HELLO!

Those of you who have read this before (not too many reviews, though a lot of hits) will hopefully find this much changed for the better. I took away the little I had written and have changed it drastically- becuase I was not happy with it whatsoever. So I'm hoping to get a little satisfaction this time.

As always, this entire fic from start to finish is a creation of my imagintion, based off of the characters and time gaps of JK Rowling.

It is a fic about how Remus was bitten, and the whys and therefores- mostly talking about Fenrir Greyback and Remus's father- so if you don't dare about either one of these men you'll probably want to read something else.

John Remus's Father

Chapter 1

He woke up and immediately wished he hadn't.

John Lupin laid in bed, stretched on his side. He did not even have to turn to his other side to read the illuminated numbers on the digital clock to know that it said 6:14 AM. He often wondered why fourteen and not fifteen, but the person who had set the clock usually couldn't explain her reasoning. He had learned to love her spontaneity.

But today her side of the bed was empty.

And that was why he couldn't get up.

He reached over his shoulder to tap the snooze button and accidentally knocked the clock off the table. The trills of the alarm became louder, and he was forced to jump from the bed onto the floor, search blindly for a moment in the dark, and finally rip the batteries from the machine to shut it up. He reached up and set the machine on the table, breathing a bit more heavily than necessary. Rising to his feet, he quickly walked to the window and raised the blind.

Light spilled in, paining him until he had blinked a few times. Despite the proof that it was, indeed morning, John still stood sleepily at the window. Rubbing his five o'clock shadow, he turned around again.

The bed. This time he could see it plainly, only a few feet away. For the first time since he could remember, the blankets bore no evidence that his wife had been there. It was the first morning since he'd gotten married where he'd woken up to find that no one had kicked him, or stolen his covers, or fallen asleep on his arm (making it go completely numb) during the night.

The only imprint on the mattress was his own.

He looked at it. A deep moan escaped his lips before he'd even realized he was making a sound.

"Olivia!" he moaned. Then, he lowered himself against the wall and wept.

John didn't know how he could stand to be there in the cemetery, watching someone who had not even known his wife say what a marvelous person she was. Luckily he seemed to be in some sort of blessed daze- He barely remembered dressing or coming downstairs that morning.

His son was already awake and was standing at the stove, flipping eggs with one hand and pressing the phone to his ear on the other. Already there was toast and tea on the table, along with a few large dishes of casserole that the neighbors had sent over yesterday. Knowing he wouldn't be able to eat, John had slid into his chair, and merely listened to Remus's half of the conversation.

"No, I don't think so. My Grandfather sent an owl yesterday, he said that he'd be over around eleven." Remus flipped another egg. John reached for a cup of tea, taking in his hands for warmth. He sipped it mechanically, and looked up at his son's face.

The boy looked tired. Well of course he looked tired- he the moon would be tomorrow. That was why they had to have the funeral so quickly- so that their son could pay his last respects before his illness. His three friends had practically taken residence since Monday. John wondered if perhaps they were still here- and hence why Remus was cooking.

Remus appeared to be listening hard to something the person on the other end- probably his aunt- was saying. He sighed again.

"Yes, I'll see you then. No- no please don't bring any food…" Remus listened again. His face might have been expressionless, had his eyes not given him away. He took a deep breath. "Yes. Thank you. Alright. Bye."

He set down the phone on the countertop and picked up a plate with the free hand. Gracefully he flipped three eggs from the pan onto the dish and turned off the stove. He placed the platter on the table and sat down across from John.

John looked at the eggs.

"I'm not hungry," he said.

Remus sighed. "Neither am I. I just felt like I needed to do something."

John reached his hand across the table. He gently placed it overtop his son's. No words were needed. They stayed that way for a moment.

The doorbell rang.

John looked at the clock. Eleven on the dot.

He stood up. "Well… it's time."

Remus's eyes didn't meet his. They looked determinedly out the window as he swallowed.

John wished he could be strong for him. He wished he could tell him that everything was going to be alright- but he wasn't too sure of it himself. And even if he did say those words- they would still be empty.

Remus was sixteen; but he was already old enough to realize that life didn't always play fair.

That was how the morning had gone. Slowly. It was completely agonizing.

Added to this was the element of John's father- who's personality was so icy that any warmth that might have been present because of fond memories or love disappeared like a wisp of smoke. Remus had disappeared almost immediately after his arrival- not that John could blame him. He half wished he could do the same. Still, he put up with his father's harsh and blunt personality, breathing a sigh of relief when Remus left his friend's side to shuffled forward as the final spells were put into place over the gravesite.

Although... perhaps it would have been better if Remus hadn't come- for besides Olivia O'Brian, there was no one in the world Romulus Lupin despised half as much as her half-breed son.

"I warned you John," he murmured as the Speaker performed various enchantments and spells that carved the decease's name into the granite stone. "I warned you about marrying a muggle, didn't I? And yet you didn't listen and look where it got you-"

"My mother," Remus's lips barely moved. "Died in an accident. It was hardly a result of poor decision making."

Until this point in time, John had felt he was holding up rather well- still his resistance began to cave. The idea of his wife being buried in a box beneath the earth- while his family stood above and argued over her corpse…

"Father…" he whispered. "Remus… please…"

"It's true as you well know John," hissed Romulus. "And the boy is as bad as you are, choosing to stand with his friends instead of his family during the funeral service-"

"I was standing with my aunt. My mother's sister," Remus explained quietly. His shoulders were quite tense now, as though it was taking his entire resolve to not explode.

"This is not the moment to discuss such things," John begged.

"…I can only hope that he chooses his friends more wisely than you did…"

"What the hell are you taking about?" Remus finally burst out, not even bothering to keep his voice down. "What does any of this have to do with my mother?!"

"Remus-" John began.

But there was no stopping Romulus Lupin- he had waiting to deliver this speech for years, and now he let loose.

"This is where it has left you!" The older man turned to John, fury etched deeply in each line of his ancient face. The lines were not from smiles- but father from years of brow furrowing and the endless disapproval of every subject. It was strange to see such a man enraged- standing in his dress robes, with spit flying from his mouth. Strange because apart from their Christmas and Birthday Card greetings, he was not associated with their little family at all- and had not been since the day Remus had encountered a werewolf.

Remus didn't know about that yet. But he was about to, because it (unfortunately) happened to be part of the speech that spewed from Romulus' mouth.

"I warned you about that man, didn't I?" Romulus screamed. "I told you- I forbid you from him and yet you purposely disobeyed me! Look where it's gotten you! He destroyed everything! It was his fault- he was the one who lead you to this woman! Who is responsible for the condition of your child-"

John felt as though the entire world was shifting beneath his feet, bringing up everything he thought had been buried- everything that had been carefully forgotten. He opened his mouth to quiet his father, but before he could Remus jumped in.

"What are you talking about?!" he asked, sounding half enraged and half wary. "Who are you talking about?!"

Without the slightest hesitation, Romulus looked deeply into his grandson's eyes and spat in disgust, "You Fool! Who do you think I'm talking about? Fenrir Greyback of course!"

He had had worse days. Still, this one had ranked high enough to be counted as the third on his list.

John was at home, with his father a comfortable fifty miles away. He leaned back against the wall of his bedroom, shutting his eyes. But each time he did, the scene only replayed itself in his mind. The graveyard- the fight- the look of intense betrayal in his son's eyes…

"You're lying!" Remus had choked out. "Lying…" and then he had turned to his father. "Tell him the truth!" He commanded.

And John had said nothing. He had said nothing at all. As realization filled the boy's features he had turned from him. He had turned and simply begun to walk away. Once out of the clearing, he'd started to run.

Everyone watched. After a moment, James, Sirius and Peter had left- undoubtedly to go after him.

'Thank heaven there weren't many people there,' John thought. Even more lucky that the majority of people were either familiar with the Lupin family's secret or muggles and therefore completely oblivious to it.

It was well past midnight. Still, John waited for the sound of the front door opening. He wouldn't be surprised if it didn't open tonight- after all, James' parents were extremely fond of Remus- as they were all of James' friends. John was sure that they would probably allow him to stay the night without even the thought of denying the request.

Still, John had to be sure- even though he was secretly terrified as to what course of action might take course the moment Remus walked through those doors. He really should have told him about it… it wasn't right that he had learned about it at his mother's burial.

'Olivia… what would you do?' he wondered, as he sit on his bedroom floor, looking again at her empty place on the mattress. 'How would you fix this…?'

And almost immediately the answer came.

'At the very least, I'd owe him an explanation… but where would I start?'

He sighed. The answer to that was obvious too.

At the beginning.

'Well you see Remus, I met this kid named Fenrir in my second year of Hogwarts… and my life's been crazy ever since…'

I know it's very very intense for a first chapter... but it will all be explained, hopefully. Do you like it better? Think it's worse?

Thanks,

Fe