Hitsugaya's P.O.V.

It was a pretty normal day in Soul Society. The sky was bright and sunny, there were hell butterflies all over the place, and of course, my lieutenant, Matsumoto Rangiku, as always, was drunk on the couch, in the middle of the day. I hear her mumble something in her sleep.

"Hmm… don't do that… eheheh" she giggles and she shifts her position on the couch to make herself more comfortable. 'What the hell is she dreaming about?' I thought, and focus my attention again to the huge pile of paperwork on my desk. Both mine and Matsumoto's. I sigh. What did I do to deserve this lieutenant?

There's a sudden knocking on the door. I reply with a soft and cold "Enter". My third seat enters the room, quietly closes the door behind her and bows.

"Excuse me taichou. Sorry for disturbing you, but Kuchiki-taichou ordered me to inform you that you must send someone from your squad, that it's at least a ranked seat, to the real world and help the substitute shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Very well. Inform Kuchiki-taichou that I shall send someone to the real world by this evening."

"Yes taichou" She gives a sheet of paper and she gets out of the room as quickly as she came.

'Now who the hell I'm going to send there?' It was a hard question actually, my third, fourth and fifth sit were out doing some errands for me to the other taichou and vice-versa. Most of my other higher ranked seats were out on missions, and like this appears to be an important mission, that some of my lower ranks can't handle, I won't risk sending them. I let out a long breath and take a look at paper sheet. Just like I thought, the sheet had the duties that should be carried during the mission imprinted on it, with Kuchiki's handwriting. It weren't that hard, but it weren't exactly easy either. It was mainly scan the town for the disturbances that have been appearing lately, helping Kurosaki to watch the city, and be on the lookout for the Arrancar. I let another long breath out. I'll have to send Matsumoto. Once she gets over her hangover, of course. Hey, it will be beneficial for both of us:

1) Matsumoto gets some well (un)deserved vacation, and goes to the real world.

2) She gets to stay at Orihime's house and eat whatever is that she makes (I simply can't understand how any human being or shinigami, heck; or even a hollow could eat that).

3) She gets to do her two favorite things in the world: shopping and getting drunk without me to scream at her after.

4) I get some time away from her.

5) I can finally do my paperwork (and hers) in peace, without her snoring, giggling, or muttered obscene phrases during her sleep.

Now, let's see. What would be a good method to wake her up? An alarm clock? No she, my third and fourth seat already broke half of them after the "Big Monthly Party of the Tenth Division" last month, when I tried to wake them up like that. So that was a no. Start screaming to her that there was a really hot entering the building, or that Gin betrayed Aizen and came back to the Soul Society's side? Maybe not… Last time I tried that, she went looking for the guy, and only after two hours, she decided there hadn't been added any hot guys to the building since she went back to sleep. And when I tried the later, she woke up and get up so quickly that it startled me, and when she found out that it wasn't true, she went through a week long depression period. So those two were also out. Tell her that her favorite shop has sales? Or that they were handing free sake on the divisions barracks? Maybe tell her that the Women Shinigami Association had been able to take photos of the sixth division's captain and lieutenant in…. very compromising situations? Better not, she would find out that all of those were lies and scold me for it (even though according with Yachirou-fukutaicho and Kuchiki Rukia, the latter was true). Ah! I know what to do! I'll simply use Hyourinmaru and give her a cold shower. That should wake her up, and help her hangover too.

So, where did I leave my zanpakuto? It must be in the office somewhere. Okay, time to go search for her, even though I'm pretty sure I left it next to my desk.

After one hour or so of searching, I finally found it. "How in the hell did it get from my desk to under the couch?" Never mind that. I'll find out and deal with it later. Right now I need to wake up my lovely lieutenant. "Soten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!" I whisper softly. Now in three, two, one…

"AHHHHHH!!!!! Taichou!" She shrieks. Oh my, this is so funny. It was totally worth getting the couch wet. "Why did you do that?"

"Because it was the only way of getting you up after being as drunk as you were last night" I replied coldly, sheathed Hyourinmaru and placed my beloved Zanpakuto once again against the desk.

"Aww! You're so mean taichou!" She says, pouting slightly. "So why did you wake me up, ne taichou? I was having this really great dream, where I ---"

"Matsumoto!" I cut her sentence. I'm so not in the mood for this. "I do not care or want to know about your obscene dream." She was about to say something, and I bet it was asking how I knew what her dream was about, but I simply cut her, once again. "I simply do. Now, listen. Listen carefully. I have been asked to send someone from our division to Karakura town and help Kurosaki, in his duties and investigate the new and strange disturbances. I'll be sending you. You'll be staying with that Orihime girl again, and do your duties without mistakes. You got it?"

She nodded slowly and got all like her energetic self before asking. "That means I can eat her delicious food! Oh, when I'm not on missions or busy, I can do whatever I like, right?" At this her eyes gleam with hope.

I sigh, for the fourth or fifth time in a short amount of time. "Yes, but see if you don't waste your pay check only in sake and useless things. And don't let it get in the way of your mission!"

"Taichou I'm hurt. I don't spend my money on "useless" things. They all have a purpose! And I never let it get in the way in my missions did I?" She asked pointing her finger out, like to prove something. I sigh, yet again. "Hmm, taichou? Aren't they going to send a team like when the Arrancar invaded Karakura town for the first time?"

"Not yet. Only if the problem gets worse or an Arrancar attacks, they'll send the same team again. I hope you keep me informed about your mission status, though." Karakura town had been quite peaceful in the last few weeks. Kurosaki and his team were able to rescue Orihime and bring her back to the human world, without much trouble, but unfortunately, also without causing heavy damages on the Arrancar force. This means, that a war may happen anytime now, so we need to get ourselves ready. "Go get prepared. You'll leave by nightfall". I say and return to my never ending pile of paperwork.

"Yes sir!" She replies quickly and goes to her room pack her stuff. It's only the paper work and me now. Finally, peace at long last!

Note: This is story has a weird setting. Ichigo and the others are able to rescue Inoue, but don't kill any of the Arrancar in Hueco Mundo. And Aizen, his two loyal serves and the Espada 1 to 3 didn't came to the real world and beat the hell out of the shinigami. I know, weird.

Hey guys! Hope you like this first chapter of this really weird story that I came up with. I think I'm oriented to write comedy and humor… even though I would like to write something like romance or drama. Oh well, I'll stick with comedy for now. There may be some grammatical errors, but its 4a.m. and I'm too lazy and sleepy to go check.

So this is a story where, well, there are thoughts that Vergil and Shirou-chan are related XD. I know, it's retarded. But they do look alike! You can't deny that! I blame this entire story on my insomnia and my love for chocolate (that can mess up with my brain pretty well.)If you can think a better title to this story, please tell me! See ya.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Devil May Cry, and neither of its characters. I can only wish I did.