduced as Carly looked at Chris and then to the scenery.
"Ce n'est pas bien..." Carly shook her head, a worried look on her face.
"Um, what?" Chris asked, confused and not understanding what she just said. Chris was then hit with a moment of realization. "Oh yeah! You're the linguist!"
"¡Si!" Carly nodded. "Estás en lo correcto."
Chris sighed.
"Can you like try speaking a language I understand?" Chris asked. "For example, English?"
Carly sighed.
"Sorry, force of habit," Carly sighed in a thick English accent. "I do love to practice the other languages I know how to speak like Japanese, German, Russian, Ko-"
"Carly, that's interesting and all, but I really don't care," Chris blinked before awaiting the next bus. Carly gave the host a frown.
She began muttering something in Icelandic. Probably something bad.
The next bus dropped off a tall and muscular shirtless man with a red wavy and silky cape. He wore a golden Trojan helmet and had armor on his kneecaps and sandals.
"Argos," Chris introduced. "How's life?"
"As long as there is war, there is no life!" Argos declared.
"I'm pretty sure the Trojans never said that," Chris blinked. "Eh, what do I know?"
"You're a Trojan Warrior?" Carly asked Argos curiously.
"That I am young maiden!" Argos saluted. "Son of Ares and Aphrodite!"
"...If my Roman And Greek philosophy is correct, Ares and Aphrodite technically did not marry each other," Carly said. "They loved each other but Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus."
"Intelligent young maiden," Argos gave a nod. "But I am still the son of Ares! Ready to fight for the Trojans!"
"Trojan war ended a long time ago Argos," Chris blankly stared at him. "It's doesn't take a historian major to figure that out. Speaking of major, our next contestant is one major pain!"
"What did you say?" A really pissed off feminine voice growled. A girl with long blonde hair in a sexy sandy hairstyle appeared wearing a silky white shirt dress and had large ring earrings and brown short boots.
"Oh sh*t," Chris was wide-eyed. "It's Rose!"
Rose scoffed and snorted at Chris.
"Typical of men," Rose crossed her arms. "Always treating us women as the bottom two. Patriarchy will end and women will be equal!"
"But men and women are already equal," Agros said, a little confused.
"We haven't had a US female president yet ever since that red-headed buffoon became president," Rose crossed her arms.
"You mean Trump?" Carly asked in her thick English accent. "I'm not one to speak about politics."
"Do you honestly believe he will make 'America Great Again'?" Rose scoffed. "The nerve of him!"
"Once again, I am not one to speak about politics," Carly shook her head. "Cette fille ne sera pas appréciée..."
"What?" Rose raised an eyebrow at Carly.
"Nothing," Carly shook her head. "Just practicing my French."
Chris was silent through all this. Rose was gonna someone he won't like...then he heard the bus stop for another contestant: a short girl.
"This little girl is Josephine everyone!" Chris introduced.
"I'm not little," Josephine pouted. She had orange long hair with shorts, sports shoes, and a white shirt with the number 'One' on it. She also had freckles. "I am very much the same age as these other contestants...not a little girl."
"Typical of men to call girls little," Rose scoffed.
Carly muttered something in Russian. It was most likely about Rose and was most likely not good.
"Hello there young maiden!" Agros greeted Josephine.
"Hello...Trojan man?" Josephine asked, smiling.
"Trojan Warrior is more like it!" Agros declared. "I shall fight for the sake of Ares! War! War! War! Will stand by my side little girl?"
"I'm not little," Josephine pouted. "And war is bad."
"Typical of men to talk about war and fighting," Rose rolled her eyes. "And typical of males to call women 'little'."
"You already said that," Carly told Rose.
"Hmph, who's side are you on?" Rose asked. "Besides, I will loathe the day I step on men's battlegrounds."
"Well too bad," Chris told Rose and Josephine. "We're on bloody ancient battlegrounds so you might want to watch what you say about the dead male bodies buried underneath us."
Rose looked beyond shocked.
"Males are underneath us?!" Rose gasped.
"Yep!" Chris grinned.
"Dead bodies?!" Josephine gasped. "Why?!"
"Fort Knox was a no no and so was Area 51," Chris shrugged.
"Again, why?!" Josephine cried.
"Um...oh look, our next competitor!" Chris exclaimed.
A young teenaged boy with purple slicked back hair arrived. He had on an eyepatch and wore a black cape. He wore a purple suit, purple pants, a black tie, and black shoes and was grinning in glee.
"This is-"
"I can introduce myself McLean..." the boy cut off Chris as he grinned creepily. "I am Hal! Supreme Leader! And soon when I win, all of you will bow down to me!"
"That introduction sure makes up for you cutting me off," Chris told Hal. "Don't cut me off ever again."
"I make no promises," Hal gave a sneaky smirk. "After all, you will bow down to me too!"
"Ha!" Chris laughed. "That will be the day."
Hal looked at his fellow competitors. Rose glared at him. Josephine looked uncertain. Carly examined him carefully. And Argos waved.
"This competition will be a cinch," Hal smirked.
"Excuse me?" Rose asked, crossing her arms. "Are you assuming us girls will lose?"
"Um, I'm still a guy," Argos pointed out.
"And you will shut up like how you shut us women up when we couldn't vote," Rose crossed her arms.
Argos stepped back. Oof. That hurt.
"I like this girl," Hal laughed. "She's going to be fun..."
Rose scoffed in disgust.
"Stop looking at me you...you guy!" Rose cried.
Carly shook her head as Hal laughed.
"She's adorable!" Hal laughed.
"I am not," Rose crossed her arms.
The next bus arrived with another guy this time. He wore a ripped black jacket without the sleeves and had a bandaged arm. He was muscular and had a ripped white button-up shirt with black pants and black shoes. He had black scruffy hair with a red headband tied around his forehead. He looked bitter.
"This is Diego!" Chris introduced.
Diego walked towards Chris and was quite silent. He was examine the area and his bitter look only deepened.
"The scent of battlegrounds..." Diego frowned. "How I remember it so..."
"Oh my," Josephine examined Diego closely. "What happened to your arm?"
"...Thats a story for another day..." Diego frowned as walked futher and deeper into the group of five contestants.
"Ooh, the mysterious guy with the dark secret," Hal raised an eyebrow as he gave off a grin. "How...provocative."
Diego said nothing.
"You look kinda awesome," Argos grinned as he walked towards Diego. "Name's Argos."
Diego raised an eyebrow at Argos.
"Why are you talking to me?" Diego asked.
"Because I think you're cool?" Argos replied.
"There is nothing cool about a man who has seen things..." Diego muttered, looking the other direction.
"Uh, okay," Argos blinked, confused.
The next bus arrived with a female character. A unique one as well. She wore a half mask on her left side of the face. She had dark brown hair that was tied in a long ponytail and wore a gray T-shirt with black leggings and white sneakers. She pressed her hand on her half mask.
"Kiev!" Chris greeted. "...Um...is it Halloween already? And if it is, why Phantom of the Opera?"
"That isn't very funny Chris," Kiev pressed her mask closely to her cheek. "It's not Halloween and this isn't a costume..."
"Can't one just joke?" Chris whined.
Kiev gave a glare from her right side of her face and walked towards the other contestant.
"Hey Kiev," Josephine waved with a smile. "Name's Josephine!"
"And I'm Argos!" Argos gave a Trojan salute. "Trojan Warrior of the 21st Century and the son of Ares!"
"...Nice...to meet you all," Kiev blinked on the right side of her face. She let go of her hand on her half mask and it stuck to her face.
Rose walked towards Kiev and grabbed her hand, leading her far from Argos.
"Come on Kiev, we don't need you near a guy," Rose told Kiev.
"Um, okay," Kiev raised her eyebrow on her right side of her face. "These people are...odd..."
Diego raised an eyebrow at Rose pushing Kiev away from the guys.
"Not gonna ask," Diego said.
"But I wanna," Hal stared at Kiev. "Her mask looks awesome!"
"I prefer something in copper or gold," Argos shrugged.
The next bus arrived with a girl with the darkest and blackest eyeliner one could see. She wore a black turtleneck sweater with black pants. More prominent was the ocean blue bandana tied over her mouth and the cold look she gave her fellow competitors.
"Sasha everyone!" Chris introduced. "...And quite possibly...the creepiest contestant we have."
"I thank you for the compliment," Sasha's harsh raspy voice told Chris. "...Ever wondered what it will be like in the dark ocean seas? Where the monstrous sea monsters come out at night?
"Not at all," Chris gulped and shivered a bit.
"How about the rest of you?" Sasha's eyes stared at each contestant introduced so far. "Do you enjoy the feeling of darkness when you're underwater?"
"This is surely a stereotype never used before," Hal gave a smirk.
"Oui," Carly nodded. "Je suis d'accord."
After that little exchange, silence.
No one dared reply to Sasha.
"Your silence is quite...comforting to my soul," Sasha narrowed his eyes.
The other contestants gulped.
Yep, Sasha was one odd bird alright, but that didn't stop a purple-haired 'Supreme Leader' wannabe want to have a thought of this.
"She sure is interesting..." he thought.
Another bus arrived this time with an African-Canadian teenager who was brawny and wore a green tight shirt with gray pants and heavy boots.
He had a notable scar across his right eye and across the left side of his lips and was bald.
"Devon!" Chris introduced. "I think you're like our oldest competitor this season. I don't know. It's between you and Diego...wait...no nevermind."
"What, is it because I'm bald?" Devon asked Chris. "Or is it because I'm taller and muscular than you?"
"Eh both," Chris shrugged before looking at him in fear. "You gonna beat me up or something?"
"Nah," Devon crossed his arms. "That's not my moral code. I give those that deserve it a big old beating right in the sucker. Even the girls."
"You would dare to hit a girl?!" Rose gasped.
"If they deserve it," Devon shrugged. "Like those b*tches back home who think they're better than all the other kids and spread rumors and sh*t. They get a deserved beating."
"That sounds both oddly good...and oddly bad..." Hal was interested.
"It's terrible!" Rose frowned. "You can't hit girls!"
"Doesn't that count as equality?" Hal asked, grinning. "Boys get hit. Girls get hit. I thought you being a feminist would appreciate some equality around here!"
He basked in his glory as Rose glared at him.
"Oh shut up you...guy!" Rose frowned.
"Is that best insult you can come up with?" Carly asked in her thick English accent.
"Excuse the social language for not making a curse word that relates to only guys!" Rose complained.
"You and I are gonna get along juuuust fine," Devon rolled his eyes at Rose.
"Don't roll your eyes at me!" Rose cried at Devon.
"She's rather...noisy," Diego said, not even facing her or Devon.
"Tell me about it man..." Argos rubbed his helmet.
Next bus arrived with a female contestant. She was quite pretty and wore a nurse's outfit. She had dirty blonde hair that had a kind of 'spike' with pink shoes and white socks. And her balloons were...big.
Excuse my description female viewers...and I can feel the hate coming from Rose's eyes.
"This is our resident nurse Charlene!" Chris grinned.
Charlene winked at the men of the competition. Argos started to blush.
"Hello boys and girls," Charlene blew kisses to everyone. "If you need some help for a big bad booboo, Miss Charlene will be there to kiss them."
"Ah!" Argos blushed. "This must be the work of Aphrodite! My godly mother is testing me!"
"Those are some big balloons," Hal grinned.
Diego looked away by turning his back on Charlene.
Devon blushed dainty, speechless.
"Stop it!" Rose complained to Charlene. "You're making them become even more lustful!"
"What's wrong with a little sexual tension?" Charlene smirked, mocking Rose. "They are all handsome men..."
Argos blushed harder as Hal's grin widened.
"How about I...expose you to my ba-"
"Next bus!" Chris interrupted.
The next bus came a minute later dropping off several chickens and then a teenaged boy with messy light brown hair, a band-aid on his nose, dirt smudges across his face, and a gapped tooth grin. He wore a striped purple shirt with a light brown vest and light brown dirty pants with worn-out shoes.
"Tucker..." Chris raised an eyebrow. Tucker held a chicken and petted it. The chicken clucked at Chris. "...So...uh...you gonna eat that or eat it's eggs or..."
"You funny," Tucker laughed. "Chickens are not meant to be eaten. Neither were them eggs. Chickens are our friends. Not food."
"The last time someone said that, a shark tried to chase them through a minefield," Kiev said.
"I saw that in a movie once," Devon said.
"I believe a question is to be asked," Carly began. "Why did you bring chickens to a reality TV show?"
"Why not?" Tucker asked.
"Chickens are tasty," Sasha said creepily. "And it's fun to drown them in the sea..."
"...You and I will be enemies..." Tucker blinked at Sasha. That confused expression turned into fear and immediately Tucker stepped back, holding the chicken in his arms.
The chicken cooed and looked at Devon, who stared at it.
"...Don't even think about pecking my head," Devon frowned, noting his bald head.
"F*CK YEAH!" A loud voice boomed. This belong to a big muscular jock with black stripes under his eyes. He had short blond hair and had large furrowed eyebrows. He wore the common football jock clothes and stomped out the bus. "TOTAL DRAMA!"
"RUFUS!" Chris exclaimed loudly.
"HOST MAN!" Rufus screamed as he began laughing. "Hawhawhawhaw! Sorry competition! I just love to roar out my words! Hawhawhawhaw!"
The other competitors were wide-eyed and bewildered. Rufus yelled so loud it took them by surprise.
Tucker was comforting his chicken pet that had earlier squawked and tried to squirm.
"You scared Chica!" Tucker frowned, hugging Chica.
"Sorry man, heh heh, so, how are we gonna do this?!" Rufus asked loudly. "Teams now?"
"We still got more contestants to introduce Rufus, so sit tight and be quiet," Chris told Rufus. Rufus laughed.
"Hawhawhawhaw!" Rufus laughed. "Quiet? You're such a riot!"
"I know, good sense of humor huh?" Chris chuckled.
Josephine examined this and began to think to herself.
This guy is already making headway with the host...if he continues to be friends with the host this might benefit in my favor...or might benefit in my downfall... she thought.
As Rufus turned around, Charlene immediately examined him, winking at him.
"Nice muscles..." Charlene smirked. "May I?"
"Hawhaw!" Rufus laughed heartedly. "Bask in 17 years in the making! My prized muscles of glory!"
"Ooooh," Charlene gave a little giggle and felt his muscles.
Rose gave a glare at this but decided not to do anything about it. Besides, she's already annoyed enough people...
The next bus arrived and no one came out. At least, not yet.
"Come on lady, you gotta get out there!" a voice called.
"N-no!" a small soft voice yelled inside. Immediately, a young teenaged Japanese female was pushed out, looking terrified and petrified. She had a bushy dark brown ponytail with a black school uniform complete with a dark blue dress, black high knee socks, and brown shoes.
"Shoko," Chris blinked.
"Um...what happened back there? Was the driver being harsh on you?" Rose asked Shoko. "I'll pound him if he did!"
"I...don't...want...to be...here," Shoko was frozen in fear.
"If you didn't want to be here, why the hell did you sign up?" Diego asked, his voice stern and serious.
Shoko's lips quivered.
"I...was...kinda...forced to d-do it..." Shoko shivered.
"By?" Rose asked, expecting an answer.
"...The b-b-boys...at the...o-orphange," Shoko said softly and scared.
"Aha!" Rose cried. "Boys! I knew It! Do not worry Shoko! I will punish them...physically..."
"D-d-don't d-do that!" Shoko was surprised. "I...I um...I d-did strike a d-deal with them..."
"A deal?" Tucker asked. The chicken he held looked at Shoko.
"Yes...we all s-s-sent audition t-tapes...and mine was ch-ch-chosen..." Shoko gulped.
"And what a choice I made," Chris smiled. "This little season you're in will change your weak and puny demeanor...if you stay long enough for it...haha!"
"You're a monster McLean!" Rose jabbed her index finger at him. "A no-good monstrous guy!"
"I repeat my earlier question...is that the best insult you can come up with?" Carly asked in her thick English accent.
"Repeat it no matter what, she won't listen," Hal gave a smile.
The next bus arrived and drove off, dropping off a lanky teenager wearing square glasses, having short blonde hair, and all in all an average look with the shorts, white T-shirt, and long black socks that went with his shoes.
"This is Thomas everyone!" Chris laughed. "Quite possibly a boring competitor."
"Boring?" Thomas gave a hurt look. "Why is tha-whoa!'
Thomas fell to the ground with a hard thud.
"Just kidding," Chris laughed. "Seeing you get hurt might make up for when I have a bad day."
"That's not fair," Thomas groaned.
The next bus arrived and ran over his foot that was conveniently laying on the side of the road. Thomas winced in pain as the other competitors groaned. Even Chris looked shocked.
"Okay, even for me, that was bad," Chris blinked.
Rufus ran over to Thomas and helped him up.
"Hey Accident-Prone!" Rufus called as he helped him. "You alright or what?"
"I'm totally fine," Thomas gave a small smile. "Thanks for helping me u-agh!"
Thomas fell again, mainly cause his foot hurt. Rufus helped him up again.
"Three in a row!' Rufus called. "You have the worst luck!"
"Tell me about it..." Thomas groaned.
The bus that had just arrived dropped off a petite African-Canadian boy who gulped. His shirt and pants were in tatters and quite ripped as well. His hair was short line-up and he wore some worn-out sneakers.
"Is this Total Drama?" the boy asked.
"Yes it is Rigby," Chris nodded. "And you're our 15th competitor! Now head on to the other group of colorful and interesting people."
Rigby nodded with a small smile and stopped when he saw the other competitors.
"Um...hi?" Rigby gulped.
"It's another male gender," Rose yawned.
"Hello there young child," Hal leaned closer to Rigby with a devilish smirk. "Will you care for a little lesson as to why I, Hal, Supreme Leader, am the best leader in the world?"
"Uh..." Rigby gulped and then saw Devon who narrowed his eyes at Rigby and then Diego, who didn't seem to acknowledge his presence. "Oh boy...this is will be fun..."
"Hawhawhaw!" Rufus ran over to Rigby whilst carrying Thomas. "You bet it will be little dude! A competition for a million bucks will be awesome! Hawhawhawhaw!"
"Not for me..." Thomas groaned.
Rigby looked at the camera that was there cause, reality TV.
"Hmm," Charlene examined Rigby. "Quite a messy boy...I'm wondering if he's good at old-fashioned sex?"
"You are disgusting!" Rose frowned at Charlene.
"But that's part of human life," Argos told Rose. "Even the gods did it."
"Like I would listen to a guy," Rose crossed her arms.
"She talks too much," Thomas blinked at Rose.
"Welcome to the club," Carly nodded, having been next to them.
The sixteenth bus arrived with a girl who had on a light brown vest with a white shirt underneath. Her pants were blue and she wore a pair of army boots. Her hair was light brown and tied back into a long ponytail.
"Teri!" Chris introduced.
"...Can I get you anything?" Teri asked.
"...What?" Chris asked.
"...Can I get you anything?" Teri asked.
"...A latte will be nice?" Chris asked, a little confused. Teri zoomed off quickly. "Um...okay...guess we'll have to wa-wha?!"
Teri arrived back quickly with latte. Chris looked at this, grabbed it and took a sip. He blinked. It was...delicious.
"You know Teri...I might just start to like you," Chris chuckled.
"As you wish Mr. McLean," Teri saluted.
"...But then people might think I'm evil for taking advantage of a contestant," Chris sighed. "It's like Tad Cummins with that one student he kidnapped or something."
Hal looked at Teri and immediately thoughts began to form around his mind. And his mind is my mind so we're all forming thoughts in our minds...Bagels.
"Hello Teri, nice to meet you," Kiev walked over to Teri and offered to shake hands. Teri stared at Kevi for a while. "Oh gosh, it's my face isn't it? Is my face really that bad?!"
"Would you want me to answer honestly?" Teri asked.
"Please do," Kiev nodded as she covered the masked part of the face.
"Your face is beautiful," Teri answered. "Why are you hiding one part of it?"
Kiev turned away and trotted off.
"...I see," Teri gave an emotionless blink.
The next bus arrived with a male wearing glasses and having small facial hair. He was quite thin and had on a baseball cap with the American flag on it and had red hair underneath the cap. He wore blue jeans, and a red and white T-shirt and had on some sneakers. He cheered.
"Yeah!" the male cried. "Canada! Total Drama! I'm so psyched!"
"Anderson everyone!" Chris exclaimed. "An American tourist who found out about Total Drama and decided to audition in. What fun!...Are you here to make fun of Canadians?"
Anderson looked surprised.
"What?!" Anderson gasped. "No! Canada is like the bombest place ever! I took pictures of like the Niagara Falls, the beavers that attacked some Canadian citizens, the goose that chased a little boy, and like 14,440 maple leaf pictures!"
"You...counted them all?" Chris was wide-eyed. "What kind of math did you take?"
"Nah, I just did an estimate," Anderson crossed his arms. "I'm not good with math. But what I am good at is having fun! CANADA! OH YEAH!"
"YEAH!" Rufus cheered, dropping Thomas to the ground. "CANADA! MY COUNTRY!"
"...Yay," Diego emotionlessly said.
"Wow, buzzkill," Anderson frowned at Diego.
Diego looked the other direction, not caring.
"Total buzzkill," Anderson frowned.
"No one likes a buzzkill!" Rufus laughed. "HAWHAWHAW!"
Anderson laughed as he grinned at Rufus.
"I love this guy!" he grinned.
"Whoa there now," Rufus stopped laughing and looked at Anderson. "I'm not...you know..."
"Chillax dude," Anderson grinned at Rufus. "It's just a saying!"
"Is it?!" Rufus grinned. "Then I like this guy too!"
He and Anderson started bro-hugging each other.
The other contestants and Chris gave them blank expressions.
"Um...yeah..." Chris took another sip of the latte Teri gave him.
The next bus arrived that tossed out a duffel bag.
"Hey, take it easy with that!" a rash feminine voice cried. This female had black hair that was tied into a long pony tail. What's prominent about her was the fact that a part of her hair were bangs that covered her left eye and had been dyed red. She wore a leather jacket and had a black dress with black stockings and boots. A black T-shirt was underneath.
"Lana!" Chris exclaimed. He then began to hum a song... "Lana Banana, it's Lana..."
Lana took no acknowledgment of this and looked at her competition.
"You all look like some interesting bunch!" Lana grinned. "Wanna buy mah trinkets?"
"Trinkets?" Devon asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're telling me you're just here to sell some random stuff?"
"Haha!" Lana laughed. "They aren't just any random stuff!"
"This should be good," Sasha rubbed her hands together.
"Can I take a peek?" Rigby asked Lana.
"Sure thing little messy dude," Lana grinned. "Have a look at mah trinkets o wonder!"
Lana unzipped her duffel bag and Rigby peeked, excited...but that excitement died quickly.
"You sell...weapons?!" Rigby jumped back.
Lana got out a big AK-47.
"Hahaha!" Lana gave a determined grin. "You bet I do! I got everything! Except nuclear bombs. No one wants that nowadays except that guy in North Korea."
"The catastrophe," Argos was shocked into fear.
"She could kill us all!" Thomas screamed a high-pitched scream.
"Kill?" Lana laughed. "You all are full of it! I don't kill! Killing don't get you money! Selling weapons that can, will..."
Diego narrowed his eyes at Lana, who didn't noticed this. The other contestants stayed far away from Lana as possible...especially from that bag of weapons.
Chris meanwhile was looking through his contract.
"Please don't get me sued, please don't get me sued, please don't get me sued," Chris muttered. And after that...
BOOM!
"Now what?!" Chris groaned.
"This must be the work of a guy!" Rose declared.
"No, it's the work of a girl," Carly crossed her arms, speaking in her thick English accent.
Carly was correct.
The next bus had blown up and hopping out was a girl with the wildest red hair on the planet. She laughed as she came out in a straitjacket that was too long for her sleeve-wise. She also wore white but ashy pants and white shoes and had dazed green eyes.
"HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!" the girl danced around.
"...Diane everyone," Chris blinked.
"You invited a bunch of psychopaths Chris," Josephine crossed her arms. "We have a girl who sells weapons and a crazy maniac! Someone is gonna die here!"
"I agree with Shortcake over there," Diego said, looking the other direction before turning and baring his bandaged arm. "Selling weapons is an offense to our country!"
"I'm not short..." Josephine pouted.
"Hey hey hey, selling weapons isn't so bad," Lana crossed her arms. "A bunch of people want to protect themselves nowadays from them nasty house robbers and sh*t."
"...Uh huh..." Diego narrowed his eyes at Lana again.
"Hey guys!" Diane rushed over to the contestants. Rigby hid behind Devon. "This is Total Drama! Oh wow! My psychiatrists and therapists didn't think I would be accepted! Hah hah hah hah! This is a wonderful place! Like really really wonderful! I can smell the dead bodies from a mile away!"
"Dead bodies?!" Thomas cried fearfully.
"Hah hah hah!" Diane laughed. "My nose is like...awesome! I can sniff out the smell of death from below us!"
Sasha rubbed her hands together devilishly.
"Is that so?" Sasha asked.
"I kinda don't want to be here anymore," Tucker gulped. "It's not safe for Chica..."
He caressed his chicken on the head.
"I...n-n-never wanted t-to b-be here..." Shoko shivered.
"As much as I understand your...sense of fear...your contract says you have to stay until you get eliminated," Chris said. "And no quitting. That was fixed in the contract a long time ago."
"Damn it!" Tucker groaned.
"COWABUNGA!" a scream called. And suddenly something fell on Thomas. It was a male with a pilot's costume complete with the goggles and had light brown curved and wavy hair. A small notable mustache could be noted.
"That's what I get for not bringing a parachute," the male said.
"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Anderson trotted over in excitement and glee. "Like...TOTE AWESOME!"
"Naha!" the male hopped back to his feet. "Name's Flynn! Pilot-in-training! And I gotta say...thank you for breaking my fall skinny man."
Thomas muffled something in the ground as he raised a thumbs-up.
"Why couldn't Amelia Earhart be here?" Rose muttered. "She was a totally better pilot than this wannabe."
"Are you kidding me?" Flynn asked Rose. "Amelia Earhart is like the goddess of pilots! It's a shame she went missing though..."
"Yes...it is," Rose narrowed her eyes at Flynn.
"Anata wa furin hajimemashite," Carly walked over to Flynn, giving a smile.
"Naha!" Flynn chuckled. "...I have no idea what that means!"
"It means 'nice to meet you'," Lana smiled. The others looked at her. "What? If you're gonna sell loads of weapons, you're gonna attract people from different countries."
"That makes sense," Devon nodded at Lana.
"Wow, French girl huh?" Flynn asked, grinning. "That's nice..."
"Um, and what is that supposed to mean?" Rose crossed her arms. "You're a sexual predator aren't you?!"
"Lady, you need to relax," Devon told Rose.
"Relax *burp* ?" a voice asked. The next bus had dropped off a male who seemed to be dazed. He had messy light green hair with small hints of facial hair. He had green eyes, a blue T-shirt, and khaki pants. He also wore sneakers.
"Bosley!" Chris grinned before smelling something awful. "Is that...alcohol?!"
"Totally man *hiccup*," Bosley showed Chris a canteen of an alcoholic beverage that I do not wish to explain. "Want some?"
"Alcohol makes my face wrinkly," Chris said.
"Aren't you a little underaged for drinking?" Carly asked.
"Nonsense," Hal chuckled before grinning. "When I become overlord, alcohol will be available for 13 year olds!"
"Change 'when' to 'if' and then I'm good," Josephine told Hal. Hal gave a teasing smirk at Josephine who shrank back in disgust.
"Whoa...*hiccup*, " Bosley groaned. "Why are there...three of *burp* you each? Ah it doesn't *rumble* matter. To answer your q-question *burp*. I'm actually 21...so I think I'm *belch* allowed to drink.."
"You...think," Kiev looked at Bosley uncertain.
He dazed around as Chris cringed.
"Um, yeah," Chris pushed Bosley slowly to the contestants. "You stay over there."
"Aye *hiccup* aye!" Bosley dazed around.
The contestants stood away from him as Chris awaited the next contestant...who was right behind him.
"Yipes!" Chris jumped.
The contestant was a female with blonde hair and looked to be of Russian descendant. She had a beauty mark above the right side of her lips and her hair was in the style of a crown braid. She wore a type of green army uniform complete with a green army cape and army boots.
"This is Total Drama no?" the female spoke in her Russian accent.
"Natalya!" Chris chuckled sheepishly. "You're at the right place!"
"...Good," Natalya walked over to the contestants. "My name is Natalya Markov. Remember it. For it is the name of the true winner of Total Drama Boom Boom Revolution."
"Nyahahahaha," Hal laughed. "Boom Boom...nyahahahaha."
"You dare laugh at Natalya Markov?" Natalya looked at Hal with threatening eyes.
"Laughing is certainly not illegal when I become ruler of this God-forsaken planet," Hal smirked.
"Hmph," Natalya frowned at Hal. "I shall remember this Purple-Haired Annoying Person. For Natalya Markov never loses without a fight."
Hal gave a sly grin at Natalya.
Devon narrowed his eyes at Natalya. Natalya looked back and narrowed her eyes back.
"Ooh, is this a narrowing eye contest?!" Hal grinned. "Let me join! Let me join!"
He narrowed his eyes at both Devon and Natalya as they frowned.
"Uh huh," Devon frowned.
Chris blinked at all of them. Strange yet vicious competitors.
"Let's do this!" a voice cried.
Out came a teenaged boy with a blue hoody. He was brawny, had messy yet curved black hair, blue jeans, and sports shoes. The accessory he held? A whistle. The boy blew the whistle as Chris covered his ears.
"Rocky!" Chris cried. "Don't blow off my precious eardrums!"
"Huh huh," Rocky chuckled. "Sorry Chris, even when I'm not training someone, I still love my whistle! It makes me feel in charge!"
Hal gave a chuckle and then a smirk as Rocky examined the contestants.
"We all got some strong competitors here," Rocky nodded. "This will be fun."
"You said it!" Rufus cried. "I'm IN it to WIN it!"
"That enthusiasm might die soon," Chris gave a light chuckle.
Rocky looked around.
"So, we done here?" Rocky asked. "Is this all of us?"
"There is just one more," Chris smiled. "And here she is!"
The final bus dropped off a girl of the Asian ethnicity. She had on the classical white Chinese martial art uniform and had on white socks with sandals. Her hair was black and had two large pigtails. She got into a fighting position.
"HAIYAH!" the girl cried.
"Hiya to ya too," Chris smiled. "Our last contestant, Ying!"
"Greetings to you all," Ying bowed to her opponents. "You all look to be worthy opponents. As such, I hope we will all play fair...may the best opponent win..."
"Huh, morality," Diego said. "Respectful, yet useless..."
"Nyahahaha!" Hal laughed. "Morality? Fairness? That's nothing more than just a kid's tale!"
"What do you mean?" Ying narrowed her eyes at Hal.
"No one plays fair anymore," Hal flipped his cape in a mocking style. "In fact, when I become king of this world, fairness would be extinct, just like chivalry!"
And at that sudden, the fourth wall shook a bit. Someone wanted to prove Hal wrong. I wonder who?
"Wow, Hal's words seemed to have some impact on the fourth wall," Chris blinked. "Maybe he isn't some loser who claims to be the ruler of this Earth."
"Nyahahaha!" Hal laughed.
Diego groaned.
"Your laugh gives me a headache," Diego frowned.
"I agree with the crippled man," Natalya frowned. "Purple-Haired Annoying Person is getting on my nerves."
"All men get on my nerves," Rose shook her head.
"You got on my nerves 15 minutes ago maiden," Argos shook his head at Rose.
"Okay, zip it you all!" Chris cried. "You're all getting on my nerves."
Everyone went into silence Diane continued to laugh.
"Ignoring Diane, let's begin," Chris clapped his hands together. "Welcome to Total Drama Boom Boom Revolution! Right now if you hadn't noticed, we're at the Wawanakwa Military Camp, where the Canadian army fought against the indigenous Wawanakwa Tribe."
"Um, I don't recall this in our history textbook," Thomas told Chris.
"You actually believed the history textbook?" Chris asked. "They spread lies! Even I, a history flunkee, knew that Christopher Columbus didn't found America. The Vikings did!"
True fact. Learned that from my history teacher.
"He didn't find America?!" Thomas was shocked.
"Actually he did," Josephine stood up front. "But the Vikings were the first."
"History lesson aside, for your sakes and the viewers sake, we were asked to give you a tour of the place," Chris told the 24 contestants. "So let's begin..."
"This is the cafeteria!" Chris grinned. "This is where you'll eating for the season."
He sniffed the air.
"Ah...smells like oil!" Chris grinned.
Cockroaches scurried around as the cafeteria joint itself looked pretty fine. It wasn't bad...but it wasn't good either. For one, cockroach infestation.
"Ewwww!" Charlene gasped. "Cockroaches!"
A rat scurried as well.
"A rat!" Rigby pointed.
A chicken was digging in the trashcan.
"A chicken!" Rocky cried.
"Chica!" Tucker cried, rushing over to the chicken. "Git out of that trashcan. Trash isn't good for a young chicken like ya..."
"Yeah, they deserve to be fed seeds...so we can fatten them up and cook em," Sasha rubbed her hands creepily.
"I LOVE CHICKEN!" Diane laughed. "HAH HAH HAH HAH! THEY ARE TASTY!"
"No no no!" Tucker hugged Chica close to him. "Chica is mah pal! You ain't eating her!"
"Haha," Anderson laughed. "Back in America, chickens are like, one of the main courses."
"Y'all git away from me!" Tucker held Chica close. Chica squawked a bit.
"Ignore the chicken and pay attention!" Chris exclaimed.
Everyone stared at Chris. Diane was laughing.
"24 contestants...why couldn't it be 22 and on an island somewhere," Chris groaned.
"The producers thought the characters were too obvious," a dark-skinned muscled chef walked over. "People saw some fat chubby dude being the finalist a mile away."
"This is Chef Hatchet everyone," Chris introduced Chef. "He's gonna be your cook."
"You're darn right!" Chef cried. "In my kitchen, you sit down and eat. No complaining! No whining! Eat!"
"Sounds like he's trying to fatten us up," Kiev said, covering one side of her face with her mask.
"Being fat isn't good," Rocky shook his head. "It will take forever to get all that carbs off."
"The Trojans feasted till they slumbered, never till they bloated!" Argos declared.
"Uh huh," Chris blinked. "Now if you'll follow me..."
Chris led the contestants to a type of secret hatch. It was by a hill and a flag was near it.
"Wanna know what this is?" Chris asked.
"A secret hatch?" Devon asked.
"A bunker?" Josephine asked.
"A sewer manhole?" Anderson asked. Everyone blankly stared at him. "Um I'm American. Helloooo..."
"This leads to your Confessional," Chris grinned. "It's where you can reveal game plans, strategy, and what you're feeling about specific contestants. Be sure to give us all the dirt...viewers love that."
Inside the Confessional would be the design of darkness, with dim lights and a comfy chair. It was...overwhelming a little. Especially since you had to climb a ladder to get down.
Confessional: This is a new universe? AWESOME...
Josephine: First Confessional. (crosses her arms and smiles) I'm Number One, again. To all you viewers, I may be just a short little girl, but I got straight A's in every subject, was the main MVP of my soccer and baseball team, and I'm just pure number one. This competition...is mine for the taking. (rubs her hands)
Anderson: (whistles) Wowee. This place is great! Feels cold. Looks dark. Smells...(coughs) salty. (grins) AWESOME!
Thomas: (falls and groans) Why did the Confessional have to involve ladders? Me and ladders have bad history. Like, very bad history. I once got hit on the head by a ladder when I was 2. Mom told me I had to stay at the hospital for a month...is that why I can't recall a month of my 2 year old self?
Rigby: (nervous) Oh boy. This is the first time I've been away from my foster family, so relatively, I don't know much about the world. They always keep me...shut-in.
"So Chris," Flynn began. "Where will we be staying? I kinda wanna sit back and relax."
They were heading someplace.
"Sorry cadet," Chris turned around and immediately he was wearing sunglasses and a hat.
"Um, what?" Lana raised an eyebrow.
"Did he just call me a cadet?" Flynn asked.
"You're wondering about that?" Rigby asked Flynn. "How'd he change so fast?"
"No time for that," Chris grinned. "It's time for your first challenge!"
"Already?!" Rose cried.
"But we didn't get settled in yet," Thomas groaned.
"When you're war, you don't have time to 'get settled'," a harsh voice said. A man in his 50s arrived, maybe 50s, he's about the same age as Chef Hatchet. He had a gray and white flattop with full-on general's uniform. He also had a gray mustache.
"Gah!" Thomas screamed. "Who the heck are you?!"
"Sh*t," Lana cried. "The cops found me!"
Everyone slowly turned their heads to Lana.
"Is what I would've said if I really was number 8 on the RCMP list of Most Wanted people..." Lana chuckled.
"Ignoring that, everyone, this is our special guest for the season," Chris grinned. "His name is Eugene Ral."
"General Eugene Ral," Ral saluted. He snapped his fingers and immediately some interns arrived. Six interns in fact.
"Ah, and yes, our interns," Chris grinned. "It will be fun to mess with these guys."
Now, if you read Total Drama Supreme, you would remember Albert, Leon, and Steven.
But also with them, a red-strap jock, an eggheaded brainiac, and a chubby blonde kid with the maple leaf on the back of his shirt.
"Yeah!" the jock cried. "Team Extreme! The best interns in town!"
"More like the best slaves in town," the brainiac crossed his arms.
"I love this place!" the chubby kid cheered.
"Owen, beneath us are full of dead people," the brainiac told the chubby kid named Owen.
"Dead people," Albert shivered. "Like the Catacombs in Paris."
"Intriguing place," Leon tapped his forehead. "They're offering it as a place to stay for a night."
"Seriously?' Steven asked.
"Tyler, Owen, Noah, Albert, Leon, and Steven everyone," Chris introduced. "Quite annoying I must say. Now that useless people are away, heh heh, that rhymed. Ahem, Ral will be your challenge coordinator. Meaning he's gonna judge how well you do by saying who wins and who loses. Ral, take us away to our first challenge!"
Ral crossed his arms.
"...Ugh, General Ral," Chris groaned. "Take us away to our first challenge."
"As you wish," Ral cleared his throat. "Alright maggots. Pay attention to me!"
"The Catacomb thing was getting good though..." Sasha crossed her arms.
"I LOVE DEAD BODIES!" Diane grinned, flapping her straitjacket around. "Will we see any today?"
"...No," Ral replied. He looked at Chris. "You gave me a bunch of delinquents to work with."
"We can hear you y'know," Rigby called.
"Don't care..." Ral said. "Look over there..."
Just a few meters away from where they were was a Starting Line. And at the end was a Finish Line. It was an obstacle course. With...very...very dangerous things.
"...How did no one question that?" Thomas asked. "It was like, right in front of us."
"It doesn't work well with the plot," Rocky shrugged.
"That is your first challenge," Ral said. "You must do a huddle across those tires, however, inside some tires are traps, next, it's a jog across the minefield, where you must watch your step or boom."
Diane laughed when Ral said that.
"After the mines, it's a crawl under that barbed wire," Ral explained. "It's very painful. After that, monkey bars to avoid the piranhas the interns placed in the water below it, and then it's a huddle to the finish. I call this, Drill Training."
"You heard the general, Drill Training," Chris grinned. He clapped his hands. "Let's do this!"
Confessional: I can never do Drill Training. 60 seconds of planks hurts.
Rufus: (grinning) Drill Training. Hawhaw! This will be easy! It's just like drill training for football season!
Shoko: (shivering) The course looked...hard. I-I-I don't think I can do it...
Albert: (sits back) Course took a while to set up. Got my hands to bleed setting up the barbed wires. (shows scars on the palms of his hand)
"Now, General Ral and I will start the challenge as soon as I finish drinking my latte that Teri oh so happily handed to me," Chris grinned.
Teri bowed at Chris.
"Your welcome Mr. McLean," Teri bowed.
"Just Chris will do Teri," Chris blinked before continued to sip.
Rocky and Rufus looked at each other and grinned.
Confessional: Double R's equal potential Ridonculous Race team.
Rocky: I think I found my friendly rival (grins).
Rufus: Hawhawhaw! Rocky thinks he can beat me? Hawhawhaw! He's gonna have to try really hard to do that!
"This challenge looks rather painful," Kiev muttered beside Rose who placed a hand on her shoulder.
"As long as you're with me and not some guy, you'll be safe," Rose smiled at Kiev.
"May I join?" Charlene smiled at Rose and Kiev.
"You're a gal, so of course!" Rose smiled cheerfully.
Charlene smiled in gratitude as Kiev chuckled.
"We're gonna be one heck of a team huh?" Kiev chuckled.
"You bet so," Charlene nodded at Kiev.
Confessional: There are no teams yet though...
Charlene: Kiev and Rose? Both very valuable allies. I could potentially use them...and then boot them and score for the million dollars all the way to the top. And also flirt with some of the most handsome guys here on the show. I've laid my eyes on several of them lucky guys. (winks at the camera)
Kiev: Charlene. I don't know what to think about her. She's quite flirtatious from the looks of her introduction, so maybe she might either be someone useful, or someone useless...only time will tell.
After Chris finished his latte, the 24 contestants got ready at the starting line. Chris grinned as he held the starter pistol.
"On your marks...
...
get set
...
...
...
GO!" Chris shot the pistol. A bullet came out and bent down hitting a mine which in turn blew up another mine and then another and then another before leaving a huge gap in the minefield part of the course.
Ral shook his head at Chris.
"Who gave me a real pistol instead of a starter one?" Chris frowned.
Leon laughed mischeiviously.
"Dude, that took a while to set up," Noah frowned.
"Yeah, which is why it's funny," Leon laughed.
The loud booming sound scared Shoko as she screamed, stopping in the middle of the tire part.
Rufus and Rocky were racing each other. Rufus had veins popping out of his head which showed how determined he was. Rocky was giving side glances at Rufus...until suddenly Rocky fell thanks to a bear trap that clung to his leg.
"YOW!" Rocky groaned. "Bear traps?!"
"Man, you alright?" Rufus stopped but when he stopped, his foot got caught in a mousetrap. "OW!"
Rufus fell onto another tire, butt first.
"OWWW!" Rufus groaned as more mousetraps caught into his posterior.
Hal laughed as he ran past Rufus and Rocky.
"My my," Hal laughed. "That is brutal..."
A plank shot up and Hal bumped face-first into it. He groaned.
Thomas fell into every tire. Luckily none of the tires had traps.
...
Spoke too soon. Thomas fell into a tire that had a snake burrowed in it. The snake wrapped around his neck as Thomas screamed.
Kiev, Rose, and Charlene turned to see this happen. They winced.
"Ooh, that must suck," Kiev groaned.
"It's about time those men get what they deserve," Rose ran past Kiev and Charlene.
The three made it past the tires and stopped when they found the minefield blow up. It was now a gap. They could either climb down and climb back up...or jump and risk breaking an ankle.
"Great, now what?" Charlene asked.
Josephine ran past the three and took a leap before making it through the other side.
"Number one!" Josephine cheered.
"That short girl sure knows how to take a leap," Charlene scratched her head.
"Oh, do you three need some assistance?" a voice asked.
It was Teri, and she looked rather helpful.
"We just need to find a way to get a across," Kiev told Teri. "Think you can help us?"
Teri nodded and ran back.
Thomas was still struggling with the snake choking him to death when suddenly Teri came and grabbed the snake, unwrapping it's coil around Thomas's neck.
"T-thanks..." Thomas groaned.
"For what?" Teri asked before running off to the three.
"A snake?" Rose asked, crossing her arms.
Teri used the snake as a lasso and tossed it to the other side...and boy...it was a long snake. The snake sank it's fangs into the rock as Teri used the snake as a swing.
"Here you go," Teri handed the snake tail to Rose from afar.
"That's...brilliant," Rose grinned. "Gross and weird...but brilliant."
As Teri ran off, Kiev, Rose, and Charlene grabbed on.
"You know, I would've preferred being with a guy, but at least we're in the top five," Charlene shrugged.
Rose pushed Charlene off before they even swung.
"Hey, what the hell?" Charlene glared at Rose.
"Sorry, but anyone who prefers to be touched by men should take the next ride!" Rose told Charlene as she swung across with Kiev.
Charlene was wide-eyed but started glaring at Rose.
"Weren't...you a bit mean?" Kiev asked Rose as they hurried to the next part of the Drill Training.
"Not at all!" Rose shrugged.
Confessional: Yes...definitely was not acting like a bee-yatch!
Rose: I can't understand why some women enjoy being touched by men! It's putrid! Disgusting! And it symbolizes how men continue to dominate women! I will not be used by a man!
Kiev: And so my first friend happens to hate men...that's reassuring in some ways yet not reassuring at all. For one, it's reassuring that I don't get assaulted by men, assuming if Rose knows how to pack a punch which I assume she does, and second, it's not reassuring in case I want to date someone. I've seen shows like this, it sometimes ends up with two contestants dating one another...do you think Rose might be le-
Rigby was having trouble with the tires. One step at a time.
He repeated that phrase to himself.
"One step at a time...one step at a time...one step at a-ooh, a dime!" Rigby placed his hand in the tire to pick up a dime but suddenly a snapping turtle came out and bit his hand. Rigby screamed. "YOW!"
Rigby screamed in pain as the turtle lodged its sharp teeth on Rigby's hand. Rigby screamed in pain as he waved his hand, trying to get it off.
"I got you!" Devon came by Rigby and pulled the turtle off.
"Thanks Devon," Rigby winced at his bruised hand.
"No problem," Devon nodded at Rigby with a smile. "A man's gotta look out for other men. Now let's go."
Rigby nodded and followed Devon.
Confessional: It would be better if Devon's name was Mordecai.
Rigby: (shivering) This Confessional thing is rather...cold (clears throat) Well anyway, I have to say, getting bit by a snapping turtle wasn't exactly on my To-Do List. Devon seems to be a cool guy. He honors the code of men. That's something. I don't know much about it. But from what I learned from him, he isn't afraid to hurt women. I think that may be a problem...then again, we all have faults. (smiles softly)
Lana stepped on a tire and her eyes widened in horror.
"Oh man, I sold someone one of these bombs..." Lana groaned as she was blown up in the air, landing back a few tires back. She landed in another tire and got up...only that was a problem. "What the...SUPER GLUE?!"
"ULTRA GLUE!" a random intern called offscreen. It was Steven.
"WHY?!" Lana groaned.
"Chris told us to do it!" Steven said, offscreen.
"I thought it was Leon's idea," Albert whispered, also offscreen.
"Stop blaming me for everything!" Leon's voice could be heard.
Lana shook her head and just groaned. For one, the tire was stuck to her rear posterior. Second, it was very uncomfortable.
"You aren't gonna get far in that," Diego ran past her as he referred to the tires.
"Shut it," Lana pouted. "You don't look happy yourself."
"I'm never happy," Diego gave Lana a look before heading off.
"Don't worry Chica," Tucker held Chica the chicken as he ran. "I'll protect you!"
As soon as he said that, he tripped and landed in a tire. His screams and the snaps of mousetraps could be heard. Chica the chicken meanwhile...was unharmed.
So no foul play involved. Haha!
"HAH HAH!" a feminine voice pointed and laughed at Tucker. Diane. "That was funny! That was really really funny!"
Tucker groaned.
"No...it wasn't..." Tucker groaned.
Confessional: Yes it was! XD
Tucker: That girl is like, really crazy. Even man Chica seemed scared. (pets Chica the chicken as she clucks)
Diane: (her face is squishing the camera) HELLO DOCTOR GORDON! GUESS WHO'S ON TOTAL DRAMA?! HAH HAH! I'LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN HERE! Doctor Gordon is my hot psychiatrist! He's totally fun! He makes me play games and he seems to enjoy me!
Josephine made it past all the tires. She sighed in relief.
"Wow, a real-life Canadian lady!" Anderson made it as well, gawking over Josephine. "...Kinda shorter than I thought to be."
"I'm not short!" Josephine frowned. "I just haven't reached my growth spurt yet!"
"In other words, you're short," Diego arrived later as well. He rubbed his bandaged fist. "Now...how the hell do we get over?"
"We can always use that snake on the ground," Anderson grinned at the...most likely dead snake on the ground.
"The snake shed its skin already," Josephine shrugged. "It won't be much use."
"Oh, so that snake's not dead?" Anderson asked. "Wow, Canadian snakes are so fascinating!"
"They do that in America as well you ding-dong!" Josephine frowned.
Seeing how the gap was a six-foot fall, Diego groaned.
"You're wasting time talking to one another," Diego shook his head. "I'm climbing this damn thing."
Josephine and Anderson looked at one another.
Confessional: So he's gonna climb down...then he's gonna climb up. Okay...
Anderson: That guy is both a bummer and one cool-looking dude...AWESOME!
Josephine: (pouting) I am not short.
Josephine and Anderson watched as Diego climbed down to the ground.
"So, should we follow?" Anderson asked.
"It's too slow, we need a quicker way of going across," Josephine began to think...but then:
"WOOHOO!"
And a figure grabbed Josephine and Anderson as they all fell down in the pit.
Diego was climbing down and taking his time.
"Slow and steady wins the race," Diego muttered. "What a load of bullcrap. I'm wasting precious time..."
His ears perked. He heard three people screaming...crescendo.
Diego looked up and immediately, Josephine, Anderson, and Flynn fell on top of him. They all landed down on the ground.
"That was awesome!" Anderson grinned at Flynn. "You are so on my friend's list!"
"Ah ha ha!" Flynn gave a thumbs-up. "I got a friend!"
"And you got an enemy," Diego muttered as he got back up and started climbing.
"I'm with Diego, you could've killed us!" Josephine frowned at Flynn.
"You don't like the extreme?" Flynn asked. "Damn..."
Confessional: Why am I getting Tyler-vibes?
Flynn: The main reason why I wanted to be a pilot was so I can skydive off the plane. My mom was like, very protective, so instead of being an extreme sport expert, I decided to go as a pilot. Though, glad I wasn't raised in a bubble. That would suck.
Josephine: (writes in her notebook and looks at the camera) If I am to win the show, I have to be an expert at strategy. Right now, Flynn shows himself as a potential early boot or a later boot. My prediction? He's gonna go home in a wheelchair if he keeps up this 'extreme'.
Bosley gave a hiccup and a burp as he dazed his way through the tires. Surprisingly...he didn't bump into any traps.
"You!" a voice called. Natalya marched over to Bosley, not minding the rat that was chewing her shoe. "Mr. Drunk Man. How to get across that?"
She pointed to the gap that was blown apart.
"I *hiccup* don't know," Bosley shrugged. "Maybe *burp* we can I don't know, *belch* jump over."
"You stupid Canadian," Natalya shook her head. "Jump will be doom!"
Bosley was dazed and soon enough he fell off the gap as Natalya was wide-eyed.
"Drunk Man may be dead," Natalya shook her head. "Not Natalya Markov's fault this time."
Natalya looked at the gap and ran back...before dashing forward and jumping across the gap. She made it barely to the other side.
"Ha, Drunk Canadian Man is right," Natalya smirked. "Drunk men are smart too. Who knew?"
She headed off.
And as soon as she did, Diego groaned as he picked himself up onto the solid non-mountainous ground.
"Life sucks..." Diego groaned.
Confessional: Yes it does Diego. Yes it does.
Diego: (looking at the side) Basically, here's the gist of my story...acquaintances of mine thought I was kinda moody, so they surprise me by sending me off to Total Drama with an audition tape I didn't even know I was doing. (looks at the camera) In fact, I don't want to be here, but now I that I am, guess I might as well hang around. (looks at his bandaged arm) Hmph.
"Hey Argos!" Devon was running with Rigby and had spotted Argos defending himself from a swarm of bees.
"We never fought these back in the Trojan days!" Argos tried to swat the bees. "Ugh, I will be there momentarily Devon!"
"How about...now?" Devon asked.
"You're gonna be the first one at the infirmary if you get stung too many times," Rigby hollered.
"Ah!" Argos gasped at Rigby as he continued to defend himself. "You are right! Let's fight for the Spartans!"
Argos charged at Rigby and Devon. Devon was wide-eyed as was Rigby.
"Argos!" Rigby cried.
"You idiot," Devon groaned. "Don't let the bees follow us!"
"Apologies fellow warriors!" Argos cried as he ran around Devon and Rigby. "But the bees seem attracted to me. As much as my mother Aphrodite can put someone in a love trance."
"Yeah," Devon blinked before heading off with Rigby tagging along. Argos followed them as well.
Confessional: Bee Movie, only with Trojan Warriors.
Devon: Argos is either a good actor, or really delusional. Still, a man is a man. And a man always looks out for his fellow man.
Devon, Rigby, and Argos had lost the bees...somehow.
They were over the gap and saw Josephine, Anderson and Flynn attempt to climb up the other side of the now ravine.
"So, anyone got any ideas?" Rigby asked.
"The only idea I have is doing that, but it's kinda a slow route," Devon noted.
"Anything's a good idea as long as we don't come in last," Rigby noted. "Who knows what might happen to the people in last."
"It is that determination that will guide you to victory," Argos grinned at Rigby before launching himself forward and grasping on. "Yahaha! Come on, the rocks are just fine!"
"Is it too late to say I'm scared?" Rigby bluntly gulped.
"It's now or never," Devon told Rigby. "Be a man..."
Rigby looked at Devon and nodded before the two jumped and grasped on lower below Argos.
"Good try warriors!" Argos hollered at Devon and Rigby.
They were gripping hold of some cracks in the ravine caused by the mines blowing up. They groaned as they climbed. Rigby continued to climb until he noticed something.
"Wait, I'm like the weakest guy here," Rigby said with realization as he started sliding down. "Devon...Devon...I'm sliding down..."
Devon grabbed Rigby's arm and had him on his back.
"A man never leaves another man behind," Devon said. "Now let's go."
He began climbing with Rigby on his back.
Rocky and Rufus panted, having recovered from that slight pain. They stopped at the ravine edge and saw a bunch of other contestants climbing the other side to the top.
"How big of a damage did that mine cause?" Rocky raised an eyebrow.
"This will be fun!" Rufus laughed. "Hawhawhaw!"
"Dropping how many feet doesn't seem fun to me," Rocky muttered as Rufus patted him on the back. Rocky almost fell off but managed to regain his sense of balance. "What the heck? Are you trying to kill me?"
"Naw man," Rufus scratched his head. "I was patting you on the back as in like 'don't worry'..."
"Okay, if you say so," Rocky scratched his head as well before a scream arose.
Rufus and Rocky turned around to see Tucker, holding Chica close to him and running in fear.
"What's he running from?" Rufus asked.
"He's getting closer..." Rocky was wide-eyed.
Tucker bumped into Rocky and immediately, Chica was out of his grasp and falling down the ravine.
"No no no no!" Tucker cried, getting off Rocky immediately. "Chica! I gotta save her!"
"Hold on just a moment chicken man," Rocky grabbed Tucker by the back collar of his shirt. "What the heck got you screaming?"
"Hawhaw!" Rufus laughed. "Our answer approaches!"
Rocky turned and gasped.
...
Diane was charging, grinning and drooling. She flapped her straitjacket sleeves around.
"DUN DUN DUN DUUUUN!" Diane grinned. "ME WANT CHICKEN!"
Tucker gasped and dived off the ravine.
"I'ma coming to save ya Chica!" Tucker screamed as he fell down the hole.
Diane laughed and dived down as well, laughing.
Rocky and Rufus watched this happen. Rocky was wide-eyed as Rufus laughed.
"That was priceless!" Rufus laughed. "Man, this show is AWESOME!"
"Dude...they could be seriously hurt," Rocky looked at Rufus at disbelief.
"Come on man, this is a reality show," Rufus chuckled. "Everything's gonna be okay!"
No it isn't.
Confessional: I love breaking the fourth wall.
Rocky: Rufus is kind of a strange rival now that I think about it. (looks scared) Don't tell me he's sadistic. Please don't tell me that...
Rufus: Rocky looked kind of scared when he climbed out of the Confessional (scratches his head). Wonder why? Well, that doesn't matter, Rocky is like an awesome guy! I wouldn't mind being best friends with him for the competition. (cracks his knuckles)
Ying: (sits cross-legged on the seat) As my opponents went on ahead, I have decided to be the last person to depart. It's as Father once told me, "Those at the bottom will rise to the top." (bows at the camera) Thank you Father.
Ying had closed her eyes and started meditating.
"um...excuse me..." a soft voice whispered. "excuse me? w-w-what are you..."
Ying opened her eyes and turned to see Shoko standing by the starting line.
"Oh, Shoko," Ying blinked. "You're still here?"
"Y-y-y-yes," Shoko nodded, shivering. "I heard a boom sound and I w-w-wanted to go hide...but C-C-Chris wouldn't let me..."
Ying looked at Shoko and smiled at her.
"I guess a good meditation can wait," Ying smiled.
"W-w-why were you...m-m-meditating?" Shoko asked, curious.
"To receive my inner power," Ying smiled at Shoko.
"Eh?!" Shoko gasped. "Y-Y-Y-Y-You have powers?!"
"Haha, not like that silly," Ying smiled. "I meant powers as in chi. Something like that. Granted, I'm not at that stage yet, but I will be!"
"Ah, I s-s-see now," Shoko sighed in relief.
"So, shall we move?" Ying asked.
"Um...I'm...I'm k-k-k-kinda scared to move..." Shoko shivered. "I s-s-saw what happened t-t-to the other people. They looked like th-they were in p-p-pain..."
Ying looked at Shoko and smiled with a nod.
"Then we shall stay here till you build your confidence," Ying nodded.
"R-r-really?" Shoko gasped.
"Yep," Ying bowed. "Consider it a friendship."
Shoko looked at Ying and gave a small smile.
Confessional: Two Asian buddies! Whee!
Shoko: (looks down) S-s-s-s-s-so I g-got my first f-f-f-friend... Ying is q-q-quite interesting and...nice.
Ying: Shoko looks to have no inner confidence. But I guess that's up to me to change that! HIAYAH! (Does a pose)
Sasha walked past the snakes, spiders, and rats infesting some of the tires. She really had no trouble making it through. And soon, she made it to the ravine.
"...Darkness..." Sasha looked down, muttering underneath her bandana.
She began to climb down.
Confessional: Darkness, her old friend.
Sasha: It's rather cold around me...is it not?
Teri was in the lead, behind her was Rose and Kiev and behind them, Charlene?
"Uh oh, Charlene looks really mad at you Rose," Kiev noted the frowning Charlene who was charging ahead.
"What did I do?" Rose asked, confused.
"You pushed her off the snake-rope you know," Kiev told her as she ran alongside her. "It doesn't take a philosopher to realize she's mad about that."
"She should know that I did it in self-defense," Rose said, smugly.
"How was that self-defense?" Kiev stared at Rose in disbelief.
"Her grubby men-stained fingers was gonna poison me," Rose shivered as Kiev frowned.
Confessional: Men are poisonous? That's like saying children are deadly...oh wait.
Kiev: Rose's feminist thoughts will be a big problem...like a very big problem. (keeps her half-mask on her face)
Charlene tried to catch up with Rose and Kiev.
"Oh Roooooose," Charlene gave a frown. "I don't take getting pushed off a snake-rope very lightly..."
"She really means it," Kiev told Rose as she ran with her feminist partner.
Rose spotted the next obstacle up ahead and looked at Kiev.
"Duck!' Rose cried, squatting down and ducking as Charlene tripped over her and landed in the next obstacle...barbed wires.
"Yowwwww," Charlene groaned. "Damn it!"
"Sorry fellow lady," Rose looked at Charlene as she crawled under her and the barbed wires. Charlene collapsed on Rose with the barbed wire touching her. "Ow!"
Kiev was standing alone. She watched this happen.
"Should I help?" Teri asked, walking up to the three.
"Teri?!" Kiev jumped. "Weren't you ahead of us?"
"...A turtle needed to walk home, so I helped the turtle," Teri said.
"That's both odd...and sweet in a way," Kiev blinked. "But anyway, can you help Charlene and Rose?"
"As you wish," Teri bowed as she separated Charlene and Rose from the barbed wire.
"Thanks," Rose patted herself as Charlene groaned in pain.
"Alright Rose, tell me, what the hell was that back there?" Charlene gritted her teeth and seethed at Rose.
"What was what?" Rose asked.
"You very well know what was what," Charlene frowned at Rose.
Diego ran past them and began to do the obstacle as they fought. He rolled his eyes and crawled underneath the barbed wires.
"I do not know what do you mean," Rose frowned at Charlene.
"Uh girls?" Kiev asked. "Diego's in front of us!"
"Not on my watch!" Rose frowned at Diego as she launched herself straight at Diego, who was underneath the barbed wires and making his way to the end of the barbed wire course. Immediately, she landed on Diego and the two groaned in pain.
"Why...did you...do that?" Diego growled.
"I couldn't...let a...man...get the better...of me..." Rose growled, biting back the pain.
"You're...annoying..." Diego groaned.
Kiev and Charlene saw that the course itself was destroyed. Thanks to Rose's super jump, the barbed wires completely collapsed.
"So...what now?" Charlene asked.
"Do you want me to Miss Rose and Mister Diego?" Teri asked Charlene and Kiev.
"If you can, then yes," Kiev smiled at Teri.
"Don't...you dare...come closer to me...Teri..." Rose groaned. "I'm gonna...pin this man...down!"
Diego wasn't even trying to budge.
"Ah..." Teri clutched her head.
Confessional: Teri...what did you just say?
Teri: I was raised to never disobey orders. But what should I do? Miss Rose doesn't want me to help...but Miss Kiev wants to help. Ah...I don't like it! (clutches her head)
Argos leaped up and made it to solid ground. He pumped his fist.
"Nothing like the taste of victory," Argos stretched.
"We're not even at the end of the challenge," Devon climbed up with a sick Rigby on his back.
"What is wrong with Rigby?" Argos asked.
"I just remembered that I get sick when I'm above 9 feet," Rigby groaned.
"It was only 6 feet I think," Devon told Rigby.
"Looked like 9," Rigby tried hard not to puke.
"Hurry, we must make our way to the Finish," Argos declared.
"Got it," Devon nodded at Argos. "Hang on Rigby buddy. This will be a bumpy ride."
"I'm used to those..." Rigby groaned.
Confessional: Giddy up! YEEEHAAAAW!
Rigby: My foster brother has a driver's license and whenever I go with him to the store, he always picks the bumpiest road to get on my nerves. Luckily, I'm quite used to it now. (smiles)
Thomas groaned on the ground. He was badly bruised. And who else to spot him than Lana herself, with a tire still ultra glued to her bum.
"Thomas?" Lana asked. "You alright?"
"I feel like a cockroach stuck under a shoe..." Thomas groaned.
"Won't that cockroach be dead?" Lana asked.
"Exactly..." Thomas groaned. "...What about you? You seem to have something stuck to your...butt..."
"Ultra Glue," Lana frowned. "Live with it or die with it."
She took out a journal and began writing in it.
"I should probably make Ultra Glue a potential item to pay for," Lana grinned.
"As if your weapons weren't enough," Thomas shivered.
"Come on," Lana grinned. "My weapons aren't that bad."
She pulled off a grin that made Thomas shiver.
"Somehow...I doubt that," Thomas gulped.
Confessional: Yes, shooting a gun isn't bad...
Thomas: I hate to say it...but Lana really scares me. In fact, this entire competition has some scary people!
Lana: Thomas needs to relax. (leans back) It's the summer, we're in a competition with fun games, life is good! (falls backwards after realizing there is nothing to lean on)
"So, you two gonna kiss or something?" a voice asked Lana and Thomas. Hal grinned, standing before them and gracefully like a leader.
"Hal?" Lana asked. "You're still here?"
"Of course you dummy," Hal smirked. "After all, my Uber hasn't arrived yet."
"You got an Uber?" Thomas blinked.
"Nyahaha!" Hal laughed. "There's no signal on these battlegrounds dummy. So of course I can't get an Uber!"
"But you said-"
Hal gave a creepy smile.
"Ah but of course, I know how to easily get first," Hal grinned. "You want to know how?"
"No way," Thomas shook his head. "I'm not trusting you."
"Your loss," Hal shrugged. "As a Supreme Leader, I can trust in my fellow opponents form of logic."
"Your words won't affect me Hal," Thomas crossed his arms. "Right Lana?"
Silence.
Thomas looked up and saw Lana beside Hal with the tire still glued to her bum.
"Lana?!" Thomas cried. "You're trusting that guy?"
"If he says he knows a way to get first then I down for anything," Lana shrugged.
Hal smirked at Thomas as Lana followed him somewhere.
Confessional: Does...Thomas like Lana?
Hal: (crosses his arms) As a Supreme Leader, it is my duty to be the best in everything I do! After all, no one wants a leader who doesn't know how to get first place. Nyahahaha! (Opens his arms out as he laughs)
"Um...so...what do we do now?" Rigby groaned.
He was still being carried by Devon. And the man with the moral code had stopped with Argos to see how the barbed wires were now ruined thanks to Rose not wanting to get off of Diego. Charlene, Kiev, and Teri were still there as well.
"We can't crawl under it...nor can we tiptoe over the barbed wires," Charlene noted.
"What's the hold up?" Chris asked, marching over and seeing that the course had been ruined. "What the?! How the heck did this happen?!"
"Tell this girl who can't seem to get her grubby arms off me..." Diego frowned.
"Oh shut up you man!" Rose cried.
"You know what, I'll let you guys skip this part of the course," Chris blinked. "There isn't a way to accomplish this anyway..."
"Let's move warriors!" Argos told Devon and Rigby as he ran past Chris. Devon carried Rigby and followed behind.
"I'm with them boys," Charlene grinned, following the three.
"Rose, you coming?" Kiev asked.
"I'm coming," Rose got up from Diego. "But just because there are three guys in the lead!"
Kiev nodded and tailed off after Charlene with Rose behind her.
"Ugh..." a notable English accented voice groaned. It was Carly, and she had fallen into the ravine. She rubbed her head as she groaned. "My...what happened?"
"You fell down the hole..." a dark voice said.
Carly yelped in surprise. It was Sasha.
"Sasha!" Carly cried. "By goodness! You scared the living diamonds out of me!"
"...Cool..." Sasha bluntly said.
"No!" Carly frowned and crossed her arms. "It was not 'cool'."
"Take it easy..." Sasha said. "You'll wake him up..."
"Wake who up?" Carly asked.
"...The sleeping man..." Sasha said, pointing to someone on the floor.
"EEP!" Carly hid behind Sasha. "WHO IS THAT?!"
"...The drunk man..." Sasha said, quietly.
"You mean that...Bosley?" Carly asked Sasha, quietly.
"You *hiccup* called?!" Bosley jerked up, burping.
Carly jumped again.
"Smells like alcohol..." Carly pinched her nose and shrank back in disgust. "Dreadful!"
She then began to climbing to escape the smell.
"Ah yes...climbing the walls...how creepy..." Sasha cackled to herself.
Confessional: Sasha probably starred in Tales from the Crypt.
Carly: My goodness! Sasha is quite the woman isn't she? And that Bosley. He should know drinking is quite unhealthy. These people are quite strange...
Sasha: What can I say? (shrugs) I just love creepy things.
General Ral laid a keen eye at the obstacle course itself. He was at the Finish Line, and immediately, arriving first...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Hal and Lana. Lana still had that tire stuck to her bum as Hal smirked.
"See, what did I tell ya?" Hal grinned. "First place."
"Cadets!" Ral cried. "How in the blazes did you manage to make it first? I saw you. You were in the back. Last place."
"We took a shortcut," Hal smirked. "After all, there is no kind of fencing to prevent us from passing through all the obstacles."
General Ral crossed his arms.
"And isn't being smart a key thing in the military?" Lana asked.
"That wasn't being smart, that was common sense," Hal chuckled. "And yes, it's very valuable in everyday life, including war."
"..Hmph...I'll accept it..." General Ral said. "You two stay over there!"
He pointed to a green mat. Hal smiled as Lana nodded. They headed to the green mat.
Confessional: Candy that has the color green are always tasty...
Hal: That challenge was too easy. After all, I came in first and as the Supreme Leader, being first is everything. As I said before, this competition will be a cinch...
Lana: Hal's a pretty smart guy. I might stick with him for a while, but of course allies in these reality shows don't stay with you forever so it's possible I may have to dump him faster than I dump the bent bullets that serve no purpose but to take up space. (crosses her arms and smiles)
Josephine groaned upon making it to the top finally.
"I hate...being short..." Josephine groaned.
"That was EXTREME!" Flynn grinned as Anderson got up as well. "Let's rock and roll!"
"Right behind you Flynn!" Anderson laughed.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" a cry called as suddenly Rufus landed on top of Anderson. "Haha! I made it!"
"We...we made it..." Rocky's voice could be heard.
Rocky was being crushed by Rufus. And with Rocky, was Anderson.
"Canadian guys are so muscular..." Anderson chuckled and groaned at the same time.
"Hawhaw, whoopsies," Rufus chuckled at Anderson, getting off of Rocky and Anderson.
"How'd you guys get here so fast?" Josephine asked. "Well...the correct question is...how'd you guys manage to cross over without scaling the walls?"
"We jumped," Rocky answered.
"That's suicide!" Josephine cried.
"No, that's sports," Rufus chuckled. "Now come on! I ain't about to be in last place like Rocky!"
"Hey!" Rocky cried, running after the already jogging Rufus.
"Those two are quite something," Flynn chuckled. "Welp, I'm not ditching the fun!"
Flynn chased after the two as did Anderson and Josephine.
As soon as they left, a hand finally struggled to clasp onto the ravine edge.
"Finally..." Carly groaned in her English accent.
"Your struggle soothes me," Sasha told Carly, getting up moments later.
"You're quite the unusual type Sasha," Carly told Sasha.
"Thanks," Sasha said before heading off.
Carly collapsed in exhaustion.
Confessional: So polite Carly...
Carly: (reading a list) Talented Linguist? In what way am I talented? I can play the piano, the flute, the violin, soccer, football, tennis, and basketball. I can also juggle and sing. But I don't see why I'm talented. I collapsed after scaling a wall!
"Ah ha!" Argos grinned. "Our next obstacle! Prepare to taste war!"
Argos gripped the monkey bars but fell immediately after that.
"What is this?!" Argos cried. "The bars are slippery?!"
Piranhas then came out of the water, looking at him.
"Ah!" Argos cried. "Fish friends?!"
Argos screaming could be heard as Devon and Rigby were shocked at what happened.
"Not friends not friends!" Argos cried in pain.
Devon examined the monkey bars closely. A slack of oily residue was coated onto the bars. And of course, this had Chris written all over it.
"Wow, oil?!" Chris laughed, walking over.
"This...wasn't...you?" Rigby groaned, still sick.
"I considered it...but decided not to," Chris shrugged.
"I thought you would do so," Devon narrowed his eyes at Chris.
"I may be sadistic, but I don't make the challenges impossible," Chris chuckled as he walked off.
Devon looked at the interns who were watching from the bleachers. One of them looked guilty as charged.
"...I may have polished the bars the wrong way," Tyler sheepishly grinned.
"Why did you polish the bars in the first place?" Steven asked.
"I didn't know what else to do," Tyler groaned.
Confessional: How do you even polish the bars the wrong way?
Tyler: I'm considered an accident-prone back home, kinda like that Thomas dude. But I don't let that ruin my goal to be the most EXTREME intern on the show! Haha!
Devon narrowed his eyes and began to climb the monkey bars, gripping the bars tighter than Argos had. Rigby grabbed close to Devon, scared of getting chewed alive by the piranhas.
"You're doing great fellow warriors!" Argos gave a thumbs-up at Devon and Rigby as he groaned.
"What is this?" Rose hurried over, crossing her arms. "A man that just got bested by a bunch of fish? Pathetic!"
"Those are not fish," Argos frowned at Rose. "They are ravage sea animals that can kill if the need to."
"Whatever Odysseus," Rose rolled her eyes as she touched the bars. The slimy feeling...the warm residue. Rose retracted her hand in disgust. "Ewwwwww, this bar is way to slippery!"
Argos groaned as his cape had been torn by the piranhas. Also noted were the bite marks on his bare chest.
"I am so sorry about my friend," Kiev hurried over, looking at Argos. "I hope...oh wow, she hurt you that bad?"
"That wasn't me!" Rose cried from the monkey bar ladder.
"The one who disrespects the males is correct," Argos declared. "It was the sea creatures that roam the pond."
"The piranhas?" Charlene came over as well along with Teri, panting. "Man Kiev, you and Rose run fast."
"It's probably your balloons that are weighing you down," Rose frowned at Charlene.
Charlene glared at Rose as she then pushed Rose off into the water.
"What the, ow ow ow!" Rose cried. "These male fish are so rude!"
"Speak for yourself," Charlene muttered.
"Would you want me to fish her out?" Teri asked Charlene.
"Nah, leave her for another four seconds," Charlene smiled at Teri as Teri began to time herself.
Diego was sitting down and fixing his bandaged arm. He had gotten himself out of that barbed wire trap and as such was kinda injured in a way. Then again, he was already injured seeing that bandaged arm of his.
"Silly boy," Natalya arrived and stared at Diego. "What are you doing sitting down on the ground?"
"None of your business lady," Diego said. "Either go back or go forward."
"Ha!" Natalya mocked. "Natalya Markov takes orders from no one. Not even from silly ninja man."
"I'm not a ninja," Diego flatly said. "Now go before you seriously piss me off Russian lady."
Natalya gave a huff and prepared to leave.
"I shall remember this silly ninja man," Natalya stared at Diego. "Natalya Markov never forgets a man who dares to be rude to her."
Natalya marched off as Diego shook his head.
"Strange lady..." Diego muttered.
"GANGWAYYYYY!" a voice cried along with a cluck.
"What the-"
Tucker ran past Diego, holding Chica close to him. Diego raised an eyebrow at this...then Diane ran past him as well.
"I WANT TO EAT CHICKEN TONIGHT!" Diane laughed. "HAH HAH HAH! YOU RUN FUNNY TUCKER!"
"No!" Tucker cried. "Mah Chica ain't food you crazy girl!"
"CHICKENS ARE FOOD NOT FRIENDS!" Diane laughed.
"...I'm ignoring that," Diego said as Rocky and Rufus ran past him along with Flynn, Anderson, and Josephine. "...Huh, last place huh?"
Sasha and Carly walked past Diego as well.
"...Yeah, last place," Diego said before returning back to fixing his bandaged arm.
Confessional: In this ridiculous race, if you're last, you're out!
Diego: Do I care about a million bucks? Not really. I'm not going to risk my life for a common prize. I've risked my life far enough...
Natalya: Natalya Markov thinks my opponents are mere weaklings. Silly ninja man is lazy. Purple-haired weirdo only talks and talks. Natalya Markov believes I can win this competition.
Devon finally made it past the monkey bars, looking at his hands in disgust.
"That was difficult," Devon said.
"Thanks for not...falling..." Rigby gave a sickly smile at Devon.
"A man never endangers another man," Devon nodded at Rigby. "Now to the finish."
"I will not be beaten by a AUGH!" Rose groaned as a piranha bit her leg.
"Shall I help you with that?" Teri asked.
"NO!" Rose frowned. "Just get to the finish line before those dirty men do!"
"Your wish is my command," Teri bowed as she hurriedly hurried through the monkey bars and made it to the other side in no seconds flat. Rose, Kiev, and Charlene watched this, wide-eyed.
Confessional: Teri is secretly a genie in a bottle.
Rose: (wide-eyed) Teri is quite possibly the most capable female I have ever met...
Charlene: Teri just climbed those monkey bars as if they were ladders. Like it was the most shocking thing I have ever seen.
Kiev: Is Teri human? Forgive me for saying this but just seeing Teri do that, I have my doubts.
Screaming could be heard as Tucker accidentally whammed into Rose, knocking her in the piranha pool again.
"Sorry!" Tucker cried as he swam with Chica on his back, swatting away piranhas that dared get close to him. He got out of the water and continued off.
Diane dashed forth after and... ran on water as she stared intently at Chica.
"HOW?!" Charlene cried.
"Is she even human?" Kiev asked in wonder after seeing Diane.
Rose got out of the water again and groaned. She had went back to the starting point of the monkey bars.
"I hate guys..." Rose groaned.
"We know," Charlene crossed her arms.
"Wait look!" Kiev cried, pointing at Argos. He had just made arrived at the end of the monkey bars and quickly dashed off. "We're losing precious time just standing here! We have to go!"
Kiev began to begin on the monkey bars but immediately she began to slip.
"Ah..." Kiev was terrified. "Charlene! Hel-"
Kiev's mask fell off into the water as Kiev screamed. She covered her face before anyone could see and dived into the water.
Let this be known, our cameras didn't catch what her face looked like either.
Confessional: Unmasked yet masked.
Charlene: Kiev dove into piranha infested waters just to retrieve her mask. Either she's really bent on her looks or whatever her face holds could be really ugly and scary. I'm betting the latter.
Kiev: (holds her mask to her face) No one can see the other side of my face. No one can see the other side of my face...
"Devon, look!" Rigby cried, pointing at Teri. She was catching up rather quickly.
"What in the h-" Devon was launched into the air by a mine as Teri made it past the finish line, avoiding the mines accurately and precisely.
"Third person to arrive," General Ral saluted. "Step on that green mat with the cheaters."
"That wasn't cheating," Hal smirked at General Ral. "It was a plot hole. And as the Supreme Leader, I know how to find plot holes..."
"Whatever purple-head," General Ral rolled his eyes as Teri nodded at him. She stood next to Hal and Lana.
Screaming could be heard as Devon and Rigby landed on the ground.
"Oh man..." Rigby groaned.
"Those mines...were strong..." Devon coughed.
"You two, green mat now," General Ral said.
"I want to barf now..." Rigby began to get up quickly. He hurried over to nearest trash can and began to puke in it.
The sounds were agonizing to the ear. But that's because it sounded like he was in pain.
"That's gonna leave a mark," Hal commented with a noteworthy blank face.
Confessional: BARRFFFFF
Rigby: (looking weak) I don't do well with extreme motion of any sort. My foster brother forced me on a roller coaster after he made me eat a six pound turkey leg. I puked on the person sitting next to me...and he wasn't happy about that. Nor was my foster dad.
Devon: Rigby didn't look so good after the challenge. So as a true man, I must help a fellow man out!
More blowing up could be heard as Tucker screamed, holding Chica close to him.
"GIT THIS CRAZY GAL OFF OF MAH TAIL!" Tucker cried, almost getting blown up.
"GIVE ME THAT CHICKEN!" Diane charged at Tucker.
The two crossed the finish line as General Ral grabbed Tucker by the collar and Diane by her straitjacket.
"Green mat, now!" General Ral told Tucker and Diane.
"I don't want to be near this...this thing!" Tucker cried as Chica clucked.
"I just want to bite the chicken's beak," Diane whined.
"No biting chickens allowed," General Ral said before tossing Diane and Tucker on the green mat.
"No fun," Diane pouted at General Ral. "You're no fun Rallie!"
"General Eugene Ral..." General Ral narrowed his eyes at Diane.
"Yah yah yah," Diane turned around and huffed, crossing her arms.
Confessional: Yeah yeah yeah yeah...
General Ral: That girl dares to speak that way to me, General Eugene Ral! In war, we don't hesitate to give whiny people like that fifteen push-ups, fifty if provoked further!
Diane: HAH HAH! Rallie is fun to mess with!
Tucker: (holds Chica) Diane scares me. Like really really scares me...
More booms and manly screams were heard as someone had headed to the finish line.
Argos of course.
"We didn't have these in Trojan times!" Argos cried, passing the finish line.
"We didn't have Trojans in present time," Hal chuckled.
"Sounds equally fair," Argos stood firm and grinned. "Now anyway, that was a fun challenge! This competition will be suitable for a Trojan warrior like me!"
"At ease cadet," General Ral told Argos. "Head to that green mat with those other punks."
"As you wish!" Argos nodded as he headed to the green mat.
Confessional: Trouble with Trojans?
Argos: As a proud Trojan warrior, coming in eighth is not a necessary achievement. As long as you win the war, then the Trojan warrior can get recognition! For the God of War! (Thrusts his fist in the sky)
Kiev had swam across the piranha-infested pond, clutching her wet half-mask close to her.
"Safe and sound, safe and sound," Kiev sighed.
"What's safe and sound?" Charlene asked, getting off the monkey bars. Her hands were oily and she was covered his pondwater. She had failed the course several times.
"N-nothing!" Kiev gasped before running off. "Let's go!"
"Um...alright?" Charlene asked before following Kiev.
"Hey!" Rose called, struggling not to fall off on the oily monkey bars. "Wait for m-waaah!"
She fell back into the pond water with the happy piranhas.
"You're not complaining about leaving Rose behind?" Charlene asked Kiev, who was running faster than usual.
"Must run, can't talk!" Kiev cried as she pressed her mask to her face.
The floor underneath Charlene immediately exploded after she tried to continue pressing her. The explosion launched Charlene straight into the air and down to the finish.
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH!" she screamed as she landed face-first. "Ow...that hurt...so bad..."
"Finish Line!" Kiev cried. "Made it!"
She crossed the finish line and looked at Charlene.
"Charlene!" Kiev cried. "Are you alright?"
"Never been better," Charlene groaned.
"You two made it," General Ral looked at Kiev and Charlene. "You two move to this black mat."
Charlene groaned as she got up and moved to the black mat with Kiev.
Confessional: I like the color black. Fun fact.
Charlene: That challenge sucked. I was blown up into the air and pushed off a rope by a feminist. All in all, not a great start for me.
Kiev: I nearly lost my face during that challenge...well, my mask actually. (presses her mask closer to her face) But I like to call it a face!
"Oof," Rose coughed, swimming to the other side like she should've done a long time ago. She made it past the monkey bars because of this. "Kiev left me? Why?"
"It's the woman who hates men," a familiar Russian voice noted. Natalya stood at the beginning of the monkey bar obstacle.
"Natalya," Rose nodded at Natalya. "Finally, not a guy. Be careful with that monkey bar. It's slippery!"
"Natalya Markov thinks this is no problem," Natalya declared as she began to climb the monkey bars. She had no problem doing so and made it to the other side.
Rose's jaw dropped.
"How did you do that?" Rose asked.
"I am Natalya Markov," Natalya told Rose. "Nothing can stop Natalya Markov."
She then hurried off as Rose shook out of her awe-stricken trance. Rose followed Natalya as well, impressed.
Confessional: Russians are so badass.
Rose: Natalya is both a formidable opponent and a potential ally. After all, she's a girl and us girls have to stick together right?
Rocky and Rufus made it to the monkey bars along with Anderson, Flynn, and Josephine.
"Monkey bars!" Anderson grinned. "I didn't know Canadians had these as well!"
"They do Anderson," Josephine shook her head.
Anderson got on first and slipped into the pond.
"Whoa...are Canadian monkey bars slippery or what?" Anderson got out of the water as some piranhas started gnawing on his foot. "Ow! Canadian ponds hurt!"
"That's the piranhas in the pond," Rocky said.
"Canada has piranhas?" Anderson asked.
"Okay," Rocky shook his head. "Don't make fun of Canada."
"I'm not," Anderson told Rocky as he got out, wincing at the piranhas gnawing on his behinds.
"Piranhas in a pond?" Flynn grinned. "Slippery monkey bars? EXTREME!"
He dove into the pond and began swimming with the piranhas gnawing on his ear.
"I like that guy's style!" Anderson declared as he jumped into the pond and swam across.
"Those two will make a great couple," Rocky said as he crossed his arms.
"Yes, we made it!" Rose panted as she crossed the finish line with Natalya.
"We?" Natalya asked. "There is no 'we' when it comes to Natalya Markov, silly man-hater."
"Uh huh," Rose smirked at Natalya. She looked at the other contestants and frowned. "Are you kidding me? I've been beaten by five guys?!"
"Stuck a cork in it sunshine," General Ral told Rose. "Now you and the Russian...go to that black mat with those two ladies."
"I would say something about being yelled at by a guy, but because you placed me on a mat with only females, I shall not say anything..." Rose huffed as she strutted towards the black mat. Charlene gave a silent groan as Kiev gave a small smile.
"Oh man," Kiev smiled. "Rose, I'm sorry Charlene and I left you back there. I just...went through a phase."
"All is forgiven," Rose smiled. "As long as you're a girl, everything will be forgiven."
Confessional: Forgive but never forget.
Kiev: That...doesn't sound like a good moral code...
Rose: I'm glad I'm on the same mat as Charlene, Kiev, and Natalya. Now with girl power, we will never lose!
Natalya: Mask girl is weird, Nurse can get distracted, and man-hater is annoying. My competition are idiotic in the way of idiocy.
"That...was...awesome..." Flynn winced as piranhas had latched onto his pilot uniform.
"Tell...me...about it..." Anderson too had piranhas latching onto him. "Canada's awesome..."
Anderson took a step and was blown up in the air.
"I FORGOT ABOUT THE MINES!" Anderson cried as he fell onto the black mat.
"Get off this mat!" Rose growled at Anderson.
"Nope, he's staying at yellow mat," General Ral shook his head at Rose.
"That was awesome!" Flynn laughed as he jumped onto a not-so-hidden mine and was blown up into Charlotte's arm.
"Rawr..." Charlotte flirted.
"Get off of her!" Rose pushed Flynn off of Charlotte.
"Pilot man, black mat as well," General Ral nodded. "You boys went straight to the point before I could even establish my point. Impressed."
"Yay..." Anderson groaned. "Impression..."
Confessional: Impressionism.
Anderson: Aside from the mines and the piranhas, that was the most fun I ever had on my trip to Canada! Canada rocks!
Flynn: This competition is EXTREME!
Carly and Sasha made it to the pond as saw Rocky, Rufus, and Josephine fall in the pond a couple of times.
"How difficult that looks," Carly mused. "我们必须想出一个计划."
"That sounded Korean," Sasha told Carly.
"Chinese actually," Carly said. "I said we have to make think of a plan."
"I got a plan..." Sasha said as she just...walked around the monkey bar course.
"Huh, that seems rather efficient," Carly nodded.
"What the-" Rocky was wide-eyed. "Those cheaters..."
"It's not called cheating Rocky, it's called strategy!" Rufus declared. "And if they can do it...then we can do it!"
"Guess you're right," Rocky looked at Rufus as Rufus charged.
Carly and Sasha heard the charge and began to dash forward, the mines exploding as they did so.
General Ral looked expectedly at Carly and Sasha and at Rufus and Rocky, two of which would be the ones to make it. Running closer and closer...it was...
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Carly and Sasha.
"We made it," Carly panted.
"We did," Sasha said as Rocky and Rufus came moments later.
"You girls, black mat, you boys, red mat at the end," General Ral said.
Confessional: Black and red, like every punk in high school. Wait...I meant as in hair color! Ignore this!
Carly: That was exhilarating. (smiles) This competition may just reach my expectations on my to-do list.
Sasha: ...The challenge was boring. The only thing remotely interesting was that ravine and the piranhas. (sighs underneath her bandana)
Rufus: HAWHAW! Carly and Sasha are two of a kind! They beat me! A football captain!...Then again, Rocky did trip and I did have to help him, but that's still no excuse! Good job Carly and Sasha!
Rocky: I tripped over a mine that didn't blow up. So relatively, I was frozen in fear. This competition might get out of hand...
"Now...we wait for the last punks to arrive," General Ral waited.
"Um about that Ral," Albert came over.
"You call me sir, got that?!" General Ral barked.
"Got it!" Albert jumped a bit. "...Sir..."
"...Well then, what's the problem?" General Ral asked.
"Look," Albert pointed to the remaining competition, from last place to Josephine struggling on the monkey bars.
Ying was meditating with Shoko, who was cradling herself.
Thomas was stuck in a tire. He got off of one and got stuck in another, this one contained an electrical wire.
Bosley was down in the pit, snoring from that alcohol.
Diego was staring at the sky, bored he was.
And Josephine slipped into the pirahna pond.
"...We don't really need to wait for them..." Albert told General Ral.
"I see your point little intern," General Ral.
"I'm actually bigger...sir..." Albert chuckled.
"Interns, go fetch those opposition!" General Ral cried.
"On it!" Albert nodded before heading off.
"Well cadets, you enjoy the challenge?" Chris walked over, drinking from a cup.
"No," Diego crossed his arms.
"You bet I enjoyed it!" Flynn grinned.
"Excitement," Chris smiled. "That'll die soon. Now, before we get started, it's time to have those that didn't cross the finish line, walk to the red mat."
The ones that didn't cross the finish mat headed to the red mat.
"Good, now, look at the people in the your respective mats," Chris told the contestants as they looked at each other. "These are your teammates for the competition!"
"Teammates?" Natalya gasped. "Natalya Markov works alone!"
"Well Natalya Markov will have to work with her fellow team," Chris smiled.
"Only me, Natalya Markov, can use her full name Chris McLean!" Natalya shot daggers at Chris.
"Ah heh," Chris chuckled. "Well then, in that case, our first team on the green mat, the ones who came in first: Argos, Devon, Diane, Hal, Lana, Rigby, Teri, and Tucker. You will be hereby known as...The English Grenades!"
"Grenades were never used in the Trojan era," Argos shook his head.
"I LOVE BOOM BOOM!" Diane clapped her hands excitedly.
"I love grenades," Lana grinned.
"Our second placing team on the black mat, the ones who were too late to make it to the green mat: Anderson, Carly, Charlene, Flynn, Kiev, Natalya, Rose, and Sasha," Chris listed. "You will be known as, the German Missiles!"
"Awesome!" Flynn grinned. "Like pilots!"
"I can't fly a plane though," Anderson frowned.
"I'll teach you!" Flynn grinned at Anderson.
"Awesome!" Anderson grinned. "You're so my new best friend!"
"Ugh, men..." Rose crossed her arms. "Missiles had nothing to do with pilots..."
"Pilots in those air-strikers shot missiles from planes," Charlene told Rose.
"Navy boats also shot missiles," Sasha nodded.
"Yeah, missiles," Kiev chuckled sheepishly, not sure how to evade in this conversation.
"And our final team on the red mat with the last placing losers: Bosley, Diego, Josephine, Rocky, Rufus, Shoko, Thomas, and Ying," Chris listed. "You will be known as the French Bazookas!"
"Badass!" Rufus grinned. "YEAAAAAAH!"
"What's so good about a bazooka?" Diego asked. "It's a dangerous weapon society was never meant to hold..."
"Bazookas are *hiccup* loud..." Bosley dazed.
"I...d-d-don't like...loud th-things..." Shoko shivered.
"And now, that you are in your teams, it's time for the final part of your tour..." Chris smiled.
Chris led the cadets/contestants to three bunkers. Each bunker had two sides: a boy side and a girl side.
"This is where you'll be sleeping," Chris smiled. "We placed icons of the weapons we named you so it should be easy to find out where to sleep."
"What about our belongings?" Ying asked.
"The interns are gonna put them in the bunkers as we speak," Chris smiled. "Now as such, au revoir and see ya tomorrow!"
As Chris left, it was silent...until Carly spoke up.
"That man has a horrible French accent," Carly shook her head.
I do not have a horrible French accent! Ahem...
Well there you have it! Our 24 cadets/contestants ready to battle it out for one million dollars! Our questions remain...
Will Argos win it for the Trojans?
Will Bosley stop drinking?
Will Anderson stop insulting Canada?
Will Diane eat Tucker's pet chicken?
And will Teri make me another delicious latte?
"On it Mr. McLean," Teri's voice could be heard.
"Wait!' Chris blinked. "I don't want one right now!"
Ah...forget it...the answers for the questions up above on...
TOTAL
DRAMA
BOOM BOOM REVOLUTION!
Cast List:
Anderson- The Enthusiastic American
Argos- The Trojan Warrior
Bosley- The Drunken Skeez
Carly- The Talented Linguist
Charlene- The Flirtatious Nurse-In-Training
Devon- The Loner with a Code
Diane- The Psychotic Psychopath
Diego- The Secretive Buzzkill
Flynn- The Extremist Pilot
Hal- The Supreme Leader
Josephine- The Petite Number One
Kiev- The Scarred Maiden
Lana- The Weapon Master
Natalya- The Skillful Russian
Rigby- The Foster Child
Rocky- The Fitness Trainer
Rose- The Uptight Feminist
Rufus- The Team Player
Sasha- The Creep Fanatic
Shoko- The Shy Orphan
Teri- The Ultimate Assistant
Thomas- The Lanky Accident-Prone
Tucker- The Chicken Tamer
Ying- The Martial Artist
Teams:
The English Grenades:
Argos- The Trojan Warrior
Devon- The Loner with a Code
Diane- The Psychotic Psychopath
Hal- The Supreme Leader
Lana- The Weapon Master
Rigby- The Foster Child
Teri- The Ultimate Assistant
Tucker- The Chicken Tamer
The German Missiles:
Anderson- The Enthusiastic American
Carly- The Talented Linguist
Charlene- The Flirtatious Nurse-in-Training
Flynn- The Extremist Pilot
Kiev- The Scarred Maiden
Natalya- The Skillfull Russian
Rose- The Uptight Feminist
Sasha- The Creep Fanatic
The French Bazookas:
Bosley- The Drunken Skeez
Diego- The Secretive Buzzkill
Josephine- The Petite Number One
Rocky- The Fitness Trainer
Rufus- The Team Player
Shoko- The Shy Orphan
Thomas- The Lanky Accident-Prone
Ying- The Martial Artist
And so the first chapter is complete. 24 new contestants. And a war-themed season! This has been a story I was stoked for and for those who wish to see pictures of my OCs, you can search them in my DeviantArt. I can't post links however...shame XD Just search up my name in DeviantArt and you'll find it.
Also, feel free to list which characters you like the most. It always interests me the different opinions people have on different characters.
And don't forget to leave reviews. Again, I'm interested in what you people have to say or suggest :)
Next time: A classic war game involving flags and capturing.