"But you must let me in!" I cried, trying once more to push past the man.
"You cannot go in. There are too many sick people in this ward." He replied calmly. "Please, it can wait until tomorrow, correct?"
"No, It Cannot!" I spat, but I stop pushing and spun around on my heels. I promised myself I would come by the next day and go in to see Edward, my boyfriend, who was dearly sick.
"I am home, Mother." I called, stepping up on the long wooden stairs.
"Is that you, Clarissa?" Mother asked, pushing open the kitchen door. "Where have you been, silly girl?"
"I wanted to see Edward." I told her, trying hard to keep the sadness from my voice. "But they would not let me in!"
"Well, I think you spend too much time with him." She dusted off her hands, which were covered it a thin powder.
"Mother!" I whined, but quickly brushed off my dress and tried not the give her one of my hard scowls. "Edward is very sick, and no one visits him. He deserves to have someone see him." I entwined my hands together behind my back.
She sighed impatiently, and I knew I crossed the line. "Clarissa, please get your brothers. They are up in Fredrick's room." I drummed my fingers against the metal banister, and then thumped nosily up the stairs.
"Fredrick!" I shouted down the hall, not bothering to make only a few steps from my room. "Mother wants to talk to you both!" There was a clutter of wooden toys when the twins, Fredrick and Bryce, ran down the hallway.
I sighed and walked into my room. It was rather small, but I had managed to fit an expensive feather bed into the corner, a white vanity sheltered by a large window. My clothes were in a small toy box that Father had made when I was younger.
The walls were a pink color; the floor was wooden but had a white plush carpet covering most of it. My vanity had an enormous mirror, and I waltzed up to it.
At the age of 16, I had bright blonde hair running to my hip that anyone could pick out anywhere. I had blazing blue eyes the color of the ocean, pale skin that was rather attractive to many girls, and a thin waist, but was very mature in other places. Most guys looked at me in small obviousness, but I was used to it.
I was so attracted to Edward Anthony Mason because he never looked at me in an attracted way, and I remember promising myself to become Mrs. Clarissa Sabelina Mason.
But, after several months, Edward had gotten sick. No, scratch that. His whole family was sick. His Father already passed away, and everyone thought Edward was next. I visited him everyday, but lately, all I was able to do was watch him behind a clear curtain while A blonde doctor named Carlisle worked on him.
"He might die any day, Clare." Beatrice told me. Beatrice was fairly short, but was very beautiful with her long black hair, lightly tanned skin, and round green eyes. "You know this, but you won't admit it."
"Hush, Beatrice." I told her sharply. "He's still breathing, and he might get better." She looked away and started talking to the girl beside her. As Miss Castle rapped the wooden ruler in her hand, I started thinking. What if Edward did die? What would I do? Who would I marry? What would my future be like? What about my children? I shivered, and everyone was staring at me.
"Miss Wilcox, can you answer the question?" I stood up and swallowed loudly. A few boys that I despised snickered.
"What was the question?" I asked quietly. Beatrice rubbed my hand comfortingly.
"If Maurice had Five Apples, and he ate three, how many would he have left?"
"Two." I said, blushing vigorously. Luke hooted with laughter, ceasing at once with Miss Castle's iron glare. This was going to be a long week.
"Excuse me." I said angrily, shoving past someone. "I have permission to see Edward Mason."
"By who?" he asked gruffly. I frowned, then spotted Carlisle talking to worried couples.
"Carlisle." I told him, then shoved past him successfully. I pushed open the cold wooden door and walked over to Edward. His eyes were open, and he was staring at the ceiling,
"Clarissa?" he asked, sitting up. "I was wondering when you'd show up!" I laughed and sat next to him in his bed.
"I've missed you, too." I smiled softly. "How is your mother?"
"Not well, but better." He held my hand, then put it up to his lips and kissed it.
"That's good." I replied lamely. He shrugged and sat up fully.
"So, how is your Mother?" I almost laughed aloud.
"She's perfectly well." I frowned, and a look of concern spread across his face. "Except, she doesn't think I should see you. She doesn't think you're good for me."
"Well, why did you come?" he asked quietly. I felt bad; I was making him upset when the whole point of my visits were to keep him happy and alive.
"Because I love you." I replied softly. "And she has a point." I told him, smiling, pushing myself farther into the covers, "I could get sick."
"Then leave if you think that." He snapped. The thing with his medicine that Carlisle was giving him was that it made him have mood swings.
"I didn't mean it like that." I told him, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "I meant it as a joke."
"So, I heard Clarissa is here!" Carlisle laughed from behind me.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I am here, visiting my favorite person." He chuckled and held Edwards wrist, checking his pulse.
Carlisle was pale like me, but almost white. He had golden brown eyes, pearly white teeth, and light blondish hair. I always had an urge to run away from him, but I had long out grown it.
"That's good." He replied, and I looked up at him. He was around twenty-five if I was not mistaken.
"How old are you, exactly?" I asked, and when he looked at me, I added, "Only tell me if you feel comfortable, though."
"Twenty-four." I was close.
"I'm sixteen, soon to be seventeen after Edward." I told him, and he nodded. Edward was absentmindedly rubbing my hand, staring out into the distance.
"I remember when I was sixteen." Carlisle said, stepping back and pulling something out from is tote. "I was in Italy."
"That's grand!" I smiled, running my fingers over Edward's. "I always wanted to go to Italy. Is it nice there?"
"Very." He replied, taking a tube with a needle. I remembered it, it was called a shot.
"Do they hurt?" I asked suddenly. He pushed the needle into Edward's skin, and I shivered.
"No, not typically." Edward said, and we both looked down at him. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it to one side. Carlisle stiffened slightly, and I glanced at him.
"Edith lived in Italy." I thought out loud. "She say's there's vampires. She said she saw one." Carlisle's eyes narrowed, and I caught them. "Oh, did you see one?" I asked quietly.
"No." He replied numbly. "Excuse me."
It was pale, and had fangs, Believe it! Fangs and red eyes. But, some of them have golden ones that remind you of Barley's fur. They're really cold, too!
"So, you lived in Italy, Edith?"
"Yeah, but only until Mother was attacked. She turned into one, Clarissa! I was afraid she was going to change me."
I snapped from my flash back, and I looked up at Carlisle, who had returned. "May I speak with you for a second?" I asked politely, stepping off the bed and smoothing out my red skirt and black corset blouse.
"Of course." I gestured to a small supply closet, and he followed. I shut the door behind me, but I kept one hand on the doorknob.
"I know what you are, and I want to do me a favor." I said coldly, and he looked at me in surprise.
"You know what I am?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, you are a vampire. But, I won't tell anyone on one condition." His eyes narrowed.
"What is that?"
"Change Edward." I told him flatly. "Change him. Let him live," I choked out the word slowly, "Forever."
He crossed his arms, and I thought he was going to say yes. But instead, he came toward me, and before I could react, he whispered in my ear, "No."
"Please." I started to beg, but he cupped a hand around my mouth, and I shivered violently.
"Shush." He commanded. He twirled my hair into curls and let go of them. My back was against the door, and my hands were frantically pulling at his hand uselessly.
"Let me go, or I'll scream." I threatened, but it came out muffled. I blinked angrily, and shoved against him.
"If you scream, then I won't change him." He told me quietly. "If you want me to change him, you have to let him go."
"Never." My voice cracked like broken glass.
"Then he can die." He shrugged, and then let go of me, and I stumbled and was sprawled across the floor.
"Fine." I said numbly. "I'll let him go. I'll never see him again." Carlisle smiled, mumbled something, then opened the door. I curled up my knees, and sobbed Edward's name over and over again.
I heard a cry of pain, a frantic scream of Edward, and I knew he had to be bitten. "I love you, Edward." I said coldly, not feeling anything. "Remember I love you."
I sat in my room in my corset and pantaloons, deciding what would be the best dress to wear to run away. It had been almost a week, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I was failing in school work, Father had already sent me to my room for breaking precious dishes, and I sometimes just wondered around doing nothing.
It was scaring Father and Mother, and even Fredrick and Bryce noticed. I used to scream at them for raiding my room, but now, I really didn't care. Barley, my loyal dog, was the only one not aware. He still slept beside my bed, whimpering loudly when I started sobbing.
Beatrice was slowly slipping away. I didn't understand how, but suddenly, she stopped talking to me. At first, I tried so hard to talk to the black-haired girl, but then, I stopped caring, stopped believing that she would finally see me instead of through me.
"We're sending you to Grandmothers!" Father told me, despite my pleading cries. Blossom View was the only place in the world that could tell me Edward was real, not just a dream. "Your Mother, brothers, and I have decided we cannot have you sulking everywhere."
"But Father, what if I saw Beatrice?" I asked innocently. Of course, I wouldn't go see her, which was a crazy idea. But maybe I'd go and try to find Edward, and explain that I really did love him, only it was a bargain that had to be made.
"I thought you said Beatrice never talked to you anymore." Father said suspiciously.
"Well, she has now." I told him pushing my show on. "I'll go visit her."
After that, I had ran around town, ignoring everyone's joyful 'Hello's' at me being outside for once. I poked into the Jewelry's and the Market, and even headed over to the poor side of town and looked at the Thatcher's. Without luck, I whimpered back home in the pouring rain.
"We're still sending you to Grandmothers." Father had told me, closing his Bible. I had begged, but only that could go only so far.
So now here I was, wondering what I should wear. I had a few small loafs of bread and a wrapping of butter in a basket, a container full of cold water sitting on top. I had stuffed some play clothes into the basket along with a green emerald dress for formal appearances.
I slipped on a blue dress with crystal embroidery along the ruffles. "I'll be down by the river bank." I said, holding up the basket. "I need to wash my clothes. I shall be home by dinner." That gave me enough time to get far enough from the river than most people would look.
"Take Mystic." Mother told me, taking a peek at the clothes. At least all the food was at the bottom, and she didn't root through it. Mystic was our horse. It hurt me dearly that she trusted me so much.
"Okay Mother." I told her, giving her a peck on the cheek. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Be back by dinner." She called as I walked out the door, my heart pounding in my head so hard that I barely heard her.
And I knew that it was the last time I would ever see her. And indeed it was, because myself and Mystic drowned in the deep river that I never walked upon.
My Last Thought:
I love you, Edward Mason.