Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Chapter 1: GREEN Envelopes
As he glared furiously at the GREEN envelope at hand, he imagined flaring flames, flowers, and saw the tears of a dream. Through the tears emerged a scorching flower field with infectious fires that were high enough to reach and paint the sky dusky red, wide enough to leave no spot unscathed. The tears could not possibly contain the fires.
He decided he needed time to mentally prepare himself, while knowing his worst fears came true. So he opted to toss the envelope across the room, perfectly landing the piece of surprise that ruined his morning on the wooden kitchen table. He had woken up to the soft rays of the sun shining through the window on his face. It was the first indication of an awful day to come. When there was something good happening to him, there was always the bad to accompany it.
Then he had decided to check his mail, landing him in the above situation. It didn't take a genius to figure out that normal envelopes are never…green. Unless surprises were involved of course.
Casting a final glance at the envelope, he walked quickly from the kitchen to his bedroom, bending over only to grab an orange T-shirt and a pair of loose black pants from the messy floor, and then he proceeds to the bathroom, slamming the door loudly behind him. Within ten short minutes, he reemerged fully dressed, and headed to the kitchen once again, planting himself in a chair right in front of object he had taken the liberty of tossing earlier.
Over the years he has gotten slightly quicker to figuring things out and the green envelope was just one of them. He sensed the arrival of trouble since he had only received a green envelope for that one time when Guy-sensei was getting…married. He shuddered at the thought, because, what woman in their sane mind would- oh. Well, there is the answer. The woman must be crazy; he just cannot think of another reason, well, that and because he didn't want to rack up his brain just to explain some of the things you can't explain in life. But he had to say, the wedding card was one of the best surprises he had gotten. It made him glad to know that his youthful friend will be able to find a marriage partner in the future.
Briefly smiling to himself, he turns back to the envelope, and he had no doubt it was from Lee. He was pretty sure he had a pretty good idea about what was inside, if gossiping ladies were anything to contribute to that. Sighing heavily, he slips a nearby knife under the envelope seal, revealing an intricately embroidered PINK card.
That was it, that was all he needed before he bolted for the door, flinging the unread card without care for where it landed.
"Damn! Damn it all to hell!" he screamed as he walks quickly out of his modest apartment on the seventh floor. He hated his life at this moment. He had never been as low on self-esteem as now. While entering the elevator and waiting for it to close, another person has joined him. A woman at that, since he heard the clicking of heels. He looked up from his moment of depression before he registered the face of his neighbor.
"Hi, morning! In a hurry? I want to point out you are not wearing any shoes."
He grumbles a quiet 'morning' before turning away from his neighbor, ignoring her comment.
"So… have you received Lee's wedding invitation?"
Growling under his breath, he turned abruptly to his neighbor, meeting with attractive baby blue eyes. She was dressed in a tight blue dress with black straps not nearly enough to cover anything, not that he minded. At this point, he could care less about what others thought of him, so he swiftly lifted his hand before pointing his middle finger at her. On cue, the elevator door opened and he rushed out, leaving a baffled lady.
His POV
Going into a nearby boutique and ignoring all greetings and suggestive looks from the female employees, I dialed the one number I knew well. Pressing '9' three times, I waited distractedly while trying to keep my brows from being knitted together in frustration.
A nearby female worker interrupted my thoughts, asking if I was okay. She should really be glad I don't hit women; I do my best to give them a swift ending. As I was about to tell her off, a sweet girlish voice over phone cut me off. Savoring momentarily about how a voice could be so sweet, yet soft and loud at the same time, I didn't process what she had said until she repeated.
"Hello? Konoha's own absolutely awesome Police Headquarters at your service, line 2, how may I h-"
What is wrong with her? Did she have a death wish? Ignoring what she said, I demanded, "Get me Sas-"
" GYAAA!"
Then all I heard was the slamming of the phone and the steady beeping of being hung up on. Bitch. That was definitely not a fan girl scream. Wait, wait, WAIT a minute! When did Konoha's Police Headquarters allow girls in the normal department? Has Sasuke became lenient? When he took over last year he specifically limited the number of mature, non-annoying woman (over 18) that could be admitted each year. Should I be amused that at least the girl had a sense of humor?
Never mind that, I would have to pay a visit to my freakin' great-grandfather if I went back. Can't a man get anything at Konoha without returning to the Headquarters? Should I bring guns? Paying a visit to Konoha Headquarters, which was located underground, was not an option for me. Going there would also mean seeing my grandpa, and seeing my grandpa means handing in my nonexistent Chapter 4 draft. I wouldn't mind seeing my great-grandfather, but I don't particularly enjoy seeing my grandpa, because he made an awful condition in the agreement contract to let me live outside of Headquarters.
Calling Sasuke's cell phone would not help considering he never picked up when someone called. Too bad he didn't answer phone calls with unknown caller ID's either.
He was probably not at Konoha College, I know the both of us are only there 3 out of 10 days.
Wanting to try my luck today, I know Sasuke might pick up his cell phone just to laugh at me. No, Uchiha Sasuke does not laugh, he taunts. Not wanting that, I could always call Neji, he definitely wouldn't mind lending me money. Making up my mind, I rushed back home, and not knowing where I put my cell phone, I dialed my cell phone number on my home phone. Hearing a familiar ring tone from beneath the bed, I placed my home phone back in place before heading over to find my phone in the heap of clothes lying next to the bed. Seeing a familiar orange cell phone in one of the pockets of my pants, I gladly picked it up.
Pressing speed dial number 3, I waited impatiently as a deep voice with a hint of amusement in it picked up.
"Naruto, congratulations. I am hereby to give you this message from Sasuke, 'You have been officially recognized as the most pitiful man in Konoha Underground and above ground. Any comments? I won't buy you a plane ticket if that is what you are asking for. Face reality. Try Itachi, he is most amused by your predicament.' And so am I, take his advice. I am actually not in a position to help you right now. Sasuke went mountain climbing if that is what you are wondering about. Good luck."
"Wai-" Before he finished what he has to say, Neji was already gone. Damn, how did both of them know what I was going to ask? More importantly, Sasuke's message showed that the news of my 'incompetence' was already widespread and a matter of gossip among people who knew of the name Namikaze. It is a big blow to my mind, my pride, and my reputation. The whole underground organization of Konoha knew how big of a loser I am now. What would someone from the underground do to redeem themselves? That includes not resorting to murder, that will further damage my already beyond-repair reputation. The only thing I could do to salvage my pride was, as Sasuke had said, face reality. Pfft, as if.
I guess I could call Itachi, he does give good advice. Just when I was about to press speed dial 6. The device started ringing, the screen lighting up, revealing 'Teme' as the caller ID. I had a premonition that something bad must be happening, considering he never calls me. Swallowing the lump that had formed in my mouth unconsciously, I answered the phone in a solemn tone, "What's wrong?"
"Don't go back to Kono-"
The sound of gunshots cut him off, and I can hear him taking deep breaths and swearing under his breath. Although the wind from his side made hearing difficult, the sound of a helicopter was unmistakable. Assuming the 'ka-chak' sound was Sasuke reloading his gun and the increased swishing of the wind against the phone was Sasuke moving, I believe he is having a fight while… mountaineering. My suspicions are confirmed a moment later.
"Shit! I can't fucking descend or else-" More swishing and a louder-than-welcomed gunshot passed near the phone, Sasuke must have dodged a close one. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a few more helicopters. What is going on? It sounded like chaos there.
"Sasuk- Fuck! Who?"
"Don't go back," he warned venomously, "What the f-"
That was the last thing I heard before the sound of an explosion came and the line was cut.