The Very Model of a Modern Gay Pedophile

Summary: Inspired by a random Pheonix Wright fanfic. Read if you dare! And save the complaints for those who care.

I do not own anything! The song is a parody of the song I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.

XxX

Marc: I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

I'm pretty so guys lie to me and say I'm intellectual.

Some fangirls have even paired me with Justin and made me a pedophile.

My best friend is a bitch and my boss maniacle.

Just because some fangirls went too far is no reason to put me on trial.

If anything I'm guilty for my unbeatable sense of style.

Amanda: Sure, and with how many colours you dress in and how you suddenly broke up with you boyfriend you surely aren't a pedophile.

Marc: But don't you ever mention the cursed name of Jean Weiner to me.

Amanda and Betty: Don't you ever mention the accursed name of Jean you see,

You never, ever mention the accursed name of Jean you see,

You ever, ever mention the accursed name of Jean, of Jean, you see.

Marc: My hair and my fashion sense are simply quite impeccable.

Justin: I'd say the way you stare at my ass is simply what-the-heck-able.

Marc: (Stares a moment before continuing) But something like that accidentally happening is simply quite inevitable.

I am the very model of a modern homosexual!

Justin: (Aside to Betty and Hilda) He is the very model of an unsure-pedophile.

Especially from the way anything I say or do makes him smile.

I think that his terrible love life is the thing that's driven him.

I should have known from how he always brings up the strange feelings I have given him.

And the fact that I am telling Mom this makes me hope that he knows how to swim.

I never saw even a gay man that walked, talked and sat like that.

And I never saw one except for at the gay pride parade who dresses as colourful as that.

Chorus: And never would a gay man that liked men his own age dress as colourfully as that.

I think that pedophile that owned the candy shop owned a suit like that.

Marc: The truth is in a show like this that there's only slight gay love in.

My preference for little boys must be kept implied even though it's only towards him (Points to Justin),

So viewers, I can't kiss the boy, if only to protect you all (and maybe even only for a while).

But rest assured I am the very model of a modern gay pedophile!

Hilda: (Glares) He is so dead.

XxX

XD I just can't stop with this. lol. Credit goes to kitkat411 for the idea that came from her Pheonix Wright fic. Save the complaints for those who care.