A/N: This story is a collaborative work between rachi-kun and myself. It was written at school during lunch and history and published during art. It was really made up on the spot with hardly any thought. Enjoy.

AIZEN TAKES A BATH

"Alright my Espada, meeting dismissed!"

The Espada calmly and sensibly walked out the door and closed it behind them. They made sure they were well out of their leader's earshot before releasing their unified held breaths.

"FINALLY! Fresh air!" Szayel said as he gulped in the clean air like an asphyxiating fish.

"I swear, these meetings of his are getting longer and longer…" sighed Harribel, pulling her jacket down from over her nose.

"Not to mention stinkier…" added Nnoitra, frowning.

Grimmjow chuckled. "You're all wusses!"

"Well I noticed you managed to hold your breath for the entire meeting…quite a feat, don't you think?"

"Shut up, Ulquiorra. You were doing no better."

"In my day, leaders were nominated on the fact they didn't smell" stated Barrigan.

"Back in the age of the dinosaur?" questioned Zomari.

Barrigan glared.

"Even both of us could smell it!" Said Aaroniero.

"Seriously...hasn't the guy heard of deoderant?"

"I doubt it..."

"How does he put up with it?"

"I wonder if he can even smell himself..."

The Espada continued to complain about their leader's noxious body odour, they hardly noticed the two figures approaching from behind.

"Y'all pretty noisy", came a voice.

The Espada turned to see none other than Aizen's two fondest Henchmen, Gin and Tousen standing directly behind them.

"Y'all should be more careful," Gin added, grinning as usual.

"What? No, no we were saying how lovely Aizen-sama smells this evening." Said Yammy.

Gin grinned widely, "No need to lie, now."

Then, Tousen spoke, "we are also aware of Aizen-sama's ghastly bodily stench and desperate need of a bath. That is why we are here, stalking you and listening in on your conversations."

The Espada gave Tousen a very nervous stare.

"Aw, don't worry it won't be a regular thing," grinned Gin, "this is for Aizen-sama's wellbeing…and ours too of course…something must be done."

The Espada murmured in agreement.

"Now," said Tousen, "I have a plan…"

__

Aizen sat on his throne, mindlessly doodling on the arm of his seat. His attention diverted to the doors as Starrk and Wonderweiss made an appearance.

"Ah, welcome my children! What have you come back for? Why are you pinching your noses?"

"Aizen-sama," said Starrk, "we need you to come and see this…uhhh…this thing that uhh…Wonderweiss has made."

"Uuaah…" said Wonderweiss, blinking.

"My youngest child has made me a gift? I am enthrathled!"

He's what..? Thought Starrk.

Aizen stood and walked toward the two arrancar.

"Lead me to it then, my children!"

"Alright, it's this way."

"Uuaah!"

Later

Aizen stood and stared at the deluxe spa bath that he had recently installed for his Espada.

"Hmmm…" thought Aizen, "I installed this so that you Espada wouldn't keep stinking."

"Well you were wrong," came Starrk's voice from just behind his ear, "it wasn't us who stank. It was - and still is - you."

And before Aizen knew what was happening, Starrk and Wonderweiss effortlessly pushed him into the spa. He would have come out right away, if it weren't for Nnoitra and Harribel who were positioned mercilessly underneath the bubbles, awaiting him.

When his head emerged from the water, he saw the entire cast of his Espada surrounding him, armed with soaps, shampoo, lotion and scrubbing brushes. And it didn't look like they were going to give in any time soon.

Aizen was held still by Nnoitra and Harribel, and he braced himself as Szayel and Zomari covered him in soap. Then Aaroniero, who just happened to be a renowned hairdresser back in the day, came and began drenching his hair in shampoo and various lotions, while Barrigan rinsed and rinsed and rinsed.

Aizen then had a painful experience, as it was Yammy and Grimmjow who had been entrusted with the scrubbing brushes, and they didn't exactly go easy.

Finally, Aizen was set free, but not before being excessively sprayed with deodorant by Ulquiorra, all while Gin and Tousen stood grinning in the background.

I guess one could say that Aizen learnt a lesson on that fateful day from his traumatic experience.

As he stumbled on back to his throne room, soaking wet he made a vow. From that moment on, he promised himself he would bathe every day, so to never experience the phenomenon again. No one deserved such a punishment as harsh and unnerving as being bathed by the Espada. Even Aizen had to admit that.

THE END

Thankyou all for reading~! Please review if you liked (or didn't) ;)