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Hermione Granger sat at her desk in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, angrily and tearfully scribbling on a sheet of parchment while muttering under her breath.
"The. Nerve." Hermione muttered through gritted teeth as she continued to write- if you could call puncturing parchment with a quill writing. "Of. That. Bastard." Hermione dotted the period so sharply that she made a hole. One of many.
"Grange- Weasley!" barked a voice from outside Hermione's door.
"Give your name, state your business, then leave!" Hermione exclaimed. There was a frustrated sigh, then a muffled word. Before Hermione could figure out what the word was, though, Draco Malfoy came barging into her office.
"Gra- Weasley," Draco said. "Honestly, I can't believe you're engaged to that Weasel."
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione said heatedly. "In case you didn't notice, I'm in a rather bad mood right now, and I'm pretty sure that you didn't come here to discuss my love life."
"As a matter of fact, I did notice," Draco said, smirking at the sight of Hermione's clenched fists. "And frankly, I don't give a damn about your stupid love life, if you even have one. By the way, you should check that temper of yours. Yelling at me like that. What would've happened if I had been Potter or Shacklebolt or even your precious Weasley?"
At the mention of the name, "Weasley" (which clearly implied the second-youngest one), Hermione stabbed her parchment once more, breaking the quill's tip. Hermione didn't notice, but sadly, Draco did.
"If that had been Harry or Kingsley," Hermione said vehemently, purposely leaving out Ron, "they wouldn't have called me Weasley. They would've called me Hermione. Now what do you want?" Draco smirked and plopped onto the chair in front of Hermione's desk.
"Ah. I see what this is about," Draco said, taking in Hermione's puffy eyes, the broken quill tip, and the tear-stained parchment paper. "Weasley broke it off, eh?"
"That's none of your business, ferret," Hermione said bitingly.
"Well, that answers my question." Draco muttered darkly. He fervently hated being reminded of the time he was a ferret. "Well, you're better off without him anyway."
"What. Do. You. Want. Malfoy?" Hermione said with murder in her eyes. Draco suddenly pitied Weasley more than usual. He made a mental note to make a bet with Blaise on how long the Weasel would last.
"Well?" Hermione exclaimed, after Malfoy didn't respond.
"The Thestrals are being… creepy." Draco said. Hermione raised her eyebrows and would have laughed, if it weren't for what Ron had said and done. Ron, that full-out, horrible, lying, fat, cheating b-.
"Of course they're creepy," Hermione deadpanned. "They're Thestrals. What did you expect? Did you imagine them to look like pretty golden unicorns with rainbow-coloured hair?" Hermione's voice had risen to a dangerously poisonous, high pitch. The toad-like face of Dolores Umbridge was suddenly brought to Draco's mind, but was quickly pushed out by the Thestrals again.
"No. I don't expect them to look like unicorns," Draco said. "I've been seeing them since my Hogwarts years. You think that being the son of a Death Eater, and the nephew of Bellatrix Lestrange, that I haven't seen anyone die?"
Hermione decided not to answer that.
"Yes, you probably do think that," Draco said quietly, "but never mind." Draco's voice went back to its normal, rather loud, volume. "What I'm saying is that the Thestrals seem even creepier than… before."
"How so?"
"Well, they always look at me sinisterly-"
"They're Thestrals."
"They always bat their wings dangerously-"
"They're Thestrals."
"They always act all Dementor-like."
"They're Thestrals."
"And they have this red gleam in their eyes when they look at me. But I've asked Williamson if they're like that when they look at him and he said their eyes are always white. Davis said that, too; even Potter!"
"You asked him?" Hermione said incredulously.
"I didn't mean to, but he just so happened to be giving a lecture on them," Draco said. "And he told me in front of all the freaking Aurors that they don't have red eyes and I'm either extremely paranoid, mentally unstable, or both."
"That's not exactly hard to believe," Hermione muttered.
"Shut up," Draco snapped. "Are you going to help me or not?"
"Well, I don't think 'Shut up' is a polite way of asking," Hermione said coolly.
"Well, will you please help me?" Draco said.
"Go to St. Mungo's and schedule an appointment with Healer Travers."
"Who?"
"Healer Travers. He'll identify whether you're sane or not."
"I'm not insane!"
Hermione smirked, glad that she could get under his skin. "Of course. Anyways, why do you have to deal with Thestrals?"
"Why don't you just ask Potter?"
"I hardly have time to deal with Ro- Ginny. Let alone Harry."
As much as he wanted to, he let the near-slip of the Weasel's name go. He did have some respect for Granger.
"So why do you have to deal with the Thestrals?" Hermione asked once again.
"Astoria's sister, Daphne, went missing, and Bulstrode and Parkinson, the last people to see Daphne, said under Veritaserum that she was kidnapped by several Thestrals."
"You mean Millicent and Pansy?" Hermione said, not caring about the rotten arse that was Daphne. Hermione still couldn't get the things Daphne had done during their Seventh Year at Hogwarts out of her head.
"Suddenly sweet on the two, that you use their given names?"
"Millicent isn't that bad," Hermione ignored Draco's unconvinced look. "And Pansy's actually rather nice ever since she got rid of you."
"If I must remind you," Draco said impatiently. "I got rid of her."
"Of course," Hermione said dryly. "Anyways, ever since she found out about you and Astoria, Blaise went off and married Sally-Anne Perks, and Millicent married Goyle, Pansy's been looking for friends."
"You don't mean to say you that she went to you and you welcomed her with open arms, right?" Draco said. "'Cause I know she works here and all, but really?"
"She didn't come to me directly, and I probably wouldn't have welcomed her with open arms," Hermione said. Draco noticed that she had cooled down and was more annoyed than angry. "She befriended Luna-"
"LOVEGOOD?"
Hermione nodded and continued. "Who introduced Pansy to Ginny and then to me. She really isn't all that bad. She's very nice actually and won't hesitate to stick up for her friends. A few weeks ago, she even-,"
"I don't care, Granger," Draco interrupted. "All I care about is whether Thestrals normally look murderous and have evil red eyes."
"No, they don't," Hermione said, shaking her head. "But-,"
"No 'buts'!" Draco cried, a bit shrilly for a man. Hermione bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Draco didn't notice. "I know, Iknow that they want to kill me! I don't know why, but they just do! It's probably for some conspiracy against Astoria. First Daphne, then me, then- then- then Astoria's parents, for crying out loud!"
Hermione wished she had a camera to take a picture of the moment when Draco Malfoy was pulling his hair out and screaming like a girl.
Suddenly, as if to make Hermione's so-far-lousy-but-becoming-better day even grander, her office door opened and a red-headed, freckly girl looked inside.
"Alright there 'Mione? I heard some screaming and-" Ginny noticed the very insane-looking Draco and continued to speak but very slowly. "And I thought you were screaming."
Draco seemed to somehow completely calm himself in two seconds before turning to the youngest Weasley. "You thought Grangerwas screaming?"
"Her name's Hermione and yes, I thought she was screaming. But it was you, wasn't it? You were screaming like a girl. And there I was, insisting to Ron and Harry that you weren't gay."
"You told Weasel and Potty that I'm not gay?" Draco asked dryly.
"Don't call them that or I'll hex your arse off," Ginny said rather honestly. "And yes, I told them that you're straight. Or at least bi, but now I'll probably have to go tell them otherwise."
"And exactly why did you defend me?" Draco asked audaciously.
"Not very thankful, are you?" Ginny asked, faking motherly disapproval. "And before you jump to conclusions, no, I didn't do it to defend you. You just so happened to be mentioned. I actually did it to defend Pansy and Astoria. I'm pretty sure that they both have the sense to not date, and in Astoria's case, marry, a gay man. Or should I say woman?" Draco stood there, spluttering protests, but Ginny didn't care. She turned to Hermione. "Anyways, 'Mione, why's your door unlocked? I thought- I know that you have a nasty habit of keeping it locked."
"I did," Hermione said. "But this bloke- er, um, person-ish thing… I don't know. Anyways, I did lock my door, but Malfoy probably unlocked it with some spell."
"I thought you put a Locking Charm?" Ginny said.
"I did," Hermione said. "Against every spell that could possibly be used on the door." She looked at Draco questioningly.
"As an Auror, I've found some rather interesting spells, if you two must know," Draco answered to the silent question. "And, Weasley," Ginny looked at Draco, who shook his head. "No, Hermione Weasley. Oh wait. Right. I forgot! That fianc of yours-"
Slap!
"Funny," Hermione said acidly, as she pulled her hand back to slap Malfoy again. "That's only the second time I've hit you, even though you so deserve more." Slap! "That's the third time now." Slap! "Fourth!" Slap! "Fifth!" Slap! "Sixth!"
"Hermione!" Ginny yelled, causing Hermione to stop and look at her. Draco took this distraction in the form of Weasley as an opportunity to run, but the youngest Weasley was blocking the door.
"Please move," Draco pleaded as he caressed his right cheek.
"No," Ginny said simply.
"Aren't you going to help?" Draco begged. "You told her to stop, didn't you?" Now Hermione was looking at Ginny confusedly. Ginny sneered at Malfoy and spoke.
"I'm just helping her out," Ginny said. She looked at Hermione and then spoke innocently. "I thought you were a wizard?"
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