Author's Note: Let me be very clear on this, I DO NOT SUPPORT! This was a dare between my friend and I. We each randomly picked random characters to do a crossover fanfic for and well I got saddled with Grell and Hagrid. She got Break from Pandora Hearts and Matsuda from Death Note (she got the better end). Anywho please enjoy this crack fic or just click away and save yourself a mind raping.

Hagrid was collecting unicorn hair in the forbidden forest when an odd sound issued from over head. At first he just though that it was a trick of the wind because he knew of no animal, magical or not that could giggle, but as he continued with his job the high pitched giggle sounded again. Now being the creature lover that he was Rubeus Hagrid could not resist straying from his job to find out what was making that noise. As he got closer, though, the giggle became more distinctly human and he frowned. It was probably some creepy student, but it was the Forbidden Forest and he was a teacher so it was his duty to lead the student out.

It took awhile but eventually Hagrid came across a small clearing with a bit of a pond and there he received a rather big shock. It was not a student but rather a man, a naked man bathing in what was probably very cold water. Hagrid found himself frozen, starring at the gorgeous figure of this strange man who had long red hair and was giggling. The half-giant took a tentative step forward and accidently stepped on a twig.

The man immediately turned around. "Oh dear," he said in a beautiful, simpering voice. "Aren't you a pervert; peeking on a woman while she is bathing."

Hagrid swallowed. He was having difficulty getting his brain to work as all of his blood was traveling somewhere else. "I uh-"

"But don't worry," the naked person said. "I like perverts. Allow me to introduce myself; I am Grell Sutcliff, Shinigami and actress extraordinaire!" Random flowers appeared out of know where, falling down in the background, and sparkled had appeared around the red-head's face. "And who are you big boy?"

"Ru-Rubeus Hagrid," Hagrid managed to get out. "Er what's a Shinigami?"

Grell giggled and slithered closer to Hagrid, he was still very much naked. "You don't know what a Shinigami is?" he purred in surprise. "Why it is a god of death!"

"I-I've never heard of 'em," Hagrid said roughly. The Shinigami had gotten very close and was running his/her/its hands over Hagrid's chest.

"I suppose you could call me a grim reaper," the red-head said coyly.

"Am-am I going to die?" Hagrid asked, though is death was this sexy he found that he didn't mind all that much. This was better than seeing Dumbledore get drunk on New Year's and proceed to strip while trying to convince Snape to join in.

"No. I have other plans for you."

"Wh-what?"

"Weeeell," the shinigami said. "You were being naughty and spying on me while I bathed so I should punish you." The way the red-head said it was not at all threatening, but sultry and it made Hagrid think of pole dancers and firewhiskey being poured down a man's fit abs.

"H-how do you plan ter do that?" Hagrid asked his voice gruff.

The Shinigami giggled and caressed Hagrid's cheek with his hand. "I'm sure that I can think of something."

And then the red-head proceeded to drag Hagrid off to do things that this author refuses to write so that she can keep her sanity.

a/n: oh Gremlins was that painful to write. Sex scenes are easier! Anywho is you want to check out my friend's crack fic her fanfiction name is BoxOfChocolatesXxXx. I don't know when she's going to post it, but she will eventually. Anywho please review, you can tell me how awful this was or how scarring or even how funny, I'm not picky.