'Why?', Break often wondered over the years, 'Why is Gilbert the mess he is? What on earth could have happened to him in the past he didn't remember, that made him cling so desperately to a Master so destructive for him?'
It didn't need a genius to figure out that something had to have happened, something terrible, something traumatic, something frightening the child Gilbert was back then to death, turning his personality into the twisted and bonded mess he was now.
Break had to admit, to some point he was curious about it.
Especially when he saw that 14 years old boy using his own brother without hesitation, or the 17 years old almost-a-man killing his first victim, with fear in his eyes and an horrible expression on his face, but still without his hands shaking. Or the 21 years old still-not-a-man falling asleep at his desk at Pandora, flinching and gasping, clutching his left hand in pain. And then there was this 24 years old good-for-nothing-man holding his Master in his hands, trying so hard to hold back the tears of joy, because he was finally, finally able to be by his Master's side again.
It was down there in the ruins of Sablier, where Break, for the first time, started to think that he was not the only one wondering about it. Because even though Gilbert stated that he didn't want to remember, Break knew from the terrified gleam in those golden irises that the abnormality of his entire behavior did, indeed, scare Gilbert out to his wits, particularly while he was pointing that gun at Break's head.
But most of all, Break wondered how Gilbert managed to stay Gilbert over all those years. How he was able to not lose himself in the whole process of growing up, of becoming that man and monster others made him to be, even Break himself made him to be. But no matter what he was turned into by all of it, deep down Gilbert always stayed as he was. He was always worrying too much, always trying to be helpful, always doing everything he could, no matter how often he failed or disappointed others and himself.
So when this almost 25 years old finally-a-man stood in front of Break, without his left arm but vibrating out of pure entirety, his wondering stopped. Because just like Gilbert had finally become a whole person again, Break finally could see, even though he really couldn't see at all, what 'the past is in the past' truly meant. That it didn't mean to run from it, to hide it under a new name and a new appearance, to forget it, but to accept it. To take it as part of what he was. And then let it go. Because the past is in the past and the future is ahead.
In this moment, Break really felt it. He felt how proud he was of Gilbert, how much watching the changes his something-like-a-friend underwent changed Break himself and how curious he was to see what lied ahead.
And Break, for the first time in what felt like forever, started to think that maybe Kevin wasn't all that dead.