Once again Sheamus's Instagram provided the fuel for this.
The unmistakable heavenly aroma of fried bacon hit Sheamus square in the face, dragging him reluctantly into consciousness. Bleary eyed and woolly mouthed, he struggled manfully into a semi seated position, slumped against the pillows.
"Good morning dearest! And how are we this fine bright St Patrick's Day morn?"
Wade's unnecessarily chipper voice ricocheted around inside Shea's skull, growing louder with each step the man took closer to the bed.
"Shush. Why you so fucking loud?"
The mattress dipped as Wade sat on the side, the light motion setting off all sorts of unpleasant sensations in the general direction of Shea's stomach.
"What's the matter? Feeling a bit delicate are we? Here, this should help sort you out. Sit up properly."
Wade passed a glass of fresh orange juice to Sheamus, holding his hand out for the empty once the other man drained it in a few long gulps.
"Ta. My mouth was as dry as ghandi's flip flop."
"Hmm, wonder why?"
Smirking, he handed Sheamus a plate, stacked with the food of the gods, or at least the food of the patron deity of the hungover; bacon sandwiches. Lifting the first slice of bread Shea peeked at the contents and cast his eyes to the heavens in gratitude, his hand automatically reaching for the blue and yellow bottle of Chef sauce Wade had carried into the room tucked under his arm.
"Proper bacon! How?"
"Ordered it special online, hid it in the back of the freezer so you wouldn't munch it all…"
Sheamus let out a dirty moan as he took his first bite, eyes rolling in bliss.
"You're fucking amazing…"
"I know. You told me that last night when I collected you. Repeatedly. All the way home."
Shea smiled sheepishly and took another mouthful as Wade made his way out of the bedroom door, only to return a few moments later with a mug in each hand, one topped with a plate loaded with more sandwiches, the other with a covered bowl.
Setting his burden down on the nightstand, Wade sat once more on the bed, gently shoving his boyfriend's legs over to give himself room. He waved at Sheamus to pass him one of the mugs, slapping his leg when his hand started to drift towards the covered bowl.
"You could sit beside me you know…"
Sheamus gestured to Wade's usual spot on the bed with a tip of his head.
"Ah, but then I'd be deprived of witnessing the lovely rosy glow you're about to get once that cuppa works it's way into your system and you start getting the flashbacks from last night...oh! Happening already James? Right on cue."
Wade laughed, sitting back and taking a sip from his mug of builder's tea as a flush spread over Shea's pale cheeks.
"Holy god. Did I...did I try to motorboat your arse in the parking lot?"
"Why thank you for asking James...yes you did. And might I just add that this was after you loudly hollered at the lads that...and I'm quoting you here by the way...that you had to go home now because...this is a quote remember...the wife was here."
Sheamus clapped a hand across his mouth as the memory kicked it's way into his mind.
"Sorry lover."
"Oh I'm not done…"
"Ahhhh...go on then. Hit me with it."
"So after my miraculous sex change AND wedding, you then flapped your arms at me until I got out of the car to come and bodily fetch you, at which point you declared 'm'ere sexy...you have the best arse' and then proceeded to try to motorboat it. After you had played bum bongos of course. You really do need to learn a new tune. Shave and a haircut is getting old."
"In my defence your arse is pretty ama…"
"Amazing? I know. I was there remember. My arse is amazing, my hair is amazing, my eyes are amazing. Oddly my right nipple is amazing, but you didn't mention my left."
"Can I blame the whiskey? You know what they say?"
"Frisky would be putting it nicely. At least you're an affectionate drunk. You could explain one thing for me though."
"What's that?"
"Wanna tell me why you were trying to lick my tattoo off?"
They both fell about laughing. Setting down his mug and the second empty plate, Sheamus moved to get off the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Bathroom. I really want to kiss you but not when my teeth feel like they're covered in cotton wool. Back in a sec."
Wade opened the bedroom windows to let some fresh air in and made himself comfortable against the pillows while he waiting for Shea to freshen up. Returning to the room, the redhead climbed on to the bed, straddling his boyfriend's thighs.
"Thanks for breakfast...honeybunch. You're the best wife…"
"I swear, if those mates of yours start calling me Mrs O'Shaughnessy…"
Sheamus leaned forward to silence Wade with a slow, lazy, minty fresh kiss. As he pulled away at last, he glanced to the still covered bowl sitting on the nightstand.
"What's in it?"
Perking up, Wade reached over and grabbed the bowl, chattering rapidly as he did so.
"Last night when you were out I tried that Nigella recipe. You know the Guinness chocolate cake one on her website? I wanted to surprise you with it today...so surprise! You're getting cake later…"
He gave Shea a wicked grin.
"...and this? Remember when you showed me the page? With the photo of the cake looking like a pint with the frosting all whipped up like the head? Well, there's too much frosting for the cake and one of the comments on the page mentioned that if you have excess, it goes very well with…"
The Englishman scooped a dollop of the white fluff and streaked it across his chest.
"...other people."
Taking the bait, Sheamus ducked down and licked the stripe clean.
"Mmmm. Very nice indeed."
Dipping into the bowl himself, he loaded his fingers with the creamy frosting and painted a swathe below his belly button.
Peering dramatically, Wade let out what could only be described as a giggle.
"Fucking hell James, that frosting's as white as you! Can't see where it ends and you begin!"
"Better get licking then and find out...Mrs O…"
Anything else Sheamus had to say on the matter was lost, the sound swallowed up by the thwump of the pillow Wade swung, lovingly, at his head.