Title: Waking Up.
Author: Saiyamar
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own Ashes to Ashes/Life on Mars or any of its characters.
Summary: "When you can feel, then you're alive. When you don't feel, you're not." That's the advice that Sam said he'd been given back in 1973. And to be quite honest, she was starting to believe it just a bit too late. Oneshot. Minor implied Galex. Pls R&R.
A/N: My first attempt at Ashes Fanfiction. I got a little bored and so wrote this. (I should really be revising but oh well. =D)
"When you can feel, then you're alive. When you don't feel, you're not."
That's the advice that Sam said he'd been given back in 1973. And to be quite honest, she was starting to believe it just a bit too late.
She had thought that this was all a dream. That it couldn't be real. However she had started to believe that it was not so long ago. Today her thoughts were confirmed.
The feeling of metal shredding through her chest was more painful than could possibly be imagined. The feeling of cool liquid running down her back, and the smell of blood as she falls to the ground. It all seems too real.
She can hear someone scream her name, desperation evident in their voice, but even that fades to nothing eventually. All she can hear is the steady 'beep' of machinery and murmers of "She's waking up".
That couldn't be right. Waking up is when you get your sense and feeling back after you've slept. She doesn't recall going to sleep, and this certainly doesn't feel like 'waking up'. It's like all feeling she had just moments previously has gone. Suddenly she's hit by a voice in her mind, that's so clear above any interference of the now ever present machinery. One she recalls having heard before, but can't recall when or where. Time seems to have given up on her. "Somebody once told me, "You know when you're alive because you can feel. And you know when you're not, because you don't feel anything."" If that was the case then was she dying?
Nothing could have felt more real than the feeling of losing everything. A strange sense of Deja vu she supposed. She swore that she'd had this before, but that time it gradually turned to feel like this so called 'waking up business' someone was nattering about. She doesn't like it. Not one bit. She wants to feel again.
Her previous beliefs of her being in a dream are washed aside as she realises she was more alive then than she ever has been before, when and wherever 'before' was. She wants the adventure, the drinking evenings, the small arguments with her boss with no consequences for doing so...
There's something missing. She knows this now. All she wants is to go back to that life. She would fight this so called 'waking' sensation and return to what she's now accustomed to even if it kills her. Nothing can stop her. Nothing. She knows that there should be something there she wanted to reach out to but it's all a blur.
Desperately fighting for some sense of being alive she reaches out to what is nearest in her subconscious mind. The beeps start to fade, the squeal of a car pulling up close invades her head, and the pain is back. In the back of her mind she can faintly hear a rush of some kind and barely picks up "Don't do this Alex. Don't you give up". This one line becomes clearer as she hears it again. Much closer than before, and she notes that it's so much warmer here. She's lost now, but at least somebody's there to help her.
She knows this.
She can feel him.
Fin.
A/N: Please Read and Review. Thanks!
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it.