ICICLES

Author's Note: Please READ & REVIEW. This story pretends that both Izzie and George die in the season 5 finale, and that it is the middle of winter. Also, anything medical-related is not real…I'm a bored teenage grey's fan who knows NOTHING about medicine, or much else for that matter lol=) I just make it up as I go along…and I got bored of this, I originally planned to make it longer and more extensive.

Meredith was tired, the kind of bone-aching exhaustion that she would normally associate with clocking twenty consecutive hours at work. But not today. Not when two of her best friends, her very best friends, had died. Izzie had been gone for about an hour, and George had finally flat-lined shortly before that. Now, she stood next to Derek, leaning heavily against his side. She was drawing her last bits of strength from the support his body offered, but she could feel her mental walls swaying.

"I think I'm gonna head home," she whispered.

"Alright, as long as you're sure you can handle this. I'm stuck here tonight, but I should be home before morning," he gently cupped the side of her face in his palm. "Try to get some sleep."

"I will."

She kept her gaze fixed on the tiled floor, hearing his words without really absorbing them. Her mind was spinning, and more than anything, she yearned to be away from this, away from everyone and everything even remotely related to Seattle Grace Hospital. In sudden desperation, she leaned up and planted a quick kiss on Derek's lips before stepping onto the elevator, letting the doors slide shut behind her.

At first, Meredith headed towards her car, fully intending to drive home like she'd told Derek. But before reaching the car, she decided that to be alone, she would have to go somewhere Derek wouldn't think to look, somewhere where she would be able to just escape from all the death and sadness. The memory of her and Cristina jogging through the woods during Cristina's ectopic pregnancy strangely came to mind.

Reaching for her cell phone, she quickly texted Cristina that she was going for a walk and that she had taken the following day off.

She started walking off in the direction of the nearest forest preserve, which was a good three miles down the road from Seattle Grace, but what did she care? Izzie and George were gone; everything solid and whole was coming undone. So she continued to walk, trying to disregard the cold that was quickly cutting through her scrubs. Damn, she cursed inwardly, My jacket is still in the on-call room.

By the time she had reached the first expanse of trail, she was visibly shaking and could not feel her hands. Snow was falling now, glistening in the moonlight amongst the trees with such overwhelming beauty that Meredith was at first taken aback.

How can so much beauty still exist in a world without Izzie and George? She wondered. Without 007? She thought, thinking back to that morning's discovery. He was going to be a trauma surgeon. He was meant to be a trauma surgeon in Iraq…a brave, fearless, unstoppable life-saving force.

But that was all over. George was gone. Izzie was gone, leaving her newlywed Alex just as lost as Meredith.

It should have been me...I'm a couple of years older than them. I should have gone instead. Having my hand on a bomb, almost drowning in the lake…it wouldn't be the first time. As it had in both those previous situations, a small voice in the back of her mind whispered that the hospital wouldn't be losing anything if she were gone.

With the snowfall rapidly picking up, her growing exhaustion, and lack of a coat, Meredith sat down shivering under a large evergreen, feeling as though time were moving unrealistically slow. She half-noticed that her hands were still numb, and that her vision began to grow blurry. With a vague thought as to whether Alex would be alright, Meredith's heavy eyelids closed and her world faded into soft, velvety blackness…but this was short-lived. A/N: fooled yah lol:P To her disappointment,she soon found herself fully conscious again. As her psychiatrist Dr. Wyatt had said so long ago, she was sitting on the line between life and death, waiting for a strong wind to come and blow her one way or the other.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Miranda Bailey's shift had just ended, and what a day it had been. Usually, when she said this, she was referring to the interns' petty relationship dramas, but today, today had truly been the worst day of her entire life. Medical cases and patients alone had been trying and difficult, but with the added revelation that bus guy was in fact George, and that Izzie's cancer was progressing nonstop, it had been more than unbearable. After comforting a grief-stricken Alex to the point where he had finally consented to going home to bed, she herself decided that might not be a bad idea. Tuckers Jr. and Sr. were away camping, so that would leave her some quiet time on her own to think before returning to the hospital the following morning.

Glancing at her watch, she was surprised to see that it was just now approaching midnight. After so many wracking events, it felt as if weeks had passed in the last twenty-four hours. The future brought even more horrors. Funeral arrangements, positions at the hospital now left vacant…she blinked back the tears that had risen at the thought.

"Dr. Bailey, you heading out?" It was Shepherd.

"Yeah." She swallowed hard, trying to keep her calm doctor persona intact.

"I'm here until three. Would you mind checking that Meredith got home all right? I'm surprised she hasn't called." His voice had his usual calm edge, but Miranda picked up on the underlying concern.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind." After all, alone time might not be the best thing for her in this instance. Perhaps checking up on Meredith would give her a few minutes more of distraction.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Shooting her a feeble half-smile and handing her a spare key, he walked off to finish his rounds.

As Miranda walked out to her car, she immediately noticed that Meredith's car was still parked two spots down from hers.

That's strange. Miranda thought. She's probably grieving with Cristina and hasn't left yet.

With that, she called Cristina, who was just getting ready to start her rounds. Cristina explained that Meredith had said she was going for a walk, and that she had not heard from her since. Under normal circumstances, Miranda probably would have cursed under her breathe at Grey, and ordered Yang to go and find her, but tonight, she told Cristina not to worry, that she would handle it. Cristina sounded upset, but too exhausted and emotionally spent to offer to tag along. She merely agreed and went back to work.

I suppose everyone being a little out of sorts is definitely to be expected, Bailey decided.

Getting in her car, she headed in the direction of Meredith's house, struggling to convince herself of the fact that Grey wouldn't do something terribly stupid. However, she thought to herself, her track record says differently. At this, Miranda could feel her heart rate pick up with her growing concern. When she reached the place many of her former interns called home, she scoured the house thouroughly before heading back out to her car. She sat for a moment in silent worry, mulling through a list of places she could have gone. Surely on a day like today she wouldn't go and endanger herself. Again, her instincts confirmed the opposite. She headed back down the road leading to the hospital, staring hard into the trees that lined either side. Suddenly, she had a thought.

Maybe this is where she went for a walk.

Deciding it was a likely possibility, Miranda turned into the lot at the entrance of the forest, but parked her car in the lot leading up to the trail. I guess I'm stuck on foot. Dreading the bitter cold, she began down the path, searching desperately all around her as she drew her scarf tighter around her neck. She looked behind trees at the side of the path, strained her eyes through the stunning brightness of the heavy snow. After about thirty minutes, and about two miles or so of progression down the trail, Miranda's eyes finally came upon a scrub-clad figure huddled under an evergreen, seemingly unconscious.

Approaching cautiously, Miranda immediately approached the figure she now recognized as an ice-cold Meredith. Medical instincts kicking in, Miranda quickly removed her own coat and scarf and gently wrapped them around Meredith's snow-soaked scrubs. Thankfully, Miranda had more layers of clothes on under her coat.

"Grey?" she waited for an answer. "Grey?"

Meredith seemed to be in a stupor; her eyes looked buggy and dazed, and her gaze was fixed on some distant point in space. She shivered violently, pulling Bailey's jacket tighter around herself, and Bailey immediately noted the lack of coordination and the paleness of the skin.

"Grey?" Bailey repeated. "Meredith? It's Dr. Bailey."

Perhaps it was the use of her first name which drew her attention, but whatever it was, Miranda drew some relief from the fact that Meredith had now half-turned her neck to face her. The look on her face was puzzled, as if her mind was just registering Bailey's presence.

After quickly checking Meredith's pulse, Miranda moved onto the next step. She pulled out her cell and dialed 911.

"Hello?"

"This is Dr. Miranda Bailey of Seattle Grace Hospital. I have a patient, Meredith Grey, 32, out in the Seattle Park Woods. Moderate hypothermia, weak pulse, we're about two miles down the trail."

"Alright, doctor, we'll be there momentarily."

Meanwhile, Bailey gently moved Meredith, whose eyelids were now drooping, into a semi-sitting position on a nearby log. Sitting down next to her, she huddled close enough for body-on-body contact to offer whatever warmth she could. Upon noticing that Meredith's eyes were now closing, she tapped an icy cheek with her palm.

"Not now, Grey," she commanded. "Not today. You can't cop out on me now." She could feel her doctor face melting away. Warm tears prickled in the corners of her eyes, and she enfolded her former student into a giant bear hug.

"Meredith Grey. Meredith." She continued to tap the frozen cheeks until, at last she saw the girl's eyes flutter.

"B-bailey…"she croaked, her voice hoarse. The single word seemed awkward as it passed her lips, as if each letter tripped up the next. She seemed unsure of where she was, for she slowly looked around her, taking in the ice-frosted trees and wintry sky. She lay slumped against Bailey's shoulder, unable to support her frigid body. Following more violent shudders, she looked up at Bailey's worried face, and her eyes filled with tears.

In the next few moments, Miranda stared deep into those eyes, finally bringing Meredith's body still closer to her own. She began to grow impatient waiting on the ambulance, and took to rocking the crying girl slowly back and forth on the log.

"I know, Grey, I get it." She whispered, holding back her own tears. "It's okay, you're okay, I promise. We'll all be okay, we'll get through this. Just shhh." At this point, Bailey was uncertain whether she was talking more to console herself or Meredith. She felt Izzie and George drifting back into her thoughts, and forcefully tried to remove them.

"S-s-r-y" Meredith mumbled.

"What?"

"S-s-s-sor-ry."

At this, Bailey only pulled her closer. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Not even running out into the freezing woods like an idiot. None of us could have changed what happened today."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, baby."

Caught in the moment of Bailey's unusual display of affection, Meredith startled at the sound of sirens approaching. Before either of them knew it, medical personnel were loading Meredith onto a stretcher, beginning to warm her up, and she and Bailey were on their way back to the hospital. Yes, maybe everything would be alright after all. Because, as both Bailey and Meredith knew, there was hope. There was always hope, even when bright and shiny seems so very far away.

END

BY: SHANNYPANTS