AUTHORS NOTE: Ello jello, so this is my first-ish fanfiction bare with me please!

ALSO... the italics are Dean's dream.

Deans POV

Sam and I had just finished an exhausting yet thrilling hunt chasing after a group of demons; as always we didn't get to leave without a few minor wounds and bruises.

As we pulled in I looked over at Sam, he was out cold, as I smirked at myself I yelled, "OH SHIT!" trying so hard to suppress a laugh threatening to escape at any moment.

He jumped up and yelled "GOD DAMMIT, DEAN!" he glared.

"Oh c'mon it was worth it." I said knowing it'd piss him off.

"Jerk."

"Bitch," I said giving up and laughing my ass off. He started laughing as well, then instantly making a face of pain. My eyebrows knitted together and eyes widened with worry, as I simply said "You okay, Sammy? Cas should've been there to help us, even if it was to heal us with his angel mojo." I said as my face fell, somewhat annoyed.

"Yeah, where has he been lately" Sam asked as if I should know.

"The hell if I know?!" I snapped, instantly feeling guilty, "Sorry. Tired."

I quickly apologized; and with a small nod understanding me he said "Right, well, lets get going then."

Knowing I get cranky when i'm tired he handled with the bitchy receptionist. Once he got the keys he led us to our room, it consisted of two full size beds and it was a bit nicer than the other ones yet it still had that cheap motel vibe to it, which I found strangely comforting. Soon Sammy decided to take a shower; I then packed my stuff away in the drawers and such. Making sure my gun was underneath my pillow; I slowly took off my jeans and shirts only leaving me in a white tee and plaid boxers, fell backwards on my bed closest to the window and door, so I could protect Sam better, and with a content sigh I drifted off into a much needed sleep.

"NO, Cas! Don't leave me, you can't leave me!" I was holding his lifeless body against my chest, yelling those words that I have always denied myself and always left unsaid; "You can't leave me, Castiel you can't ever leave me 'cause...I...I love you...I love you so damn much..." I said those words over and over again, hoping if he heard me he would come back to life again...except the only thing that happened were violent sobs that wrecked my body.

I woke up at 3:00 in the morning by a loud sound of metal banging; laying on my stomach, I slid my hand under my pillow to grab my gun. "Dean, it's me." I heard a deep, familiar voice say, as he puts his, warm soft, hand on my forearm. "Cas?" I asked even though I knew it was him, and with that he pulled his hand back while saying "Yes, Dean." I instantly missed the contact; the way he said my name was just so...WHAT THE HELL, DEAN, ITS CAS. Pushing those thoughts aside he caught me off guard, "Dean?" He said curiously. "Uhh...what? Sorry. Wait, what are you doing here?"

"You were calling my name in your sleep, I came down to check on you, but you looked alright. I was just about to leave when I heard that noise, you heard it too. It was just a car getting towed, and no it was not your 'Baby'. I made sure." He explained mostly emotionless.

"Oh...Okay..uhm...thank you for checking up on me and my car." I said hesitantly

"You're welcome" he said as he held his breath as if he were about so say or ask something else.

"What is it, Cas?" I asked letting him know it went noticed.

He sighed. "You sounded...scared and...worried when you called my name. Dean would you please tell me what you were dreaming of?" He asked, then taking a huge interest on the way the carpet was stitched, but this time he there was pure curiosity in his voice.

"Uhmm...I.." Then it all came crashing down like a waterfall. I instantly remembered the dream and I instantly felt those feelings; with all of that overwhelming me a single tear made its way down my left cheek as I sat up to look him in the eye.

"Dean...?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm okay, Cas. I was gonna say that I didn't remember it, but it all came back and...I...I dreamed that you had been killed..." As I told him that, I was trying my best not to break down that wall making me the man that i'm supposed to be. "I found you lying lifeless on the sidewalk and...I.. should've been there to protect you,..you're family, Cas!" I yelled; instantly regretting it because Sam woke up, glared at me then went back to sleep.

I turned my head to Cas and said "Let's continue talking about this outside." I quickly put some pants on and grabbed my jacket, then walked outside.

"I know it was just a dream, but I can't stand the thought of losing you; I know you say that you are supposed to look after me and I, but..." There was so much to say and I couldn't man up to it.

"Dean...I understand, well not completely, but I will try for you." He said almost shyly

"Cas, if anything happened to you I'd never forgive myself."

"Dean is there something you're not telling me? I know I don't know humans and their emotions very well, but I'm not stupid and I know you are hiding something." He said with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

"I don't even know what I am trying to say, Cas! It's just in my dream I was a mess and I was telling you that you couldn't leave me and that I...I loved you" I told him almost ashamed.

He walked up closer to me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder, pulled me close and said "It's okay, Dean, it's going to be okay"

I knew it was but it didn't keep me from feeling this way.

"Cas, I..." Hesitation overpowered my courage.

"You what, Dean?" He asked while tilting his head in confusion; his bright blue sapphire orbs for eyes, met and searched mine for an answer.

"I think...I think I am in love with you, Castiel." I finally confessed after all this time of denying it for so long; meanwhile my heart was pounding against my chest.

SORRY LOVES BUT

TBC

oh and review what you think what will happen... this shall be fun.