Shepard's Birthday
This is the story that started it all. Initially written as a one-shot for Commander Shepard's birthday, it sort of...grew.
The apartment was cold and quiet, and Shepard sighed as the door closed behind her. It wasn't as if she'd expected a big fuss; they were in the middle of a war, after all, and there simply wasn't time for everything. She would have liked a 'happy birthday' though. Just one would have done the trick. Instead, she'd spent the day running around, looking for-
Her thoughts broke off.
There was someone in the apartment. She tensed, stopped breathing, listened for a repeat of the movement she'd heard, sliding her pistol into her hand.
The lights came on and there was shouting – 'Happy Birthday, Shepard!' - and laughing and the gunshot was very, very loud.
She stood frozen staring at her whole crew – everyone who'd served with her from Samara to Liara. In her living room. Wearing party hats. Javik looked ridiculous and furious.
Miranda smiled and picked up the bullet where it had fallen, stopped dead by a biotic shield. She came up to Shepard and pressed it in her hand, smiling, and kissed her on the cheek.
"Happy birthday, Commander," she said, grinning. "Surprised?"
"You could say that," Shepard said, and gave Garrus a look promising dire and bloody vengeance. He could have warned her, the bastard!
He grinned, unconcerned and completely unapologetic, and blew a party whistle in her direction.
Then Tali and Liara came from the kitchen, bearing a giant plate of cupcakes, and Shepard laughed helplessly.
The cupcakes were black and white and red, and arranged to shape the N7 logo on the plate.
"The black ones are levi," Tali said, pointing, "and the red ones are dextro. Eat a red cupcake and you may die. Be told."
"And the white ones?" Vega asked. "What about them?"
"They're neutral," Tali said doubtfully. "Apparently they won't cause allergic reactions in anyone. They taste terrible, though."
Only one of the cupcakes had a candle in it, and Tali handed it over to Shepard with great ceremony.
"Make a wish," Kaidan said.
So she did, and blew out the candle.
Joker, Kaidan and James started singing Happy Birthday while the aliens looked at them as though they were crazy and Shepard stood, smiling till she thought her face would crack, with a cupcake in her hand and a party hat on her head. Vega and Traynor couldn't carry a tune in a bucket but Kaidan had a surprisingly sweet tenor, and Joker…well, she was frankly awed by Joker.
"I didn't know you could sing, Joker!" she exclaimed as the song ended amid laughter.
"Told you I'm a rock star, Commander!"
Garrus came up behind her and pulled her close into the curve of his body as everyone descended on the cupcakes at once.
"Happy birthday, Shepard," he murmured in her ear, and she shivered.
"Didn't we have a talk about bedroom voice and how it should stay in the bedroom?" she whispered back.
He laughed softly in her ear and gave her a last squeeze before setting her free.
She took a bite of her cupcake and moved out of the way of the cupcake scrum, listening to the laughter of her crew. Her family.
"Human birthday celebrations are very different from the asari," Samara said, leaning against the wall next to Shepard. "Our celebrations are more dignified."
"Yeah," Joker said, strolling past with a party whistle clamped in the corner of his mouth like a cigar and a small tower of cupcakes in his hand, "but ours are more fun! Have a cupcake, Samara!"
Samara smiled indulgently, and Shepard found herself laughing again as Kasumi snatched the tip of Joker's cupcake tower away.
"Hey, give that back," he cried. "Commander, maker her give it back!'
Shepard cocked an eyebrow at him.
"You're just basically twelve, aren't you?"
"Eurgh, don't remind me. Twelve was a bad year. Twenty-six major breaks. Spent half the year in traction."
"Ouch."
"Meh, it happens. Besides, I have cupcakes! EDI, I need more cupcakes for the cupcake tower!"
"Coming, Jeff," EDI said, and strolled over with two more cupcakes.
"Joker, you can't possibly eat all those cupcakes," Shepard said. "You'll be sick!"
"Watch and learn, Commander. The trick to serious cupcake eating is like serious drinking. Water. Lots of water. And frequent toilet breaks. I have to go before Kasumi comes back. See ya, Commander!"
Samara gave Shepard a companionable nod and ambled away, taking a single cupcake from the rapidly shrinking collection.
Tali and Jack were off in a corner, cupcakes in hand. They looked like they were having seizures – Shepard assumed they thought they were dancing. Crumbs were flying through the air.
"Were you surprised?" Kaidan asked, appearing at her shoulder.
"I think the gunshot is probably a good indication of how surprised I was, Major. Whose idea was this anyway?"
"You're never going to believe this, Commander. It was Garrus. He planned the whole thing. Made some pretty graphic threats about what would happen if you found out, too."
Shepard smiled. Garrus, over by the piano with Liara, looked up as if he felt the weight of her gaze, and smiled. Then he gave Kaidan a stern look before turning back to Liara.
"And that?"
"Nothing, Commander," Kaidan said in the most innocent voice she'd ever heard. She didn't believe it for a heartbeat.
"You two have some kind of plan, don't you."
"Me and Garrus? Be serious, Shepard." Kaidan's chuckle was deep and sexy, and took her back to the night before Ilos. He'd laughed just like that when she… "You alright, Commander?"
She coughed and blushed and didn't look at him. That was all over now. It had been years since they'd so much as kissed. And she should have let him go play with his biotic squad and never let him near the damn Normandy again but he was hers, Goddammit, even if he wasn't, anymore. Not in any way that mattered.
"Fine, Major. Go. Mingle, have some fun. Maybe you can see if Jack's tattoos go all the way down."
It was his turn to choke, and his eyes were wide as he turned to stare at her.
"Jack? Seriously, Shepard. She's not my type."
She laughed at his expression and gave him a light shove.
"Go. I'm peoplewatching here, and you are violating my calm."
He laughed again and leaned in close. He smelled of musk and clean man as he kissed her on the cheek.
"Happy returns, Shepard," he murmured.
She shoved his shoulder again, mostly to cover the furious blush that spread over her entire face. Damn being so pale, anyway. No way to hide a blush from anyone who cared to look.
"My boyfriend has a sniper rifle, Alenko. Be told."
"Oh, I'm not worried about him, Commander," he said and strolled away, favouring her with an over-the-shoulder grin.
"Shoot you myself," she muttered and went to grab another cupcake.
The party was fun. There was dance music going in one of the upstairs rooms, while below people scattered themselves around the couches and the bar and the card table – where Vega appeared to be in the process of fleecing Liara and Javik. Shepard strolled among the various groups, trading laughs and jokes with everyone and collecting the small presents her crew had gotten her.
EDI, to her intense surprise, presented her with a giftwrapped package clearly marked with her name.
"Didn't you already give me something, EDI?"
"This is from Mordin, Commander. He gave it to me before Tuchanka."
The wrapping was cheerful and bright, and her name was written in both salarian and laborious human letters. Tears welled up, and she sat down and took her time opening it. At last, she had the wrapping off, and she folded it up neatly before opening the box. Inside was…she pressed her hands to her mouth, but the laughter bubbled up and out anyway, cleaning away grief and leaving only delight behind.
She lifted the salarian bobblehead, carefully customized to look just like Mordin himself, out of its packaging, and stared at it, still laughing. Only Mordin, she thought. Then her finger hit what must have been a button on the base of the statue and the figurine spread its arms and began singing, of all things, Mordin's Gilbert & Sullivan patter song, and she cracked.
She was laughing so hard she almost choked, and EDI looked at her, usually impassive face concerned.
"Are you allright," Shepard?" she asked.
It took a moment before Shepard could answer, but she nodded and waved her free hand still laughing.
"I'm fine, EDI, don't worry. It's just…"
"Doctor Solus had a fine sense of humor," EDI said, a trace of sadness in her tone. "I think he would have enjoyed your reaction."
He would have, Shepard said, carefully placing the figurine, head bobbing madly as it sang, on the mantelpiece. Mordin had always enjoyed making people laugh.
She poked the thing's head once more and went to get a cupcake, still smiling to herself. It was the last one left. The party seemed to be winding down anyway; Samara had kissed her goodbye a few minutes ago and Kasumi had, with her usual flair, decloaked long enough to wave to Shepard before vanishing again.
It had been a good birthday, she thought. She wasn't drunk, not yet. She had, in fact, just reached that perfect equilibrium of intoxication. Dunk enough, her rookie sergeant had called it once. Drunk enough to feel like you can fly, sober enough to not actually do it.
She froze in her tracks as a sweet, familiar tune started coming from the piano. A moment later Garrus was at her elbow.
"Dance, Shepard?" he asked, holding out a hand.
She met his eyes and set the cupcake down without looking, her free hand drifting into his.
"With you, Vakarian? Always."
The Moonlight Sonata wasn't properly a dance song. But then, you couldn't really call what they were doing dancing. Shepard didn't care. She leaned into Garrus and swayed with him, relaxed and safe in the circle of his arms.
"I wish all these people would leave," he murmured, bending so he could say it against her ear and send the vibrations of his voice singing through her body. "I want you to myself."
One talon traced a line up her bare back, and she shuddered and hooked her fingers in his armor to keep herself upright as her knees buckled.
"Bastard," she muttered.
"You wouldn't have me any other way, Commander," he murmured. Still with the voice. Still in her goddamn ear. She wished she'd never told him what his voice did to her. "Do you want to hear what I'm going to do to you once I have you alone?"
She shook her head but he told her anyway, murmuring sweet filthy nothings into her ear as they swayed to the music. His voice filled her ears and thrummed in her body and everything faded away, leaving only his body tight against hers and his voice driving her higher and higher.
She didn't hear the question, but Garrus lifted his head and said 'of course not, Major,' and put her hand into Kaidan's.
She was dazed with desire, and so she allowed Kaidan to fit her against him, still feeling the heat of Garrus' parting kiss on her cheek. She stared up at Kaidan, her eyes wide, and he gulped.
"You look…" he trailed off and they swayed together in silence. His hand burned like fire in the small of her back and the length of him was pressed against her. He wanted her.
She wanted him.
There had never been a shortage of desire between them; from the very first moment they met on the first Normandy there had been fire. She'd never even considered resisting it and, the night before Ilos, they had flung themselves into an exploration of each other. It had been glorious.
It had been too short.
Things had come between them; her death, Horizon. Garrus. But nothing could smother the spark they had. The spark that, in her lust-drunk state, was fast becoming a fire.
Kaidan dropped his head into the curve of her neck and groaned.
"God, Shepard."
His lips were moving against her skin and she could feel the warm puffs of his breath against her skin.
"Do you even know what you look like? What you smell like?" His hand clamped on her back, holding her tight against him, and she was bent backwards over it, tight as a drawn bow. Their bodies were melded together from chest to knee; she could feel his ragged breathing against her breasts. "I want you so much right now, Shepard. I want to take you right now, right here on this floor and make you scream my name."
She didn't say a word. Couldn't.
The only words in her mind right now were 'yes' and 'please' and pleas and demands that she could never voice to him again.
She closed her eyes and lifted her hand to the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair. And with the last of her strength, she pulled his head away. The moment she had enough room, she put her hand against his chest and pushed, slowly. A denial, not a rejection.
He didn't fight her, beyond ducking in for a quick kiss on her cheek as he moved away, and he was smiling his damn sexy smile at her as he left her alone on the dancefloor. The music had stopped. She wondered absently how long she had been desire-fogged, and decided it must have been a while, because the apartment was quiet. Empty, except for Kaidan walking away towards the door.
She didn't watch him leave.
She went to find Garrus, before she could do something stupid. More stupid.
She found Garrus in her room, candlelight gleaming on the armor lying discarded in the corner. He was sitting on the bed, running a long, thin piece of cloth between his hands. He looked up and pinned her in place with his eyes, his hand stilling on the…blindfold? His other hand dipped behind him and came up with a pair of handcuffs, gleaming cold steel in the warm golden light.
He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, blindfold dangling from one hand, cuffs from the other, and his eyes burned as he stared at her.
"Do you trust me, Shepard?"
She stood and stared at him, watching the cuffs like a mouse watching a snake, and all the naked need she'd fought against with Kaidan came slamming back into her, leaving her aching and weak-kneed.
She couldn't trust her voice, so she just nodded and held her hands out for him, shaking. He smiled and stood in front of her, smaller without his armor but still much bigger than her.
The cuffs snapped onto her wrists with a delicate clinking sound, and she looked down at her bound hands then back up at Garrus.
"The blindfold." She said. She didn't recognize her own voice, husky and raw with need. She was coming apart at the seams and he hadn't even touched her yet.
He moved behind her and instead of wrapping the cloth over her eyes, he unzipped her dress. It was shoulderless and backless, and it slid off to pool at her feet in a cloud of scarlet silk.
"Garrus…"
"Shhh, Shepard. Just trust me," he said and ran his fingertips up her sides to cup her breasts. She leaned back against him and sighed softly. "We can stop anytime you want. It's important that you know that, Shepard."
She didn't say anything, just moaned softly as his fingers stroked her nipples.
"Tell me you understand, Shepard," he said, his voice at her ear again. He bit at her neck. Gently, barely even grazing his sharp teeth over her skin, but she shuddered violently, her voice breaking on his name.
"I…Oh, god, Garrus, I understand, god, please, Garrus don't stop…" He rewarded her with another nip in the curve of her neck and she shuddered into silence.
He brought the blindfold up and covered her eyes, and she sighed as he picked her up. The bed was only a step away but it was forever before he put her down. Then, gently, he pulled her arms up over her body and with a quick snap, secured her to the bedframe.
He wasn't touching her, but she could feel the heat of his gaze on her and she knew what she must look like, flushed and sweaty with golden candlelight spilling over her pale skin.
He started at her feet, stroking along the instep with a single talon, then up her leg. She shivered under his touch and arched up, needing more, but he was relentless. Up and up, skirting around the burning core of her and over her breasts, and back down. Endlessly, gently, until her skin was burning with sensation all the more intense because she couldn't see, couldn't know where those clever hands were going next and then, oh, then he leaned down and bit down lightly on her right nipple and everything went white.
Her entire body arched off the bed until she was supported only by head and heels, needing, demanding more, and she felt she could scream in frustration when Garrus only chuckled and stroked the flat plane of her belly soothingly.
She didn't want to be soothed. She wanted more, and she wanted it now! She sensed Garrus moving and then he was kissing her, deep and slow, just the way she liked it. The cuffs clinked as she tried to put her arms around his neck, tried to press her body against his.
The bed moved under her and she turned her head searchingly to the right, away from Garrus.
A light touch on her cheek, almost hesitant, and soft. And then someone else was kissing her. Someone human, who tasted of toothpaste and cinnamon and had a clever human tongue to play with. She kissed him back fiercely, yearning after him when he pulled back.
"Shepard," Garrus whispered in her ear, "I wanted to give you something you can remember forever. This seemed like what you wanted."
"Are you…okay with this, Commander?" Kaidan's voice, smooth as honey, as silk, right next to her ear. It hit her like a lightning bold. They'd planned this, the bastards! She'd never even considered – would never even have asked…
"Shepard? Is this okay?" Garrus now, his rough hand still petting her, soothing her when the last thing she wanted was to be soothed.
She twisted and threw herself half-over Kaidan, pinning him in place as she searched blindly for his mouth. He obliged her by kissing her deeply and laying her back down. Kaidan was a good kisser, she remembered confident enough without being overbearing. This time there was something of desperation in him, though, in the way he held her face between his hands and drank her like a starving man. It drove the yearning in her ever higher and she whimpered quietly as she arched her body up. She needed more, damn it and finally she gave up and pulled away.
"I want to see you. Both of you."
Garrus took the blindfold off and she drank him with her eyes.
"Come here," she said, and would have reached out if her hands weren't tied. Garrus came close enough to kiss and she did, and it was sharp and dangerous and that was just how she liked it too.
"I was going to untie you," he said, his voice hoarse, "and leave."
Her movement was instinctive and lightning-fast. A twist of her hips and she had her legs wrapped around his waist and oh! But that was…that was very good.
"Neither of you," she said, and her voice was a feral snarl as she kept Garrus in place with her legs and stared Kaidan into motionlessness, "Is going anywhere until you finish what you started. Are we clear?"
"Crystal, Commander," Kaidan said, smiling, as Garrus said 'Anything you want, Shepard."
"Open those cuffs, then," she said, tugging at them. She wanted to touch, and hold, and…and small fireworks started going off in her belly at the suddenly predatory look in both men's faces.
"Oh, no," Kaidan said, leaning in close, one hand resting beside her bed as he smiled down at her. "This may be your party, Commander, but it's my game."
"And tonight, you get to relax," Garrus murmured, untangling her legs and lying down beside her.
"Relax," she said doubtfully.
"Shhh," Kaidan said, and claimed her mouth. He was forceful, tangling his hand in her hair and pulling her close. She forgot, for a moment, that there was someone else on the bed. Until Garrus started kissing his way down her torso, hot, nibbling turian kisses, every one like a little bite. She offered him her breasts and he worshipped them with mouth and sharp-clawed hand until she was gasping and delirious again.
Then he moved down, settling himself between her thighs, and Kaidan moved down to pay homage to her breasts. The contrast between Garrus' dry heat and the hot moistness of Kaidan's mouth was enough to send her to the edge and then Garrus' incredible, clever tongue started doing things to her and she screamed as the world vanished around her.
She came back to herself an unknowable time later, and found her body sandwiched between theirs, two hands stroking her ever so gently.
"That was…"
"It looked impressive," Garrus said.
"Oh, it was just…" She shifted in delighted memory, and was pleased to note the catch in their breaths as she moved between and against them. Garrus leaned down to kiss her again and she sighed her pleasure as Kaidan's hand, tentative and soft and smooth, headed to the junction of her thighs.
She spread her legs for him, and his finger slipped inside her, making her gasp. She was aching and on edge, every inch of her body begging for…something…but Kaidan went slow, and gentle as he slid a single finger in and out. She rocked her hips and arched against his hand, moaning desperately into Garrus' mouth, but Kaidan wouldn't be rushed in this. His lips found her breasts again and she tugged uselessly on the cuffs. Garrus was kissing her neck now and murmuring…oh, god, he was talking to her in that voice, telling her what they were going to do to her and Kaidan still wouldn't go any faster!
And oh, finally Garrus moved, and settled himself between her thighs, and she broke off from kissing Kaidan to look down at Garrus.
He made penetrating her torture, inch by slow inch as she whimpered and begged and tried to make him move faster but Kaidan, that bastard had a grip on her hips now and was holding her still while Garrus tortured her but at last, at last he was seated as deep as he could go. He began to move inside her, so slowly, slowly, as her body adapted to the strange shape of his, and Shepard found her breath coming in time with his thrusts.
"Beautiful," Kaidan murmured, and suddenly he was kissing Garrus, desperately, and Garrus' hands left her hips to tangle in Kaidan's hair and the sight of them did things to Shepard's insides and she needed Garrus to go faster now, or everything was going to be ruined.
So she snapped the cuffs and tumbled Garrus over onto his back, rising and falling to her own rhythm as she pulled Kaidan closer. She took him into her mouth, as deep as he could go and he groaned deep in his chest and grabbed at her head to hold her still.
Shepard could feel the small tremors starting, and she moaned around Kaidan as she surged against Garrus, desperate for that final push and Garrus' clever hand found the junction of her thighs and she screamed and convulsed around him. Garrus followed her, arching against her body, his claws digging into her hips and she knew he was drawing blood but right now it was spice to her pleasure and she came again, and again, waves crashing over her and receding and Kaidan was coming too, now, thrust deep in her throat, his hands convulsing on her hair as his entire body arched and when he cried out her name his voice sounded broken.
She lifted herself off Garrus with a monumental effort and sprawled next to him, pulling Kaidan down on her other side.
"Thank you," Kaidan said when his breath returned. "I…thank you, Shepard."
She slitted open her eyes to smile at him dreamily.
"Thank you, Kaidan," she said. "And you, Garrus."
"Yeah, no problem, Shepard." Garrus said, half-asleep already with his head on her stomach.
"I'll ah…I'll let you guys get some sleep, then" Kaidan said, and started to get off the bed.
Shepard sent Garrus flying as she lunged after Kaidan, catching him by the arm.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"Home, Shepard. Back to the Normandy. You don't need me here for this."
"I need you here. My front gets all cold," she said, and grinned at him. "And besides, there's a hot tub."
"You want me to stay?"
"Shut up and get in bed, Alenko," Garrus growled, yanking Shepard back against him and making himself comfortable against her. "She's not letting you go." Kaidan stared at her, whiskey eyes wide, and she knew he'd expected to go home to his cold empty berth on the Normandy after this. She took his hand and tugged gently.
"Please, Kaidan. Will you stay?"
"I…yeah, Shepard. I guess I'll stay the night."
That wasn't what she meant, but he would learn. They were hers now, in every way that mattered.
"Happy birthday," Kaidan told her again, and dropped a kiss on her head as he climbed in beside her.
Happy Birthday indeed, she thought as she dropped off to sleep.