Hey dudes this might end up being just a one shot but I have a couple of ideas floating around in my head for a Dean/Jo story from this piece.
Why is it that when you want to forget about that one person, to move on, to let go, you can't?
The pain is real, dark and heavy on my heart, but when I try to fight it to disperse the darkness all I feel is the weights of my emotions hold me down here in this prison of unrequited love.
You see I love him but he doesn't know this, he just thinks of me as some silly schoolgirl with a "crush".
Yeah a" crush". HA!
A crush is something that is based on infatuation and lust. Nothing more, nothing less.
The thing that causes my heart to feel like it's black and blue from the bruising it takes when I see him with someone else, is not a crush. Far from it in fact.
No. What I am felling is that all consuming nature of Love.
The butterflies in the stomach, the constant- incessant beating of my injured heart when he just looks my way. The way (even though I don't want to but) all I do is think about him and everything that even remotely reminds me of him causes my breath to catch and my feelings to envelop and fill my poor, poor wasted heart.
Trust me if I could shut it off, I would.
It's completely caused the most pain and annoyance in my life.
I try to fight it, try and fool myself and my heart that I am over him, through with it. But it's like a one-two punch once I stop and really try to let go.
To free not only myself but also him because what I am feeling is holding me back from being a "person" for him.
From being a person he can count on to be there, to help, to fix, to stick him back together when he looses himself or someone. To put him back together and make sure he is ok.
But all he ends up getting is snarky, sarcastic remarks and unanswered questions of who, what, when, where and why.
Because that just it. You know when you're in Love with someone.
It's when you truly feel like you hate them and yet one smile or little morsel of some kind of affection causes your heart to burn and the hate to disperse and you're all wrapped up in them again.
Wrapped up in your own little secret. That's yours and yours alone.
as always reviews are greatfully appricated, also if people would like me to continue from this piece just ask! :)