It was the end of the year and every member of the palace staff was sitting on one of three buses on their way to Camp Renaldi, an appropriately named camp near the border of Spain. The camp was founded by a bored member of the royal family many years ago, it was a place for relaxation, fun times and getting to know each other outside of work. Everyone on staff was obliged to come and spend three days and two nights at the camp at the end of every working year. Outside security personnel were hired to guard every entrance to the palace while everyone was away, so regular security personnel had no reason not to attend.
The staff would be staying in small cabins containing four beds and a very small bathroom. Names were drawn randomly from a hat to decide who would be sharing a cabin. They would eat in the mess hall and participate in activities during the day, then a disco was held every night. On day three there would be a staff meeting in which the queen would give a speech about ethics and teamwork - yes, she was going too. This year however, her sons outright refused to join in the fun since they'd just lost their father to cancer.
Most of the staff were excited about the trip, except for one particular grouch who always tried (and failed) to find a reasonable excuse to get out of it. Joseph had been through enough of these to last him a lifetime. Sure they were fun in the beginning, but after having been to 27 of them, the effort was getting tiresome. There was too much extra work involved, for example, hiring extra staff to watch the palace while they were away, training them, then completing all the paperwork that came with their three days of employment.
He tried many times to talk his way out of it, but no matter how much he tried, Clarisse always had a way of making him come around.
Joseph sat behind her on the bus banging his head against the glass, she turned around frowning, "Must you make that noise?"
Looking up lazily at her, he groaned, "I can either bang my head on the glass or on the barrel of my shotgun. Which would you prefer?"
"You mean right this moment?" She tried to lighten the mood, but received a shake of the head.
Grinning, she leant close to him, "I know you're sick of these camps, but look on the brightside, you're getting paid for not working."
He didn't reply, instead he stood up and leaned towards the driver, "I'll give you a thousand dollars if you turn the bus around right now."
The queen overheard Joseph's proposition and reached over, pulling his arm until he was back in his seat, "It doesn't work like that."
"Madam, I know these camps are designed to help the staff get to know each other on a personal basis and to help us learn about team work, but I have been to 27 of these and I can confirm that nobody's attitude ever changes!"
The queen shook her head at him, "Strange, I've noticed people are friendlier towards each other after attending the end of year camp."
Knowing she was right, Joseph bit his lip, "I just can't help thinking there's better things I can do with this time."
She raised an eyebrow, "For example?"
"Mowing my aunt's lawn, it's almost a foot tall! Or I could visit my nephews, I haven't seen them in three months."
Clarisse put a hand to her cheek, "Is that all you can think of?"
A cheeky smile played on his lips, "Well, I could have spent this weekend visiting the parlours in the city..."
Her mouth dropped, "Joseph!"
"My apologies, I was merely making a joke," he lied.
"Surely there's something you can look forward to on this trip?"
"Well...there's a small possibility I might get laid..."
The queen frowned and crossed her arms, "Joseph!"
Half an hour later the three busloads of palace employees arrived at Camp Renaldi, it took a surprisingly long amount of time to unload the passengers and their baggage, and many people were stretching and yawning from the one hour journey. After each person had collected their suitcase, they walked over to a large outdoor stage and filed into the grandstand. Immediately Charlotte rushed to the queen's side as she began speaking, Joseph stood at the back of the stands.
"Welcome everybody to Camp Renaldi. I see many old faces here today," Clarisse smiled at Joseph as he looked away, "I also see a lot of fresh faces. Many of you are aware that Camp Renaldi was formed over one hundred years ago, but do you know why it was formed?"
Joseph rolled his eyes and hid under the wooden staircase, she made this same speech every year, a history of 'Camp Renaldi' he unfortunately knew it by heart. As she continued speaking, he lit a cigarette and pulled a pair of earphones out of his pocket, sticking them in his ears as soon as he could and selecting a song on the iPod his brother had given him for Christmas. Five minutes later he peeked out from behind the stairs and pulled out one of the plugs.
"-in order for staff to relax and take it easy-"
Immediately he put the plug back in, he couldn't believe she wasn't finished yet. Usually her speech went on for five minutes maximum, but she kept rambling on.
Joseph finished his cigarette and lit another one, wondering when on earth she was going to shut up.
He leant against the grandstand looking around at the scenery. He'd already spent 81 days of his life here against his will, now he had to stay another 3 days. Shaking his head he smoked the cigarette down to the filter and poked his head out again - alas! The speech was over!
Out came the earplugs as he walked around the grandstand and into the queen's view, she caught his eye and gave him a disappointed smile. She was about to start drawing the names out.
"Many of you will know that cabin selections are not based on gender unless you have otherwise specified not to be sheltered with members of the opposite sex."
Half of the newcomers smiled gleefully, the others looked worrisome at each other.
"Come now, we are all adults."
Joseph listened as the first four names came out of the hat, none were his.
Generally it took twenty minutes to sort people into their cabins, however there were a lot more staff this year and after ten minutes, Joseph's name still hadn't been called out - he wondered for a moment whether it was actually in there. If it wasn't, he might be able to go home.
Shortly most people were settling into their cabins, except for five people who remained seated in the stands. Clarisse pulled out four names from the hat and read them aloud, "Tamsin, Jessica, Rachael and-"
Silently she studied the piece of paper in her hand, then looked to the two men sitting in front of her. Suddenly visions of the previous year's camp came flooding into her mind, she'd shared a cabin with the man sitting beside Joseph, who had decided to sneak into her bed uninvited while she was asleep so he could fondle her. She'd woken up in a panic and smacked him across the face, causing his nose to bleed for several hours. He would have been fired, had he not been the best flower arranger in the country.
Suddenly she had a decision to make, the name on the piece of paper read, 'Joseph' and she knew that if she sent him off with the girls, she would be alone with this vile man in the one cabin. And anyway, she didn't want Joseph to be in with the girls incase he decided to seduce them. He'd been known to do so in the past, but this year something inside of her thought it wasn't right. She could put herself in with the girls, however she felt the three women might not be comfortable sharing with the queen because they always fell silent when she was around. There was only one solution to her problem and although it pained her to lie, she felt it was in the best interests of everyone who remained cabin-less.
Joseph waited impatiently for his name to be read out, he kept his fingers crossed hoping he would be the one spending two nights in the company of these young ladies, but when the queen read out Jacque's name instead, the excitement died and his hopes were shattered - Jacque looked disappointed also.
"Well Joseph, it looks like we're to be sharing the last cabin," she blushed.
He gave her a disappointed smile and grabbed both his and her bags, then followed her up past the giant swing and into the cabin area. When they reached cabin 22, Joseph opened the door and allowed her to pass through it, before entering himself. The cabin was identical to every other cabin in the vicinity - there were two sets of bunk beds in the room, a narrow door to the miniature bathroom and a small window beside every bed. Clarisse thanked Joseph for carrying her bag in as he gently placed it on the floor, he threw his own bag effortlessly onto a top bunk and decided he would definitely be sleeping on the bottom.
Nobody, besides the queen, ever bothered unpacking on these trips, they were generally more preoccupied with enjoying the rest and relaxation opportunities the camp had to offer.
Joseph relaxed onto the bottom bunk and breathed out slowly, he was very disappointed at being placed with the queen, as much as he adored her, he didn't want to be stuck with her as a roommate. She wouldn't want to have fun with him.
"Why did you do that?" He asked bitterly from the bottom bunk, staring at the slats on the bunk above him.
"Do what?" The queen asked, already knowing what he meant.
"In all the years I've been here I've never been shacked up with you, it just never happens. You deliberately put Jacque with the girls instead of me."
Clarisse didn't even ask how he knew that, "I apologise. It's just…well…you remember what he did last year?"
Joseph nodded, "Yeah, I know."
She walked over to him and patted his shoulder, "I know you hate these things, but it will all be over before you know it."
He faked a smile and turned his back to her, "Yeah."
"Are you coming to eat or are you going to stay in here and sulk?"
Rolling out of bed he cracked his neck and opened the door for her, "Your majesty."
"You should know by now I do not wish to be addressed formally at these camps," she smiled, walking through the door.
"That's exactly why I said it," he grinned, closing the door behind them.
Lunch was soon served and the entire staff sat eating in the mess hall. Joseph had escorted Clarisse to lunch, but not sat with her as he wished to speak with his friends – Michael, Cory and Nick. They were discussing how lucky they had been to be placed in the same cabin, where as Joseph spoke of his resentment towards Clarisse deliberately placing him in her cabin.
"Perhaps she wanted you there as protection," one of them suggested, "We all remember what happened last time with Jacque."
"Yeah," the rest agreed.
"Or maybe she wants you for some other reason," Cory winked, before adding, "Like somebody to eat cake with and share good conversation."
Michael had been silent until now, but spoke up, "I just don't understand why she would want you to share a cabin with you instead of all the other potential people she could share with…me for example?"
Joseph smiled and shook his head, "I don't know boys, maybe she fancies me?"
The whole table went silent and Joseph instantly regretted saying that.
"Maybe she does!" Nick smiled.
"Yeah, maybe she fancies a little Joseph tonight."
Growing red with embarrassment, Joseph looked away and noticed the queen smiling in his direction from across the room. No way could she fancy him.
The boys were looking at him expectantly and he wasn't sure what to say.
"You should go for it," Michael nodded.
"I don't think-"
"Yeah!" Cory cheered.
"No really, I'm sure she's not-"
"Wouldn't that be something to remember, a root with the queen," Nick trailed off dreamily.
Joseph was a little disgruntled by his choice of words, "One does not 'root' the queen."
"But you would if she offered, right Joe?"
All three of them moved their heads towards Joseph as if it would make hearing his answer any easier.
"Well if she offered…"
The four men laughed excitedly by the prospect of Joseph trying to "make it" with the queen. They discussed tactics on how to make it an easier task. Michael suggested the three of them could play soft music outside their room, but Joseph pointed out that if they did do that, he would murder them.
After lunch, Clarisse made another speech about the activities that would be taking place for the day. Joseph was selected for archery, which was something he could do very well as he'd practiced it for the past 24 camps in a row. He hit the bullseye every time and held the camp record for over 17 years. But today he was so distracted thinking about the inappropriate conversation they'd had at lunch that he missed the target every time. He returned to the cabin disappointed and hoped Clarisse wasn't in there. He was lucky, it looked as if she'd just gone out. He rushed for his bag and searched around in it for his hipflask. Orienteering was next on the agenda and he wasn't going to be paired up with some ninny without his hipflask.
Arriving just on time he waited with thirteen other people while the instructor read out the instructions and grouped them into pairs. Joseph was paired with a brainless looking dodo wearing glasses, whom he'd never met before.
"I'm Kelvin, but you can call me Kel," the red haired teenager extended his hand.
"I'm Joseph," he replied, reluctantly taking the boy's hand and shaking it, "You may call me Joseph."
"Haha, funny. But I know who you are."
Joseph took a swig from his hipflask and attached it to his belt. Alcohol wasn't allowed at the camp, but he just didn't care anymore.
"Listen kid, I've done this orienteering course a hundred times and it's always the same. You end up at the river, the message is in the water and it always says "teamwork", so why don't we just cut the bullshit, write the answer down our cards and drop them in the box so we can both save ourselves some time okay?"
Joseph walked away from the boy who was calling out to him, but he didn't turn back, he just drank some more scotch and snuck back to his cabin again.
When he entered he breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed onto the bed. There was only one thing he liked about being in this place and that was having peace and quiet. The only noises to be heard were the slight whooshing of the trees, the birds chirping happily outside and the bathroom door opening slowly, footsteps following slightly after. Joseph turned his head and saw the queen soaking wet wearing nothing but a towel. She obviously hadn't noticed he'd entered the room, so he stayed silent as possible, watching to make sure she didn't spot him skipping the orienteering session.
Her face was buried in the cupboard looking for something to wear and Joseph couldn't stop staring at her. He'd never seen her in a towel before, in fact he'd never seen this much of her and even doubted her husband had when he was alive.
When she found a new tracksuit to put on, she dropped her towel and faced the other way. Joseph's eyes were wide open, he needed to cough, but the desire to see the queen naked, if only for a few more seconds, was too great and he resisted making any sort of noise whatsoever.
He noticed she was humming a familiar tune and he followed along in his head. She bent down slightly to put her underwear on and Joseph nearly had heart attack. When she turned around he could hardly breath, especially when he noticed she was looking directly at him with her lips slightly parted.
'Uh-oh, I'm in shit,' Joseph thought to himself, just before the screaming started.
"AAAAHHHHH!"
Her voice pierced his ears and he sat upright immediately as she screamed some more, trying desperately to retrieve her towel from the floor. His heart was racing and his hands were clasped tightly over his ears, but the sound still came through. The queen was undoubtedly pissed off. She was too upset to even cover her remaining nakedness. She grabbed a pillow and started smacking his head with it, he responded by attempting to block the blows. But she was too angry and abandoned the pillow, deciding her fists would hurt more.
"Clarisse, you're still naked!" He managed to squeal before another fist pounded his arm.
Stopping suddenly, she looked down at herself and instinctively held her hands over her breasts, which without a bra on hung halfway down her stomach.
"What do you think you're doing in here?"
Joseph held a hand over his sore cheek, "I was just resting."
Clarisse turned away and picked up her towel again, covering everything she could with it, "You're supposed to be out orienteering!"
"And you're supposed to be out canoeing, but instead you're in here taking a relaxing shower!"
"I was canoeing, Tony and I came third in the semi-finals, then I stood up in the boat and we both fell in the river! We had to swim for thirty seconds to reach the shore! After which we each needed to take a long shower."
"Well I'm sorry I walked in on you getting dressed."
"You could have said something earlier instead of watching me! Oh my god, you saw everything! Oh how embarrassing," she suddenly went really red, "You would have seen my sagging buttocks, aged skin, overhanging stomach and wrinkly chest…"
Taking a big chance, Joseph stood up and held his head high, "If it's any consolation, I think you have a beautiful body."
Trying hard not to smile, she turned her head away, "You're just saying that."
"How you interpret my words is entirely up to you."
Smiling honestly, she asked him if she were allowed to dress herself in private and he stood outside the door patiently. He too needed to cool down after seeing what he'd just seen. And after three minutes of non stop adult thoughts about his queen, she opened the door and suggested he come back in.
Clarisse sat red-faced and fully clothed on her bed and watched Joseph take a seat on his own bed, "I wish to make a deal with you Joseph."
"I'm listening."
"You speak of this to nobody and I will overlook you skipping your orienteering session."
"Agreed," he stood up and shook her hand, then returned to his bed and lay down, "You know I'm too old for this, right?"
"Nobody is too old. If I can row across a lake, you can at least walk to it."
"I thought you said you fell in?" He grinned cheekily at her.
She stepped towards his bed and playfully slapped him, "Well, up you get! Back to it!"
Joseph stared shamelessly at her body and smiled before leaving the room. Clarisse went even redder than before and placed a worrying hand on her forehead.
Later that evening after dinner and a motivational talk from one of the camp leaders, Joseph walked back to the cabin and saw that the light was on. Cheekily he covered his eyes and opened the door, "I hope you're decent this time."
As he lowered his hand, he was greeted by Clarisse, two very nervous looking ladies and a gentleman seated at a small round table. The two ladies had shocked expressions on their faces, Clarisse and the man simply raised their eyebrows.
"Er-hem...thankyou for that, Joseph. Allow me to introduce Katya, Leah and Bruce to you. We're playing cards this evening, would you care to join us? There's almost enough room."
"You can take my chair!" Katya almost screamed at him, eager to get away from the awkwardness of having to make conversation with the queen, "I was too tired to play anyway. Think I'll go to bed."
Like a bolt of lightning she was out of there, relieved not to be obliged to converse with the queen. Joseph stood completely still and observed the remaining players, "I guess I could play a game or two. Not much else to do around here."
Clarisse rolled her eyes as Bruce dealed him in.
"Poker, nice. I didn't think you would be into this, your majesty?"
"We're not gambling with money."
"Oh?" He grinned, "So we're playing strip poker? Well it beats imagining…"
Clarisse went red knowing full well what he was imagining, "We're not playing for money or a strip-tease."
"Then what's the point of playing?" Joseph smirked.
Bruce agreed nervously, "He's right, you know."
"We are playing for fun," Clarisse tried to make them understand, "There is to be no gambling in my presence."
So without further interruption they began playing, Joseph was chip leader for the first few rounds, but was soon taken over by Bruce. Clarisse, having never really played before, had only one chip left which she played and lost, so was first out of the game. Joseph smiled as she retreated to the comfortable seating of her bed. The game continued and shortly after, Bruce was knocked out, leaving only Joe and Leah in the game. Joseph had only two hundred less in chips than Leah, but was getting cocky. Leah's cards were shaking in her hands, the table contained an ace, a queen and a ten. She looked at her cards and then at Joseph who seemed quite confidant. He stared her down and glanced at his cards again, "Raise you five hundred."
Leah, feeling quite intimidated, began sweating and pushed a few more chips into the middle.
The next card was drawn, a jack. Joseph's eyes lit up and he pushed every one of his chips into the middle, "All in."
Leah looked at her cards again, then pushed all her chips in as well, "All in."
The two waited anxiously for the last card to be drawn and as a two of spades was flipped over.
"And show."
They watched as Leah turned her cards over, revealing that she had nothing, "You win."
Jumping up from the table and slamming his pair of jacks on the table he cheered, "Yesss!"
But after a moment, he calmed down and sat back at the table, "Oh I forgot we're not playing for real money.
Bruce rose from his chair and yawned, "Think I'll call it a night," then headed towards the door.
"I guess I should go, too. You probably want your beauty sleep, your majesty," Leah smiled sweetly, "Oh, not that you need your beauty sleep."
Smiling politely, Clarisse bid her goodnight and closed the door, "Looks like it's just you and I, Joseph."
"Shall I deal again, madam?"
"Yes. I think one more game couldn't hurt."
As he started shuffling the cards again, he watched her sit down, "However, let's make it interesting this time."
She shot a surprised glance at him, "I told you, no gambling."
Joseph shook his head and started to deal the cards, "It's not gambling. What if instead of winning money, the winner gets one reasonable request granted?"
Clarisse pondered this for a moment, wondering exactly what he had in mind and whether it had something to do with what he'd seen earlier. Reluctantly she agreed, thinking she understood a bit more about the game from watching them play earlier and was more confident she could win.
"Great," Joseph smiled as she picked up her cards, "Let the game begin."
An hour later...
"Oh darn, I really thought I was going to win," Clarisse moaned, after nearly ending the game in her favour.
"Woohoo!" Joseph smiled, glad to have actually won something this time around.
As he danced around the table, Clarisse shook her head and tried to get his attention, which she did eventually, "Well then Joseph, what is your REASONABLE request?"
Casually sitting back down, he placed an arm around the back of his chair, "I haven't thought of one just yet."
"We've been playing for over an hour, surely something must have crossed your mind?"
Shaking his head, he replied, "Nup. But when I think of it you'll be the first to know. I'm going to take a shower."
Blushing from earlier's events, she nodded, "Alright, I'll pack up the cards."
When he went into the bathroom and closed the door, Clarisse decided to take this opportunity to change into her pyjamas. She kept her eye on the door the whole time to make sure he didn't poke his head out for another peek, and in record time she removed her clothes and put on her pink and white striped, two piece flannelette pyjamas. She then put her clothes into her empty suitcase and stood in front of her bed. This was the only time of year in which she would turn down her own bed and as she did, she smiled. Carefully she ducked her head and climbed into the bed, pulling the doona up over her chest. She put on her reading glasses and opened a book, placing the bookmark next to her. She began reading.
Joseph was in the shower no longer than five minutes before he came out, sporting a towel over his shoulder. He walked past Clarisse and opened his suitcase to get out his toothbrush. It was then that Clarisse noticed he was standing there naked and immediately covered her eyes, "Oh Joseph!"
"What? What's wrong?"
"You're naked!"
He looked down at his body and nodded, "I thought it was the fashion."
Clarisse removed her hand from her eyes and blushed at how he had seen her naked earlier.
"I had a good look at you, I thought I'd return the favour."
She looked at him, then quickly turned away, trying to avoid eye contact with him, "That's very generous of you," she looked at him again, "But hardly appropriate...would you please put your pyjamas on?"
"I'm wearing them," he smiled playfully as he re-entered the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"God..." Clarisse muttered to herself, it was too much excitement to handle. She realised she'd just read the same line in her book twelve times.
"You're blushing, your majesty," he whispered as he came back out and jumped into bed naked.
She looked across to him and put her bookmark in, "Hardly surprising, considering."
"Shall I turn off the light?" Joseph asked, about to climb out of bed.
"Yes, thank- I mean NO! I'll do it!"
And with that, she got up and turned off the light, then felt her way back to bed. At least with the lights off he couldn't see her blushing, but she sensed he still could. Clarisse lay awake and listened to the noises outside, something she did every year. She listened to the creek that ran alongside the camp, the crickets in the ground and the rustling of the trees outside.
"God it's noisy here," Joseph lied, making Clarisse smile, "27 years and I'm still not used to it."
"I find it calming," Clarisse replied, "Much nicer than the constant footsteps walking past my door at the palace."
"You should try sleeping in the room I was in when I first started, it was right next to the electric room. All you could ever hear was BUZZZZZ."
"Well that's very-"
"BZZZZZ," Joseph added, "Couldn't sleep a wink."
"You're not one with nature then?"
He shifted and put his hands behind his head, "There's some activities I enjoy doing outdoors, but only with another person."
"Would that be a person of the female variety?" She asked cheekily.
"Yes, and blonde."
Shaking her head, Clarisse pulled the doona up around her ears and stayed silent for a while. Joseph found himself casually fondling his crotch, he wasn't looking for a response from it, it's just where he kept his hand as he slept.
He noticed Clarisse had been silent for a while and wondered if he had offended her. He wasn't too fussed if he had or not, he had such high status in Genovia that he could say almost anything to her and not lose his job.
Suddenly she spoke and his doubts eased off, "It's nice to not sleep alone for once. Ever since Rupert passed I find bedtime sort of...sad. But I'm glad I can share conversation with you...I'm not talking too much am I?"
"I enjoy speaking with you, Clarisse."
Grinning uncontrollably, she replied, "I'm happy you're my roommate, Joseph."
"And well...I guess I'm getting used to it," he joked.
Another silence came, but was broken by Joseph wanting to communicate a little longer, "So what were you reading just now?"
Clarisse turned to face the darkness where his voice was coming from and whispered, "It's called The Lost Summer. It's about a girl who falls for a man she met in Paris, only to find he's been married for almost as long as she's been alive and she's heartbroken over it and to make matters worse, her mother has cancer. Did you really want to know all that or were you just making conversation?"
"Conversation," Joseph muttered, finding the story boring and cliché, "But as long as you're enjoying it."
"It's not the best book I've ever read, but I promised the author I'd read it."
"You should read my book sometime, it's about a boy who is so repulsed by the thought of falling in love that he vows never to see the same woman more than once. Then later on in life he starts getting feelings for someone he works for and no matter how hard he tries to push her out of his mind, she's there every day of his life and he's scared that if he were to express his feelings to her, she might not feel the same."
"Sounds like a fantastic read, I never knew you'd written a book."
"I didn't, it was just a bit of trivia about myself. Make of it what you will."
Clarisse's brain processed the information and concluded that he might be talking about herself. She wasn't sure how to take his sudden unexpected declaration of his attraction to her, so she stayed silent until an awkward amount of time had gone by, then spoke, "Why did you tell me that?"
She was glad he couldn't see the confused expression on her face when he said, "I thought perhaps you could help me write the sequel."
Shifting in her bed she sighed, she wasn't ready for a romance yet, she'd just lost her husband, "To be honest, I've never considered myself much of a writer."
Joseph's voice went softer, "So you won't help me?"
"Not immediately, I'm still recovering from my last-"
She couldn't think of a word she wanted to end that sentence with, so she added sorrowfully, "It's too soon."
Nodding through the darkness, he understood perfectly. It's why he dared not speak directly of his intentions, incase she took it the wrong way.
"In that case, I would like to instigate my reasonable request."
Smiling, she whispered, "I almost forgot about that. What is your reasonable request?"
"That you fix it so we share a cabin again next year?"
Clarisse giggled to herself and nodded, "I think I can arrange that."
"You might even enjoy it."
"I think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Joseph."
"Doesn't hurt to hope, does it?"
Another silence followed as Clarisse continued to grin, "I think we should call it a night. See you in the morning."
"First thing."
"Goodnight Joseph."
"Goodnight, my dear."
Joseph closed his eyes and buried his head in his pillow thinking about how if he played his cards right, they might be falling asleep in each other's arms this time next year. And for once in his life, Joseph actually looked forward to the end of year camp.
Something I started writing two years ago and decided to finish. Hope you found it somewhat enjoyable. R & R