The Chronicles of a Madman or a Crazies' Tale
Alot of people have alot of things to say about the antics, actions and overall acts performed by a Crazy, most of these things are definitely of a negative nature, and are usually followed closely by a mob of well armed and (sometimes) well meaning people bent on driving said crazy from thier midst. Wait! what is a Crazy you ask? Well my friend you are in luck ain't ya you see before you rests the genuine article, a true blue crazy, wait now, don't be climbing up the walls or nothing I'm not gonna hurt ya, there ya go sit your butt down, you don't need to be getting all worried you got questions and i got answers so lets get this show on the road.
Yes, Crazies are a bit, ah, touched in the head, we got the moniker for a pretty good reason, yes even me, no i ain't going to tell you how or why i am crazy just that i can remember when i wasn't, thats all you need to know.
Most Crazies don't start off nuts but the magnets in our heads are a sure and steady madness generator, doesn't matter how strong you think your will is how tough you think you are eventually, one day, you just start to notice things are a bit off and it only gets worse, but the trade off is worth it if only cause you can make the world a bit better for everyone else, selfless ain't I?
The list of craziness is a loooong one i once read a report on our kind it was... disheartening to say the least, if your lucky you only get a weird zannyness or hyperactive wacko, who's afraid of tea kettles and tractor tires, and wont cross the street on Tuesdays unless its raining. Its the unlucky ones who have it bad...i don't really want to talk about the unlucky ones, this is no place for them to be mentioned, if i tell you some of my quirks will you drop it for now?
Alright, I'm scared of the dark, like REALLY scared, i don't know what it is i can flip a truck with my right arm and punch through a brick wall like its Styrofoam, but shut off the lights and a squeal like a four year old staring at grandma's bra.
Yeah thats right the good bits, heh sorry i get side-tracked pretty easily, ah now lets see, thanks to the magnets in my gourd i can do things Olympic athletes have wet dreams about, i can sprint thirty five miles in under an hour, dead lift two thousand pounds, probably more but i never really tried to push myself, pain tolerance up the wazu, not to mention reflexes that would scare a ninja, i can hear like a bat, sniff out sneaky sorts like a hound dog, and read a stop sign from over two miles away, not to mention i can kick up the old healing trance whenever i get banged up, never needing stitches is something you come to appreciate before long.
Hmmm how do you become a crazy or why do you become a crazy? Me? I wanted to be a hero, heh, kind of a laugh isn't it, if my brain had been just a little bit off i would have been a vegetable, or worse, yeah trust me there is a worse and no i ain't gonna get into it. To become a Crazy you have to have the cash or know a guy who needs someone to do his dirty work for him i lucked out and managed to sign on with a guard detachment in a fiefdom out west they had a cyberdoc who was willing to hook me up spent two years day and night running lines and keeping the boarders safe from all kinds of fucked up shit, really it could have been worse i could have wound up in some burb slum shaking down old ladies to pay my debt with a bomb in my skull cuddled up with the magnets that make me super human, yeah i ain't ashamed to call myself "superhuman" i can outperform some suits of power armor that makes me super human in my books. Anyway got distracted again, the dock sticks a couple dozen of these teeny tiny magnets all over you brain that adjust and stimulate the brain meats, killing pain and jacking up the adrenalin and growth hormones until your as beefy as me, and you can shut up right now sir i am one hundred and eighty pounds thats beefy damnit! The first year is the best by far i figure, i remember stubbing my toe for the first time after the surgery didn't feel a thing and ended up breaking the leg off the chair, i laughed, and scared one of the nurses too, apparently i was pretty quiet for a now crazyman, the appetite takes some getting used to any prolonged activity like say running the whole day leave you feeling pretty ravenous, though the doc gave me a whole mess of vitamin tablets i like to save them for emergencies otherwise i just eat six meals a day and I'm good to go.
The first fight, oooooh boy the first fight, whew i still get the shivers remembering it, four guys had been harassing some of the surrounding farms for protection from some deebee or another demanding food and ammo and what have you i got sent out to deal with them kind of an example if you will, anyway i stroll up to the farmstead just after they arrive and start demanding this and that i never let them finish, didn't even break stride with the first one, you ever hit a mail box with a base ball bat while doing thirty in a pick up truck well my fist hit him a bit harder than you can swing a bat, admittedly i went a bit overboard, cause i ran the whole way to this farmstead ten miles from the city proper only took me twenty minutes, and i slowed down after my hit connected he didn't even seem e coming and his head was in pieces all over my gauntlet, his buddies didn't even know what hit him until i stopped he didn't even hit the ground before i drew my pistol, they hadn't quite gotten over the fact thier leader wasn't talking anymore so i stowed my pistol (i was new to the whole super soldier thing sue me) when they finally started yelling and carrying on i shot one of them dead so they would at least know what direction to aim, so anyway i actually laughed while i watched them pull thier own weapons frankly if it had just been me by myself, I'd have let them shoot first, but i was on the job they got thier weapons at least pointed at me before i popped thier heads like balloons (particle beam weapons do that) then i just booked it back to the city proper bingo bango first fight never felt like more of a god since, though sadly my next fight would be much less fun, met my first juicer then, it was a bad day, anyway i think out time is up for now, i best be on my way see you later Victor.
-interview with Thomas Maclandon a Crazy-
As i stepped out of the bar into the falling rain of the burbs i couldn't help but feel like everyone was looking at me, might of been the fact i just had a deep conversation with a fake fern, might be the fact i am carrying enough firepower to level a building, or maybe a combination of the two either way at least the crowd gave me plenty of room when i stepped onto the sidewalk my combat boots squelching as they caught on the pitted concrete outside the Cat's Pajamas night club, the street lights managed to grant me little islands of safety between each death defying leap from the shadowy voids between them, call me a risk taker if you will but i get a weird thrill teasing the shadows like that makes me feel alive gets the old adrenalin pumping, the few people out here at this time of night are staring again, i think I'm thinking out loud again, ah well what are they gonna do about it.
As i land on a particularly dim puddle of yellow light i pull off my pack and light up my electric lamp creating my own safe haven against the clawing shade, and decide that perhaps i should find a place to lay my head for a few hours, Ma peter's boarding house is the place to stay if your super powered and don't like a whole lot of people crowding you one hundred credits gets this crazyman a cozy little cot in a nice comfy cell for the night with my lamp keeping the shadows at bay i manage to pass out for a while.
Woke up around, well my watch said four but it was still dark out so i question its validity(its racist), my light still burning cheerily away keeping the void at bay, i reached out and affectionately patted her, my little angel of light.
Ma Peters is the best place in the world for us supers, the rooms rent out four hours at a time, free shower, big breakfast (mostly 'taters and eggs), and a friendly smile when she sees you, best demon i ever met, (Ma Peters is an eight foot ogre btw) anywho after breakfast i wander out the door a hundred bucks lighter in the ole wallet, so cleaner and with a full belly off i go looking to replace that hundred bucks and hopefully find a bit of extra to catch a snack later, four in the morning and its still busy people going to and fro off to work or home or to the bar or chatting up a whore, me i have bid-ness.
Walking down the litter strewn streets, past the darkened windows and the very alive alleys full of shadows and sinister smiles, i hate the dark, someone makes thier tentacled way out of the shadows all lizard faced with writhing razored tentacles, pretty sure this one is real.
Everything happens all at once, my heart trip-kicks in my chest pumping adrenaline and endorphins and all sorts of wonder juice, stuff of the gods and its in MY veins feels kinda like eating all the chocolate pudding (I mean ALL of it), the world slows right down i can see each and every rain drop sparkling in my lamp light, i can count the number of teeth in the lizard bastards mouth and i can see clearly the slick grease like blood on each of his four tendrils coming my way, hmm nearly forgot about those what with all the nice scenery i have four options available to me at this time, First option: i can back up a couple steps and draw my rifle couple of shots from the ole particle beam rifle would probably do wonders for his complexion, Second option: i could go for the vibro blade in my belt, I'm willing to lay odds that fourteen inches of MDC ceramic can make short work of the porno prods coming my way, Option three(my favorite): close in right up in his face and stick my boot in his mouth maybe knock loose some of those teeth, and the last one i guess i could always make a break for it. Hmmm i like my knife and its not as expensive to use as my rifle, the ole vibro blade doesn't even slow down when it hits those scaly psudopods, which makes me regret not kicking him in the teeth, its a quick succession of short precise swipes that effectively castrates this urban predator, i stow the blade while it registers the loss of its tentacles, maybe it'll back down but probably not it still has a snoot full of teeth i should have kicked in ah well hind sight and all that i give it time to vent, it screams an thrashes and gets its sticky purple blood everywhere (of course not on me i can dodge a blood splatter in my sleep, sides i just had a shower i am not going for blood flecked esthetic, i like to be presentable when i go job hunting) all the noise and howling does attract attention sadly its the wrong kind, and seriously it just figures that the fuzz would show up the first time i get into trouble in the burbs and me without my cap on to hide my studs (the caps over my magnets incase you weren't paying attention) anyway the three of them show up rifles readied and shouting orders in English and Spanish saying "get on the ground now" and "drop your weapons" well this keeps up for a few seconds until i raise my lantern a little higher and reveal my de-tentacled friend lurking in the shadows of the alley. Freaky deebee's take precedent over a single peaceful crazy man like yours truly, they totally freak, me i try to tell him that he is squishy but he starts hissing and jabbering and waving around an ID card but they don't have time for that he is armed and dangerous all bleeding and such so they waste no time in opening up on him with thier laser rifles they do alot of damage to the building behind him thats for sure pop him like a blister, and as for me i start moving before they even have a bead on the poor bastard (hey i can feel sorry for all the crazy dimensional horrors i want to so meh!) I'm half way down the block by the time they take out a corner of the three story brick apartment complex and make swiss cheese of the two after it, and the four bedroom house just past those, infact i catch sight of thier blasts careening across the street infront of me as i round the corner, slicing into another building i lose track of where the shots go after that, too busy running from the law.
Now you see us poor neglected, oft' misunderstood super humans, we have a bad rep, every time a crazy or a juicer, or a 'Borg, or something goes on one little rampage, or takes out a small town, or levels a building, it casts shall we say a poor light on the rest of us, they start throwing around hurtful labels like "wantonly destructive" or "dangerous to the general populace" or "unstoppable hidden menace amongst us" (my personal fave), now me i personally have NEVER destroyed an entire building (by myself or without the aid of explosives), so i find these labels personally offensive but it does save me a bit of hassle when it comes down to crunch time with a bunch of squishies (the unaugmented amongst us) they typically don't want to pick a fight with someone who can knock thier heads off thier shoulders before they can draw thier guns, now where was i, oh yeah the law, well the coalitions states all four or five of them have a certain...dislike for us what can threaten entire squads of thier "highly trained" soldiers to the point that wandering around thier towns unregistered (of which i am most certainly not) is a crime punishable by immediate execution, hell i have heard tell of them popping us augmented sorts on sight out of principle, a somewhat questionable tactic i find, as even a lightly armored Borg is gonna shrug off a direct hit from a plasma cannon (i know i have tangled with one of those too, heh i get around) anyway registration is a bad idea but the burbs are an easy place to find work for one such as myself so here i am.
Anywho i clear out of the hot zone in under a minute carrying around my little lamp makes hiding from them kinda hard but I'd rather fight my way through thier number than give her up so yeah i do it the hard way running hell mell through the streets and alleys scaring up drunks and hookers at nearly every intersection before finally ducking into the only safe haven around, the sweet and lovely Tanica's tavern(nice name huh?) Gracie the bouncer was there to greet me and by greet i mean grab me by my head and lift me off the ground before i got two steps into the bar, its hard to startle a Juicer.
Wait, WHAT! you don't know what a juicer is? Where the hell have you been living the Moon? agh cripes, ah ok, a juicer is another type of enhanced soldier that relies on a constant feed of a particular chemical cocktail that builds and strengthens muscles deadens pain and keeps the body going to an almost unreasonable level, they are faster stronger and more endurent than any natural creature, much as i am loathe to say it they are tougher than me, faster too, i have seen them dodge bullets from a mounted machine gun while strolling up to the emplacement at a casual walk only to collect the still firing weapon from its mount and turn it on the soldiers firing it, to date i have never successfully defeated a juicer in a stand up fight. On the flip side its rare for a Juicer to live longer than five years, so its a fair trade i guess.
Anywho Gracie had me by the head at this point in our tale, and hefted me a foot off the ground my legs still trying to run while my feet were off the ground, she starts talking calm as can be while holding my hundred and eighty pound fully armored and armed self off the ground one handed while resting her hand on the vibro-sword hanging off her belt.
All right nut job, whats your hurry? (to which i respond) Aheh had a bit of a run-in with a rather angry/hungry/weird Deebee and the black lobsters (da fuzz) kinda didn't like our discussion and figured they would shed thier own kind of light on the matter, i didn't stick around to see the resolution. Her arched eyebrow (purple and pierced with three gold rings)told me that i better slide her some green if i wanted to get into the club, I was pleasantly surprised when she just dropped me and shoved me into the bar proper without another word guess a straight up answer was worth the trouble after all.
I suppose i should describe Gracie (i seem to be describing everything else just wait till i slip into the men's room, eh? *wink-wink* Nudge Nudge*) as Juicers go i would (at a looong distance) use the word "unimpressive" standing in at five eight and maybe one seventy, she is svelte for one of us super humans, all muscle and bone and sharp angles with wide eyes and carefully plucked brows and a long pony tail dyed the same color as her brows a short sturdy little package wrapped in a custom suit of MDC body armor that probably weighs nearly as much as she does her arms are uncovered revealing the tubes of her drug harness and thier contact points (i hear new models have sub dermal feed lines from the drug harness, scary not knowing they are a Juicer until they knock your block off) judging from her complexion i would guess at a Hispanic or perhaps Indian heritage but its always hard for me to tell. Oh crap she is looking at me funny, Grin! Grin! and pray i am not thinking outloud again, oh thank god she is smiling back, I think its time to fade into the crowd now best not to make her irate.
Ah the jewel of the burbs Tanica's, strong booze for strong patrons, also the furniture is made of metal and mesh, the glasses bullet proof glass, the entertainment is all caged off from the rest of us some kind of screaming metal band i cant see the logo through the crowd, hmm getting the evil eye from some of them guess they want me to turn off my lamp HA! yeah right not happening, Tanica oh dear sweet Tanica soothing temptress of the cups my heart it sings for you! i can see her now six foot four, beetled brow glaring holes in my forehead, that bowler hat hiding the bald spot beneath, no other girl in the world for me, its a dance to slip through the packed crowd of a bar full of Juicers, Borgs of all shapes and sizes and the odd Deebee so powerful they feel at home amongst us power houses, but soon, oh not soon enough but soon i have snuggled upto the bar between a nine foot titan and some kind of lizard man who smells like a muffler (seriously whats with the lizards today ugh).
Uh oh she is mad her bionic eye is glowing(or does it always do that?) Crap! they're staring at me I'm thinking out loud again, Double Crap! did it again, huh the titans was a girl who knew.
I should probably note that after that umm poorly (and unconsciously) stated notion that the Titan juicer (Bigger stronger slower Juicer) decided to give me a gentle tickle with her fist, a Titan Juicer's fist is like a battering ram fired from a cannon that is in turn fired from a cannon in short they can swing fast and hard(can turn a tank into scrap metal in short order well if they have gloves on at leasts) but me I'm faster maybe not stronger (HA! not even close) but a fair bit faster so while her fist is rocketing at me i am already ducking under it and introducing her ribcage to my fist, hmm feels kind of like punching a padded brick wall, and judging by the sudden absence of that exhaust stink the lizard that was standing behind me has vacated his seat either under his own power or propelled by my good friend here, i manage to bring my other fist into this party before she draws back her other arm to splatter me. Soon i am backing up dodging blows that would destroy an armored car as she roars at me like a bull calling me all sorts of hurtful things i personally don't care for the term "knob head" i like my cranial studs thank you, i respond to her insults by saying her ass is nearly as big as her head, i don't think she cared for that cause suddenly she starts smashing furniture, thats a bad sign i figure so i go for my vibro blade hoping that its long enough to get through that hide of hers cause if she clips me its going to hurt alot (you know if it doesn't kill me) just as i start powering up the ole cutter Gracie shows up and starts laying into the titan with her stun baton (think really big tazer/police baton combo) now while i am holding my own (i say I'm holding my own damn it!) Grace is so fast the titan may as well not be moving admittedly i lose sight of her a couple times behind the titan but soon the giant's injuries start to pile up and she settles down before things get too ugly, shoots me one last ball shriveling look and stalks out of the bar, skipping out on her tab i might add.
Gracie is staring at me like I'm crazy (haHA!) but soon shakes her head following the giant out the door, me i head back to the bar Tanica's eye is no longer glowing (I take it as a good sign) as i prop up the fallen barstools and order a beer, Tanica simply shakes her head and pours me a mug of tepid amber glory and slides it to me, I'm two loong pulls in when she beans me in the head. You Dumb son of a bitch! she coos affectionately(ok she snarls it but hey its all pillow talk baybee) why is it you always ALWAYS start shit in my bar? And always with the big ones, pick on a squishy damn it , they don't bust up my bar like the big ones. Aw but Tani my sweet (I shoot her the ole big brown eyes) I didn't know i was thinking out loud again, you know i have problems, i tap one of my studs at this. she calms down enough to atleast put the bat down(did i mention she hit me with a bat, coulda sworn i did) she sighs and leans in close enough for us to talk like semi-civilized people.
So why are you here making trouble with the big kids and wrecking my house you *are* paying for the furniture you helped wreck and settling her tab you know, its the least you could do, she glares at me pointedly the old bionic eye glowing once more for effect i am sure, sadly as it turns out my wallet was not upto the task still she took me for what i had and i was forced to nurse what was left of my beer that night, but i am getting ahead of myself, shortly after fleecing em of every penny i had, she settles in and waits expectantly for me to start talking, so i explained my lack of funds and general trouble with the local law and she gave me a patient stare as i smiled hopefully, Tanica usually has an ear for the sort of work us super humans gravitate towards, sadly she just gave me a stony stare before saying with a nasty sort of grin that i would soon learn to hate, are you still afraid of the dark?
Whelp thats my first chapter didn't think I'd actually get one out since i doubt my longest story, written previously was half this length anywho. Rate review FLAME THE F**K out of me i beg you criticism only helps me improve my writing so any help will do me wonders.