Hello! I'm here to try my best to rip your hearts out, and stomp on them. Think I can do it? No? Whatever, I'll do it.

Oh, and everyone in the musical will look like their musical self, but with their cannon's eyes. Their personalities will be a mix between their book and musical selves.

I've changed this from when I first updated it. So... hopefully this will go better.

My name is Voldemort, that's not my real name, but I hate going by my father's name, so I go by Voldemort. And this is the story of how I was saved.

I don't mean that in a religious way, what I mean is that I made some friends that saved me from becoming some evil dark lord or something. I guess I should start at the sorting.

I was in my third year at Hogwarts, and had just gotten in from the Hogwarts express. I was sitting at the Slytherin table with Bellatrix Black, and Lucius Malfoy, waiting for Professor McGonagall to walk in with the first years. Bellatrix, was wondering about the new Slytherins we would get, and Lucius was daydreaming about either, Narcissa Black, or dancing.

I on the other hand, was just staring at the great hall doors, waiting for McGonagall and the first years to come in.

Which they did, three minutes later. They followed McGonagall looking scared, nervious, and their eyes were full of wonder. Once they were at the front of the hall, McGonagall set the hat on the stool. Silence followed, and slowly the rip opened and he started to sing.

I'm the Hogwart's Sorting Hat

And I'll peek inside your head

To figure out your house

In which for seven years you'll stay

You might be in Gryffindor

In which those who are brave

Spend those seven years

With their daring nerves

Or you could be in Hufflepuff

For those who are just and loyal

Though you must remember

They are unafraid of toil

Another house is Ravenclaw

For those who are so bright

Those creative Ravenclaws

Can answer any riddle

The last place you could be

Is in dear old Slytherin

For those full of cunning

Those determaned Slytherins

Will always find a way

So put me on, so I can take a peek

And figure out where you belong

In this big ol' school

Everyone in the hall erupted in applause, and the sorting began. But to save time I'm just going to do the sorting of important people.

"Moaning, Mytle!" McGonagall said. Following her name, a tall, gangly girl with brown pigtails, buckteeth, and round glasses went up to the stool. McGonagall put the hat on her head, it didn't take long before it shouted,

"RAVENCLAW!" Mytle smiled, and looked at the crowd of first years, probably looking for a friend as the scarf of sexual preference was set on her shoulders.

"Bisexual!" He shouted, and with one last smile at some first year, she stood and ran to the cheering table.

"Quirrell, Quirinus" Professor McGonagall called, and probably the smallest, scrawniest, and frightened first year to ever come to Hogwarts stepped up. When I looked at him, I couldn't help but think that he was pretty adorable. He had light brown hair, and bright blue eyes. He was shaking so badly as he sat upon the stool, and the hat was placed on his head.

The rip on the hat frowned a little, and seemed to be in deep thought as the kid shook like crazy beneath it. This kid's sorting was by far, the longest I've ever sat through, and a little more than five minutes later, the hat seemed to have decided.

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat shouted, and was removed. Professor McGonagall placed the scarf at the kid's scrawny shoulders.

"Finally!" The scarf exclaimed. "I was wondering if we were going to be getting any good ones. This little cutie is gay!" McGonagall removed the scarf from around Quirrell's shoulders and he walked to the Ravenclaw table, looked like he was about to faint.

"Tonks, Nymphadora." Professor McGonagall called. A girl with bright pink hair skipped up to the stool, and sat down her eyes bright with anticipation. The hat was about an inch above Tonk's head, before it shouted,

"HUFFLEPUFF!" With a surprised look Professor McGonagall pulled the hat away, and placed the scarf on her shoulders.

"Hmm, defiantly bicurious." The scarf said. "Though, if given the chose, she would defiantly be with a werewolf." The girl blushed when the hat said that, but didn't look unhappy with it as she went to the Hufflepuff table.

So what do you think about Quirrell being a hatstall? Mytle being bisexual? Tonks being bicurious, but would be with a werewolf?

Tell me what you think, I would like to know!

Hopefully it will get better, I can't write sortings, and I'm still surprised out how well that song went.